open decency

two men in madrid(1954), cecillia de torres

i am proud to say that i didn't spend valentines alone last night. i spend it having an hour and a half arguement with brian and sandy were to dine in. we almost considered the entire quezon city area, starting from fairview, katipunan, north edsa, visayas avenue, tomas morato, east wood all the way to robinson galleria. at the end, we found ourselves emptying our pockets in don henricos in tomas morato.
sandy invited me over after my shift and met them in up diliman. they were already there around 5 in the afternoon waiting for me and zig. when i reached the library walk, it was already quarter to six. but the place was still busy with students, mostly not from up, for that night's concert as a part of the week long up fair, which i really opt not to go.
(i know that i've already mentioned on my previous post that i wouldn't write something mushy about valentines. but i think this post wouldn't really tackle something extreme mushy.)
when i took off the jeep, i saw sandy and brian sitting along the library walk. while i was walking towards where they were at, i saw two guys standing and talking infront of them. they look like the "typical up students," meaning they were wearing tshirts, jeans and slippers, laid back as my former officemate once told me in describing me and other up students.
as i exhaustedly walking near them. i saw both of the guys kissed on my periphery. but the stare of the number of people also sitting along the library walk and that would include both of my friends, actually confirmed to me that indeed the two guys kissed. my periphery and the people's stare infront also in a way, told me that it was a long and sensual one.
i was actually surprised not because of the two guys kissing but on the reaction on the face of the people who saw them kissing. as far as i know, up is considered to be the home of the bright and open minds. but seeing the reaction of those students on their faces, it actually put my belief on doubt.
is up indeed, still the home of bright and open minds? or is just that their students are ought to live with this belief?
by the time i reached and greeted my friends, i took a minute break due to exhaustion from the ride and work. nonetheless, my observation was still turned on regarding the two guys and the people around them. i know the people are from up because they are familiar faces and some of them are actually acquiantances. so there's no way that these people are from other schools or outsiders.
the two guys are still talking to one another but they're holding each other's hands this time. indeed, its not a nice view to look at especially if you're single and its valentines day(okay that's my que to stop from there!). the people came back to their businesses but i could sense that they are still in their ackwardest moment. as if they are keeping a volcano from erupting inside. when the two guys parted ways, there goes what i was waiting for.
being the sharpest eavesdropper mankind ever had, i realized their comments were actually parted in two. one was because of their gender. while the other one was regarding decency.
indeed, you could never generalize an entire population just because the majority of it is like this or like that. considering that this is up where people have the tendency to go against what is the norm or what is popular. you couldn't really expect that an UP individual (*which would pertain to faculty, admnin or students) is an activist, an open-minded person or actually even intelligent. but i am not referring this to up alone. but to all universities.
despite the wide array of curricula, class discussions, fora and symposia that the university is conducting almost every month, it just sadden me to know that they are still students who doesn't recognizes the true essence of gender sensitivity. i even remember when i was in my freshmen year in up baguio. we were actually required to attend a gender sensitivity workshop that is for all freshmen students to undertake during their first months stay in the campus. the student should realized that gender sensitivity is not a fad that they are comply to follow with just because they are up students for a specific duration. it is something personal into themselves. i am not saying that they have to accept or tolerate it but atleast try showing respect an individual's preferences.
i must agree, when they've said respect is something gained. but does respect only focused on what other people would think about a person? or does it starts first into oneself and then it radiates fo the public to follow?
this would now, lead us to the next issue of decency. for me decency is a very vague concept. simply because it pertains to something personal to an individual. but paradoxically, it is being determined by other people or the public. from here, questions arise: who determines if a person is decent or not? is decency fixed and permanent or does it varies depending on the place and generation?
i always believed that respect and decency go along interdependently. it starts into one's self. in which, one should learn first to respect and love him/herself and not the identity other people is imposing into him/her. once a person learned to accept who s/he really is, regardless, what other people would think of him/her and as long as s/he doesn't step into other people's faces then i believe s/he would be able carry on with life successfully. for me, these are the people who can be considered decent: people who respects individuality and their selves.