Monday, August 31, 2009

warning: just a warning

nowadays, it could not be denied that its easier to find sex than to look for love. perhaps, because the investment is lesser, gains are more instant and the society is more tolerant and liberal with it compare from before. in addition, men have even devised and still devising various set ups in order to separate sex from love, which has been conservatively paired to each other since time in memorial.

men are resourceful by nature and perhaps that is the same innate attribute that helped us to survive and reigned the natural course of evolution. and i think the same follows, whenever a social evolution kicks off.

when an individual is deprived and repressed from his natural drive, for this instance, sex and love, its inevitable for one to establish a common venue, where people of the same sentiments meet and actualize these needs.

but most of the time, it is not as easy as that. for there will always be those who are outside this circle that will use all possible means to maintain the traditional order of things or just for their own personal advantages.

yesterday, i was smoking outside the college building, waiting for my class to start when my best friend approached me with a surprising news. she told me about this guy who was found dead inside his condo, which happens to be just a block from my place. he received multiple fatal stabs in the chest that caused his death. though the police's initial theory was robbery. since there were a number of items missing. but what was surprising was there were no signs of forced entry, implying that the victim actually knew the killer.

my friends and her colleagues are specualting that this may be another hate crime case against homosexuals; specifically bringing up the issue of the alleged serial killer who is/are targeting gay men in quezon city.

"Around three to four years ago, if I'm not mistaken, several gay men were found dead via multiple stab wounds in their apartments around the Quezon City area. The victims included a fashion designer, TV producer, hair stylist and many others. There were rumors that have remained unconfirmed until now that one of the killer's victims was, in fact, a priest."

personally, i don't believe that there is a gay serial killer on the loose because in believing so, we are promoting panic and not really helping at all. i presume the culprits are different individuals who are targeting the vulnerability of most homosexuals and taking advantage of it.

you see, sometimes, admit or not, regardless of gender, intense sexual urges or taglibog make most of us reckless. mere unprotected sex is already a good indication of this.

again, i am not posting this entry to preach. but just to remind everyone to be at least be cautious. for life is too precious to be wasted by mistakes, that could have been avoided by proper precautions.

*thats it for now, i still have a trip to catch. ciao! ciao!

Friday, August 28, 2009


after almost four months of waiting...

seriously loving it!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

top 10 outcomes after a nasty break up

10. the emo eater

what better way to channel depression than eating? after months or even years of depriving yourself from food; through counting calories, measuring oil consumption, and just munching an imaginary grain, nothing is more rewarding than grabbing a half gallon of ice cream or a humungous block of chocolate, without the words LITE, NON FAT or NO SUGAR in their label.
never thought that true love could cost this much effort.

and if you also noticed, for most new singles, sweets are the top options in the list.


well, duh?! obviously, its to neutralize the bitterness. hahaha!

9. the new hairdo

this is a classic and probably the most immediate thing to do for people who come out from a break up. i remember, i once wondered how come barbershops and salons are such big businesses. eventhough having a haircut is not that expensive compare to other countries.

then i realized three things: first, thats how big the broken hearted population is in the philippines. second, perhaps, thats how fast most people drop their partner off (its as witty as saying your partner is as cheap as a haircut). and lastly, thats how expensive having a divorce in other countries. no wonder we don't have such law, lalo tayong magihirap kapag nagkataon.

8. the bitter

i think this is a give away. but come to think of it, coming from a nasty break up is not always a bad thing. people coming from one happen to have a good chance in becoming either the new charantia endorser or even a good ampalaya substitute. and to top it all, recent studies show people who have quite a number of nasty break ups have a lesser chance of getting diabetes.

the downfall of it on the other hand, is they tend to make your beer awfully bitter. so cover those bottles guys!

7. the sentimental seeker

these are the type of new singles, that you will think are already fine from their break ups. since they are already making scenes and pulling all the attention from a partying crowd. but suddenly, you will just catch them staring at something from you or from other people. then the next thing you know they are already bursting in tears.

"that was the same underwear i gave him! huhuhu...though the garter in that is still tight. but still..." attach more huhuhu's here.

note: such also apply among people, places, animals, gestures, activities, sex, movies, songs, do you still want more? the signs are endless, you know.

6. the network switcher

whenever an unregistered number sends me a message, my immediate reaction is always a big "OMG! who is it this time?"

for some odd reasons, this is one of the most common things most new singles do after their break ups. odd because: first, whats the point of changing your cellphone number if you memorize your ex's number by heart? second, why take all the effort of hiding, if your ex knows where you live, where you work and knows almost all of your friends. besides, you were the one who excitedly introduced him/her to them, right?

and lastly, are you really that conceited to assume that your ex will still contact you for a second chance? dream on! you're the one who cheated asshole!--- okay that was purely me. sorry!

5. the prodigal friend

when you thought s/he is already out from your BFF list in the grounds that s/he never texted, called and even met you up anymore, after tying the commitment knot to that irrationally possesive-paranoid-psycho, here s/he comes crying and asking for your shoulders again. reaffirming completely all the reasons, you've said a million times, why s/he should not commit to that person.
obviously, s/he will be the same person again, afterwards, like the way you used to know him/her. s/he will text, call and meet up with you just like before. you're almost inseparable.

but hey! don't you just drop that wall yet because believe me, there is a big chance that this will happen again anytime soon. so whoever, invented the line, a friend is always there no matter what happens, must probably have friends who doesn't trust him/her at all. or probably, i am just ranting again.

4. the new bob ong disciple

almost a year ago, i have officially tagged bob ong as the ultimate emolord of the philippines (ofcourse, that is next to dabo, who is the ultimate emopotent and jake, who is also diligently climbing the chart), after receiving a large volume of forwarded quotes from his books, even up to now.

interestingly enough, i have also noticed that most of my contacts who keep on forwarding his quotes are either friends who just recently came out from a relationship or friends who are still effing single because they haven't moved on yet, considering it has been years.

now, i wonder, is bob ong already married or atleast have a partner? but what i wonder more is, how tragic his lovestory could be? it could have been more tragic than the hamlet to come up with these what seemed to be hopeless and lovephobic lines. what do you think?

3. the revenging player

i always believe in karma but in the ground that it should be through the natural cycle of life. thus, i disagree to those who live with the line, eye for an eye.
but for some new singles, revenge could actually be sweeter and juicier than their ex's best sex, did i rhyme it right? but the more disturbing part is, if they can't get it from the ex, then they will get it from others.

in other words, instead of sharing the love in the world, they would share the misery of falling, literally falling, just to get even. from there, the vicious cycle goes on.

so for those, who are desperate enough to feed on new singles for the belief that rebounds are easy catch, then think again. for it may be you who are into their bait.

2. sympathy fisher

these are new singles that practically don't do anything exept emitting negativity in a 100 mile radius, worst than the one dropped in nagasaki.

actually, i don't really have problems with such for i understand that this is a natural after effect for anyone who just came out from a relationship also known as bitter after taste.

but sometimes, negativity for breakfast, lunch, dinner and even midnight snack is just extremely exhausting. it drags all the happiness in you to a point that you are already colder than cold cuts, forgotten to be thawed and clueless what the word warm and love means. okay that goes too cheesy.

but if you are a book worm and saw that movie from one to six and looking forward for the last. then probably you already have a good picture what this people looks like. and yes, it starts with the letter D.

1. farewell bloggers

and to wrap things up, i personally decided, to put this one in the top of my list. for almost four years of blogging, i noticed that this is quite rampant among bloggers.

it seemed like its a growing trend among online writers to have their blogs, regardless of what they write, to be somehow the story of their lovelives. the whining feeling of being single through poems eventhough they're such a bad word players, the adventure of dating and even hooking up by either chic writing or eroticism, and the glorifying feeling of finally falling in love just to make their readers envious of what they're having.

but what they didn't know is that once the relationship ended its their blogs that suffer the most.

and ofcourse, that puts his readers down too. but give it a month or so, perhaps a wild imagination of words and associating it to that blogger, you'll see that that blogger already had a new one or probably just took a hiatus for all you know.

well take it from me folks, i know. I JUST KNOW!

so who are you among these? huwag magdeny! hahaha!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

silence: an open letter

there we were, sitting facing each other--- still silent. perhaps, thinking of what to say next or who will have the initiative to open it up.

it was not actually this silence that binded us together. infact, it was the other way around.

i remember, the first time we met. we were feasting upon endless stories about ourselves, the people we know, our elusive dreams, senseless jokes and almost everything under the sky until we end up going home in the wee hours of the morning drunk; not noticing we finished twenty bottles during the entire night.

these were probably the simple reasons that knitted us to each other; worthy and just reasons that made us believe and gave us faith for such possibility.

but when we decided to put what we have to the next step, everything suddenly changed. i started being reserved with my thoughts, cautious with the choice of my words and even anxious with what your reactions will be. in effect, i noticed you beginning to be less enthusiastic and disengage. although the effort is there, as it always is, i just can't help but notice and be bothered with its changes.

have you ever been starstrucked? its somehow the same feeling without any actual celebrity involved, but the person's mere presence absolutely matters. you are stuck where youre standing at. unmindful but definitely conscious, waiting for life to hit you and hoping that the moment you open your eyes again, everything will be the same as before. but who said it will be that easy?

now, the differences between talking to my friends and you, are distinguishly visible. i admit there were moments when i prefer talking to them than spending time with you. not because, i don't enjoy your company but because of the simplest reason that i am scared.

i feared that the choice of my words might bring me to a point of being misunderstood or that i may not be able to hold the meanings and values of my own promises. there were even times when i obliged myself to read what you were thinking. thus, the uncertainty and paranoia it created within me, left me within the solace of my own silence. no wonder i hate confrontations.

its quite ironic how i am able to rationalize things up to its most minute and disregarded details. but when it comes to this, i am just a point blank. then i realized that for a man with stable thoughts, the mystery of his own emotions can be his worst nightmare.

probably, this what makes it special. what makes everything unpredictable, a treasure. and why most people are also scared to take the risk. for its strips you off of all your hesitations to a point where you feel you're already bare and vulnerable. then you tend to cover yourself with what have been its remains. endlessly thinking that either you're giving in to much or you're offering nothing at all. but at the end of it, its funny for we still are hopefuls.

i want you to know, in my simplest way or perhaps the only way, where i can say i am comfortable expressing myself, that now, as i write this entry, i have realized, it is actually not the compatibility that hinders me in becoming the sweetest or perhaps the best person for you, rather its the fear running at the back of my head, saying i might mess up something as precious as this, all over again. but what is more important is that i am working on it, probably, not that perfect but at least with my best.

for three months of knowing each other.


Friday, August 14, 2009

why i enjoy commuting...

seryoso, nagdalawang isip ako baka dito ako nag elementary
set the birds free!!!set them FREE!!!

*promise i'll post something soon! blame it to the gloomy weather.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

the staplest apetite

kapag ang palay naging bigas, may bumayo.
pero kapag ang kanin napanis, tiyak may kumamay.

ganyan daw kacrucial ang seks sa isang relasyon,

it will either make or break you.

ang deep noh?! haha!

*an interesting way of saying how gloomy and boring my day is. sigh!

Monday, August 10, 2009

why i don't go to malate: a different angle

malate is indeed a place of the unexpecteds. it has this distinct characteristic of breaking norms, of opening possibilities and revealing unnoticed realities. its ironic how it promises sudden escapes, decadent fantasies and false hopes despite the evident sullied cloak of striving humanity.

after three years, a friend have finally convinced me to go back to malate last week. i admit, i was really quite hesitant at first. but not because of any downbeat reasons. perhaps, i just find the place not or no longer my turf. but then i thought of giving it a try again.


we were walking down the long and busy saturday stretch of nakpil. I could see the pounding music of every establishment mildly shaking the tables soaked with warm and blinking lights along the sidewalk. men on their tight shirts were calling out passer bys. i must say that they were carefully handpicked for the job. but we decided to have dinner first since the night was still young. when suddenly, we saw a familiar face, it was Y. he was gracious enough to invite us over their table and we were able to convince them to join us afterwards.

but while we were having dinner, I could not help to notice how interesting the place have combined the diversity of people: rich, bourgeois, poor, straight, gay, local, foreigners and the classification could be endless. But malate has this certain magic that dissolved these differences, to a point where everyone could only care less. I am not sure though if this is already acceptance, or tolerance or perhaps it could go as far as sheer apathy. And probably, I am there that night to realize it myself.

the place had a very large crowd that night. but my company told me that it was actually smaller than usual. a number of people approached our table. I could no longer remember there faces. but their begs definitely echoed inside my ears up to this very moment. there were vendors selling almost everything. A woman, probably in her 40s, even offered us to tell our fortunes. there was a father showing us a piece of paper, asking for his son’s medication. a mute who was wearing a two piece bikini and vibrantly dancing to each table for change. a group of children eagerly waiting for our leftovers. Until a familiar woman stood in front of our table, face sunk and cheekbones swollen, her body was the frailest I have ever seen and has a voice that scratches the deepest of our conscience.


now I remember her. she was the same woman in this local show, where they reunite separated relatives. how could I forget? It was her episode that I was moved the most.

when she was young, she abandoned her family in mindanao to look for a greener pasture here in manila. she never wrote to her family and basically cut her communication from them. many years have passed, but her life here in the city went from bad to worst and when she thought she had the nastiest blow, she found out she has cancer. the show’s staff tried to look for her family and bring them back together, only to know that the woman’s mother just recently passed away. while the furious father would not just simply accept her despite her conditions. probably, if I did not see her there in malate that night, it would not occur to me that the staff made them to look that the father finally accepted her, just for the sake of the show.

all I could do that very moment was to look at her as she moved away, carrying a sackful of empty bottles and cans. she approached all occupied tables that night but none of them spare her some change. i could see on her face that she has been numbed with the same blank reaction from people. Then I thought, when all cancer patients are resting and gaining all the strength they can have lying on their beds, she was there in the wee hours of the night getting all the trash and pity she can have to live and staring how life for most people are being enjoyed. i could imagine how horrible that could be.

when another friend arrived we decided to hit the bar. I pulled a couple of bucks from my wallet, with the picture of the woman still in my head. as I hand it over to the doorman, i then realized, how happiness could cost that much. how we can have the most advantage and benefits in life while some simply don’t no matter how they strive. and lastly, how decadence can make me realize all these.

as we entered the place, I was surprised how dark and many people were inside. it was an explosion of senses: the ear popping music, the humid, clashing sweating bodies and probably a hundred of faces that welcomed us, as we made our way inside. I only had three bottles that night, stripping almost all my hesitations with a friend and just allowing the spirit of the place, succumb me. but at the end of it all, as I was riding a cab home, beating the sun rise, i realized that life in malate was not really what’s inside its bars rather whats outside of it.

Now, I know why I don’t go to malate anymore, because in a way it reminds me of how my life was before. true enough, malate is a destination of escape to many, while a place of hope to some.

well, enough said.

i will just leave the rest to the mind of the master.hahaha. wink! wink!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

yes, another cory post

freedom and democracy
are the most over used words of the day.
yet i still dont feel it.
but who am i to say this, if what i have done and doing
is nothing
in comparison with what she have achieved.

we might have our own different stands
when it comes to her,
what she have done,
and what she was as a leader.
but one thing i am sure,
same reason why i am posting this,
because despite the CARP,
the billion dollar debts that she could have lifted
and even the hacienda luisita massacre,
she was the only person,
woman for that matter,
i felt that the majority of the filipino people
have united,
for just a day;
and even just for
that simple reason.


corazon conjuanco-aquino.
(january 25, 1933 to August 1, 2009)