Monday, March 19, 2012

compilations: 15 gloomiest entries

15. on thinking and moving (please click the title for the actual post)

solitary, color pen and paper
02/08/08

the face that i wore for each day i struggled to see you--- i never lose myself to desperation.


"freedom"
ink & paper
012308

sa alaala,
doon ka nagsimula

isang buwan, isang linggo
at tatlong araw
ang gunita mo'y patuloy na umaalingangaw


"in the eyes of a stalker"
ms paint
12/18/2006

moving on is not a matter of forgetting, rather its the process of coming up with simple acceptance and empty memories.

caution
ink and paper
september 2009

they talked a lot of things along the way, probably the lengthiest conversation they had for the day. they talked about work, family, taking responsibilities and materializing dreams. for a moment, K felt that they are no longer kids anymore. but what made him moved was the fact that they never really talked about the past, their experiences before, or what was between them--- exactly a decade ago, on one of those humid summer nights, when their raging confusions rushed and engulfed them.

if K can only wish life to be seen in both perspectives just like in the movies.

K bet it will make living a little less complicated.

if only...

chasing time
ink and paper
october 2009

it was that night ,
when i thought that the silence between us will be clearer
but when you stood up from bed the next day,
without looking back,
i then realized that it was still a dream that i kept on believing at


outside this building
ink and paper
05/24/2009

minsan, hindi mahalaga kung sino ang taong nananakit sa atin, ang mas importante ay kung bakit natin hinahayaang masaktan tayo.


latak
paper and color pencil
041408

sometimes, even the stars in a clear moonless night is not enough to cradle you to sleep. neither a kiss nor a hug would assure you of tomorrow. for even the most genuine romance falls short to spell out certainty.




paglalakbay
(the journey)
ink & paper
111808

we hammer promises with our imperfections, we break them into pieces because of our shortcomings. but at the end, its our own guilt that eats us.




"blue and happy"
oil on canvas with etching
16"x24"
june 20, 2007

minsan tuloy naisip ko, sa ganitong buhay hindi ko na alam kung ano ang mas dapat, ang maging malandi pero panandalian o maging matino pero iniiwan?


"been there, done that"
8"x 11.5"
crayon etching
january 15, 2008

probably, this what makes it special. what makes everything unpredictable, a treasure. and why most people are also scared to take the risk. for its strips you off of all your hesitations to a point where you feel you're already bare and vulnerable. then you tend to cover yourself with what have been its remains. endlessly thinking that either you're giving in to much or you're offering nothing at all. but at the end of it, its funny for we still are hopefuls.


" fantasya"
ms paint
010207
last night i dreamed of you--- again

then i suddenly realized that

you will always be the memory

that i will perpetually fall in love with...

until the day the apparition of the prophecy

stands in front of me.

at the end, ink & paper, february 2008

no one really said that being young assures us of not getting hurt. in fact, it is actually on that condition that leave us most vulnerable. hence, never be scared of falling because it is on that dive where the real life starts.


ugnayan
(relation)
etching
09/15/2008
never stay in a relationship only because of time, memories, assurance nor of promises. stay because of no other reason rather than you want to, or better yet, you need to; for the feeling of staying and growing with that person is really what that counts.


underneath the bed
ink and paper
06/28/2009

never stay in a relationship only because of time, memories, assurance nor of promises. stay because of no other reason rather than you want to, or better yet, you need to; for the feeling of staying and growing with that person is really what that counts.

for those who have hold their silence forever
ink and paper
01/07
its funny how the place reminded me of J so much. though i dont remember us being here before. the place was deserted. there were a pair of bowing angels made in cold concrete, tainted broken glass panes, and an empty bench under a weeping tree.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

change

i feel guilty whenever i visit my blog and recall all the memories i used to write in it.

i feel guilty because its not as active as it was before.

i feel sad for my recent entries for they seemed forced.

just to have something to post.

i feel sad when i write something in it just because i feel down.

funny, how change makes you realize how you are so not ready for it, after crying so long for it to happen before.

well i guess, now, i have more reasons to write again--- to write for this change, and the change to change this change.

*now, feeling better.