Tuesday, July 28, 2009

are you insecure? then listen to this...

who cares if you are short?
if you are obese?
who cares if you are ugly and full of acne?

who cares if your still single?
if your jobless?
who cares if s/he dumped or left you?

because the truth is,

no one really cares

for the only person who overrate it,

is YOU.

i bumped into this video and basically, it touched me. hopefully, it will move you too.

if your internet's not that fast? then follow it through this:

everybody has their insecurities about themselves.
insecurities about your personality,
about where you come from,
about your family,
about your friends,
about people's perceptions of you,
about what you do,
about what you look like...
our challenge is to overcome all these insecurities
if they don't really mean anything.

i'm insecure about many things,
some of which include
my body.

i'm a short guy,
five feet, four inches,

but for the past two years
i've been working hard
working out
and i think its paid of

i may be
a short guy,
and i may not be the sexiest guy,

but two years has
given me a body that i am proud of

the thing is,
i may have worked out a lot,
like the narcissistic fool that i am

but it doesn't take away all my insecurites.

i am still scrawny guy, and you really can see it
when you look at my ribcage.
you'll notice that i shaved my armpits in the same way that european guys around my gym do
because here in europe that's the common thing, and feel the peer pressure not to be hairy
i got surgical scars,
one right here; its a discoloration on my right arm.
and i've got other scars.
i've got scars here,
because when i was a teenager
i got acne down there
that can happen.
basically, it looks like i've got the state of hawaii right there and guam right there.

i ate a bag of chips for dinner the other day and i ate half a bag of chips today and because of that...

that type of thing doesn't help me get my abs that i want
i never go to sleep enough
you can see the bags under my eyes.
i don't drink enough water
i got a unibrow,
i have to pluck it
and i still have acne.
so i'm insecure,

and when you're naked

you feel especially vulnerable.

most people they aren't gonna see,
all your imperfections
they aren't going to see your scars
under normal situations
most poeple i can deflect from
what i think are my own imperfections
because i'll cover them up
with my clothes.
i'll cover them up with my jokes.
i'll cover them up with my personality.
i'll cover them up with working too hard.
i'll cover them up by being too nice to them
so that they can't see what's wrong with me
and that's how i overcome my insecurities;
by hiding them.

ultimately, i don;t think
i can't get rid of my scars
and if i really want to find somebody
who can accept all of me --- romantically
or otherwise -
then i'm going to have to find someone who doesn't mind my imperfections.


is a challenge, but it requires me

to just let some things go.

so still insecure?

OF COURSE, you still are.

for changing it is a process and not something that you can do over night.

but what is important, is that you just don't use these as an excuse.

Monday, July 27, 2009


when it comes to relationship, being faithful, for me, can be qualified into two definitions. first, is the typical monogamy stuff that everyone dreams of having from their partners but keeps on messing up with themselves. and lastly, it is simply how clean you deal your side dishes from the person you have promised yourself to.

i confess father. i was one hell of an unfaithful. i had this instantaneous thinking with people i met before and dared to cross the line after having a steamy sex, that if i am not even faithful with my religion, who the hell are they to demand it from me? thus, i never entertained the word commitment.

i dunno, commitment is such a big and heavy word. its like receiving a cat from your parents although what you asked is a goldfish. perhaps, its all because of the expectations and responsibilities you have to meet. although you know deep inside that they are just burdens you get from watching and reading too much romance stories or they are just residuals from your childhood out of listening to too much fairytales that in a way, find itself in your subconscious due to a phenomenon called dreaming.

most of us, always dream of happy endings. so we keep track of these tough and vigorous regimes to be worthy of such prize, only to know that at the end, all of us are just sluts with morals.
commited relationship is plain mediocracy: a confirmation of our selfishness and an eraser of our insecurities. while faithfulness, on the otherhand, serves as the most effective arguement ever.

but unlike being faithful, trust is more liberating but at the same time it is selfless and unconditional, which i believe every relationship should be. although both may go hand and hand, most people over define exclusivity. we set too many rules: you should be this, you should be that until you realize that you are no longer the same person. you are love not because of who you are rather what they want you to be. thus, we feel box, easily get burn then break up.

for me, relationship is there for people to mutually grow, to realize their potentialities and not to seclude themselves from the rest of the world. when we love someone it doesn't mean that they are already ours. for they are not objects that can be possessed. they are individuals subject with their own beingness.

call me pessimistic. but id rather be practical than drown myself with the false idealism of romance. perhaps because i believe that there is a big possibility for a sheltered relationship to produce rebellious outcomes. its like the harder you grip, the more they would want to let go. but ofcourse, it would still depend upon the personalities involved.

please don't get me wrong. in saying all of these i am absolutely not promoting infidelity. for i still believe that trust should be taken with responsiblity, depending on the set up that the parties have agreed upon and not as an excuse for our petty and irrational desires.

in the end, i think trusting the person you love enables them to be who they really are and what they want to be, free from our own prints. at the same time, it strenghtens the relationship for in such way it assures us that we love the person no matter who they are and what the outcome will be.

i remember someone once asked me, why is it okay for you to allow D to go to places such as M? don't you feel threatened that D may fool around?

i looked at him and said, no. simply because i trust D in the same way he trust me. (see? it even rhymes.)

haaay, finally, the rain stop.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

something to ponder about

A bunch of people get the Swine Flu and everybody wants to wear a mask. A million people have AIDS and no one wants to wear a condom

-Kat N., a wonderful friend

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

the party

unlike the last time, there were no balloons, although we planned to (purple and white actually). mom was not there to cook for me, so i cooked pesto for us and who would forget the fabulous chocolate fondeu. but what i like about that day was, i finally had guests.

the last time i celebrated my birthday was when i was seven. i basically had all the dish i wanted: lechon, cakes, ice cream of two different flavors, spaghetti, buttered drumsticks and chocolate lollipops. it was the only birthday celebration i had, so its hard to forget. aside from the fact that i had everything the way i wanted them to be: the balloons, the games and prizes, everything. except for one, i had no guests: friends for that matter.

when we were young, we were probably the first family who lived in a condo. our place was on the top of a commercial building somewhere in caloocan. i actually have a plan of tracing and going back there someday.

we were alone on that floor. so we never had friends. when we moved in a subdivision in malabon, my mom forbade us to go outside since we were near a community. my mom, as the usual her, was always anxious that we might get into trouble if we play with other children. so i usually found myself playing with my siblings or staring outside our terrace looking at other children happily playing. when we moved to bicol when i was in highschool, it was pretty much the same. we still have no friends since our house is standing in the middle of the centro. surrounded by the town hall, basketball court, health center, church, park, multi purpose hall, and seminary. the next residential house is probably a couple of blocks away from us. so i confess, those were probably the first moments i was introduced to the word envy. see jinjin, you were not the only person who had bad childhood.

but everything changed after i went to baguio. gaining friends back then was actually a conscious effort on my part. nonetheless, the trauma of throwing a birthday party was still there until last week.

a couple of friends and i, who are celebrating our birthdays on the same month, decided to throw a party. at first, we were so enthusiastic about the idea. we even planned it almost a month in advance and we were even planning it at the mediocre's coffee shop in cubao. but at one point. jepoi and i were already having second thoughts of pushing it because of some quite complicated turn of events. but we gathered all the courage we could squeeze out and still pursued it.

then here comes, the actual date, a day before odin's actual birthday. we already had the suite reserved, two hours to do the groceries and then a couple of more hours to cook and prepare everything. we were all cramming. those were the rare times you wish for the filipino time to happen. as usual the introvert, who from what i have heard is always the first guest to arrive, arrived. then three more guests: a jumping herbivore, a doctor and a future lawyer. then everyone just followed: two came in white, from new zealand and the other one was from north pole. the entire badminton team came in as well together with a bitch. while a princess and a loverboy followed. even the supremes paid a visit. then finally, three more partygoers and a culturati catched up. this is the problem if you have friends who prefer to be anonymous. hahaha!

the party started silently. we never knew firstcomers are introverts too. no wonder i am always on time. but when the clock hit midnight, everyone just transformed radically. the wine, vodka, tequilla, gin and beer poured like raging flash flood. and people i never imagined dancing just grooved their things and made the floor happy. it was already 6 in the morning when the party ended. though we never thought that the real hardship was just about to begin. the suite was a total wreck! i was even at the point that i don't want to leave the room anymore, scared that the hotel staff would just charge for all the mess we have done.

nonetheless, we arrived home safely, penniless but with a smile on our faces. i just can't thank enough those people who came. but i am grateful to all of you for atleast erasing the trauma i had when it comes to throwing parties.

i just can't wait for next year, bring it on quarter life crisis!


thanks poi and dabo for crossing out another list: enchanted kingdom!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

the bitter sweet fruit

what if one day, you woke up about to harvest the fruits of your labor, when you realized that you were actually staring at a wrong tree? and to make things worst, what if the fruits that you were expecting to be sweet were actually bitter, would you still dare to take a bite?

i met fifth early this year through a common friend. he was your typical boy next door, has a very innocent face that hides his age and a body that would turn any sobber person intoxicated with their own desires. no wonder, i had this immediate impression that he is a player.

but i was actually corrected when i had the chance to sit down and talked with him over a cup of coffee. fifth confessed to me, how he struggled to be what he is now. he was never born with such perfection rather he grew up being ridiculed and pushed over for having too many flaws and just boringly ordinary. but what surprised me the most was the fact that he has never been in a relationship: neither in a serious or flirtatious one.

no one really took him seriously before because of these. thus, it pushed him in making himself attractive. he worked out almost everyday, bravely carried all his burdens and bought all possible brands that promised him all the good stuffs for many years. eventually, he felt something different for people started treating him differently.

for a moment, he felt that everyone became very interested with him. and it didn't take him long until he finally saw himself in the dating scene. he dated almost endlessly. but surprsingly, at the end of his dates, he couldn't stop himself from asking why he couldn't settle to any one of them. until he met G.

Among all the dates he went out with, G was the only person he felt both the attraction and connection with. they typically share the same interest and passion with almost everything. and probably to top it all, it was only with G that he felt that weird, ackward but romantic silence, that kept him from seeing G over and over again.

when fifth was finally sure of what he felt and thought of already settling down, it was just then that it was confessed to him that G was already committed to someone else. nonetheless G is still more willing to be with him.

G promised fifth, given the chance, G can break up and leave Gs partner for him. but this was something fifth could not go beyond. although love for him was something he longed to have, he told himself, he could not love on the expense of another person's hurt. for he perfectly knows how it felt like. thus, he chose to move back despite all the effort and hurt he has to endure.

as we separated that day, i really felt bad for fifth. but what actually counted was the admiration i developed for him after hearing his story.

in a way, it reminded me of one of my favorite stories (that was also coincindentally reminded to me recently by an acquaintance), dead stars. it was a lovestory about a man who have waited for the woman of his life for many long years just to realize that he didn't actually love the woman anymore when she finally met her: rather what she loved was the feeling of falling inlove with her before.

for most of us, we live under the impression that the purpose of living is to have someone to live with: to hold hands with whenever we need one, to have someone sleeping under our arms each morning whenever we wake up for the rest of your life. thus, people living with these ideas are missing alot with life.

i believe that life should be driven with multiplicity of purposes and not with love alone, that love is just a part of a giant structure and not equated to life as a whole.

in addition, love is not something that can be manipulated, controlled nor harvested. it comes spontaneously and varies in context. it is a natural feeling that each of us needs to nurture by the moment it comes. but should not hinder us from being who we are and can be by its absence.

above all these, i personally believe that romantic love can also be something that not everyone is blessed with. yes, as depressing as it may sound, this is the sad truth i have realized about life. perhaps because i think that instead of locking myself inside my room, brewing hopelessness, helplessness and loneliness out of being single, i should divert this lackness into someone else instead: to my family, friends, or other people perhaps.

life doesn't stop from the absence of a partner. so we should never pause either. we should always move forward for life would not wait for us. it will still continue revolving even without us.

perhaps, the main point that i am driving at is love is not only about the sweet flesh and pulp but also its bitter seeds. and above all, one should love for its blessed presence rather than loving the image we built out of its absence.

currently. fifth is still working as a writer for an advertising company. although he didn't close his door from dating other people, he diverted his focus in saving for a house that he intends to give to his parents instead. he admits that he still thinks of G sometimes and that the pain still lingers, especially at times when he finds himself alone.

but he told me, he is trying to channel that hurt into something else. something that can make him stronger and who knows, perhaps, one of this days, he will just wake up realizing that the fruit he has, is not that bitter after all.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

ang natatanging alaala

Araw-araw, inaabangan ko ang kanyang pagdaan sa harap ng aming bahay.
At tama nga ako. Napakasarap ng kanyang laway.

dagli or short fiction is a form of literature, briefly narrating a story.

ano sa tingin niyo ang kwento?

Monday, July 13, 2009

tres panalos

a few weeks back, i posted something regarding a newly launched movement called TXTMATES. the group advocates equitable mobile market for cellular service consumers.

recently, the national telecommunication committee acted upon the ongoing issues of mobile carriers by extending the effectivity period of phone load credits. in addition, smart already launched its unlimited call service, which is considered as one of the good starts of the movement.

soon, globe and other mobile carries will also launch their counterpart for this one, as part of the market competition, an act that they should have done way back.

something i could be proud of for in my own ways i have been part of this movement.

all you need to do is to show your support guys. click here!


free theater play ticket. make a review. win zenzest gift packs, sinta and rene villanueva books and bilog cd... what more can you ask for?! salamat gibbs! you're the man, zobrah!


me: what would you suggest for someone who has colds?
JL: have you tried irish latte?
me: not yet. alright, give me a large one.
JL: pause... sir erik?
me: *blush, speechless* yes.

JL knows my name! HAHAHAHA!

but wait there's more...

thanks for giving your heart/s to me, JL!


peace ODIN!!! hahahaha!

three victories to start my week, not bad! keep them coming please!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

ang muling pagbisita ng mga pantasya


lahat naman tayo ay nabubuhay sa pantasya. walang buhay at katotohanan kung wala ito.

Yan ang nagbigkis sa Virgin Labfest 4: Revisited, tatlong piling mga dula mula noong nakaraang taon na sinama muli sa kasalukuyang lupon:

ang kalungkutan ng reyna
sa panulat at direksyon ni floy quintos

kung hindi ka mapraning paggising mo isang araw, na tanging ang version lang ni judy garland ng somewhere over the rainbow ang naririnig mo sa lahat ng istasyon ng radyo, aba ditse, icheck mo na ang ID mo at baka sumapi ka na pala sa katawan ng isang certain Yolanda Cadiz, ang Queen Ruler of the Kingdom of Mayee, Duchess of the twin dukedom of Moncada and Paniqui, Tarlac.

lost ba kayo?
basically, ito ang pantasya ni Yolanda Cadiz. ang palitan ng monarkiya ang demokrasya, gawing batayan ng ating GNP at GND ang beauty at fashion. at ang indikasyon ng pag-unlad ay nakabatay sa decadent expenditures ng ating bansa.

kahit kailan, hindi ako nahilig sa fashion at music. hindi din ako madaling turuan pagdating dito. forte ko ang international and national histories, politics and policies, kaya naman labis ang paghanga ko ng mapanuod ang dulang ito.

hindi madaling pagsamahin ang dalawang extremely opposite subjects, kala mo ba. kaya naman masasabi kong well-researched, politically rigid but aesthetically crafted ang kwento. ganapan pa ng dalawang primyado at hinahangaang mga aktor sa entablado. kaya naman isa lang ang masasabi ko: kokonsensyahin ka sa panunuod nito dahil higit pa sa kulang-kulang 200 pisong binayad mo ang dulang ito.

may bonus ka pang LSS (last song syndrome) ng somewhere over the rainbow, yung version ni judy garland ha?!

uuwi na ang nanay kong si darna
halaw ni job pagsibingan at direksyon ni catherine racsag

may theory ako na solid vilmanian ang sumulat ng dulang ito. for it has this coniving feeling na ang naging inspirasyon ng dula ay pinaghalong mga remakes ni ate V's Darna chronicles noong 1970s at touch ng pelikulang Anak noong 2000.

Magkagayon man, it actually makes perfect sense.

sa panahon ngayon, tinuturing na supertao ang pagiging isang OFW. kapalit ng malaking (o malaki nga ba?) sweldo ay ang pagganap sa isang mabigat na trabaho, mapalayo sa pamilya at ang mag-isa sa isang bansang alien sa iyo. dagdagan mo pa ng realisasyong, pinagsisilbihan mo ang iba't ibang mga tao, maliban sa sarili mong pamilya. kaya naman hindi na bago para sa atin ang mabalitaang may mga OFW na bumabalik ng bansa either baliw o nakabalikbayan crates na. because the job requires superhuman patience, hardwork at sanity.

kung titignan, may facade ang kwento na maging mababaw. at kung mababaw kang tao, lulutang ka lang sa facade na iyon. but if you'll dig deeper, maiintindihan mong ang pagiging satiriko ng dula ay kinakailangan upang matago ang isang napakalaking bomba ng katotohanan na naghihitay lamang sumabog sa harapan ng kanyang manunuod.

all in all, ang dula ay short pero all encompassing, brief pero hitik na hitik, at higit sa lahat realistic bagamat umiikot lamang sa pantasya ng isang musmos na makita muli ang kanyang inang OFW--- ang nanay niyang si darna.

ang bayot, ang meranao at ang habal-habal sa isang nakababagot na paghihintay sa kanto ng lanao del norte
panulat ni rogelio braga at direksyon ni nick olanka

simple lang naman ang pantasya ng bayot. ang mapakinggan siya, seryosohin at hindi ituring na mahina.
madali ding maunawaan ang pantasya ng meranao. gusto lang niyang hindi katakutan, siya'y igalang at pagkatiwalaan alinsunod sa kanilang maratabat.
at mas lalo na ang habal-habal. pantasya lang niyang masakyan, makapagbalanse sa gilid ng bangin at marating ang kailangan puntahan.
subalit ang mga ito ay sandaling nanatiling pantasya sa kantong iyon ng lanao del norte. dahil kinailangan pa nilang pagtalunan ang mga ito upang lubos na maunawaan ang kani-kanilang mga kaibahan.

napakanatural ng mga batuhan ng linya. at madalas makikita mo ang sariling napapailag din sa mga ito. siguro dahil alam mong kapag tinamaan ka siguradong masakit. dahil lahat naman tayo may biases, may judgment sa kapwa at higit sa lahat, lahat tayo kailangan lang mapakinggan at makinig. sa kabilang banda, umayon din ang kanilang mga adlib upang mapatampok ang kanilang talino at versatility bilang mga aktor sa entablado.

at sa pagtatapos, kahit nagpapaltos na ang pwet mo sa upuan at sumasayad na ang iyong nipples sa iyong tiyan (dahil sa kawalan ng masasandalan), iisipin mo pa din na sana magtagal pa ang palabas. dahil dito kahit papaano nakikita mong nagkakatotoo ang mga pantasya mo, kahit sandali, kahit malayo sa katotohanang naghihintay sa iyo sa paglabas mo ng entablado.


photo sources:

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

the stage

she slowly lowered her hips and gracefully grind it to mine. then she neared her topless body on my sweating face. i could see her nipples from that distance. they were as hard and smooth as seashore pebbles that reminded me of the young ladies from our province splashing in the morning tide.

i wondered what is her name? her real name? where she came from? where she is living? and hows her life before and after this?

she then found her position above my lap and guided my hands towards her smooth back and slided it right on her behind. i could tell she have been doing this for quite sometime now. but what stuck me the most was the strong foundation scent on her body, that reminded me of my grandma who used to wear the same scent as she goes to church every dusk five years ago before she died.

then, she lightly pressed her breast on my bleeding cheeks as it revealed what she was hiding beneath her skin. if she have pressed it a little harder, i could have already loss my lips.

i then recalled the first girl i have laid my lips almost a decade ago. i know i was stil young and immature back then. but now, recalling it, i am proud to say that it was atleast the purest kiss i ever gave and received from someone.

suddenly she removed my glasses and tossed it to the air. for a moment i felt i was sharing the same bareness with her. she moved her way above me, body still touching each other. she was already a couple of feet above my head: standing on my seat and legs wide apart, when she revealed to me what everyone came for.

the crowd screamed. but i was still partly clueless for what will happen. all i know was my heart roared like it never did before. then i saw her pelvis coming. it was something that i didn't expect since we didn't get the vip room and just sat on the regular couch. i took a deep breath as if making a big plunge into something unknown. the cheering grew louder when she rapidly humped her behind right on my face. it was a complete shut down, i tell you. until she jumped off the couch and danced her way back to the stage. then she stared back at me. on that moment, she was no longer smiling, no more suggestive look neither a tempting grin. all i saw was just a blank and emotionless face that somehow told me a lot of stories about her.

suddenly, rapid flashes of images of my mom flew across my head. i knew that stare was familiar. until i realized that it was the same set of eyes that my mom used to give me whenever she pays me a visit here in manila and leaves back to bicol the next day. then i wondered if she has kid/s as well and if she gives the same stare before she goes here every night.

the night went through with more women dancing. most were topless. while some gathered all there courage to go out completely naked. you could see among everyone outside the stage that they were dying with their own anticiaptions. but for me it was more questions and more stories to contemplate.

until she finally came out of the darkness again. this time, she was covering her breast and vagina. she has this innocent stare, that just made everyone flying with their imaginations. they were completely out of their touches, not because of the alcohol they were drinking all night but rather with the sight infront of them.

then the next thing that happened was unexpected she dived right down with a split, lowered her breast until it touched the floor, pointed her finger to her lips, then acted as if she didn't have a clue of what happened. i honestly loss count of how many bottles i have drunk. all i could remember was i emptied half of my bottle in one gulp. then i thought, such desperate move might be calling for something really big.

when the music ended, almost 30 ladies came out and piled infront of the stage with number tags hanging on their bikinis. then the dj started talking and bargaining. everyone gave their best smiles and poses. for a moment, i felt like i am inside a market looking at the best catches for the day. as numbers were announced, each of the girls came down the stage and went to their respective tables. i was dead scared with the thought that one of my friends might ask for one as well. fortunately, they didn't.

when the time finally ran out, only five girls were left and one of them was her, standing on that almost empty stage. their smiles were no longer as wide as they had it earlier. but it wasn't clear what kind of emotion they were wearing.

nonetheless, for me, it was actually mixed emotions. i was happy because this would mean that they will be going home early that morning and atleast live the life away from this for the rest of their day. on the other hand, i felt sad for them, specifically to her, because afterall she have done for the entire night, she will be going home with thousands lesser than the rest of the girls. meaning, more nights to endure before she could actually save and live the life she really wanted.

after we called it a night and parted ways, i then realized that this experience just affirmed the feminist in me, and most especially the humanity in me.

if only people can just read stories behind whats actually infront of them, then perhaps, we can be more of the mirons than we are now.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Falling (In/Out of) Love

*disclaimer: this post is not related with my personal life... defensive?! hahaha! i thank you!

recently, i have realized that falling out of love is probably the most difficult reason in breaking up. it is hard to explain since words fail simply because you can't concretize your reasons. there is even no perfect analogy to bring it up for the thought of it is as abstract as the origin of the relationship itself. some even wish that is caused by another person, a fatal mistake or lack on either party. for such it is easier explained than elaborating something that you have already lost or even haven't acquired in the first place.

You were the dream I hoped to see whenever I wake up before.

imagine. you waking up one morning, thinking that things are no longer working out for the both of you anymore. we could actually atest to this, for atleast once in our lives, somehow this had happened. you are no longer happy neither growing with your partner. and worst, you see your relationship more of a burden rather than something you enjoy and value. it can happen so fast that you don't even have the chance to prepare yourself for it.

We promised to break barriers and to make a difference. It was a smile of relief.

but the point of the matter is, how would you bring it up to your partner? would you think s/he would clearly understand the idea if you'll just simply lay your cards on the table and say that you don't love him/her anymore? would you even consider this as a fair game between the both of you? because of the simple reason, that such thing happens and feelings can abruptly fade away?

yes, there is such a thing as falling out of love. and sadly, this can also happen to anyone of us especially at times when expectations are not met or the spice, challenge and even the thrill is no longer present in the relationship. inshort, no one is excempted. it is only us who creates either the prevention or cure for it.

Ganun lang ba talaga kadaling bumitaw?

i believe that the mind works in a very complicated way and so is our emotions. usually, when the emotion is confuse, it is actually our rationality that attends to it: identifies, elaborates, interprets and even decides. on the other hand, when it is our mind that fails us, we resort to our instincts in order to come up with a decision. but what if both shut down in the middle of nowhere, is there a part in us that serves as a back up for them?

this is where the problem arises.

Alam ko'ng mahirap din ito para sa iyo.

all species copes in order to survive regardless how sensible or harsh the means could be. but in this case, most of the times, the ends don't necessarily justify the means.

for some, they resort in engaging with other people in order to suffice the need. ontheotherhand, realizing the value of his/her partner or perhaps to truly discover one's self.

while some don't have the guts to be honest. so they are force to hurt their partners in order for them to cultivate anger, making detachment much easier.

but for most of these people, the process of composing and verbalizing the actual thought of falling out of love is very difficult that they usually end up either paralyzed or short tounged with the idea of confessing: for the feeling of absence is abstract.

to wrap things up, falling out of love is nobody's fault. just like any unexpected things in our lives, it emerge at times when we least expect them: when our guards are down and we are in our most vulnerable state. thus, it is more hurtfully difficult.

for me, it is inevitable for someone to get hurt once s/he entered a relationship. if you don't want to inflict or get hurt, then its better not to fall inlove at all.

such actions will never be enough to define who or what a person is. people will always have their own judgement over others simply because of a certain story, from who and how they've heard it. thus, making it their story.

Salamat at Sayang...

at the end, all of us are slaves of our own motivations, desires, dreams and happiness. but the saddest part of it, is when we realize we are actually serving no one.