Sunday, May 31, 2009
but for most of us, who are like any students that dislike math, we (myself included ofcourse) are forced to study, analyze and understand it more than how it is shown and in effect it becomes complicated for us.
and like any relationships, if we put so much thought on it, to the point that its inevitable to miss the part that we are already over analyzing and confuse things up, its the time it gets complicated.
for me, i believe that not because you are different from the rest and the rest don't understand and deem you complicated because you are different, life should be difficult too.
life is a no brainer, so take it lightly.
-my egocentric and confident self having coffee with my passive and pessimistic self while i am sleeping. hence, i was not invited.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
"after the first kiss?"
"as soon as possible," a friend and i chorally answered.
honestly, i was also surprised with my response. for after months and months of contemplating everything about it, i couldn't believe that i would be able to finally draw out a spontaneous answer, which usually take me a long time before.
it all begun in that party. in the middle of free flowing booze and beer-soaked pizza and tacos, someone threw out that question. but in all fairness, despite the loud band music and everyone busily minding their own businesses..."ehem"... businesses, it successfully got every body's attention.
for the first time, i was overwhelmed with the fact that after a long time of avoiding the topic, i was actually caught off guardedly sitting on a table of several people openly talking about it; and was able to engage myself on such discussion. for most of the time, i would either asked to change the topic or just keep quiet until we move on to the next.
"is it really that easy?," he asked.
"well for me, if someone who is positive won't be able to own it, then how much more will he expect the person he is dating to accept that fact?" i answered, " i think if you really like the person, what he has shouldn't really define who he is. on the other hand, when it comes to that, i believe that there are actually a hundred ways to actualize it without getting infected. in the first place, it shouldn't really all about that, right?"
a sudden pause engulfed us. then he softly lifted and moved the topic as if a plate of nachos to his friend sitting beside him.
"well, i just don't get it why people like him, who is so faithful to his partner despite my efforts to sway him to cheat around would actually get it?"
then there was another silence. suddenly, i saw his friend rebutting something out of what he have said but i failed to catch it.
nonetheless, my night fast forwarded with what he said. then, i taught how wide the possibilities can be, how large the chances are and just because of one or a number of mistake, something will inevitably change.
so much for change being the only constant thing in life, huh?!
Friday, May 29, 2009
but last night, a blogger friend invited me over to this blogger party sponsored by philips. though i rarely go out of my box, i decided to check it out since its near my place. it was my first online party event ever, so i felt a certain ackwardness at first. but later on found my space when the "informal" party begun.
after the small talk, it was a great surprise when suddenly one of the organizers handed each of us a bag of goodies and i honestly didn't expect my first going-to-be-mp3 player inside.
it was a 4gb philips gogear sparks with their well-celebrated full sound technology. basically, it was just a small but hip box that would fit in to anyone's pocket. it also has a short usb cord for file transfering and usb charging, making it more convenient, cord friendly and portable for anyone on the go.
so what is the full sound technology?
geek mode transform...
well, based from what i understood, when we upload or download music files from one device to another, certain sound details are compressed and most of the time get lost, in order to adjust to our devices' formats. in effect, sound quality is comprimised. but with this technology, it promises to bring back those details as if they were fresh from the recording studios to fully suit our individual musical cravings.
then i remembered, what a belgian attendee raised during the talk, "so what? as long as i'll be able to listen to my songs clearly, it will be perfectly fine for me." well, come to think of it, she actually has a good point.
for us, commoners, who are mostly not that tech savy nor keen to sound details but comprises the massive bulk of potential buyers, we actually careless. as long as we'll be able to listen clearly to what we want to hear, it will definitely work for us.
but since, i happen to have all the time in the world after resigning from my previous work, i tried checking it out for myself.
for me, i give it 3 and a half out of five stars.
sound quality, songs are relatively crispier, clearer and noiseless compare to other players i have listened to. so this is what full sound is all about.
i also like the album art feature, where you can actually upload and personalize the screensaver with your own pictures.
very, very portable. though in second thought, its on the verge of being not burara--clumsy-malilimutin-friendly like me.
needs improvement in terms of navigation--- i find it very difficult navigating the player because of its pseudo touch screen feature, where you could actually feel the buttons underneath the screen. thus, one needs perfect timing and probably balance in order to go to the menu s/he wants to go.
nonetheless, as what ive said, as long as i can listen my music, it will be just fine for me, atleast for now.
but hey i am just writing one version of the actual product and this is just another part of me trying to be a tech writer out of my bumness.
for additional info, check this site: http://pcworld.com.ph/philips-gogear-lets-you-enjoy-your-music-on-the-move/
and they also have an upcoming event where they are inviting upcoming local bands all around the country for battle of the band called bandwidth in bonifacio high street this june 6, 2009. for interested parties, you can check this site for further details: http://philipsbandwidth.blogspot.com/
Sunday, May 24, 2009
salamat din sa marinara pasta mong sadyang napakasarap for a beginner's luck at crinave ko bigla paggising ko.
Friday, May 22, 2009
subalit maliban dun, naging surreal ang panaginip--- cryptic. masaya, in other words. may complete arching rainbow ang langit at in full bloom ang mga bulaklak sa new found lihim na hardin. may mga ilang paru-parong nagpabaliktad sa aking sikmura at sumuka din ako ng pinaghalong mga dyamante at mangilan-ngilang burak sa sahig.
nito lang nang naisip ko, dalawa lang ang mukha ng pagiging seryoso. ang una ay karuwagan sa pagsasabi ng totoo sa taong gusto mo at ang huli ay ang mga kahulugang nakatago sa sulat na ito.
*try niyong habaan ang tulog niyo, baka dalawin din kayo ng panaginip na ganito.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
sapagkat kung tutuusin ang bawat kwento ay walang bida o kontra bida dahil ang bida ay kung sino ang gusto mong gawing bida at ganoon din kung sino ang gusto mong kontrabida.
walang masama o mabuti, walang api o inaapi. lahat inaapi, lahat nang aapi at lahat nagpapaapi.
kaya para sa kanya, sa larong ito, unang mainlab, talo.
pero ang hindi niya alam, hindi ito isang laro.
kaya sa dulo siya talaga ang totoong talo.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Both peeking into the holes
of our imaginations
seeking for the perfection
we keep on denying
A play of struggle,
from the steaming pot of lust
and lost box of love
we keep losing track
your delicate satin
And let us cover ourselves
baring the emptiness inside
for the whole world
to witness and feast
with laughs and prejudice
*entitled, knealing plead, dated 11/2005
cast your vote kung sinong blogger ang gusto niyong sumayaw ng mga sumusunod:
**si joaqui miguel sa megamall, marian rivera, sabay sabay tayo.
*** eto naman para kay jepoi sa lrt2, pussycat dolls, jai ho.
**** ito para kay dabo sa gym, pussycat dolls, sway.
at ito ara kay mugen, moony, im flying away.
o kaya naman si tripper na nakatopless, low rise jeans at walang brief doing florida's low.
at humanda na kayo para sa isang ultimate dance number na hindi niyo malilimutan! HAHAHAHA!
siyempre kelangan pumayag muna sila! hahahaha
haay, i am such a bummer! hahaha!
Sunday, May 17, 2009
afterwards, we met a couple of more friends for dinner in this fancy restaurant in a popular mall. the night ended with one of the best conversations i ever had, enjoyed one of the best food i have eaten and heard one of the best stories that could ever be told. then i said to myself that the decision was indeed worth it.
Friday, May 15, 2009
yan, ang avatar na kakalaban sa avatar ni dave! hahaha!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
until finally, i have decided to asked for higher wisdom.
at age 23, the shaman have bestowed upon me the worst sight of them all. when i am at the peak of my youth, when i have already put almost my entire life for this, and i am more than prepared and ready more than ever or anyone--- he have forbidden me to fall in love.
the parade roared louder than ever before and my chest was obliterated like a lonely and dusty desert.
tonight, i will listen to the saddest lullabies again thinking that their is no such thing as thundering parade.
*how to say that i am diagnosed with hypertension and enlargement of the heart, the dabo way.
bibisitahin muli ako
ng isang laksa na mga salitang
ibig makipagtalik sa aking gunita
iindayog sa ritmo ng kanilang mga kahulugan
at bibigay muli sa rurok ng kanilang kandungan
magpaparaya sa tikas ng mga talinghaga,
na bubusal sa hinagpis ng aking kamangmangan
at huhubad sa tapis na ibinaro sa akin ng mga magulang
bukas, tiyak kong durugo ako sa hapdi
aagos ang bukal ng luha sa aking mga magang pisngi,
luluwa ang mga titik,
sasabog ang tintaat iluluwal ng aking pantog
ang isang mapagpalayang obra
*tulaan portion muna---ulit! wala pa sa mood magpost!
may sakit ako--- bawal makialam! hahaha
** first posted by auj. thanksie!
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
it was just like any ordinary nights, people come in with an empty chest and with the hope of a sudden escape. and just like them, i was also craving for that moment, just for this another night.
i walked in and headed the bar to grab a bottle of beer. then scanned the place like i used to do and saw the usual look in everyone's eyes--- searching. i knew most of them were familiar faces and once i have crossed paths with. but none of them actually told me their real names--- no one actually told me who they really were. but no one can blame them since it was the unwritten rule of the place.
after finishing my bottle, i went straight and struggled to reach the stage alone. and wondered how this simple flatform could strip off anyone's hesitation. no wonder everyone is trying to climb up.
when i finally owned a small spot, i allowed the house music to succumbed me and it didn't take that long for my body to have a mind of its own. the spontaneity of the beat was a breather, melting the stiffness of the routine that engulfed my soul for the entire week. all i could do was to close my eyes and let my body grind all those baggages.
"nice move," a man in his late 20s told me as his firm spec and washboard abs drew closer to mine. for a moment, i felt the need touch it, grip his edgy midrib that was still visible even under the dim light, closer to mine. i felt a sudden hard on underneath my pants and the familiar crave to rub it on his legs. but the moment, he told me his name was "jake" and recognized that it was not the same name he gave me the last time we checked each other out, i moved away.
then behind me was a chinito guy, probably in his early 20s, semikal, shirt off too and has a lean but well defined body. surprisingly, his skin was illuminating our now shared space. his hips were moving in with the right beat as his eyes fixed in checking my package. i immediately wrapped my arms around his neck and bounce to the music unendlessly. i could feel his knees bouncing in between my legs as if teasing me to go down further. when the sensation was already dragging me to that unknown pit, i decided to swim above and instead, drew my face nearer to his almost burying my lips in his neck, looking for that familiar warmth. hmmm... even his sweat smells sweet.
suddenly, i tried getting his eyes to look at mine, just for me to have a glimpse of what he is keeping inside. but he avoided my stare until his own gestures told me what his real intentions were. then the spark we had just faded in an instant.
perhaps, i am just tired of all these chasing and would no longer settle into something temporary. so again, i backed off and went down the stage.
i struggled my way back to the bar again thinking of getting another bottle for my next attempt. then from a far, behind the misty room and deafening music, your smile radiated like a lost star, waiting for someone to notice and own it.
you were standing there calmly, your gestures were different from the other shadows that once lured that space. we looked at each others' eyes, as if we shared the same decision not to break the stare. for a moment, i thought i was looking at mine: your eyes has the same similar vivid colors and that dying flare in the middle of a deep emptiness, until a tantalizing line drew its way across your face.
the next thing i knew, i was already walking my way to the main street and would find myself a ride back again to the monotony of my life, i kept on escaping.
suddenly my phone rang. i immediately took it out of my pocket and checked it.
a message reads a simple "hi" from an unregistered number. then the first thing i thought was just your smile.
***an attempt to relive the posts i will surely miss.
my pens on you, mugen blue.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
to: dabo (email@example.com)
subject: the bitchesa experiment
may 21, 2008
believe me, i hate starting letters with rants but i couldn't think of the sweetest sugarcoat to start this. so here it goes.
you first came in my notice when you posted something on my blog. it was a complete kiss ass to be honest. but hey, who isn't, if it is the first time, right?
perhaps, i should be even grateful since you didn't ask for exlink like most pathetic bloggers do. so i greatly considered.
but when you began spamming comments on each of the entries i posted, just to get my attention started to become really annoying, especially when you also tagged me names, which i find very unnecessary. call me an egocentric maniac so that i could call you a desperate attention seeker.
seriously, i was never bothered about the problem in marikina river until i saw you walking.
i understand. both of us are relatively new in this terrain and we are trying to find our own fences to fit in but who said we needed one? but sometimes, even fitting in doesn't always have to have the same means, if you know what i mean?
there are differents ways for different circles and different circles for different people. not to mention the fact, that you also need to identify who is who, who is from which, which is which and which is from who.
confused? then lets make it simplier.
blogging is like any other social interaction outside the virtual space. regardless, how we deny to ourselves that we are doing this for our personal gratification, the moment we post something online, it is already a public object, subject to the appreciation and scrutiny of others.
nonetheless, we could not deny that we are delighted whenever we see someone posted a comment on our entries. it is our enthusiasm from having new and maintain current readers that pushes us to check our blog once in a while. it drives us to write and express better.
but having this in mind should not forfeit our personal space. it is still our personal space that is at the top of everything else and whenever someone intrudes that that is where the problem arises.
just like any interaction, humans being social animals still mark their territory, and everyone are bound by that unwritten rule.
if you were able to lure someone or group through being naughty and all that, don't expect the other person or group biting the same drama. the main rule in socializing is being sensitive and the primary requirement is the ability to adapt.
allow me to say a line i once said to a person who has the same attitude as you do:
not all appreciate you?
and so is not all love pekingese toydogs!
i tried my best to understand our differences. i opened myself from all considerations that there could possibly be, but it seemed like my experiences and the faces i have met still fall lacking when it comes to dealing with you. probably because it is you who is not aware, it is you who is not dropping his walls and it is still you that is still stuck with the mindset that you are at the top of the food chain.
believe me, even the highest predators can be knocked off by the smallest and the most bottom creature in the hierarchy.
the world doesn't and wouldn't even revolve around you. so don't expect everyone taking off their pants and running towards your attention because no one actually cares.
and just like a conceited ego, wild grass may be hard to kill, but they are still vulnerable once someone knew how deep and where their roots are situated. don't wait for that someone to dig it up and burn it infront of you.
sorry, if i am being too harsh. but believe me, i could be one of the nicest person you can meet, that is why i am trying to write you this, for you to be aware about the act that you are doing. atleast not for me, but for other people you have met and will meet.
i may never understand what you are going through nor what you've been into, but in life, it is not always about you or me. it is always about us as a whole. so please start trimming yourself, if you want to stay and survive the harsher and windier green terrain ahead.
the bitchesa me bitching,
*the following is an experiment open letter, dabo and i thought before we decided to meet up, in order to determine, who is more bitchy between us.