Sunday, May 31, 2009

ang labo mo, papa venn!

for fortunate some, its as simple as this venn diagram.

but for most of us, who are like any students that dislike math, we (myself included ofcourse) are forced to study, analyze and understand it more than how it is shown and in effect it becomes complicated for us.

and like any relationships, if we put so much thought on it, to the point that its inevitable to miss the part that we are already over analyzing and confuse things up, its the time it gets complicated.

for me, i believe that not because you are different from the rest and the rest don't understand and deem you complicated because you are different, life should be difficult too.

life is a no brainer, so take it lightly.

-my egocentric and confident self having coffee with my passive and pessimistic self while i am sleeping. hence, i was not invited.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

what soberness conceals, drunkenness reveals

"when is the best time to confess that your positive to the person you are dating?"

"after the first kiss?"

everyone laughed.

"as soon as possible," a friend and i chorally answered.

honestly, i was also surprised with my response. for after months and months of contemplating everything about it, i couldn't believe that i would be able to finally draw out a spontaneous answer, which usually take me a long time before.

it all begun in that party. in the middle of free flowing booze and beer-soaked pizza and tacos, someone threw out that question. but in all fairness, despite the loud band music and everyone busily minding their own businesses..."ehem"... businesses, it successfully got every body's attention.

for the first time, i was overwhelmed with the fact that after a long time of avoiding the topic, i was actually caught off guardedly sitting on a table of several people openly talking about it; and was able to engage myself on such discussion. for most of the time, i would either asked to change the topic or just keep quiet until we move on to the next.

"is it really that easy?," he asked.

"well for me, if someone who is positive won't be able to own it, then how much more will he expect the person he is dating to accept that fact?" i answered, " i think if you really like the person, what he has shouldn't really define who he is. on the other hand, when it comes to that, i believe that there are actually a hundred ways to actualize it without getting infected. in the first place, it shouldn't really all about that, right?"

a sudden pause engulfed us. then he softly lifted and moved the topic as if a plate of nachos to his friend sitting beside him.

"well, i just don't get it why people like him, who is so faithful to his partner despite my efforts to sway him to cheat around would actually get it?"

then there was another silence. suddenly, i saw his friend rebutting something out of what he have said but i failed to catch it.

nonetheless, my night fast forwarded with what he said. then, i taught how wide the possibilities can be, how large the chances are and just because of one or a number of mistake, something will inevitably change.

so much for change being the only constant thing in life, huh?!

then as i carry myself to bed, i closed my eyes and told myself not to forget to appreciate the next day ahead.

Friday, May 29, 2009

not your ordinary sell out post

its not really necessary for one to be an audiophile in order to appreciate music. honestly, i am more of a visual person rather than a music one. i have no favorite genre, artist nor song. believe it or not, i can say that i can live my life even without music; contrary to most who claim that they can't. no wonder, i am the only person among my friends who don't have an ipod or any music player.
but last night, a blogger friend invited me over to this blogger party sponsored by philips. though i rarely go out of my box, i decided to check it out since its near my place. it was my first online party event ever, so i felt a certain ackwardness at first. but later on found my space when the "informal" party begun.
after the small talk, it was a great surprise when suddenly one of the organizers handed each of us a bag of goodies and i honestly didn't expect my first going-to-be-mp3 player inside.

it was a 4gb philips gogear sparks with their well-celebrated full sound technology. basically, it was just a small but hip box that would fit in to anyone's pocket. it also has a short usb cord for file transfering and usb charging, making it more convenient, cord friendly and portable for anyone on the go.
so what is the full sound technology?
geek mode transform...
well, based from what i understood, when we upload or download music files from one device to another, certain sound details are compressed and most of the time get lost, in order to adjust to our devices' formats. in effect, sound quality is comprimised. but with this technology, it promises to bring back those details as if they were fresh from the recording studios to fully suit our individual musical cravings.
then i remembered, what a belgian attendee raised during the talk, "so what? as long as i'll be able to listen to my songs clearly, it will be perfectly fine for me." well, come to think of it, she actually has a good point.
for us, commoners, who are mostly not that tech savy nor keen to sound details but comprises the massive bulk of potential buyers, we actually careless. as long as we'll be able to listen clearly to what we want to hear, it will definitely work for us.
but since, i happen to have all the time in the world after resigning from my previous work, i tried checking it out for myself.

for me, i give it 3 and a half out of five stars.
4 stars
sound quality, songs are relatively crispier, clearer and noiseless compare to other players i have listened to. so this is what full sound is all about.
i also like the album art feature, where you can actually upload and personalize the screensaver with your own pictures.
very, very portable. though in second thought, its on the verge of being not burara--clumsy-malilimutin-friendly like me.
2 stars
needs improvement in terms of navigation--- i find it very difficult navigating the player because of its pseudo touch screen feature, where you could actually feel the buttons underneath the screen. thus, one needs perfect timing and probably balance in order to go to the menu s/he wants to go.

nonetheless, as what ive said, as long as i can listen my music, it will be just fine for me, atleast for now.

but hey i am just writing one version of the actual product and this is just another part of me trying to be a tech writer out of my bumness.
for additional info, check this site:

and they also have an upcoming event where they are inviting upcoming local bands all around the country for battle of the band called bandwidth in bonifacio high street this june 6, 2009. for interested parties, you can check this site for further details:

Sunday, May 24, 2009

para kay lamberta makipot

aka dabo:
salamat sa pagpapakilala kay leah dahil kundi sa kanya ay hindi ko matitikman ang arroz valenciana aka fruit cake.
salamat sa pagtitiyaga sa ka-OChan ni jepoi para sa kanyang graham cake na sadyang may flower/starfish sa ibabaw.

salamat din sa marinara pasta mong sadyang napakasarap for a beginner's luck at crinave ko bigla paggising ko.
at siyempre sa pagiging clara (mara clara), angelica (marimar), celina (mula sa puso), valeria (rosalinda), pirenha (encantadia), amor powers (pangako sa iyo) at miss minchin ng buhay ko!
kaya aside dito,

isang namamasa, namimintog, bumubulwak, nangangamatis, nanghihimahid, at tayong tayong,


kahit every year ka nag dedebut! welcome sa bagong stage ng buhay mo, balitaan mo kami how it feels like para mapaghandaan ko!


nagmamahal ang bitter-na-cook-ng-paellang-pinagkamalang-tuyong-kare-kare-kaya-gumaganti,


*naisip ko, ang babait ng mga tao kapag bewtdey nila. pero since ako si ewik at ikaw si dabo, deviant tayo.
**pero in a serious note, salamat. alam mo na yun!

Friday, May 22, 2009

something seriously stupid

"i just realized you don't take things seriously," animoy isang boses sa isang malalim na panaginip ang gumising sa akin. at sosyal na panaginip ito, nag-eenglish.
halos mamutik ako sa pawis pagkagising. kahit alam ko naman, na naghilod ako ng umagang iyon. hindi ko alam pero nanginig ang laman ko sa loob, na parang isang usang nakaliyad ang leeg sa pagitan nang pagkakasakmal ng isang malnourished na leyon. walang laban at ikmi ang mga salitang lumalabas sa kanyang lalamunan.


subalit maliban dun, naging surreal ang panaginip--- cryptic. masaya, in other words. may complete arching rainbow ang langit at in full bloom ang mga bulaklak sa new found lihim na hardin. may mga ilang paru-parong nagpabaliktad sa aking sikmura at sumuka din ako ng pinaghalong mga dyamante at mangilan-ngilang burak sa sahig.


nito lang nang naisip ko, dalawa lang ang mukha ng pagiging seryoso. ang una ay karuwagan sa pagsasabi ng totoo sa taong gusto mo at ang huli ay ang mga kahulugang nakatago sa sulat na ito.

*try niyong habaan ang tulog niyo, baka dalawin din kayo ng panaginip na ganito.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

tatawid ka pa?

nakikita-kita ko na kapag nanalo siya. biro lang!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

laro (?)

sa bawat kwento, hindi lang lagi si judy ann ang bida, si sharon ang api o si nora ang nagiging mayaman o masaya sa ending.

sapagkat kung tutuusin ang bawat kwento ay walang bida o kontra bida dahil ang bida ay kung sino ang gusto mong gawing bida at ganoon din kung sino ang gusto mong kontrabida.

walang masama o mabuti, walang api o inaapi. lahat inaapi, lahat nang aapi at lahat nagpapaapi.

kaya para sa kanya, sa larong ito, unang mainlab, talo.

pero ang hindi niya alam, hindi ito isang laro.

kaya sa dulo siya talaga ang totoong talo.

Monday, May 18, 2009

first day bummer

A wink of reality in a make believe
set up we've made
Both peeking into the holes
of our imaginations
seeking for the perfection
we keep on denying

A play of struggle,
from the steaming pot of lust
and lost box of love
we keep losing track

weave me,
your delicate satin
And let us cover ourselves
baring the emptiness inside
for the whole world
to witness and feast
with laughs and prejudice

*entitled, knealing plead, dated 11/2005

cast your vote kung sinong blogger ang gusto niyong sumayaw ng mga sumusunod:

**si joaqui miguel sa megamall, marian rivera, sabay sabay tayo.

*** eto naman para kay jepoi sa lrt2, pussycat dolls, jai ho.

**** ito para kay dabo sa gym, pussycat dolls, sway.

at ito ara kay mugen, moony, im flying away.

o kaya naman si tripper na nakatopless, low rise jeans at walang brief doing florida's low.

at humanda na kayo para sa isang ultimate dance number na hindi niyo malilimutan! HAHAHAHA!

siyempre kelangan pumayag muna sila! hahahaha

haay, i am such a bummer! hahaha!

Sunday, May 17, 2009

pay day

so how does someone suppose to start his week?

with a smile on his face and happiness in his chest.

two days before payday, i met some friends despite the lack of means to do so, financially. i told myself that money should not hinder me from doing the things that i want to do and things that will make me happy. so i met up a friend in magallanes that morning, accompanied him in touring chinatown and had the best noodles and steamed dumplings in town.
afterwards, we met a couple of more friends for dinner in this fancy restaurant in a popular mall. the night ended with one of the best conversations i ever had, enjoyed one of the best food i have eaten and heard one of the best stories that could ever be told. then i said to myself that the decision was indeed worth it.

a day before payday, with only a hundred bucks in my pocket, a friend asked me to meet him up to hear his problem. so i used the remaining value in both my lrt and mrt cards. later, i knew that was the last time i'll use those cards again.
we talked and talked as the day went by. fortunately, my mere presence uplifted and cheered him up. the smile that i drew on his face was something that made me feel an overwhelming appreciation to the small things i have done.

then payday came, i withdrew all my money in the bank and paid my all my dues: my rent, my credit card, laundry, and some debts. it was just now that i have realized that i only had a couple of grand left. i havent even bought some groceries. then, i accompanied my brother in UP and treated him for lunch. then later that night, i met up with another set of friends for a brief dinner and coffee. then decided to go to pasay to fulfill another life list--- WENSHA!

honestly, i am a massage parlor virgin and that i am proud of(hehehe). so all i did was to follow my friend as we make our way inside the place. we went to the shower room (separately ofcourse), the sauna and steam room--- and yes the steam room also looks very suspicious. until we reached the massage room. at first, i was quite hesitant in doing it since i know that i am big moaner when it comes to massage. but what the heck, i did not pay 600 something just for the splash parts.

the massage was hard and when i say hard, it was really hard. i even got bruises in my arms and legs and there were also a number of times when i needed to control myself from having a hard on because i felt that the masseur's hand navigated too much on my body. but it was all worth it and the harrastment paid off. i felt that there were already more gaps and spaces for stress to fill in again. but when we thought that it was the end of the package, it seemed like the establishment has still something more in store for us and decided to put it as the finale--- a buffet!
it was already 4 in the morning when i reached home. but 5 hours after, i found myself making a kite for the first time. what for?

ever since i was kid, i was always envious whenever i see a kite flying in the sky. i always wish that i am the kid who is flying it. this is the part where you will ask, how's your childhood?

we didn't grow up with our dad around since he worked abroad. while my mom only knows how to cook and take care of us. so i never flew a kite before nor made one.

so, a day after payday, together with another friend, we ate breakfast in UP first, jog around the oval and decided to fly the kite i made. despite the day just being so dull sunny with no wind tagging alone, i still tried and ran probably more than what ive jogged. there were numerous attempt but i was already satisfied seeing the kite 15 feet above me.

there was this cheesy feeling, about the kite while it was above my head. it was as if, i am attached with it, that i also wanted to fly and just for a time be above the entire place and moment. it or both of you are free.

later that night, before i went to work, i have recalled all those things that i have done and realized how happy i really was during those times. then i thought all the things that i have missed. all the precious moments that seemed to have been stolen from me.

a friend told me, to think about it first and don't rush too much with my decisions.

but i answered him, its been almost three years since i first thought, if this is the right place for me and i think its enough for me to come up with this decision.

another said that i should have atleast another plan or a back up.

i answered, its difficult for me to look for another one while i am in here. so i believe that in order for me to find the fulfillemt i am looking, i need to go outside the box first to look for it.

well, i have realized how we need to do the things that will make us happy first in order to remind us what we really want or need in life.

thus, although i only have more than a grand in my pocket, i gathered all my courage, hope and wishful thinkings and finally made it official after a very very long time.

its already been five hours now since i have set my heart loose and my lips to smile again. while i bid farewell to my last pay day.
i'll survive. i know, i will.

Friday, May 15, 2009

three signs of pagiging tigang (fictional)

nung isang araw,
habang naglalakad
sa kahabaan ng katipunan
iniisip ko paano mo masasabi
kung tigang na ang isang tao?
so tinext ko ang tatlong kaibigan ko.
sabi ng una,
kapag sobrang nagiging
malisyoso ka daw..
tapos nakita ko ito:
but can you blame me?
may palagay naman akong
yun din ang naisip niyo.
kaya hindi ako naniwala
sabi naman nung isa ko pang katext,
through one's subconscious.
tapos nakaramdam ako ng malamig
na wisik ng tubig sa hita ko
habang naglalakad at nang liningon ko
sila ang nakita ko:
katipunan's masa version of bath house.
debunked na si freud!
so nagtanong ulit ako,
sabi nung huling pinagtanungan ko,
kapag it reminded you of someone
WALA NA! kalokohan na ito!
di hamak naman, koyang!
DI HAMAK naman!
so i therefore, conclude.
hindi ako tigang!
si... ano na lang!
hahaha. ayoko na baka
magalit na siya sa akin!
pasensiya na sabaw
ang utak ko ngayon!
sidedish muna po:
yan, ang avatar na kakalaban sa avatar ni dave! hahaha!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

after the ribbon cutting

minsan, hindi mahalaga kung sino ang taong nananakit sa atin, ang mas importante ay kung bakit natin hinahayaang masaktan tayo.

sometimes, its not important who the person hurting us is, what matters is why do we keep on allowing ourselves to get hurt.

a philosopher once said that man seeks pleasure and avoids pain. but how come most people has this odd tendency that they keep on lingering things and memories, that they know will hurt them. such objects and events that will make them remember someone that has long gone? 

perhaps, there is just this unexplainable itch, craving to bring it back and we fall weak to resist it--- and of course, i am no exception.

but if for some, sex is such an overrated word. then for me, its moving on. 

regardless who among my exes (naks plural!) is involved, i always find it easier to say that i have moved on than understanding what it really mean. 

for although the chances of getting back is as blur as pasig river, its just unavoidable for us to pick up something along the streets that we have once took with someone, hand in hand. the memories still spur out, the moment we pick up something that reminded us of him/her no matter how we keep on pressing them down. and the hurt that it brings is far more than the smile it draws on our faces. then the worst of it all is that at the end of the day, we will catch ourselves asking, 

have i really moved on?

Monday, May 11, 2009

today the shaman speaks

its been days and nights since i first heard the parade of hundred thundering gallops inside my chest. it was the kind of parade that could make the earth crumble into million pieces. for nights, i am also hearing names that would immediately steal the graces of my slumber. while for days, i would catch myself into deep drowning recesses.

until finally, i have decided to asked for higher wisdom.

at age 23, the shaman have bestowed upon me the worst sight of them all. when i am at the peak of my youth, when i have already put almost my entire life for this, and i am more than prepared and ready more than ever or anyone--- he have forbidden me to fall in love.

the parade roared louder than ever before and my chest was obliterated like a lonely and dusty desert.

tonight, i will listen to the saddest lullabies again thinking that their is no such thing as thundering parade.

*how to say that i am diagnosed with hypertension and enlargement of the heart, the dabo way.

tagulaylay ng makatang b(in)usabos

ngayong gabi,
bibisitahin muli ako
ng isang laksa na mga salitang
ibig makipagtalik sa aking gunita
iindayog sa ritmo ng kanilang mga kahulugan
at bibigay muli sa rurok ng kanilang kandungan

magpaparaya sa tikas ng mga talinghaga,
na bubusal sa hinagpis ng aking kamangmangan
at huhubad sa tapis na ibinaro sa akin ng mga magulang
bukas, tiyak kong durugo ako sa hapdi
aagos ang bukal ng luha sa aking mga magang pisngi,
luluwa ang mga titik,
sasabog ang tintaat iluluwal ng aking pantog

ang isang mapagpalayang obra

*tulaan portion muna---ulit! wala pa sa mood magpost!
may sakit ako--- bawal makialam! hahaha
** first posted by auj. thanksie!

Saturday, May 9, 2009

logical (?) reasoning

mahal ni A si B, at mahal din naman ni B si A. subalit kahit mahal nila ang isa't isa hindi sila nagkatuluyan.

magkarelasyon si X at si Y, nagkaroon sila ng problema at nagkahiwalay sila. Mahal pa nila ang isa't isa pero magkaganun pa man, hindi pa din sila nagkabalikan.

nagkakilala si M at N sa isang party, nag usap at labis na nagkapalagayan ng loob. Subalit natapos ang party at nagsiuwian na, nang hindi nila nakuha ang numero ng isa't-isa. yun ang una at huling beses na nagkita ang dalawa. 
scribbles:ink and paper:08/2003

ang main ingredient ng tatlo: lahat ng tauhan ay naghintay na magfirst move ang kanilang kapareha. sa kanilang paghihintay, wala silang napala!

sabi ng isang kaibigan, pride daw ang tawag dito. 

sabi ko naman, siguro (kasi guilty din ako).

Thursday, May 7, 2009

the pretender

behind the misty room and deafening music, your smile radiated like a lost star, waiting for someone to notice and own it.

it was just like any ordinary nights, people come in with an empty chest and with the hope of a sudden escape. and just like them, i was also craving for that moment, just for this another night.
i walked in and headed the bar to grab a bottle of beer. then scanned the place like i used to do and saw the usual look in everyone's eyes--- searching. i knew most of them were familiar faces and once i have crossed paths with. but none of them actually told me their real names--- no one actually told me who they really were. but no one can blame them since it was the unwritten rule of the place.

after finishing my bottle, i went straight and struggled to reach the stage alone. and wondered how this simple flatform could strip off anyone's hesitation. no wonder everyone is trying to climb up.

when i finally owned a small spot, i allowed the house music to succumbed me and it didn't take that long for my body to have a mind of its own. the spontaneity of the beat was a breather, melting the stiffness of the routine that engulfed my soul for the entire week. all i could do was to close my eyes and let my body grind all those baggages.

"nice move," a man in his late 20s told me as his firm spec and washboard abs drew closer to mine. for a moment, i felt the need touch it, grip his edgy midrib that was still visible even under the dim light, closer to mine. i felt a sudden hard on underneath my pants and the familiar crave to rub it on his legs. but the moment, he told me his name was "jake" and recognized that it was not the same name he gave me the last time we checked each other out, i moved away.
then behind me was a chinito guy, probably in his early 20s, semikal, shirt off too and has a lean but well defined body. surprisingly, his skin was illuminating our now shared space. his hips were moving in with the right beat as his eyes fixed in checking my package. i immediately wrapped my arms around his neck and bounce to the music unendlessly. i could feel his knees bouncing in between my legs as if teasing me to go down further. when the sensation was already dragging me to that unknown pit, i decided to swim above and instead, drew my face nearer to his almost burying my lips in his neck, looking for that familiar warmth. hmmm... even his sweat smells sweet.

suddenly, i tried getting his eyes to look at mine, just for me to have a glimpse of what he is keeping inside. but he avoided my stare until his own gestures told me what his real intentions were. then the spark we had just faded in an instant.

perhaps, i am just tired of all these chasing and would no longer settle into something temporary. so again, i backed off and went down the stage.

i struggled my way back to the bar again thinking of getting another bottle for my next attempt. then from a far, behind the misty room and deafening music, your smile radiated like a lost star, waiting for someone to notice and own it.

you were standing there calmly, your gestures were different from the other shadows that once lured that space. we looked at each others' eyes, as if we shared the same decision not to break the stare. for a moment, i thought i was looking at mine: your eyes has the same similar vivid colors and that dying flare in the middle of a deep emptiness, until a tantalizing line drew its way across your face.

the next thing i knew, i was already walking my way to the main street and would find myself a ride back again to the monotony of my life, i kept on escaping.
suddenly my phone rang. i immediately took it out of my pocket and checked it.
a message reads a simple "hi" from an unregistered number. then the first thing i thought was just your smile.

***an attempt to relive the posts i will surely miss.
my pens on you, mugen blue.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

the bitchesa experiment: the annoying one

from: ewik (
to: dabo (
cc: blogosphere
bcc: everyone
subject: the bitchesa experiment

may 21, 2008

believe me, i hate starting letters with rants but i couldn't think of the sweetest sugarcoat to start this. so here it goes.

you first came in my notice when you posted something on my blog. it was a complete kiss ass to be honest. but hey, who isn't, if it is the first time, right?

perhaps, i should be even grateful since you didn't ask for exlink like most pathetic bloggers do. so i greatly considered.

but when you began spamming comments on each of the entries i posted, just to get my attention started to become really annoying, especially when you also tagged me names, which i find very unnecessary. call me an egocentric maniac so that i could call you a desperate attention seeker.

seriously, i was never bothered about the problem in marikina river until i saw you walking.

i understand. both of us are relatively new in this terrain and we are trying to find our own fences to fit in but who said we needed one? but sometimes, even fitting in doesn't always have to have the same means, if you know what i mean?

there are differents ways for different circles and different circles for different people. not to mention the fact, that you also need to identify who is who, who is from which, which is which and which is from who.

confused? then lets make it simplier.

blogging is like any other social interaction outside the virtual space. regardless, how we deny to ourselves that we are doing this for our personal gratification, the moment we post something online, it is already a public object, subject to the appreciation and scrutiny of others.

nonetheless, we could not deny that we are delighted whenever we see someone posted a comment on our entries. it is our enthusiasm from having new and maintain current readers that pushes us to check our blog once in a while. it drives us to write and express better.

but having this in mind should not forfeit our personal space. it is still our personal space that is at the top of everything else and whenever someone intrudes that that is where the problem arises.

just like any interaction, humans being social animals still mark their territory, and everyone are bound by that unwritten rule.

if you were able to lure someone or group through being naughty and all that, don't expect the other person or group biting the same drama. the main rule in socializing is being sensitive and the primary requirement is the ability to adapt.

allow me to say a line i once said to a person who has the same attitude as you do:

not all appreciate you?

and so is not all love pekingese toydogs!

i tried my best to understand our differences. i opened myself from all considerations that there could possibly be, but it seemed like my experiences and the faces i have met still fall lacking when it comes to dealing with you. probably because it is you who is not aware, it is you who is not dropping his walls and it is still you that is still stuck with the mindset that you are at the top of the food chain.

believe me, even the highest predators can be knocked off by the smallest and the most bottom creature in the hierarchy.

the world doesn't and wouldn't even revolve around you. so don't expect everyone taking off their pants and running towards your attention because no one actually cares.

and just like a conceited ego, wild grass may be hard to kill, but they are still vulnerable once someone knew how deep and where their roots are situated. don't wait for that someone to dig it up and burn it infront of you.

sorry, if i am being too harsh. but believe me, i could be one of the nicest person you can meet, that is why i am trying to write you this, for you to be aware about the act that you are doing. atleast not for me, but for other people you have met and will meet.

i may never understand what you are going through nor what you've been into, but in life, it is not always about you or me. it is always about us as a whole. so please start trimming yourself, if you want to stay and survive the harsher and windier green terrain ahead.

LA Lopez!

the bitchesa me bitching,

*the following is an experiment open letter, dabo and i thought before we decided to meet up, in order to determine, who is more bitchy between us.


its been ages na talaga since i wanted to eat paella. good thing che, one of my bffs invited me over to cook one.
at first, i really doubted if she really knew how to cook one or not, but who cares?! its still effing paella! and she is also half española, so i gave her the benefit of the doubt. we met on this like so-so place in up and had din-err. then we decided to spent the night at their place, good thing they were kind enuf to drop me to my place to get my pj's. i just really can't sleep without them! uh-uh! 'coz there like really uncomfortable kasi...then the next day, although we woke up pretty late na, it didn't stop us to pursue our plano! 
we went to the satellite market, like this talipapa in washington and bought all the ingredients: mussels, shrimps, clams, tuna, chicken, bell peppers (red and green), green peas, onions, a whole clove of garlic, two packs of tomato paste and four packs of rice in a nearby carenderia.i was really not into going there. 'cuz its really wet and eewee tlaga! then the people are like, sweaty and all that! 'cuz i don't really cook at home. like bakit pa, if i have the entire katips as my kitchen, di ba? but its not that bad naman pala. its quite exciting actually
basically, we only spent almost 150 effing pesos each! imagine that?! and to top it all, it is good for almost 8 servings!while we were walking back home, i decided to buy spanish bread and softdrinks since i am really starving and theres no bread talk or coffee shops naman there. i approached a sari-sari store and asked for sodas. the old lady took two bottles inside the refrigerator and opened it up.
then asked, plastic?
opo, please! i answered.
then she reacted, sa tagal kong nagtitinada ngayon lang ako nasabihan ng please (for the entire time i have this store, this is the first time, i have been asked with a please).
i was surprised like no freaking way manang?!?then the old man, outside the store whom she was having a chitchat with laughed and said, mas paki kasi ang madalas gamitin nating mga Pinoy. 
Oo nga, pero ewan ko, parang mas masarap pakinggan ang please siguro dahil madalas na nating naririnig ang paki kaya parang wala na lang. 
well, in a way it made me smile, knowing i was able to make someone smile to complete her day. like i am such an angel talaga.when we arrived home, we allocated the tasks. then while doing my tasks i have realized that the reason paellas are that freaking expensive in restaus are not because of the ingredients they put but kasi of the time and work it takes to cook one. while i was taking off the shells of the ewwee clams, i then remembered a blogger who told me that he believes that i am a closet konyo, which i think i am really not! i immediately thought of my usual get up, consist of a plain shirt, pair of jeans and flip flops, there is no f%#%* way i am one. i don't even know if such term actually exists. but when i recall what the old woman said, it gave me a small space to ponder at. 
but regardless, if i am or not, who cares? problem is, as i have said to that blogger, what matters is not other people's connotation of the word konyo is, but it is more on how you define yourself and the word in relationship to your life. 
and above all, the paella was just terrific!see you bitches!

Sunday, May 3, 2009

tribute: not an ordinary kiss ass

its one of the earliest blogs i have read since i started blogging. and i must say that reading it was one of the most interesting things i found online. it is a full length novel, a biography that tells the story of a young man struggling to keep up with the life that he has chosen and his lover, which was the main purpose of his blog. 

if there is one way to describe it: the site was full of emotions and personalities that often times, i felt that it is already the personalities controlling the author, which makes it more effective. in short, the blog created a personality of its own.

personally, its hard not to notice this blog and to detach yourself the moment you started reading it. it is like a soap opera, full of interesting characters, conflicts, adventures, "climax" and morals, which makes every audience/ reader crave for more.

it is addictive, because every audience can relate into it. especially if you find your emotions as one of the most troublesome factors in your life. it explains how it cripples us, how most of the time it overcomes our focus and how we struggle to live out with it, just like his, which happens to make this site successful.

but aside from the blog and its entries, it is actually the friendship that i truly treasure from it. mugen was the first person i met in blogging. and for a person like me, who refuses to meet up, he was able to convince me to make an exception and up to this very moment, he is still able to convince me that meeting him up was one of the best decisions i made. 

but the other day, mugen posted its farewell post after five years of running. for me, it was mixed emotions. and somehow, it reminded me of the time when will and grace or queer as folk aired their last episode for their final season. but the main difference was mugen didn't inform its readers about its upcoming closing. in a way, i know mugen has his own reasons for doing this. and perhaps, one of them is the difficulties he might encounter from his readers once he informed about it, knowing he has a vast list. and from that, i believe that he have successfully mastered and understood how the blog world works. thus, he have made his last queenly walk gracefully with an openned majestic peacock tail on his back.

nonetheless, i felt bad because of the thought that the next time, i am going to go online and check his site, i will just find the same goodbye post on it. but on the otherhand, i am glad to know that he was able to resolved the main purpose of his blog. 

i'll miss the tasteful drama, the worthwhile escapades, the untold stories, the subtle hurt, the candid stories, the outstanding word plays, the titillating experiences, the intricate descriptions and narration that only you can do, the treasure chest in every post, my airport to other blog sites, and above all, the personalities that have already found their places in me.

i know that this will not be the last time, i'll hear from the author again. with his passion to write, i know that someday, another mugen will emerge and this time it will be better from the best that he have shared to us. 

best of luck to you, kuya joms!

Friday, May 1, 2009

beings: just beings

there they were divinely walking in the middle of the darkness. their skin, glowing with fresh golden stardusts, continously being sprinkled by what looks to be cherubins from heaven sitting on top of the street post. even the streets kneel down as their ambrosial hair falls and graces the floor, scared of touching it. while the entire evening hold their silence because of their celestial presence. every night, as i risked myself home, i often pass these heavenly creatures like an immaculate apparition. they are such a feast in one's eyes that i couldn't take off mine from looking at them. but despite their deific figures, i noticed that there eyes were the most sorrowful things i have ever seen. they were like pairs of dark, mystical orbs that contain all the miseries and sorrow in the world. there was pain in mere looking at them, as if it is harshly tearing my chest apart. as if their stare was telling me, theyre damned: theyre not mortals nor gods, not even something that falls in between. they are beings with omniscient features but with a heart of a mortal, vulnerable of hurt and pain. something that they have to bear until theyre immortality is bestowed upon to them ,once again.

there were several mortal shadows pass. some halt to give respect, while others just ate blasphemy for dinner. but most, catch and bag as a prize and bring them home, where they are stripped off all their unearthly beauty and shoveled their mortal heart with turmoil.then expect the next night, that they would return back to the same spot still waiting for the call that would ascend them to their proper place in the universe. waiting for that someone or something that would restore back what have been stolen from them--- their soul.