Saturday, February 16, 2008

marriage part 2


i came from a family where a number of members chose to grow old, single. not because they don't have anyone to get married with. in fact, they have gone with a number of past relationships. but they've just chose not to for reasons they didn't want to tell us when we asked them when we were kids and we wouldn't dare asking when we grew up.
yesterday, me and a friend talked about settling down. she has been in a relationship for nine years now and presently in doubt. this is because her boyfriend's us visa was just approved after a long time of processing and waiting. she confessed to me that honestly for the first time she was unsure. she doesn't believed in long distance relationship. despite the fact that her boyfriend already promised her to get her once he have managed to settle down with a job and a decent(there goes the word again) home.
i asked her, what if both of them then realized that they were not really meant to each other after all. she answered me that she thinks she would cry hard because she could no longer imagine herself without him around and that she is already used of having him for nine long years. but she believes that if it turned out that they are not really meant for one another, then be it.
i really felt sad hearing this from her which such sincerity and hid fear on her face. although she didn't tell me. i could feel that she was already preparing this to happen. she also confessed that she even asked her boyfriend for marriage. but the guy refused. i could just feel what she was feeling that time. considering i know her as a person that wouldn't ask for something out that easily. she is the type of person that would work hard for herself to achieved something than to instantly ask it out to someone else.
when i went out of the office and met my sister in robinson's place manila, i saw a couple of vagrants hugging one another as they sleep inside a small wooden cart. the cart was parked in a small alley along pedro gil st which was being passed by a very busy crowd. then, i wondered if they are married. i actually never bothered asking them. aside from the fact they were sleeping, i really don't have the guts to talk to someone i really don't know. but then i thought what if they weren't? what if they really couldn't afford getting married? what if its just enough for them to have one another regardless how hard things could be for them? those dramatic lines. well, i just noticed, atleast among most of my friends, that they don't value marriage that much anymore. for them, if having kids are blessings before. now, getting married is just a bonus of the entire partnership package. they are pretty much focused and contended of having a child than to get a lifetime partner or at the least, to get married. as early as 16, i already accepted and prepared myself to the fact that i might be the heir or the family's tradition. again, not because i think i am already hopeless or pessimistic about the possibility of getting married. but simply because as i have mentioned on my previous posts that i really don't believe in the concept of marriage. i always believe that such ceremony is just a bind created in papers, which might be very cliche to your ears now. but it really is. i would rather get married with my partner, hands laying flat in a sack of rice (no specific purpose, just for the symbolism of susteinance, i guess) and promising our best commitments to one another than to sign a paper infront of the public. for me, the whole point of the former is a matter of one's word of honor and love to keep a relationship. instead of keeping one outside of love and respect and only binded with the pressure of other people and institutions. probably, now, all i have to think of is how to have a baby in the future. i really can't afford to hire a baby maker yet. but since i think my sperm counts are still on its maximum and just to make sure i could make use of it before it runs out (yeah right?!), i am thinking of depositing in a sperm bank some for the right time to come. does anyone know if we have a sperm bank in the country? hahaha.

20 comments:

elayas said...

single?!

bokasyon din yan.
kasing ganda rin ng buhay may asawa at relihiyoso (naks...Amen inserted here). Anu kaba, it takes time to find your half-piece....saka di ka pa naman matanda eh!

sperm bank?!

ewan.

try moi kayang mag-inquire sa BPI?!?

ahehehe jowk.


[yas]

wanderingcommuter said...

yas: bakit nagkaroon ka na ba ng asawa?hehehe... naku, hindi pa nga. pero mabuti na rin yun pinagplaplanuhan mo na ang kinabukasan mo. hahaha...

checkinga ccount land daw meron eh. nyahaha

FerBert said...

mukhang tatanda din akong single dahil napakabitter ko.. lol

amicus said...

ako naman ayoko magkaanak kasi parang masiyado na marami tao sa mundo (plus ayoko na iparanas pa sa susunod sana na henerasyon ang init ng global warming)

Bulaang Katotohanan said...

a former teacher of mine got married last year and she was like 50ish... dont lose hope!

as to marriage... its impractical (my opinion) its hard to pretend for the rest of ones life...

i dont think ill ever get married (me? the one who vowed to remain a virgin till i get a church wedding! farce! farce! farce! hahaha)

who knows wandering c...
love complicates things, it fucks up our lives.

Bino/Geno said...

So you're planning to stay with the same relationship and not marry?

DN said...

hehe. karamihan din sa mga tita ko, matandang dalaga. panu ba naman, inubos ang panahon sa pag-aalaga ng mga pamangkin. hehehe.

sperm bank? hehe. magandang idea 'yan! :)

Quentin X said...

i rather stay a part of a DINK (double income no kids).

Rice Gurl said...

marriage topic. uhm...
i'm not going to touch that.
anyway, we do have a sperm bank in manila. it is located at san marcelino st., malate manila. just get off at nakpil st.,and walk to the opposite direction. it's on the right side.
oh... i just took your idea seriously eh? -hah-ha!

William said...

"getting married is just a bonus of the entire partnership package" --- hmmm A small voice within me says otherwise, though i agree na ito na nga ang pinaka-consepto ng mga kabataan ngayon.

wanderingcommuter said...

ferbert: wow, bakit ka naman bitter?

amicus: kungsabagay, pero malay mo anak mo pala ang makaimbento ng sagot for global warming.

bk: well, siguro nga its never to late to find your own true love. but i still believe marriage doesn't complete it all.

yeah, and like porn stars we need to pretend we are liking it.

bino: if i will find happiness on that set up then why not?

dn: marahil nga yun ang natagpuan nilang sense of fulfillment. actually ganyan na ganyan ang nangyari sa tita ko rin. panganay din kasi so she carried all of the burden for her siblings up until now. until she just realized it was already her past marrying age. pero ulit, tulad nga ng comment ko kay bk, its never to late to find for true love. i am still crossing my fingers for her.

quentin x: well, thats a wonderful idea. thank god na rin whoever invented social security services!hehehe.

ricegurl: i am actually on my way off to the place and print out a copy of the directions. i am also taking it seriously. hehehe.

william: well soemthimes, newer genarations tend to formulate practical methods for their actaul determination and the survival of our society.

DN said...

"for her."

-------

ay. lesbiana ka pala. joke! :P

ako din i know na "her" din makakatuluyan ko, in the end.

wanderingcommuter said...

dn: sira! im referring to my aunt. hahaha!

CM Remarkable said...

"for her?" -- akala ko din ito ang special someone mo, haha.. ako kaya, sino kaya makatuluyan ko, hehehe..

wanderingcommuter said...

cm remarkable: naku, walang makakasagot niyan kundi ikaw lang. hehehe!

kalansaycollector said...

minsan ang pagiging single by choice din di ba?

ako hindi ko alam kung by fate or by choice yung akin. pft. ;p

wanderingcommuter said...

kalansay: tingin ko choice pa rin yan. hahaha.

DN said...

ay sori. haha. akala ko lesbiana ka rin. hehehe. :P

JOSH said...

me, im already decided to be single d rest of my life. i can have a special someone but it think by being single, i can die anytime i want to without leaving behind a wife and kids, hehehe.

Kiks Phulumulu said...

we acknowledge the importance of marriage in expressing just how farther up the himalayas our love is for the other. and the fact that when we fall down the said mountain, there is always divorce (sadly) awaiting at the foot.

and yes, check first if your sperm has heads. otherwise, walang sense kung meron mang sperm bank sa pilipinas. ;-)