for the first time again, i felt pure happiness, contentment and the simple feeling that i was reaffirmed of myself.
more than i thought it could be.
as every road meets its dead end
as much as i want to deny this, but by experience, it seemed like the point actually holds true if i am going to compare the relationships between my gay and lesbian friends. i counted and named gay and lesbian friends inside my head and what i found out was these:
generally, among my gay friends, their usual relationships last as fast as overnight to 5 months. although there are still few, which last more than a year or so. but comparing it to the number of my lesbian friends, the fastest i could remember last more than half a year and there were even some, who i knew way back from college, that are still together. one of them is running more than 6years in the record.
i realized that sometimes, as much as we want to be ideal and believe on people, we need to understand that we simply can't. their emancipation actually depends on themselves alone. there is nothing that we could really do than to show them the "harsh reality" that they too have contributed.
*hoping and believing that everyone deserves to be happy at the end, no matter what decision each one makes.
Doon lamang niya napagtanto na mas mapungay ang mga mata ng kabahay sa malapitan kahit nakapikit. Ang dalawang pares ng mga matang halos araw-araw niyang iniisip kung ano'ng tinatago. Ang kanyang mayabang na ilong na kung ilang beses na rin niyang inasam na padausdusan ng kanyang mga daliri hanggang sa marating at madampian ang mapupula nitong labi, na kay tagal naman niya'ng iniisip kung gaano kalambot.
Matagal pinihit ni Alex ang mga mata sa mukha ng nahihimbing na katabi, kinakabisado ang bawat kurba, anggulo hanggang sa pinakamaliit na detalyeng maaring ipagdamot ng dilim ay ginalugad niya. Ninanamnam at inangkin ang napakabihirang sandaling iyun. At sa muling pagkakataon, sinabi ni Alex sa sariling umiibig siya, at tulad din ng dati ay sa taong hindi dapat. Pero naisip niya, siguro sa ngayon ang mahalaga ay alam niyang importante sa kanya ang lalaki, na kinakailangan niyang matutunang ito'ng pahalagahan at tanggapin--- kahit duon lang, kahit mahirap.Dahan-dahang bubuhatin ni Alex ang braso ni Charles mula sa pagkakadantay. Pagkatapos ay maingat na pipihit patalikod. Subalit hindi niya malalamang didilat ang mga mata ni Charles pagkatalikod niya at pagmamasdan siya nito hanggang sa unti-unti siyang lamunin ng antok.
but the problem with this kind of stories, is that, by the time, the stories unfold infront of me, i find it really hard to detach myself. for some reason, as i take the same path they walk, i find the road ahead of me blur. it feels so confusing, that is as if you are bared to be naked and vulnerable. then the next thing you know, fear and hopelessness are knocking you down. thus, i admire these people who are brave enough to disclose their stories--- these kinds of stories. for i may not/never (but who knows) have it on me, i must say that i envy the courage and strength they have, to pull it out to other people, for other people to know, be aware, learn and practive. regardless if other people believe otherwise.
masalimuot ang kwento ng buhay ni marie, yung mga tipong pwedeng ipadala sa maalala mo kaya at papamagatang "lamat."isang malapit na kaibigan si marie nung nasa baguio pa ako. naging magkabahay kami, kahatian ng yosi, tagaluto ng pancit canton at hingahan ng mga problema: sa buhay, pera, lovelayp at maging sexlayp. halos kilala na nga namin ang isa't isa, na wala na kaming pwedeng matago pa.