Friday, February 1, 2008

"am i?"

indeed, there is no easy way of forgetting. but there is also no sense of recalling something that would just hurt you.

it was just now that i was informed that some of my friends actually see me as someone who has a heart as hard as portland cement and a mind that could format itself at will. i was actually surprised upon hearing this and eventually ask myself, "am i?"

i usually receive messages from my friends before asking me, how was i able to move on that easily? (yes, my friends, this is another of those mushy thing regarding love post!) and normally my instant response is, i just don't see the point of crying and making yourself depress after a night of mourning. for me, everything in life needs to move on. the world wouldn't stop at your knees, wait, and carry you over as you go ahead. most of the time, i just realized, it is actually us who holds ourselves from moving on. there is this unexplainable pleasure of reminscing the past and the fear of whats ahead even if it hurts us. we might say that such is probably the innate and unconscious masochist id within us. nonetheless, we should always put into mind that it should be the conscious side of moving on that overrules our unconscious baggages.

we are still the captain of our own ships. despite the fact, as mentioned by a blog that i've visited before (which i forgot the author), there are things that the heart feels that the mind could not rationalize.

now, as i think of my previous relationships, they are just mobile numbers accented with certains memories in my phone that should no longer be taken with great weights. waiting that someday, i will receive a message with their names and number flashing on my screen, stating that "can we be friends?". so that i could prove to my friends that i am not really that apathetic.

"wanna talk it over a bottle of beer?"

10 comments:

DN said...

hehe. astig. kelangan ko pa praktisin ang moving on skills ko. hahahaha.

Bulaang Katotohanan said...

love makes a fool out of everybody, it is irrationality itself.

pero moving on to moving on...

walang kasing hirap especially kung wala kang matinong support system at productive activity at ang special place kung saan ikaw ay pwedeng ngumawa at maging sarili mo.

tama ka...sakin din numero na lang sila.

Bino/Geno said...

I don't know why I have such a hard time moving on. I do pretty well in the cement-heart department. Hehe. I just find it hard to swallow the fact that the person you are with for a long time will not be there anymore.

Mel said...

tulad ng sinabi mo sa akin, the best way to move on is to not think that you are moving on... mahirap nga naman gawin, mas ok pa rin kung iinom na lang ng beer ito!

apir~

err, tagal ka na hindi naglalagay ng mga pictures mo sa iyong "wanderings" hehe

Pathbinder said...

"i just don't see the point of crying and making yourself depress after a night of mourning"

I agree, but just because you are like that doesn't mean that you are cold-hearted. Maybe spend a day with the problem and afterwards, forget about it as if it never happened, that's the way, right? People don't need to carry a burden throughout their life when they encounter it.

P.S. I'm really glad that now I know there are other people who "move on" quickly, like me. :D

wanderingcommuter said...

bulaangkatotohanan: well, i think that is because sometimes being inlove is being self less and being self less is something we always see as something stupid.
indeed, you need to atleast make yourself busy or do something that would shy you away from thinking it.
galing!!! tama! baka yan nga ay isang magandang paraan upang malimutan ang gunggong!
Dn: hahaha. praktisin talaga?! its all the mind, dude. or pwede rin its all in the heart! nayahaha.
bino/geno: probably pareho tayo. oh well, it is a process. sometimes that realization would just basically would lose its weight. though i am not sure if this is because i have totally moved on or i just got numb on that feeling. naks!
mel: that is because my camera phone and memory card for my camera broke. argh! tama, iinom mo na lang yan! hahaha. but try reading the latest post---i think. malapit na ulit.
pathbinder: hahaha! exactly, apir tayo jan. teka, ganun na ba ka rare ang mga taong madaling mag move on? so endangered specie na pala tayo. hahaha!

DN said...

kelangan kasi maging overnight rin lang ang processing ko nito kagaya mo. hehehe ^^

wanderingcommuter said...

hala! hindi ko naman po sinabi na overnight lang yun. hehehe. kanya-kanyang moving on lang yan. don't pressure yourself too much. maasim ang isang prutas na hinihinog sa pilit! hahaha...talking about analogy!

Coldman said...

sa kin mahirap mag move on lalo na't sobra kang nagmahal, e ano namang magagawa natin kung wala na talaga. Kung ayaw nya, wag na nating ipilit.

Putik! ang drama ko. Hahahaha!

wanderingcommuter said...

coldman: i know what you are feeling, coldman...
tatlong beses kung inisip kung ipopost ko ito. hahaha!