Friday, October 31, 2008

no one mess with the ewik

hindi ko maintindihan sa kabila ng dami ng pampublikong mga sasakyan, marami pa rin ang mga nagmamadaling at nauubusan ng masasakyan. minsan, kahit nga bawal, pinipilit pa rin makauwi lang.

sa pagkakaalam ko, dito sa maynila, pinagbabawala ang pagsabit sa mga sasakyan. marahil kung sa probinsya lamang namin ito naka kahit sa top load pwede ka'ng sumakay at pwamis kakaiba ang feeling. meron pala talaga siguro sa ating mge "emo self" yung kahit sa sandaling yun ay mas mataas at mabilis ka sa iba. naks, mara clara po pala ito---inaapi!

pero siyempre hindi ito probinsiya---maynila ito. dito, hindi mo mararamdaman na mataas at mabilis ka sa ibang tao kapag sumakay ka sa top load. bagkus, mararamdaman mo'ng mas nakakaawa ka sa iba. imaginin mo na lang ang dumi mo pagbababa mo, teng! daig mo pa ang taong grasa sa dilim este itim!



honestly, hindi ako marunong sumabit. bukod kasi sa hindi ganun kalakas ang grip at kasteady ang balance ko, pasmado pa po ang kamay ko. minsan, inatake ako ng pagiging gentleman sa probinsiya at pinaupo ko yung matandang babae na nagtitinda ng hipon sa timba. si manang naman kasi kahit alam ng puno okay lang daw na tumayo na lang siya sa may pinto. siyempre hindi naman yun kinaya ng konsensya ko, kaya sumabit na lang ako.


eh first time kong sumabit yun... HOOOWWOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!!! nanginig ang tuhod ko at siyempre dahil probinsya yun, parang iyo lang talaga ang kalsada, walang trapik at ugali ng mga jeepny driver na makipag unahan sa isa't isa. opo, kung akala niyo killer bus lang sa metro manila ang ganid sa pasahero, wait lang kayo kapag nakakita kayo ng mini-killer 6 seater jeepny sa probinya... nag iiSLASH siya, hindi lang cut, ISLASH!

yun ang unang pagkakataon na hiniling ko na sana matrapik kami! dahil nag iislide na talaga ang namamasang kamay kooooooooooo.... aggggguuuuuyyyyy....


parang eksena sa pelikula na mahuhulog sa cliff ang iyong love of your life at pinipilit mo sa siyang isave. pero unti-unting nadudulas ang kamay niyo sa isa't-isa hanggang sa makakabitaw ka, mahuhulog siya ta habambuhay mo'ng dadalhin ang guilt na yun.


GANUN!!! ang pakiramdam! iisipin mo na sana hindi ako naghuhugas agad ng kamay matapos...



balik usapan.


kahapon, nakakita ako ng isang grupo ng mga taong nag aabang ng masasakyan. may lalaking, mukhang hindi magpapatalo kanino, si miss na tinanggal na ang high heels para sa dadaan na masasakyan, si manong na naka pambalya pose na... pagdating ng jeep... karipas sila. mahampas ang mahampas, masipa ang masipa, mabalya ang mabalya... kesehodang mabayagan, madakmaan ng suso, masapak sa mukha, mamudmod sa kilikili ng iba, basta ang makasakay.

ganito ang eksena sa rush hour!


at kung nagtataka kayo kung ano ang kinalaman ng mga pictures sa taas...


kasi si cute manong na nakasabit kahit pantalon sumasabit sa pwet... nag wewedgy lang siya at pinagmamasdan namin sya ng kaibigan ko habang hirap na hirap siya at sumidiskarte kung papaano niya tatanggalin yung kinakain ng pwet niya.


uyyy siyempre babalikan mo naman... hahaha...

kahapon din, nalaman ko ang isa sa pinakamalungkot na bagay tungkol sa akin galing sa isang doctor. gusto ko'ng maiyak ng sinabi niya yun sa akin habang nakahiga ako sa kama at may oxygen mask sa mukha. pero kinailangan ko'ng magpakatatag, alam ko'ng isa muli itong pagsubok.

sabi niya, hindi na daw ako pwede uminom dahil sa hyper tension ko. ooohhh yes, sa edad ko'ng 23 may hypertension na ako. hindi ko man alam kung ano yun, feeling ko its something grave kasi matagal ko na palang nararamdaman ang symptoms hindi pa ako nagpapacheck up. PANALO!

not to mention pa ang life style ko na naknaknakan nang HEALTHY!!!

so, starting today, less fats, more fruits, less smoke and no drinking na...

yup, you heard it right!!! no drinking muna! i need to... sad to say.

but atleast i had fun with my last drinking session because someone mess with the ewik.

.

..

...

cause no one mess with the EWIK.

cause this what happens to them.




HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS GUYS!!!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

when work talks

"do you remember a single day that i didn't tell you that i don't want to go to work?"

i am into it again, thinking of quitting my current job. the feeling is almost exactly the same as when i was with my previous work. although, the current is way better than my previous company, in terms of a million of things: salary, incentives, work load and even my interaction with my colleagues. but still, i keep on looking for something that will truly make me stay.

promotion? no, thank you. i don't want to put more baggages on my shoulder.
love life? can you just encash it?
additional bonuses and packages? i already have a complete set of the company's freebies and samples.
trip to any destination of your station? like how many miles are talking here? hehehe.

"there is a big difference between work and job. work is something that you do because you are force to do it. while a job is something, that despite of its disadvantages, you still do it because of the simple reason that you like doing it."

last monday, i met with some friends for coffee, a popular way of saying updating one another. then, i noticed the watch one of the guys was wearing. it was trendy and hip. so i asked him where did he get it. then he pouted his lips and pointed it to one of our friends. then the rest was the history, the next thing i knew i was creating an online shop. the result is promising.

"i feel envious with trees because they manage to grow and blossom eventhough they are just standing in one place," mugen.

a friend (?) taught me in essense that in life, it is not easy to achieve things you wanted them to be. you always need to comprise something in order to live with a part of that goal that you are wanting or better yet, needing.

as unfair as it may sound, that is how life goes. we may have our own riskful decisions, unbreakable determination and outstanding instruments to nail it, but still, it doesn't spell any guarantee. nonetheless, i am not going to be eaten out by my own pessimisms.

i can say that i am more determined and wiser than before. probably, just waiting for the perfect timing. i have already learned my lessons you know: never swivel a life turning point just because you woke up in the wrong side of the bed because you will end up broke for two famishing months. i have my plans and so far, i don't want to spill it out. as we say it in our place, "baka maudlot" (it may not push through).


let's just cross our fingers and give it a high toast!


and by the way, someone is going to go down!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

makateng kape: dahil bastos daw ang bibig ko

mahirap sabihin kung anong partikular na kape ang paborito ko. napakahaba naman kasi ng pwedeng pagpilian. may caffe latte, americano, barako, arabika, java, espresso, cappucino, at patuloy na darami pa sa ngalan ng kitang papasok sa mga coffee shops. amen!

kadalasan, kapag papasok ako sa isang coffee shop, nakadepende ang oorderin ko sa panahon, sa mood, sa pangangailangan, sa haba ng oras na gusto ko'ng ilagi (para sa kanilang wi-fi) at siyempre sa perang dala ko. wala akong "usual" na inoorder. kaya minsan naiingit din ako kapag naririnig kong tinatanong ang customer na nasa harapan ko nang, "the usual mam/sir?" parang ang ranya pakinggan: parang ang three word question na iyun ay awtomatic ng sasabihin ang class status ng bibili.


*kapag sumagot ng yes at ang binigay ay brewed coffee (regardless kung anong size), usually matatandang mayaman na makikibasa lang ng dyaryo habang hinihintay ang asawa o anak na matapos ang weekly or monthly grocery o shopping.


**kapag frappuccino (na madalas venti o biggest size) naman, kadalasan dalawa lang yan, mga yuppies (young professionals) na gustong sulitin ang wi-fi ng cafe o mga magkakaibigan doing there regular relationship-sex-life updates, tsismisan ang tawag kung masa o mahirap ka.


***kapag hot brews naman like cafe latte, americano etc., kadalasan, mga professionals na "to-go" ang mga ito. dumaan lang para mag gising ng mga cells bago pumasok, o di kaya naman ay mga medical o law students na masigasig sa pag aaral (ehem...ehem)


****samantalang sa mga nag iiced tea o fruit juice/shake, ito ay yung mga pa demour o allergic sa kape-type na customer.


pero siyempre meron din naman mga exception to the rule, partikular duon ang mga tipo ng customer na bumibili lang sa mga unang araw ng katapusan at kinsenas. tapos bigla na lang mawawala pagdating ng ikalawang linggo (lusot ang mga empleyadong biweekly ang sahod). mahirap ng mag explain, kaya i gets niyo na lang.subalit dahil pabibo akong bata, hindi ko masasabing mayroon akong the usual na order. madalas gusto ko'ng magpanggap na coffee expert kahit dalawang beses lang naman ako nagkakape sa isang araw. 3-in-1 pa. lalo na kapag pinasisiklaban pa ako ng barista ng mabilis at canned na english, naku lalo akong ginaganahan pahirapan sila. may mga pagkakataon kasi lalo na kapag walang ginagawa sa opisina ay nagbrobrowse ako ng mga coffee websites at sinusundan ang mga flow charts na pwede mo'ng orderin. mga tipong one macchiatto frappucino, decaf, unsweetened, coffee based grande. kung anong lasa nun? ayus naman... dahil sa katotohanan naman tulad ng beer, kahit hindi naman talaga masarap ang iniinom, napapainom ka pa rin dahil ang habol ay hindi kung ano ang pinapasok mo sa bibig mo kundi ay yung lumalabas dito at ang mga naririnig ng mga tenga mo: "its the talk," pare. ika nga ng isang kaibigang na nagwawala kapag nakainom at nagsisisi sa mga ginagawa kinaumagahan pero umiinom pa rin.


mahirap ideconstruct ang mga tao sa loob ng mga coffee shop lalo pa't unti-unti na itong nagiging kulturang popular. kahit mga pulubi paboritong tambayan na rin ang mga coffee shop at iniinom ang kung anuman ang natitira sa mga naiwang basyo. dito na rin sila nagkwekwentuhan, nagyoyosi at namamalimos. believe it or not, mahiwaga ang mga coffee shops. para ka'ng pumapasok sa ibang dimensyon kapag nakatengga ka dito. sabi nga ni bob ong, kapag pumapasok ka ng starbucks, seattle's best o anuman coffee shop, dinadala ka nito sa new york, paris, london at iba pang lugar maliban sa pilipinas...



o di ba, parang tanga lang walang sense yung pinost ko... hahaha!


Tuesday, October 28, 2008

the anthropologist in me

one of my anthropology professor, dr. june prill-brett (who i also consider as my personal anthropology icon), once said in our class that the cordilleran societies are not patriarchal societies.

based from her previous cultural studies regarding gender relations and issues among the cordillerans, she have noticed that men and women actually share an equitable position from one another. this conclusion draws from the political roles that gender plays in their communities (which basically determines who-dominates-who across all human groups).

politically, male elders dominate the dap-ay* meetings, where they discuss issues in their village, while the rest of the members are watching. on the other hand, women dominate the economic side through rice field works. but since most societies, including us, defines the gender hierarchy based from whose gender holds the power to decide (politically), cordillerans societies are popularly deemed as patriarchal.

but through her extensive research, she learned that these male elders who attend dap-ay meetings happen to have their opinions and decisions already in scripts. she knew about this, when she integrated her study among male leaders' homes and found out that the elders' wives are actually the ones who teach their husbands of what to say and what to decide. afterwards, the wives sit near the dap-ays to listen and make sure that the scripts are properly followed. if not, non-verbal communications are sent out by the wives to their husband through eye contatcs, gestures etc.

from here, we can argue that cordilleran societies observe what can be called as a pseudo-patriarchy. nonetheless, it should also be noted that this doesn't put women members in a position higher than the men either. for each gender has its own significant role in order for the society to survive. cordilleran men and women are not equal rather they are equitable to each other.

following the theory above, the same applies to the wood carvings in my previous post. the phallicism of a society or the adoration to the phallus or male organ doesn't necessarily equate to patriarchy. infact, the emergence of wooden phallus doesn't even have any association to the cordilleran culture. it actually reflects the culture outside it.

when i came in baguio in 2002, i noticed that the most awaited event here is the panagbenga or the flower festival. this is the time when bus and hotel reservations are always full: you can barely walk along session road because of the people's volume: it is so freaking hard to find a cab and wallets temporarily loss their essence. but it was the first time i watched the street parade that caught my attention. i have noticed that regardless how spectular the passing flower floats are, the loudest cheer arises by the time the local delegation, wearing their cultural attire, passes the crowd. it saddens me to hear that these people, mostly tourist, would shout, "oh look at how dark his **** is," or "i managed to peek at his **** and s/he didn't even mind shaving."

it saddens me, not because i feel the embarassment of the cordillerans having to wear those "g-strings", rather i find it more humilliating to my fellow non-cordillerans who acts like people who crave for phallus: talking about who is more civilized.

obviously, it seemed like i am not the first or the only person who noticed this. from the looks of it, a smart-ass entrepreneur have used this behaviour from these tourist and made it as a business. thus, we have these wooden penis key chains, man-in-the-barrel souveneirs, bulols with penis on it etc. i believe that these objects don't really tell us anything about patriarchy in the cordillera. rather it is more a commercial move to attract potential buyers and show how lustful these people are.

to conclude, the presence of phallic symbols in a particular society doesn't necessarily mean that it is a patriarchal one. most of the time, we really need to dwell thoroughly on what is hiding at the back of what we are seeing to find out the "truth." who knows, we may find out that we, lowlanders are also non-patriarchal and don't actually have any concept of gender--- yeah right! *dap-ay is a circular stone seats where the heart of all religious, political and cultural life of a village is being discussed.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

another gloomy sunday evening

the moon was already at its peak. but i could tell from the looks of it, it would be a gloomy sunday evening.

we were walking along ayala avenue, bearing the moment of not touching hands---afraid of being caught by someone who knows us and most importantly those who don't. its one of those devastating feeling, if you ask me, the feeling of being vulnerable.


source


at that moment, all i could do is to surrender myself to the luring serenity of the place and walk silently until we reach our destination. then, LB finally broke the silence and said,

"the place is barely deserted as if we own it."

i wanted to affirm the thought, atleast to believe that we really do and put a smile on our faces and attached it with sweet words, saying how romantic it was. but i couldn't find any way to express it, from which my heart will agree. i realized that it was the only thing in this world not worth owning--- the feeling of loneliness despite you are with someone.

how can i say that we own the place, if both of us could not even feel each other's hands? if we are both paranoid about so many things that might come ahead of us? i know that we have the option of not minding whatever will come our way.

but i guess, it is indeed, easily said than done.

Friday, October 24, 2008

baguio: too much phallicism?

noong una ko'ng nakita ang mga wooden penis key chain at man in the barrel na souveneirs sa baguio, akala ko for commercial purpose lamang ito at walang direct cultural reflection para sa mga taga dito.
source

source
subalit ng nakita ko ang mga bulol na ito: napaisip ko, for commercial purpose na lang ba talaga ito?


tulad ng naunang post: no comment pa rin ako.
tam-awan artist village, baguio cityhuli ka, balbon!!!
Oh My Gulay restaurant session road, baguio city

uhhh... uhuh?!
oh my gulay restaurant too... ang gargoyle na may attitude
seen in one of the native houses in tam-awan artist village



o malibog este malisyoso lang talaga ako?

tingin mo?!?

*may idea ako pero gusto ko muna malaman ang idea mo...

Thursday, October 23, 2008

emo everywhere

kinailangan ko lang umalis sa lungsod at bumalik muli sa aking sanktwaryo, baguio.

at ngayon ako'y nagbalik, kailangan happy mood na naman tayo

at ito ang isa sa mga nadala ko'ng nagpangiti sa akin...



dito sa baguio, kahit jeepny driver, emo! hehehe...

naisip ko tuloy magkano kaya?


at ilang sessions ang treatment?

****, kelangan mo nito... hahaha

biro lang!








samantalang sa ukay-ukay, kahit bra ay hindi tinitira.




no comment.



*naging mainit ang labanan sa aking nakaraan... kaya kailangan munang ngumiti kahit papaano.

Monday, October 20, 2008

signs of mediocracy

marcel mauss, an anthropologist said, gifts are never "free". Rather, human history is full of examples that gifts give rise to reciprocal exchange.
if someone gave you something and you asked "why?" and "for what occasion?", never bite the answer, "nothing, i just feel like giving you a gift."
one way or another all of us never give something out of nowhere. admit it or not, we have our own direct or indirect intentions and reasons why we do such. everything should be reciprocated especially among us, filipinos, because of the concept of utang na loob or gratitudeness which is highly observed among us.i have been maintaining this blog site for almost two years now and i can say that i am pretty much familiar about the psyche of each bloggers that pass and go this site.
there are two kinds of bloggers in this virtual sphere. the one who writes for the sake of writing and expressing themselves. while the other one are those who only want to be popular through writing and expressing themselves. see the difference? the former are the ones who write remarkably and read other posts seriously. they are the kind of readers that you would want to have and keep because they would definitely give you remarks that you rightfully deserve. they would not hesistate to give you kudos if you did a great job and criticize up to the smallest details if you fail.while the latter are those who you can tag as mediocres (excuse me, for being too blatant). for them, what matters is not the topic or content of what they are writing but the number of hits or visits and comments they will get. these are the people who has the mindset that, if i visit you, you visit me as well.from defining the two, i couldn't tell which i am classified and probably neither do you. call me in denial, but who cares. hehehe.i think the interesting part of these is determining and sorting out which blogger remains and who just passes by and i actually have my five signs in my list.
5. the papapampam. some would definitely identify themselves in your cbox. eg. hi there! just hopping by. without leaving a comment on your post. from there you'll already know that that person didn't even bothered reading or scanning your site. papampam is papansin (bagong word na natutunan ko. hehehe).
4. the conceited!! they will ask you for ex-link at the first visit and its like asking for kiss in your first date--- ACKWARD!!!yung mga tipong kapag sinearch mo sa dictionary name nila nakalagay ang picture nila sa tabi ng word at sa synonyms, ang blog site nila.
3. the ass kisser. "you have a nice page here," "you are one remarkable writer" and everything that you would think of that would make your ego blast from here to the nearest star.bakit ass kisser? huwag ka magtagalog. bawal magtagalog? oo, bawal! ha? eto iodized salt. papakin mo muna.
2. after the ass kissing lines they would ask you to visit their blog as well. after that you'll wish that they will be recognize by blogger.com as a spammer and block them forever.
1. some will bother leaving a comment. but it will either be another one liner ass kissing statement or something not even engaging a conversation like good! great! nice post... as if someone taught them that comments should always be in a positive tone.
*if you're one of these. please just spare me my site...

Saturday, October 18, 2008

the typical day

"now, i am starting to believe that location has indeed a major effect among gay people."
"why did you say so?"
"believe me, gay people in makati are vicious (mabangis, being the exact word used) compare to the gay people elsewhere.""blame it to the metropolitan life."
"probably, kuya jo told me yesterday that when he went to makati to fetch for something. while he was waiting for the person who will deliver his stuff, a gay guy across the other table of the fast food chain, just literally stared at him from head to foot and would not just let go. in a way, he felt harrassed especially when the guy give him a nod and gave a gesture pointing to somewhere."
" what did kuya jo do?"
"he gave him the finger."
"well, i think that was rude."
"staring at someone to begin with is already rude. obviously, i have nothing against gay people. but the problem of some of us is that they just don't know how to respect other people's boundaries."
"i am with you. respect begets respect. there is a thin line between being liberal and being disrespectful."
"exactly. not because he dresses as such, moves as such and even thinks as such, he or she is already one. so they should stop assuming that everyone is like them and more importantly, every gay guy is always into sex. i dunno, probably, i am just tired of all these. i think that some gay people should begin growing up for not everything in life is all about it. you know what? i am even starting to believe that probably the reason why most people still don't accept homosexuality is because of these people themselves. as you have said yourself, respect begets respect and its just frustrating to know that while some people are advocating for gender yadidi-yadada, there are some who drags the entire thing down. what aggravates it more is the irony that it is so hard to push something up but it is so easy to drag it down and don't tell me its gravity, you, smart ass!"
"well, gay people are still people. and like any other people, they are also sexual beings and even commit the same mistake. probably, the first thing that we need to recognize is we have to stop thinking that sexual assaults are only isolated to gay people. from there, i believe that homophobia and discrimination will be eradicated or atleast minimize"
"i must agree. but the thing is almost everyone in the gay community is perfectly aware of the discrimination that faces them everyday. but if there are still some gay people who keeps on staining the better impression and image that everybody is building, basically, everything will just be put into waste."
"hey! here goes my bus. until tomorrow aron!""later, ewik."



*just a typical day, whenever ewik and aron meet under the same waiting shed in ayala.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

what is inside my movie, is talent

he is there again sitting on the usual seat outside the coffee shop. he has a light skin, medium built with a bulge of prominent belly flabs hanging inside his body-hugging shirt, his face is covered with well outlined facial hair and having his usual order, a cup of brewed coffee. he has the eyes that dances as fast as a bee, moving in every direction of that exposed corner, as if looking for something or probably, waiting for someone.
i often see this man every night, whenever i pass by gateway and probably if you'll pass there tonight, you'll see him as well. the man is hard to miss since the coffee shop is just standing right infront of the escalator going to the exit heading to the other mall and he usually sit just beside the cafe's door.
i am thinking he would probably knew me by now, since he often catches me staring at him whenever i pass by. but don't get me wrong. i am not into mall hook ups (that is so harrison mall 1991) nor i am interested to him. let's say, he just catch my attention and trigger my imaginative story telling side. or probably, i have just watch too much movies that i often look at him as if i am watching inside a movie screen.
i remember the first time i saw him. he was with a group of men, happy talking to one another. there was an old man, older than the rest and two other younger guys, which is safe to say younger than him. from the looks of it, the older guy is gay. while the two younger guys were straight. a stereotypical scene of talent scouts and talents, if you've once worked in the compound of abs-cbn.
our mystery guy was talking with the older guy. while the two younger fellows were indeed good in their craft, acting or may i say, pretending as if they were listening. from that brief moment, i already have my prologue of the movie that i am mounting inside my head. but the what i thought to be as a one time big time short film actually gave way to a sequel (probably because the movie became a big hit for my brain cells).
the next night, i saw him again. this time, with the old guy alone. our mystery guy was still talking to him. but it seemed like the scout's attention was not on his. but to the busy crowd passing across them. he was scouting for potential looks este talents, basing from his eye movements (well, i just hope he wouldn't see me--- i remember telling that to my conceited ego). there is always an episode for each night that i see him. probably because his eyes also changes as a new moon rises. quite poetic huh?! the guy was no longer there on the next night. but reappeared again after a couple or so. this time, he was alone again. call me, over rated. but there was something in his eyes that was indeed bothering. it seemed extremely sad. there goes your climax.
when i resigned in my previous company, it took my current job before i could pass by the same mall again and that was more than two months. during that time of extreme bumness, where my tv and bed were the only friends i had, i saw our mystery man as an extra in one of the shows in abs-cbn called my girl.
my suspicions were indeed correct after all. he played as the owner of an expensive car that kim chiu's dad was trying to repair but accidentally bump against another car in the shop. after a minute of exaggerated furious drama, i never saw him again in that show nor any other show in that network.
then, on the very first night of my new work, i got the chance to pass by the mall again. as expected, the man was still there, sitting on the same seat outside the coffee shop. he still has that light skin and medium built. although his belly flabs inside one of his collection of body-hugging shirts were more prominent than the last time. he also grew longer facial hair that already covered his once well-outlined shave, sipping his usual cup of brewed coffee.
nonetheless, it was his eyes again that catched my attention. but he stared differently that night. i felt as if it was stabbing me as i stood patiently on the escalator, waiting for my flight to reach his floor. i could say that it was way deeper and unrevealing, as if conceiling a disastrous secret which i later on chose not to explore anymore. i felt that he wanted me to peek inside his life as a talent, as a man who forever seeks and wins the attention of talent scouts and so many other people.
then, i realized that he is only one among the millions who seek stardom and popularity in this vicious world they kept on denying its reality but call it as show business.
that night, i decided to finish the film inside of my head, open-endedly. because for the first time, i felt scared that i might uncover something that i might regret at the end: something that might cost all my tears. i feared that it might end like most of the films i loved, trageic and not your typical happy-ending story. but the only difference is, it was in real life (which it is not suppose to).

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

why rent?

lately, i kept on ranting to dabo* and kuya joms how i hated going to work. dabo's usual reply and famous line would always be, "work pays the rent."
then just tonight, i remembered this commercial from the national housing authority, where a woman asked her husband, who was furious with their landlady because of frequent house rent increase,"habambuhay na lang ba tayong mangungupahan?"
although, i am not really a strong believer of the government's endless promises and hypnotic junks, the question moved me in a way.
i remembered a period in my life, where i was so hooked into this business-oriented show in rpn 9, go negosyo, where i would literally wake up before the show begins. sometimes its even out of will. the obssession was not only because of its charming hosts nor the fact that its not favorable to sleep under a hot manila afternoon, but also because the show is really engaging and inspiring.
they have this one episode that i will never forget, where they interviewed a successful filipino entrepreneur (i forgot the name though). the man said that one reason why there are only a number of successful businessmen in the country is because filipinos are "culturally not risk takers". they are more comfortable being employees. since being one, would only require them to work their asses and then just expect their salary every 15th and 30th day of the month. in a way, what he said is actually true and has a point. i thought, probably the riskiest and most common thing that most filipino venture, is opening up a sari-sari store.
for most of us, we are scared of failures and even more afraid with the idea that we may not be able to stand in our feet anymore once we fall, atleast financially.
i would not deny the fact that i am one of them. honestly, i would probably be one of the most unconfident person that you'll ever meet. but please don't give me your alms--- yet.
i eat, drink, and live with "constructive" criticisms all my life, that i already forgot how to accept compliments. this eventually reared me, unconsciously, to be a perfectionist, as much as i want to deny it. i do appreciate the things that i have done. but by the time i would compare it to another person's work, that is the time that i am bombarding myself with the mistakes and flaws. then insecurities will just follow.
a year ago, a friend manage to see the compilation of my art works and liked it.
then she asked, "are you selling your pieces?"
i said "no."
she asked, "why?"
i told her, "would you sell a piece of your memory that already became a piece of yourself?"
she didn't answer my question. but told me that her fiance's family business is into art exhibits. she offered me a venue and equipments for free. but i didn't answer her (as well).
now, burnt out of the things i do at work, i am already considering the invitation. i realized that i need to stop being sentimental about things of my past and begin creating new ones from the things that is ahead of me.


*i don't know why i don't call him kuya? baka kasi offending saka compliment sa kanya yun. since he's older than kuya joms... HAHAHA! its back, DABO, ITS BACK!!!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

pots

one day, a woman, who came gathering berries from the woods was approached by a potter, who was carrying a load of clay pots. the potter asked for the woman's help to carry just one medium sized clay pot until she return back from the next village. the old lady potter said that she was already at the verge of collapsing if she will still continue to carry all of it and she desperately needs to deliver those pots before the sun sleeps.
the woman reached and looked at the pot. the pot was astounding. it was covered with a very intricate floral details that no common potter could create. from the look of the pots, the woman could tell that it was very well made and expensive.
then the woman looked at the old potter. she looks very old and exhausted. though she has a very touching smile that covers her weary face. the woman seeing the old potter's situation could not refuse to help her. so she carried the pot and promised to wait.
but the moon was already at its peak. while the stars were started beaming at ther as if watching her in the dark . but not a single trace of the old woman's shadow could be found.
the woman was already panicking. she needs to be home immediately because her family is waiting for the dinner that she have gathered. but she was torn with the promise she have sworn to the old potter.if she will leave the pot on the place where they have met and run to her family, someone might pass along and pick it up. but if she will wait for the old potter to come back, her family might starve. if you are the woman, what will you do?
***
most of us will claim that patience is a virtue. it gives positive promises for those who are willing to wait. but i always believe otherwise.
i don't agree with the saying promises are made to be broken. on the other hand, i believe that we need to seize one's life by the moment, for there are a lot of other people who are also wanting the same opportunity one may have.
"the world will never stop revolving just to wait for a person to catch up," as f. sionil jose said. it will keep on revolving regardless how much or what it will cost you. all of us need to move with it, but not necessarily moving in the same current.
in life there are two kinds of promise breakers. the first are the people who sworn a promise just for the sake of promising. usually, these are the type of people who just give out promises that doesn't really have any weight or value for them, in order to acquire or avoid someone or something. then break it eventually.
while the other kind of promise breakers are people who sworn their word with all honesty. but because of unforeseen turn of events, they are forced to break the promise after weighting that the latter event is more crucial than the former.
right? just trying to justify something.

Friday, October 10, 2008

the last cigarette stick

after packs and packs of cigarettes, i found one stick in a crumpled and forgotten pack inside my pocket. for me, this kind of cigarette is the kind of stick that stands out from the rest. probably because, it just appear whenever you need it, especially if you are at the peak of your craving. but it was already stale and lost its stiffness in my pocket. i was actually having second thoughts, if i would still light it or not. since i always prefer my cigarettes like there fresh from a newly opened box. but then i realized that the store is a couple of blocks far and i am not sure if its still open during this wee hour of dusk.
i didn't have any choice and smoking is already something that i could not resist. i could say that the vise basically, defined me who i already became. as much as i wanted to resist it.
so, i just carefully pinch the cigarette's empty tip, gently slide it between my fingers and violently pound it on my other thumb continuously.
i never thought that the sensation it will create was this massive. until i could no longer stopped myself from vigorously hitting it, over and over, from tip to base, on my other thumb, in the gentlest way possible because i was scared that i might break it in half.
as my finger gently stroked the stick, i could clearly feel the hollow spaces running across it and the movement of the stale tobacco leaves as it filled up those gaps. but it was the friction my fingers created against the thin paper sheet that i really loved. it was beyond words, if you'll ask me.
then, i didn't notice that its been a while since i started doing it. but i was still not stopping. i even caught myself staring blankly in the empty bed as i continuously pounding the cigarette. i never pounded that hard before, probably, the hardest pound i did so far. it was the kind of pounding that would rattle any body's chest: creating a beat that no one will ever forget. it has the rhythm that you'll never miss and makes you start questioning yourself for what is actually happening.
the sun was already up when i realized that the empty space from the tip is almost quarter of the entire stick. i felt my mouth turned dryer than the sahara, that even if i wet it with my tongue, the moist would just not stay put. so finally, i have decided that i need to taste and enjoy the fruit of my labor. i softly twist its ending and reached the waiting lighter on the table.
the lighter instantly emitted fire when i pushed it as if it understood the craving that i long kept. i excitedly drew it near to the stick as i felt its mild warmth soothing my cold and trembling face. then i gently place the cigarette butt on my dry lip and hold it with my teeth as if it was the most delicate thing on earth. there, i unleashed the hardest sip i have made.
i felt a rich cloud of smoke filled my palette, brushed across my throat and filled my chest. i wanted to keep it inside, as if i don't want to let it go anymore. but i know, i have to let it go for it will eventually choke and even worst kill me.
smoking could not be any person's gourmet for it has this hurting kick once it entered your body. you could clearly feel how it creeps inside and gradually rotting whatever come its way. but for some, just like me, it is actually that unexplainable pain that makes one realize its hidden irrational pleasure. the pleasure that creates that insatiable craving to smoke more.
i softly burst it out. a thin and sharp sheet of white smoke flew like a blade that sliced the monotony of the room. the pleasure was indispensable that i already loss count of how many blows i made. until the last puff made me realize that it was already my queue to kill the stick before it totally burn my lips. i crushed the struggling fire on the steel ashtray and pushed it as hard as i can until the remaining life of the cigarette disappeared.
i smelled a familiar scent. but i am not sure if it was coming from the dying cigarette. it was a concoction of drenching stink and a mundane musk that i couldn't remember where i have met before. it filled the entire room and even sat on my soaking pants. the scent eventually subsided, probably, erased all trace of other scents inside.
then i rest my back on my chair and stared blankly again in the now occupied bed.
i told myself, "too bad, he missed the tastiest stick, one can ever have."

Thursday, October 9, 2008

the sound of the busy streets

in these busy streets where everything seem to be in fast pace. all of us are bombarded with so many things. yet we are just focus on where we are heading, how to get there and what to do there. in effect, we fail to notice many simple things that make us realize how and what life really is.

yesterday was my off and i was able to get off my usual routine. ofcourse, with the help of one good soul. i went for dinner in antipolo, based from the suggestions of friends that the place will definitely remind me of baguio that it really did. then we went to ortigas, grab a large cup of coffee and an early breakfast.

while i was on my way to start the adventure, i decided to partially shut off my focus on what i am seeing and focused my senses on what i will just hear, just for a change, i thought. i really didn't mind if i am already late or what.

"friend, ano ba yan?! ang tigas na naman ng utong ko. ang kapal na nga ng bra na sinuot ko bakat pa rin. punyeta talaga dahil ang sakit niya!"
-sabi isang babae sa kasama niya habang naglalakad sa department store at inaayos ang loob ng bra.

"good evening mam, good evening sir. welcome to burgoo!"-sabi ng waitress sa tapat ng nasabing kainan. halatang kanina pa siya nakatayo at sumisigaw dahil wala na ang masiglang ngiti sa mukha niya na lagi kong nakikita tuwing umaga.

"naku, punta na ako abroad pagkatapos nito. wala akong mapapala dito. magpapakayaman muna ako tapos saka na ako magiging makabayan."-sabi ng isang nursing student sa kapwa niya estudyante, mula sa isang unibersidad sa recto. batay sa uniformeng suot nila habang nakasakay sa LRT2.

"ano ba yan? bakla ka'ng naturingan, pero isa pa lang ang natsutsupa mo."-sabi ng isang lalaki sa kaopisinang bakla sa jolibee- emerald.

"pupunta ka singapore tapos magtratrabaho ka. sabihin na nating 50000-60000 ang swe-swelduhin mo pero ang gastos mo malaki din. e di ganun lang din yun. tapos malalayo ka pa sa pamilya mo. huwag na uy!"-sabi ng isang call center agent sa mga katrabaho habang kumakain sa mcdo sa ortigas.

"nakita mo na ba yung bagong billboard ni dingdong dantes sa guadalupe... ang LAKI na naman. feeling ko kapag nalaos siya tiyak may career siyang babagsakan. babalik na naman ang ST at i can't wait!"-sabi ng isang grupo ng mga graveyard shift workers na pauwi ng umagang iyon.

" cogeo! cogeo! tatlo pa! tatlo pa! konting usog lang po. madami pa dyan sa kanan! makikiayos lang po! ( some pinoy rap song in the background)"-sigaw ng nagmamadaling barker na alive na alive pa rin kahit gabi na.

"hindi ko alam, tingin ko, yung greatest fantasy ko siguro ay yung gagawa din ng sweetest thing na maeexperience ko sa isang relasyon---kasi so far, wala pa."-sagot ng isang nilalang na nagpass sa tanong na what is your greatest fantasy?. subalit sinagot ang tanong na, what is the sweetest thing, a lover did to you? sa isang laro ng 20 questions.

"gggggrrrraaaaakkkkk..."-ang nakakagulat na tunog ng tiyan ng batang nakatayo sa harapan at hinihingi ang siopao na kinakain ko habang naghihintay ng masasakyan.

Monday, October 6, 2008

top 10: another mrt reminders

10. ate, kung sasakay ka ng mrt at balak mong makipagigitgitan sa mga kalalakihan dahil alam mo'ng mas malaki ang tsansa mo'ng makaupo ka kesa sa cart ng mga babae, siguraduhin mo lang na hindi ka magsusuot ng medyo plunging o nagbabacon strips na kwelyo. medyo nagiging humble kasi ang mga manong na nakatayo sa harapan mo at lahat sila ay biglang iniistiff neck ng nakayuko.

9. sir, sa hubog at laki ng yung biceps, malalaman na ng lahat na nag ggym ka. kaya kung sasakay ka ng mrt, please lang, huwag ka na magsando. maliban kasi sa kumikintab sa tawas ang iyong lekileki, medyo disoriented at kung saan saan pa nakakarating ang mga buhok mo diyan.

8. madam, kung naiinis ka dahil walang lalaki nag aalok sa iyo ng upuan, huwag ka ng lagatik ka ng lagatik (tsk! tsk!). siksikan ang mga tao sa loob ng tren at hindi mo kontrol kung saan dadapo ang iyong laway.

7. kuya, hindi po ikaw ang tipo ko at lalong malayo pa ang sweldo. kaya please, huwag kang masyadong nakasandal sa akin. medyo alam ko na kasi kung nasaan ang pusod mo.

6. mga magigiting na manggagawang manong at manang, alam niyo po'ng nasa inyo ang aking lubos na paggalang at respeto. subalit kapag minsan, dapat po two-way process din yan. kapag sasakay naman po tayo ng tren, medyo sana po ay pilitin natin maligo. kung hindi naman po talaga kaya dahil nauunawaan ko rin naman minsan hindi lahat tayo sa lungsod ay may access sa tubig, sana naman po huwag tayong masyadong manggitgit at sumiksik kahit bumubulwak na sa dami ng pasahero at lalo na kapag walang aircon ang tren. hindi po kasi ako nagdadal ng extra na damit. may tren din naman pong dadating. lubos na gumagalang, yours truly.

5. people! sabi nga sa radyo, maging magalang. huwag sasalubungin ang mga bababa, hindi niyo po sila kamag anak.

4. manong at manang guard, alam ko po'ng pangunahing layunin ninyo ang aming kapakanan. subalit pag minsan naman po huwag masyadong marahas sa bag ko. japeks lang po yan dahil wala akong pambili ng original at lalong wala akong pambili ng bago. isa pa, matangkad po akong tao kaya taas-taasan niyo din po ang kapkap sa akin. baka po ibang baril ang makapa niyo. patay tayo dyan.

3. auntie, sabi ng sign don't step the yellow line. kung hindi mo maintindihan. huwag lumagpas sa dilaw na linya. huwag ka'ng mag alala nasa unahan ka na at hindi ka iiwan ng tren. baka kasi sa kaatatan mo kunin ka na tren ng tuluyan.

2. manong tren driver, halos kalahating oras na akong naghihintay. nasaan ka na? lunch break mo ba? 3 tren na mula sa kabilang lane ang dumating at umalis wala ka pa rin. pucha! naiihi pa ako. sa wakas, ayan na si manong tren driver. matulin ang takbo at parang nagmamadaling kunin kaming mag sabik na sabik na pasahero. eto na ang pintuan, malapit na. sabik na sabik na akong pumasok. andyan na bilis pa. biliiissss paaaaaa..... lumagpas ang tren. naihi daw ako.

1. dear mrt, tatlong tren na ang dumaan hindi pa ako nakakasakay. bakit ba kailangan kasing pagdating ng cubao, e bumubulwak ka sa dami ng pasahero? ang hirap mo sakyan. kapag ang susunod na tren ay puno pa rin, bababa na ako at kukuha na lang ng taxi at isusumpang hindi na muli sasakay sa iyo. sawang sawa na ako puro na lang frustrations ang nakukuha ko sa iyo. kundi ka lang talaga time-saving at cheap, hindi ako magtitiyaga sa, kala mo. ito na ang susunod, naku... keep your finger cross na lang. huwag ka'ng puno. huwag ka'ng puno. huwag ka'ng puno..HU..waawww!!! totoo ba ito, walang laman? para lang ako sumakay sa north edsa station ah. o siya, since maluwag ka na naman at nakikisama ka din pala, hahayaan ko na ang ibang pasahero makaupo. baka naman sabihin mo wala akong utang na loob. TING! "next station, santolan station. ang susunod na istasyon ay santolan station" konti din ang mga tao. teka, parang kilala ko siya.... artista ito, crush ko ito. hindi ako pwedeng magkamali. sumasakay din pala siya ng mrt. naku, tumayo pa sa tabi ko. siya nga! hala... sana kahit dumampi lang ang braso ko sa balat niya, kahit dumikit lang ang amoy. lapit pa...lapit ka pa. ortigas, shaw, boni, guadalupe...

TING! istasyon ko na...

anak ka talaga ng TOOOT!!! MRT, bakit hindi ka sumikip??! nakaka-FRUSTRATE ka na talaga! PACHU! PACHU!


*pansin ko puro na lang rin ako mrt... hindi na ako marunong sumakay ng jeep. hahaha! dapat may sarili na rin label ang MRT...

Saturday, October 4, 2008

kuliti: pagtatanggol sa pag-ibig

naalala ko, noong bata pa ako, nagising ako na may kakaibang kati sa kanang mata. nagulat na lang ako ng kinamot ko ito at nakaramdam ako ng kirot at parang may bumubukol pa. hindi ko naman ito masyadong pinansin nung una hanggang sa nakalabas ako ng bahay. pagpasok ko ng klase, umulan ng panunukso at kumulog ng tawan.
"ahhh, may kuliti... naninilip!," tukso ng isang kaklase tapos ay nagtawanan ng malakas ang halos buong klase.

subalit sabi ng titser ko sa science, hindi naman daw totoo ang ganitong paniniwala sapagkat ang kuliti ay nangyayari dahil sa duming pumasok at umiimpeksyon sa mata. pero siyempre dahil ako ang bida ng araw na iyon, hindi naniwala ang mga kaklase ko. hindi ko na lang matandaan kung umuwi akong umiiyak o may pasa sa mukha.

pero dahil batang lucky me ako noong bata (batang smart), naisip ko, papaano nakakabuo ang tao ng mga ganitong paniniwala partikular sa kuliti? wala lang ba silang maisip na ibang pantukso? at bakit sa dinami dami pa ng pwedeng iugnay paninilip pa?

malamang, kahit isang kawa ng lucky me beef ang kainin ko noong bata ako, hindi ko masasagot ang sariling mga tanong ko. noong nagcollege na lang ng natututo ako mag yosi nang naalala't napag isipan ko ulit ito. kapag naninilip ka, tinitignan mo ng palihim ang mga bagay na pilit na tinatago sa iyo: mga imaheng hindi mo dapat makita. subalit may kakaibang pagnanasa ang bawat tao na malaman ang mga ganitong bagay, kaya marahil may tinatawag na curiosity.

marahil ito rin ang dahilan kung bakit pilit ko'ng inaabot noong bata ako ang mga bala ng betamax na tinatago ni papa sa tuktok ng aparador (kaya din siguro tumangkad dahil sa kakaabot nun). o kung bakit palihim akong pumapasok sa kwarto ng tito ko para hanapin ang mga magasin na ayaw niyang ipakita sa amin. bakit kasi kailangan may itago at bakit may bawal malaman?

sabi ng isang pilosopo, may kakaibang ibinibigay ang paninilip. nagkakaroon ito ng kapangyarihan laban sa kanyang (mga) sinisilipan sapagkat nakakabuo ito ng mga larawan na hindi batid ng kabila. pwede niyang balahurain ito, pabukakain, bastusin, padapain, patuwarin ito sa ayon na rin sa wildness ng kanyang imahinasyon. ang mga bagay na kadalasang itinatago kaya tinatago ay madumi daw. binabahiran daw nito ng dungis ang mga nakakakita sa kabila ng katotohanang lahat naman tayo ay may kanya-kanyang dumi. subalit tingin ko, ang mata o ang sariling isipan ang siya lamang nagbibigay dumi rito.

marahil kaya nabuo ang paniniwalang magkakakuliti ang taong maninilip ay upang takutin at ilayo ang nakararam sa mga bagay na dapat raw itago. subalit naiisip ko, kadalasan, ang mga bagay na tinatago sa atin, ay yung pa'ng mga na nagpapalaya sa atin. dito tayo namumulat at lubos na naiintindihan ang mga bagay na hindi natin maintindihan. tayo ay lumalaya sa mga pag iimbot at mga sariling konsiderasyon, na ibinakod sa atin ng sariling lipunan.

***

inabot sa akin ni dette ang sequel ng kanilang libro, na may pamagat na kuliti: pagtatanggol sa pag ibig. ito ay isang antolohiya ng maiiksing kwento tungkol sa iba't-ibang tagong relasyon. sabi ni dette, layon daw ng librong ito ang pasilipin at magawang ipaunawa sa mga mambabasa ang dinamismo ng iba't ibang uri ng relasyon meron ang tao.


kadalasan kasi, kapag sinabing relasyon, marami sa atin ay nakakakahon lamang sa depinisyon ng lalaki at babae. ang seks ay dapat sa loob lamang ng kasal. ang pag ibig ay kailangan pa'ng nakabatay sa iba't ibang kwalipikasyon at lahat ng labas dito ay tinatawag ng abnormal o hindi tanggap.

ang bawat isa sa atin ay may kanya kanyang kiling o bias. palagay, ko wala kahit sino ang maaring sabihing open minded siya. maaring open tayo sa isang bagay at hidni naman sa kabila. sapagkat lahat tayo ay may kanya-kanyang o iba-ibang paniniwala batay na rin sa kung papaano tayo hinuhubog at pinalaki.

kahit ako masasabi ko'ng hindi pa ako ganoon kamulat tungkol sa maraming bagay sa paligid ko. ilag pa rin ako sa konsepto ng bestiality o pakikipagtalik sa mga hayup, necrophilia o ang obsesyo na kalauna'y passion sa mga patay at pedophilia o ang obsesasyon sa mga bata at marami pa'ng iba.

kaya naman marami sa atin, ang hindi maiwasang magpahayag ng mga pananaw na lubhang nakakadurog ng pagkatao. sabi nga ng isang linya sa libro, ang tao ang gumagawa ng sarili niyang katotohanan. at sa tingin ko, ito rin ang nagsisilang ng napakaraming kasinungalingan sa mundo. siguro gulong gulo na kayo sa mga pinagsasabi ko. mabuti pa't basahin niyo na lang ang libro.

trivia: ang libro ay nalimbag sa tulong ni ginoong boy abunda. wala lang. hahaha!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

to be sexual is to be political

boy meets girl, girl swings to girl, girl meets girl, girl swings to boy and boy swings to boy, then boy meets boy and who knows who else or how many more characters will be in this set up we call relationships.


relationships nowadays, are quite complicated from the one that our parents or grandparents had, or even more way different from what our ancestors knew about.

although, these non-conventional forms of relationships would have probably been present before, because of lack of knowledge about it, some have decided to conceal it from the ignorant mind of the public, especially since the word relationship is either tagged with love or the generally considered tabboo word, sex. nonetheless, it is a given fact that human relationships just like any elements of human societies evolve as men approach modernity.

modernity is an endless operative term for a society's survival. its main purpose is to clear ignorance and promote change. on the other hand, not all social changes just happen in an instant. for we have religion to censor, check and balance it with our established morals. religion is basically the product of human faith and at the same time the protector of established traditions, norms, mores and beliefs.

now, the question is, what happens when all these three elements deal with a particular social change?

probably, the best example to picture this out is the ongoing debate regarding the passage of the reproductive health bill in the congress. the pros of the bill say that this will help us in controling population explosion, in which also has a direct effect to what the nation is experiencing regarding poverty crisis. in addition, the proponents of the said bill are also alarmed about the growing number of infants, women and minors who dies and vulnerable against the threats of unplanned pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

while the cons of the bill contest it, because they claim that passing the bill will run over the nation's strong foundation of morality particularly within the christian faith: that it goes beyond the natural process of life.

well. i would no longer hide my stand behind my words, for my say into this topic would have probably been more pungent than any scent by now. i believe that there is no other time, place nor way to pass this bill than today.

who can blame me?




everyday, as i pass every single street here in manila, there is no instance that i didn't see a single street kid begging for alms. its just heart crushing to wonder where they're parents are or how they struggle to live the next day. these children are scattered all over the metro: in the stairs of the mrt station, in front of your building, beside your house, near your school and even infront of your face either blowing and inhaling solvent in a plastic bag or scavenging for left over food infront of a fastfood chain. aside from the fact that these scenes are just in metro manila alone.

i asked myself before, how come poor couples still keep on producing kids eventhough they know that they are not capable of supporting them financially, at the very least? someone then told me that it is because of lack of jobs. these people just make themselves productive with their partners. while others live within the belief that the more number of children one have the more chances of the parents to achieve a well off life. quite logical right? and i actually lived within those answer up until earlier.

i received an email from my thesis adviser regarding an online petition for the passage of the reproductive health bill. after running along the bill, i realized that it is not really the lack of things to do that drives these people to bear more and more children nor the raffle-like belief of most of us, that the more children (entries), the more chances of winning, rather it is the lack of information and available options for them to plan their family.

i believe that, like what the bible teaches us, freewill should always be observed and respected. in addition, it should also be provided with the complete and necessary options. one should be informed and educated about his/her options and not to be constrained with what other people/ institutions think as right or wrong. human beings deserve more than that, regardless what you're religious affiliation is.

the bill is all encompassing. it doesn't only tackle the issue of couples planning their family. but also the growing concerns regarding premarital, juvenile and homosexual sex cases anchored (only) upon the rising cases of sexually transmitted diseases, abortion and what have you.
the presence of such concepts are clear manifestations that there are already "morality" cracks in the very foundation that the church is protecting even without the passing of the said bill. this is a fact that all of us need to own and recognize. we should also remember that a bill is created in response to the call of its very society and at the same time a reflection of its very situations and needs. nonetheless, i am not blaming anyone because of this outcome. since this is a shared responsibility of everyone. with the various venues and media that modernity offer us, it is really difficult to cope up and take actions to balance things out. but i believe that providing options such as the proposals of the said bill gives as a good battling chance in achieving this.

lastly, everyone should understand that promoting the bill don't necessarily mean that it is promoting rampant and anarcheic view toward sex. in fact, i believe that it equips and develops us, people toward the necessary knowledge, responsibility and tools to cope up with the concept of sex, plain and simple.

probably, what i am really driving at is, changes are inevitable since it promises growth ofr everyone. but not all changes are necessary thus we need to sort it out and there is no better way to attack it than to have an open mind instead of a dogmatic one.
if you share the same sentiments. please free to attach your digital signature to this website. the organization is aiming to gather on emillion signatures to show the congress the wide support for the bill's passage.