Friday, March 14, 2008

beLIEve part2

it hurts when you know that the person you love and gave your all only thinks that what you both have is something temporary. indeed, there is no such thing as forever. but still there's what we call a lifetime. and aside from money, fame or power, having someone for the rest of our life is something all of us keep on looking and striving for.
i receive a message from a friend last night that turned into a long phonecall conversation. although we were not that close, we have managed to keep in touch after college. the last time i've heard from him was, he was dating someone at work and fortunately they've ended up with each other. but after two years of being together, my friend decided to call it off.
the news was not new for me. but i chose not to confirm it to him. aside form the fact that we were not that close, i thought he still might be hurting and on the process of moving on. but last night he decided to tell me the entire story.
he told me that they met at work. then after a month of dating and getting to know each other, they have decided to be exclusive. then three months after, my friend moved in to his partner's place and there he have stayed for almost a year. the experience was something he never felt before. there were times that he will be taught to cook by his partner, design their place together and share sleepless nights just talking to one another.
until, he noticed that everything drastically becomes different the moment they've stepped in their office. his partner would let go of his hand and as much as possible would not talk to him. his partner would go lunch alone or with someone else and would go home earlier or later than my friend's shift ends.
in the entire time they were together, he haven't met any of his partner's friend, outside the circle they have at work. there were also times where his partner would go out alone for family gathering or his friend's night out and would insist or make alibis for my friend not ot go.
at first, my friend tried understanding his partner's situation. until they came across a serious fight and ended up bragging out all of these.
there, the reason came out. his partner doesn't believe the relationship and even everything that they have. basically, he just enjoyed the companionship and happiness whenever they were together. it was just a spur or a phase of his life that he needs to pass through.
he was hesitant at first in commiting into the proposed relationship. he taught about what his friends, family and colleagues would say against him. so he tended to shy my friend away from his picture. so that the people who knew and around them would not be suspicious of what they have.
surprisingly, he have sustained the entire theatrics for almost a year and nobody knew about their relationship aside from my friend's circle.
he (my friend's partner) concluded that at the end, he still (will) see himself settling down with a wife and children. everything that they have will be just a part of his past. a dellusional relationship brought about by lust. he laso blamed my friend because he should have not flirted him in the first place because he is straight.
those words just blew my friend away from his sanity. everything that he have loved and believed in with what was he thought to be the meant relationship just crumbled down as simple as that. he broke up with his partner and still trying to move.
after everything that happenend, my friend is now having difficulties believing. the shadow of the relationship he had was something he feared to happen again. now, he is burrying himself to his work and hope that atleast he would be able to move on. hoping that he could start believing again.

15 comments:

Mel said...

hassle nga yun, yun na siguro ang pinaka bad trip na relationship na mapapasukan ko kungmagkataon...

wanderingcommuter said...

mel: saan siya badtrip? yung lokohin ka? o yung same sex yung relationship?

KRIS JASPER said...

ang prob kasi sa karamihan iniisip ang sasabihin ng iba.
and prob naman sa ibang tao, binabantayan ang buhay ng iba.

hay...

mas ok talagang maging autistic coz
you live IN your own universe.

wanderingcommuter said...

kj: hey! i never thought about that...good point! hahaha

Whitelight said...

aw! i could relate very well and emphatize with your friend. i've been there and that relationship broke my person for several years. sigh...

♥nova-san said...

Your friend's ex-partner is delusioning himself if he believes that he is straight. He carried on a homosexual relationship for a year with your friend. Those are not the actions of a straight man. I believe that your friend's ex-partner is simply in denial. He probably feels bound by convention to try to lead a "normal" life by marrying a woman and having some children. Your friend should realize that this unfortunate situation is not of his doing. The real problem is that his ex-partner is depriving himself of being who he really is and wants to be what society and everyone else wants him to be. He is having an identity crisis and unfortunately your friend got caught in the cross-fire.

It takes time to heal from such heartache. He will find love again.

Bino/Geno said...

I totally understand how he feels. Tsk tsk. Ewan ko rin ba bakit sila ganun.

wanderingcommuter said...

whitelight: SHARE! SHARE! SHARE! hehehe...

nova: we also concluded he was just in denial. but the hardest part of it was, we are not the right person to tell him this. it will always be his own self that should recognize and accept this fact.
i just hope too... but he is a jolly person, i like you know will survive this. he has seen worst...

nonetheless, i am going to copy this and i'll send it to him. hehehe!

gino: that is the biggest mystery of all!

Whitelight said...

share? hehe maybe one day i will post it in my blog. =) watch out for it.

davenport said...

a sad story and the one i have right could possibly get the same conclusion.. oh well like I always say, we will experience everything we need to experience in order to feel human in the end..

thanks for sharing

wanderingcommuter said...

whitelighter: im going to look forward for it!

davenport: "we will experience everything we need to experience in order to feel human in the end.." wow this just said everything!

bam said...

just had a bf and it seems medyo similar ang relationship namin with your friend and his ex. like when we go to the mall, while walking around one of us has to be 2-3 meters ahead of the other!

i always get the feeling na pang short time lang ang tingin niya sakin pero i still go on with the relationship kahit na lagi ko na naiisip na masasaktan lang ako sa huli.

wag lang niya sasabihin sakin na straight siya kung ayaw niya isampal ko sa mukha niya ang mga regine velasquez concert cds at gay indie film vcd collection niya!!!

wanderingcommuter said...

bam: hahaha...regine velasquez cds at gay indie film...hahaha! hidni nga siya makakatanggi nun. hahaha! checkmate siya kapag nagpumilit pa...sana kumuha ka na ng indie films tapos pahiram mo sa aikn. hahahaha! joke lang!
haay, ang lungkot naman yun sana hindi na lang kayo pumunta ng mall kung ganun lang pala...bakit naman daw?

bam said...

sa work niya kasi marami nakakakilala sa kanya at nahihiya siya may makakita na may kasamang guy. somehow payag na rin ako sa ganung setup kasi di rin naman ako out, none of my real friends know na may bf ako at they all think im straight. tanging mga imaginary friends ko lang ang may alam na bading ako. hehehe

Mel said...

@wanderer, of course yung relationship na lokohan tol...



i don't think i'm gonna go for same sex relationship