the loop

it was one of those days where i would escape my class to have my late afternoon cigarette with a book to finish.

it was almost december that time. but the weather was still scorching hot. the sky was bleeding with red scattered thin sheets of clouds. while the sun was bidding its daily farewell. i could taste the salty tang of my dripping sweat at the sides of my lips. darn, i forgot to bring a hanky. it would take sometime before the sky would cool down.

by the time i opened and read the page where i was last at, i saw you sitting on the grass underneath the acacia trees. you were unmindful of what's happening around you and stared blankly on what you were reading. you haven't notice the couple who dropped a white empty disposable cup beside where you were sitting at. you didn't bother to sweep the trees' yellow flowers buds as it fell down your hair. what you were reading might really be something interesting, i thought.

you suddenly slid your butt as your back laid flat on the ground. you raised the book at the top of your head and read silently again. i knew, i should keep my distance probable a couple of meters. for the thought, i might scare you away. minutes after, you gently move the tip of your finger at the edge of a page. you softly flick the next page as you slowly ran your fingertip down the side of the age brewed sheet. i could actually smell the strong scent of dust and roughness of old-age from where i am by mere looking at it.

there was something in me that became persistent and interested in knowing you: that i needed to know your name, where you are from or hopefully if you'll be free for tonight. but hesitations engulfed me. for i have had enough of rejections and unending hopes before. i am tired of waiting and expecting for it to come, that would simply accept me for who i am and not who i were or who i could be.

but the persistence grew on me. as if a growing mass that was shouting and trying to break free. until, i've finally decided to try it one last time. i thought of a plan. i will smile at you and if you will smile back, then i will approach you. i'll ask for your name, where you're from, if you'll be free tonight and even you're number if i could.

then a rough wind blew against the place. i saw wild breeze carrying dried acacia leaves and ground dusts to your hair. while i immediately stood up from laying and held the pages of my book as it kept on turning from pages to pages. i was worried that i'll lose the page that i was reading. when i have finally located the page, i turned my head back to the place you were laying at and realized you were no longer there. only the acacia trees that were begining to slow down from dancing as the harsh wind subsided were the only things left. i tried looking for any signs of your trace. but indeed, you were no longer there and so was my hope of knowing you.

for a moment, i felt the coldness of the coming night as it domed my entire being.

suddenly, i felt as if someone was staring at me from my other side. hoping it was you, i stood up from laying and slowly turned my head to locate the owner of the stare. but on my surprise, i saw a different figure a couple of meters away with a pair of sad brown eyes. i felt its sadness as if it was running all over me. we've locked our stare for a moment. then, the it slowly released a wide hesistant smile that lifted those depressed eyes.

again, the wind blew but with a gentler nightly breeze. the yellow acacia buds flew like migrating flocks between us. while the sky cooled down and cut my skin with a sudden chill. i could still the smile as it nailed and echoed itself within the enitre scene.

then from afar, i just can't help but to smile back.