Friday, January 4, 2008

quits

i knew it from the first time i saw you in the station that this relationship would eventually end up this way.

we decided to meet that day because you invited me over for an out-of-town trip. i was hesitant at first because you came to me as a faceless stranger. so by the time i step out the train, i was really torned thinking if i would jump back or i would walk ahead and look for you.

you weren't that hard to recognize. so i walk slowly towards you. you were already staring at me as you were leaning your back on the wall. from a far, i could see you smiling. by the time i was near, you held my hand and led the way. i was suprise, at first. but i shouldn't let you notice that i was uncomfortable. so i remained calm and played the game. then, everything between us followed.

but i think its going no where now that is why its better to call it quits.

for the past days, after we separated ways (last weekend) you haven't returned back any of my calls or messages. you even didn't greet me happy new year compare to the hundreds of almost the same forwarded messages i have received. you would probably know this, since i have forwarded half of it to you.

i even doubted if you have the same mobile number or you're being kuripot again since the unlimited service promo already ended an dyou're saving money for another psp cartridge. a peso wouldn't hurt, would it?

i managed to get you answer the phone the other day. when i asked why you are not returning any of my messages, you answered, "nagpapacute lang. i love you". i felt relieve for a moment knowing that everything was just the same as it was. but after that you still didn't return any of my messages. so i realized i just had had enough.

i don't know if this is really your plan? abruptly leaving me and disappear to save your face. well, we have been together for several months. shortlived as it may seem, not to mention i broke up with you twice, i am still happy that atleast you have let me experience it. you were my first. the first person that actually made me to commit out of the numerous non-commital swings that i had. you might be emptying a bottle of champagne now thinking that i am lashing my pulse out of a broken ego. but i am sorry to say this, you are wrong.

i would live exactly the same person you first met in the station. but the only difference now is, i would just walk pass across you with a smile on my lips and a thought that you're just the rest of the fellows waiting for their next ride.

happy tripping.

12 comments:

elayas said...

uhmmm...pwede natin tong tawaging love by the rail...ajejeje ayus ah, sobrang madamdamin naman ng prose na to.

[yas]

Bryan Anthony the First said...

life is indeed easier when we know how to give ourselves the closure we otherwise expect from others

keep smiling as you wander

woof!

M A K R E said...

aawww how sad.

T__T

wanderingcommuter said...

elayas: hahaha. pwede kaso P50,000 ang fine sa mrt at lrt nun. thanks!

bryan: i would agree. peace of mind is basically what you are asking for in this kind of situations.

makre: ganun talaga... hehehe

Bino/Geno said...

Awww. That's so sad. It breaks my heart to read this post. Huhu. I'm trying not to be emotional for 2008. Just for a change...

Kiks Phulumulu said...

this is one quitting you will not lose. because he did.

barb michelen said...

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wanderingcommuter said...

geno: hahaha. why is there something not to be too emotional at? cmon...hehehe.

kiks: hi kiks! thanks for the comment. well, modesty aside, i would agree. but we need to move on. sometimes it is enough that you love a person, because both of you need to grow.

Mel said...

you have no idea how similar our situation is tol...

it is so so sad talaga, pero, ayun, we really do have to live through it, but not with the foolishness that I have demonstrated before, haha!

Mel said...

by the way, I want to update my links and would be much better if i indicate your real name sa list ko? how's that? mind if i ask for your real name?

wanderingcommuter said...

mel: well, life is short para punuin lang ng mga regrets at ka-emohan sa buhay. sabi nga ni john cusack sa wind chills, there is no sense of regretting in life because at the end it is just the same outcome.
kaya dapat always choose happiness. regardless of so many what ifs we have and our tendency to over analyze.

Mel said...

@wanderer: isang apir lang ang msasasabi ko tol hehe