Thursday, November 6, 2008

the unEXpected

what if one day, you were walking along the university oval talking with a friend regarding a paper that you were cramming to pass that afternoon. while you were busy composing your thoughts and discussing it to him, you suddenly saw a familiar figure from a afar. you wanted to deny the speculation that was running in your head, thus you continued talking to you friend, pretending as if it is no big deal. but you noticed that you can't take away your eyes from the image. then suddenly, it smiled, it affirmed everything. for the first time ever, after an informal break up that left me thinking what went wrong, i saw my ex?

for many nights, everytime i walked pass the streets of makati going to work, i rehearsed all possible reactions i can think of, just in case we cross our ways. since my ex is also living and working in makati.

here are the different reactions that i have devised based from what i have observed from other people's experiences.

first reaction, "the kiber." there is a 94% chance that person will just continue walking and eyes straight ahead, pretending as if s/he haven't seen his/her ex's. although, s/he is too big, too tall or even too loud to miss.

second reaction, "the pretentious papampam." there is a 85% chance that a person will not acknowledge the presence of his/her ex's. but would device noticeable gestures that send out signals to the ex indirectly applying, "look at me asshole/bitch! i am more gorgeous, better and happier than ever. it's your loss, loser!" sometimes, pretending laughing and having the time of their life is the usual scenario with this very pretentious behavior.from there, the air will start to taste bitter and everyone can create homemade bitter herb capsules.

third reaction, "the frustrated action star." there is a 53% chance that a person, from the moment s/he smelled his/her ex, will immediately look, approach and beat the hell out of him/her. especially if s/he came from a very traumatic, nerve-wracking and frustrating relationship with his/her, you ask why s/he left you?

fourth reaction, "the next chelsea doll." there is a 16% chance that a person will acknowledge that s/he noticed his/her ex. but will give out that devilish stare that will make the his/her ex's eyes to bleed that balls out of him/her and even make him/her hear an echoing fleet of a million curses in his/her head.

it is the kind of stare that cesar montano gave out to dawn zulueta in antipolo massacre and with the goal of driving the person nuts like in the movie patayin sa sindak si barbara. thus, we can hide his/her name under the name chelsea.

fifth reaction, "the freakazoid." there is a 91%chance that a person will freak out by the moment s/he will see his/her ex. this is the kind of person that cannot compose his/her thoughts and action plans toward such scenarios. but these people don;t usually don't freak out because of they don't have any plans. infact, they are able to produce a long list of "appropriate solutions." but since it ends with the letter S, they immediately panic in choosing one among the-guiness-book-of-record-the-longest-action-plans-if-you-see-your-ex list. so usually, they just end up nailed in where they are standing, dehydrating theirselves with sweat and trembling like a horny hamster.

and finally, "the outgoing, care-free and could not care less personality." there is a 50% chance that a person will smile back to his/her ex, make a brief "kamustahan" and then proceed with their own lives. no need to ask for any explanation, upbrading or what your bitter mind have you.

the next question is which among these reactions did i utilize when i off guardedly saw my ex?
well, of course, you are just that darn boring ("HOWS YOUR CHILDHOOD, DUDE?!) if you haven't figure out that the general answer to such question is the last answer. its what we call finale.

when he smiled, i smiled back, gave out an expression of surprise and asked A, "what are you doing here?"

A answered, "I am returning back to school. hoepefully, i'll be able to finsih my degree this time."

"oh yeah? good. well good luck!"

"yeah. thanks!"

we waived our farewells with the smile still in our faces. then we walk our ways in opposite directions. it was liberating and actually felt really good. it felt like as we were walking away from another, it confirmed me that its finally over. although, i have long moved on but that incident finally put a dot on everything that we had. and the best part was we walked from each other smiling.

*no actual survey or study was conducted. the statistical figures are fictitious. it do not and WILL not EVER reflect any actual accounts. the following article is classified with the second reaction, papampam and just a product of my imaginitive and bored to death mind.


odin hood said...

buti na lang he smiled first. kasi if i were in that situation id probably base my reactions on his reactions, pakiramdaman ba. so because he smiled, smile na rin ako hehe

im happy for the two of you!

Lance said...

For the X that I hate the most, I'll do the next chealse doll move.
For the X that I still love, a little bit..hehehe I'll do 'pa-cute' hehehe
And for my X na hindi ko alam kong galit pa sa akin or what, kiver nalang siguro para sa kanya..heheheh

Thank you for this list..:)

Chyng said...

likey the list! >(^o^)<

oohh, im the "the outgoing, care-free and could not care less personality" type pala.

or kahit ano pa. afterall, wala na naman yung impact anyhow!

Myk2ts said...
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Myk2ts said...

wow thanks for those. at least now i know how to handle those situations :)

~Kinesics said...

clever list! :)

you truely have moved one!
and you are a grown up!

you know, in life, mistakes are made and even with the best of intentions, things don't always work out. im glad you made a choice to be polite and to move on. :):):)


savante said...

Pretentious papampam :P

But I like the fact that you both parted ways genially :)

RONeiluke, RN said...

hahaha! ang kulit nung list! enjoyed reading this one...

siguro kung makikita ko yung ex ko ako yung "the pretentious papampam." hahaha!

peace out!

yoshke said...

im more like the outgoing, care-free and could not care less type. haha.

good that you finally got some closure. sometimes, that's all we need to finally move on.

Trip said...

buti na lang walang actual study dahil kung meron , marami akong itatanong. hehehe

Ronnan Tristan said...

Oh my God!!! I hate my skunky EX! hahaha I know I tried to be the outgoing but I end up being the freakazoid! hahahahaha

Love this post!!! hahaha

joaqui_miguel said...

At least this time around, you parted ways in a nice way. :)

joaqui_miguel said...
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Looking For The Source said...

it happened to me sa jeep.

sumakay sya. aba. dedma to the max ako.

buti na lang kasama ko yung officemate ko.

dedma tlga!

the donG said...

ang brutal ng third. hehehe... parang natatamaan ako dito ah. pero one of my ex, we're really in good relationship. we communicate once in a while.

Luis Batchoy said...

I say chelsea doll! All the way! Mwahahaha...

amicus said...

i will say hi then make an excuse of being late for a prior appointment or whatever.i hate awkward moments.

Toilet Thoughts said...

Hmmmmm. I don't have an ex. So... wala lang. hehehe.

i had special someones, flings and stuff. So I guess they don't count. hehe.

nova-san said...

It's embarrassing, but I tend to do the second reaction. Okay, maybe not to that level of pretentiousness, but I always want my exes to be sorry that we're no longer together. Ayaaa... I'm so immature. Hehehe.

I'm glad that you were able to get some kind of closure from that chance meeting with A. Even if you've already moved on, somehow, that one last meeting, a good meeting, gives you even more strength to keep on going. Good for you.