but what if, a person had an affair before getting married to another person and still continued the affair to the former, is it also called cheating?
***remember allan? he is my officemate that has a boy friend, who is married and has a son.
when he opened this to us during our lunch break, one of our male officemate reacted, "home wrecker!"
no one from the group actually reacted nor contested back: a subtle way of affirming the remark. when allan realized this, he reacted, "it was not really my fault when in fact, i came in the picture first before my boyfriend actually got married."
jonathan answered,"even so. if you already knew that your boyfriend got married, you should have avoided him already. in consideration, atleast to their son."
"he just impregnated his wife by accident, than, that is why he was forced by his wife's family to marry her."
"marriage is marriage. regradless, if the marriage is a cause or a product of something else, we should still respect it."
from that point, i felt that the conversation is already beginning to create a friction. so i decided to butt in. i told jonathan, "you need to consider the condition that allan has because in the first place, he doesn't have any option for marriage. eventhough he or they wanted too, he simply can't. since there is no same sex marriage in the country."
on the other hand, i told allan that, "it is no excuse who comes first in the relationship. what matters is where the mutual decision is coming from and in consideration with the consequences and responsibilities it entail."
i added to allan, if only his boyfriend was probably there, i would have told him, "here's my phone and try calling taiwan. your hair might be being stepped on and run over by the people there right now. but seriously speaking, "make up your mind, dude! you can never have them both at the same time without hurting another person's feelings. not unless, your wife would agree to the set up that you three will share. because as of the moment, you are playing with somebody's feeling behind her back."
then all of us,became silent. we paused for a moment and then continued eating our lunch. then, i just realized how intellectual the conversation had been and i also felt that probably my officemates also freaked out with the realization. it also came to me that not all my officemates were pigs. i was lucky enough to have another set of individuals who i can strike a good conversation with. i learned that it is indeed just a matter of finding the right group in the right time and right place.
then allan spoke, "well, i just can't imagine his wife's boobs brushing on mine nor her catching my load. its just way over my imagination."everybody grossed out and "eeeewwww"-ed. then we all laughed. i even had goosebumps just imagining the picture. so jonathan just called for smoke and everybody stood up, except allan and i, and followed him. i thought, how soft stomached this guys are for losing their appetite as quick as that . but it didn't actually took allan that long to stood up and excused himself to smoke as well. when i went back to my plate to finish my meal. i found myself having difficulties finishing my meal as well. i just realized that all of us were actually having an over cookedmiso soup on the side.
when i went out the building, i saw them all laughing at me. then jonathan asked me if i were able to finish my soup? i just then smiled naively.