Wednesday, August 27, 2008

lunch talks

when a person had an affair to another person after getting married, is it called cheating?


but what if, a person had an affair before getting married to another person and still continued the affair to the former, is it also called cheating?

it depends.

***remember allan? he is my officemate that has a boy friend, who is married and has a son.

when he opened this to us during our lunch break, one of our male officemate reacted, "home wrecker!"

no one from the group actually reacted nor contested back: a subtle way of affirming the remark. when allan realized this, he reacted, "it was not really my fault when in fact, i came in the picture first before my boyfriend actually got married."

jonathan answered,"even so. if you already knew that your boyfriend got married, you should have avoided him already. in consideration, atleast to their son."

"he just impregnated his wife by accident, than, that is why he was forced by his wife's family to marry her."

"marriage is marriage. regradless, if the marriage is a cause or a product of something else, we should still respect it."

from that point, i felt that the conversation is already beginning to create a friction. so i decided to butt in. i told jonathan, "you need to consider the condition that allan has because in the first place, he doesn't have any option for marriage. eventhough he or they wanted too, he simply can't. since there is no same sex marriage in the country."

on the other hand, i told allan that, "it is no excuse who comes first in the relationship. what matters is where the mutual decision is coming from and in consideration with the consequences and responsibilities it entail."

i added to allan, if only his boyfriend was probably there, i would have told him, "here's my phone and try calling taiwan. your hair might be being stepped on and run over by the people there right now. but seriously speaking, "make up your mind, dude! you can never have them both at the same time without hurting another person's feelings. not unless, your wife would agree to the set up that you three will share. because as of the moment, you are playing with somebody's feeling behind her back."

then all of us,became silent. we paused for a moment and then continued eating our lunch. then, i just realized how intellectual the conversation had been and i also felt that probably my officemates also freaked out with the realization. it also came to me that not all my officemates were pigs. i was lucky enough to have another set of individuals who i can strike a good conversation with. i learned that it is indeed just a matter of finding the right group in the right time and right place.

then allan spoke, "well, i just can't imagine his wife's boobs brushing on mine nor her catching my load. its just way over my imagination."everybody grossed out and "eeeewwww"-ed. then we all laughed. i even had goosebumps just imagining the picture. so jonathan just called for smoke and everybody stood up, except allan and i, and followed him. i thought, how soft stomached this guys are for losing their appetite as quick as that . but it didn't actually took allan that long to stood up and excused himself to smoke as well. when i went back to my plate to finish my meal. i found myself having difficulties finishing my meal as well. i just realized that all of us were actually having an over cookedmiso soup on the side.


when i went out the building, i saw them all laughing at me. then jonathan asked me if i were able to finish my soup? i just then smiled naively.


dak said...


si doc rebosa!!!


we met him last tuesday.

mel beckham-atienza said...

there's a fine line between love and stupidity.

that's all. =p

enrico said...

Nagkataon na lang na may asawa't anak na yung guy. Isipin nya na lang kung wala pang anak yung babae o isang lalaki uli. Malamang ndi rin sya magiging kumportable sa ganung setup.

joaqui_miguel said...

So basically, "the guy" had an affair with a girl which (un)fortuantely for him made him a father yet Allan still decided to stay with him?

Wow! He must really love him!

Just a question to PLUs out there, would you stay in the relationship if your partner had an affair with a. a girl? b. another guy?

Just a little curious with what you guys think. Thanks. :)

Mugen said...

I've seen everything.

As for me, do what makes people happy.

Will Shady said...

That's funny. I wish the conversations with my coworkers over lunch were this interesting. But I agree with your advice.


why force marriage?

That married "guy" should make a stand, and choose. He's being unfair to his boyfriend and wife (and son as well).

but maybe he is enjoying it?

nova-san said...

"he just impregnated his wife by accident, than, that is why he was forced by his wife's family to marry her."

I thought that you had mentioned in a previous post that Allan and his bf are living together, or did I get that wrong?

In any case, there are three people lives that are relying on the bf: Allan, the wife, and the son. The bf has to make up his mind what he really wants to do. He can't keep stringing along 3 people just because he can't make up his mind.

And the picture of the miso soup made my stomach turn for some reason. Hahaha! Argh, the visualizations going through my head!!!

Lance said...

if allan really loves the guy, then he should fight for it, no matter what..
but if practically speaking, he can always just give it up and look for someone else (not committed)

that's just an opinion...

cobe said...

You sound like the voice of reason in the conversation. Sometimes we need an outsiders perspective to see things clearly.

Oh yeah and the souped looked good too bad it went to waste.

odin hood said...

dont really care about the wife... i wonder how it would be for the son if/when they find out about the affair?

Keitaro Hanazawa said...

pare-pareho lang silang talunan sa situation na iyan. pero mas higit na apektado yung anak ng jowa ni allan. in the long run, pare-pareho din silang mahihirapan.

Niel Camhalla said...

if it was the right thing to do...they'd feel it.

if they did wrong, they'd end up paying for it in one way or another.

jericho said...

the weird thing about cheating is that I think the cheater usually doesn't realize that he's an idiot for not knowing what he really wants. and no, i don't think allan is the cheater in this case. hindi sya ang may sabit.

dabo said...

life is about priorities.. whatever rock his boat, roll his balls

Kiks said...

this social set-up traps us into a commitment which we never want to make and hide the one that we really want to commit to.

too bad for allan's loved one who continues to cheat his wife.

the child should not be included in the picture. at least that's what i think.

Bino/Geno said...

Hehe. Nakakatuwa naman.

Bino/Geno said...

Nga pala. I'm in an HIV awareness program now. Can you help us spread the word and help the awareness campaign? Maybe you could use your blog as a medium. We also have a support group and we realized that there are a lot of gay/bisexual people who had unprotected sex with people who turned out to be HIV positive. They still don't know their status.

xxxborgexxx said...

I would've loved to finish the miso soup. Paborito ko. Hahahaha.

dazedblu* said...

More cheats [I] guess, sike.

Looking For The Source said...

kung cla na ni allan before kinasal ung bf nya dahil nakabuntis to, then obviously yung bf nya ung nagcheat?? nyahahahah...

wanderingcommuter said...

dak: ayus! mabait na prof yan. hehehe.

mel: and unfortunately, not most people can see that fine line.. tsktsk!

enrico: so far, mukhang gusto naman niya at 7 years na sila actually. nag away sila couple of weeks back at ngayon balikan na ulit sila. hahaha!

joaqui: tama! tumpak! correct!
regardless of your gender, i think if you really love the person, you will... pero depende pa rin siyempre sa personality ng tao.

mugen: happiness first. hehehe

will: hehehe. its a good thing i was able to find my circle after that lunch.

kj: oo nga eh... feel na feel na pinag aagawan siya. hahaha!

nova: yeap! his bf is a flight steward. while his wife is in the whenever his bf is in manila he stays at allan's place and then he just go to his wife's place evry other weekend.
you'll never look at miso soup the way it was before.

lance: i think, even if allan doesn't love his bf anymore, he would stay with the relationship. practically speaking, allan is not gettinga ny younger and finding a partner in such age is a very hard thing to do.

cobe: hehehe... voice of reason. i feel like im an omnipotent being. hahaha!

odin: i think, younger generation keeps on getting smarter and open about such thing. by the time the kid reaches his age, i am quite confident that he will understand it.

niel: probably it really is a matter of living up with the responsibilities of the decisions we make.

jericho: i must agree... parang ito ata ang pinakamalalim mong comment so far... hindi siya pabiro. hahaha

dabo: bakit parang kapag nanggaling sa iyo, ang pangit pakinggan. hahaha!

kiks: i definitely concur...

borge: i admire your apettite, dude. hahaha.

dazed: yup.yup.

source: i must agree. ang asshole dito ay ang bf talaga. hahaha!

Lance said...

ah i see...may katandaan na rin pala xa.. was it included in this post?
sorry i missed that part regarding his age...hehehehe