Friday, August 15, 2008

kite dreamer

i never learned or experienced flying a kite. until it came to a point in my adult life that it became one of my greatest frustrations in life and must-do-before-i-die. as far as i can remember, my memory of flying kites is just a picture of my friends happily flying theirs. while i am alone staring at them and thats it. i never really knew why, up until i paid my uncle a visit the other day. we were sitting in his terrace, when we saw a kite flying pass across his roof, dived and soared up high. i was wowed with the scene and shared to him my frustration to fly a kite one day. then he told me, "you always had a kite when your were little. but you cry whenever your dad teach you how to fly it." "huh?...why?" "well because you're scared that it would never return back" then i asked myself, "was i already dramatic as such young age?" when i reached home, i wondered if such claim holds true. then i saw bunch of movie tickets, signed receipts, stained stones, used coffee paper cups and bunch more kept in my closets and all over my room since first year college. at first, i want to deny it. but i was caught off handedly. i want to insist that i am not a sentimental person because it just can't be. i am as tough and cold as a stone. then these things began moving and gave me a nod as if a person telling me, "yes, you are a very sentimental person, ewik. and we are the proof of that." in a blink of an eye, everything went still. as if i was returned back from an animated wormhole. its just that there are so many memories within those things that i can't simply throw away. and being my forgetful self, i have to have something to relive those moments. i think its beyond being sentimental and more of a self preservation. for me, without these things around, is like sleeping without your eyes shut. but in second thoughts, i realized that for me to know things that i want, i have to learn to let go off other things. sacrifice is inevitable. everything or everyone has to go for nothing is bound forever. i need to make a risk and not live with 'what ifs': if something got lost, i need to learn to accept it for i cannot get everything that i want. its just a matter of how you have lived with it or them and how they have marked themselves in you and vice versa.
having this on mind, i am now considering of having a general cleaning and throw away those things that my mom use to call "trash". then i will create my own kite afterwards. and hopefully i will finally be able to it the next day.


*this post is a subtle way of saying that we all need to move on. hehehe.

20 comments:

mel beckham-atienza said...

..iyakin ka pala ewik? at nag-iipon pa ng clutter ha. hihi!

let go...

Ely said...

i enjoyed flying kites as a kid. pahabaan ng tali na pinagdugtong-dugtong. Pag lumipad halos di mo na makita sa sobrang taas, when i pulled it back, basa na yung kite, kasi umabot hanggang sa ulap. hmm..wala lang.

my-so-called-Quest said...

awww... tara magpalipad tayo.
nakakamiss tlaga yung mga ganun nuong bata.

wala naman ata masama sa pagiging sentimental (guilty rin kasi ako jan) haha!

pero pag nagtapon ka ng mga "trash mo" siguraduhin na handa ka ng magmove on. =]

White said...

yeah, ewik, kaya nga "trash" di ba? dapat ng itapon ang mga yun and start anew. malay mo,may makabangga kang kite dyan and will change your life forever, hopefully for good.

:)

KRIS JASPER VAN DYKE said...

Maybe you were a gypsy in your past life?

Aracir said...

gumawa ka na..kung mawala, gawa ka ulit ng bago.. =)

gumamit ka ng nylon kung gusto mo matibay ang tali heheheh

dabo said...

hahaha.. naalala ko tuloy ng gumawa ako one time ng kite, for no reason at all, yung buntot ay may inverted triangle sa dulo hehehe..

--- --

well eric, nawala ka ah.. hope all is cool, i mean practically okay.. regards po

--- --

now to comment: trash.. maybe literally but based on the law of conservation of mass and energy, the things you are going to throw won't be destroyed...

same thing with emotions, it is not destroyed, sometimes we washed it, paint the ugly parts and look at it as good as new.. some people call it a good memory, others a lesson learned well (with reference to baz luhrmann)

why because it is better than keeping it, although keeping it had serve its purpose very well in the art.. art of letting go that is..

and to those we completely throw away would also transform and take another image... not to mock us but to be useful again in somebody else's hands or heart.

life goes on. move out the things you don't need, stuff you have outgrown until you find an empty space and when you realize it is empty for a moment, get creative na bonggang bongga!

marie6 said...

I like your thoughts in this post, I am one to hold on to a lot of trash as well but then a day comes along and I try to throw most of it away!!

You have to fly a kite, my kids love it and I think it makes you feel young and free.

tagabukid said...

hmmm...lalim a...from flying kites to clearing clutters. profound.

odin hood said...

ako rin ang dami "trash" sa room... haaay i wanna get organized and de-clutter pero i dont want to throw away my "trash"

boying said...

ei, ganyan din ginagawa ko sa mga kagamitan ko. mga bolpen na ubos na ang tinta, toothbrush na hindi na ginagamit, mga notebook na hanggang page 4 lang ang may nakasulat, atbp. tsk. tsk.

minana ko ata sa mama ko. ang dami rin kasi niyang mga ganito na naka-ipon. tsk.

kakamiss naman ang pagpapalipad ng saranggola. huhu. gusto ko na namang umuwi sa amin.

Mugen said...

Sentimentality is my greatest asset.

Second is being obsessive compulsive.

Nagtatapon ako ng gamit
but I make sure to keep, what I want to remember. :)

Salamat sa mga text kanina, hindi ko marerealize ang kagandahan ng ulan habang ito ay humahalik sa dahon ng mga puno kung hindi dahil sa iyo. :)

Naks poetic pa rin ako.

gillboard said...

naaalala ko tatay ko dati ang hilig gumawa ng saranggola... feeling ko nun me tama siya kasi buong araw yun lang ginagawa niya.

Blacksoul said...

Just like me im starting over yet again.

Anyways thanx for droppin by my blog.Yeah I used to work for NCO i just resigned like 2 days ago.

WTBoutU??

wanderingcommuter said...

mel: oo naman. proud of it... hehehe

ely: hahaha. sayang wala akong memories na ganyan. can't relate. hehehe.

quest: game ako jan! hehehe. naku, mabigat na word ang move on. sa sobrang bigat hindi ko siya mabuhat para matapon. hehehe... but i am working on it. hehehe.

white: naku, hindi naman tungkol sa lovelife itong post na ito. don't worry. mas tungkol ito sa buhay. at kung magkataon mang may mabangga sa akin kite, goodluck na lang sa kanya. walang sisihan kung sira sira siyang bumalik sa nag mamay-ari sa kanya. masakit kaya yun kapag tumama sa iyo.

kj: hey, i also thought of that as well... hehehe.

aracir: may isang kwento ang kada saranggola at magkakaiba ito sa bawat saranggola gagawin at papaliparin mo. naks, palalim! hahaha.

dabo: amen! i cannot say more... natuldukan mo na lahat! hahaha.

marie6: hey, thanks! i'll sure do. i am just looking for a good time to do this.

tagabukid: hahaha.. PA-profound lang.

odinhood: naku, pareho tayong aamagin sa kakatago ng mga gamit na ito, odin... hahaha.

boying: hahaha. hindi pala ako nag iisa. thats a nice thing to know. hehehe.
naku, wala talaga sigurong tatalo kung magpapalipad ka ng saranggola sa probinsya... haaay, hangin palang swabe na!

mugen: tulad ng sinabi ko kuya joms, we are indeed the exact opposite of one another. hehehe.
frustrated na OC ako. inshort, dugyot at pala kalat. hahaha!
move on. masama talaga ang epekto ng ulan. hehehe.

gillboard: hahaha. natakot naman tuloy akong gumawa ng saranggola baka maadik din ako. HAHAHA!

blacksoul: yep. QC ako naman ako. i just remembered kasi yun lang company na merong xbox eh. hehehe. pero wala na din ako dun. hehehe.
goodluck dude!

theTripper said...

wahhhh... di ako sentimentalist. pag wala ng gamit tapon na agad. mahilig ako magtapon. pati kalat ng iba tinatapon ko. minsan tinapon ko iyung installation CD ng webcam ni HB at iyung foam ng earphones niya kasi parang kalat sa tingin ko. ayun, nagalit. sabi ko lang papalitan ko. well, yun lang.

lahat napapalitan. ang sentimental value ay naka imprint na sa memory. mawala man ang bagay ang memory hindi. hindi ibig sabihin pag binasura mo ang isang bagay kasama na iyung memory value noon. therefore, all "waste" must go into the bin.

:)

bloom said...

i needed this entry. :( hindi ako makamove on! waaaaah. huhuhuhu.

Bino/Geno said...

Senti senti. Hehe. Ako rin naman. Hehe.

tinay said...

I am a kite girl so upon visiting your blog, this post caught my attention. the earliest lessons of letting go, i learned it from a kite one windy barrio afternoon.

the kite is my throwback to childhood and it reminds me too that we don't need wings to fly. :)

nice post. you are interesting.

Mel(na nasa opisina) said...

haha, yun pala ang pinaka idea ng post mo, lolz

move on na to!