Friday, August 29, 2008

living in full connection

*as requested by bino/gino

life is too short not to be lived to the fullest. but life can also be shorter for those who don't practice precautions.

in the life that we are living today, most of us, one way or another, have opted living beyond the typical social conventions. one example is regarding our views when it come to our sexual behaviors and practices.

our society has lived with the concept of sex as constrained within the conditions of marriage and religious belief over many generations. sex has/had become more of a priveledge rather than a human right or instict.

but within the folds of modernity, liberal thinking has emerged and slowly but drastically changed this view. for most of us, especially those who are living within the urban setting, sex has slowly coming out of the shell of being tabboo and even from being exclusive and private. it no longer even talks of greater weight and sensitivity for some.
one manifestation of it, is the wide presence of various venues in which we could find and practice sex even without the permission and constrictions of marriage. we have the cyberspace, bars, cinema houses, bath and spa houses and even inside public vehicles for crying out loud. inshort, sexual space has become borderless and transgresses beyond the four corners of our private rooms. in effect, men have also reinvented human relationships.

but like any other things that come along with change, risks and disadvantages are also inevitable. for this case, the emergence of HIV and AIDS have become one of, if not, the greatest threat to mankind. although there are still great numbers of diseases that science haven't come out with a cure yet, these diseases have become one of the leading burdens to us due to its unimaginable rapid spread around the world, and as mentioned, these don't excempt any country. in the philippines alone, it is believed that there is a higher number of unreported cases than the reported ones: making it more alarming. thus, i believe that educating and reminding (for those who already know this) people about it, is men's greatest weapon against such.

cris is married to a loving wife and a father of two. he is living a typical life as a family man: he is a good provider, he takes his children to their school early in the morning before going straight to work. he goes home laying in bed together with his wife and plan the future of their family before they go to sleep, etc. he is a hard working supervisor in a well-known real estate company and about to get another promotion in a couple of months time. but when everything about him is about to be ideal, cris later confessed one flaw: he was having multiple extra marital relationships. most of which, are from women in beer houses and "sin" places, that he frequently visits after work.

he went ill and later diagnosed positive of aids. his life crumbled down and affected his family and work. later on, his wife went positive as well. after knowing it, the wife still decided to be with him. she believes that there is no more sense of crying over spilled milk: what happened has happened. atleast, they are doing this for their kids. they want to be with their kids in almost everything that they do and then latter planned to send them to their relatives by the time their moment comes.

joseph is good-looking, middle aged yuppy. he has a secured job, a nice place and living his life as a well-off non-committal lad. during his past time, you would probably see him picking up people in the internet. he is straight forward especially when it comes to dealing with people. he immediately lays his cards down whenever he is about to meet someone: and even if the cards only spell A, J, Q, K and the rest are numbers, these people could apparently read is as sex---and just plain sex.


for him, sex should always be unsafe sex. if it involves wearing condoms, it is no pleasure nor fun, thus, it is no sex at all. later on, when he had his annual general check up, he learned that he was positive with HIV. nonetheless, he declined medication and just continued the life(again) he has but in a more "meaningful perspective".

indeed, we live our lives entangled with another person's life and so is he to another and to another until we find ourselves connected to the last person of the same thread. basically, whatever we do affects the entire web and so are they. thus, following the logic, if one decides to put in something in the flow, can you imagine, how much it will affect us all? we may never know cris or joseph. but if we have been hit with the same mishap, can we say that we were able to live our lives to the fullest already---now, that our life already has its own deadline?

for me, life is always a matter of choice. regardless what the decision may be, as long as you live it together with the responsibilities it entail, act upon it to yourself and with consideration to others.

but don't get me wrong, folks. i am not blaming anyone for what has happened regarding the issue because to begin with, there is really nothing to blame. everything that happened to this very moment is a natural thing. and as part of the process, we, as human beings are also entitled to commit mistakes regardless if its intentional or not. what matters is, as long as we have gained the gist and the morale of the experience and apply it on how we live our life the next day, then we could say that we have indeed living our life to the fullest.


i actually admire these people because for them, it is no longer a matter of how long they live anymore. its more of the appreciation and how they are valuing their life each day after everything that happened. in addition, we should never isolate or discriminate those who have it, just because of the fear that we might get infected by mere talking to them. hiv and aids may be the two of the most uncurable and dreaded diseases, but they are not easily pass from one person to another. we should look at their life not through what happened in the past but what they are at present. in fact, you'll might be surprised of the lessons they can give to you such as those that we have often taken for granted.

i must admit, before, i usually went into tears just reading and watching these kind of stories. probably because of the fear inside, that what if it happenened to me in the future or what if i even have it now (knock in the wood), is there enough time for me to be able to catch upon those things that i want to do and i want to become?

but after writing this post, i have realized that life is not a matter of thinking what is ahead. it is actually how you live your life at present. it is not only enjoying and living every second of it. but most importantly appreciating and valuing it through just precautions.


RONeiluke, RN said...

i really do agree with safe sex. and even though the type of human connections these days had evolved, i still believe that physical connection should be done within emotional connection. knowing one's partner will give us a head's up. it's ok to be cynical or skeptic about a person especially when it comes to sex. mahirap na.

lessons are much learned in life with a dead-end ahead, i guess...

Anonymous said...

Thank you for helping us with HIV awareness campaign. I hope to contribute to stopping transmission of HIV.

If you know someone who has hiv, then please contact us. We will help him as much as we can. By the way, due to limited resources, our group is focusing on gay/bisexual people right now. It cannot be cured but progression can be prevented before it gets worst.

email us at.

Anonymous said...

Just to add. It is a misconception that condoms has holes which does not stop HIV. We should also take note about the window period. The commercial tests right now can only test the encounter you had 6 months ago. There are more sensitive tests that can pick it up as early as 6 weeks but it is only available in big medical centers.

Also, HIV is NOT synonymous to AIDS. If you have HIV, doesn't mean you have AIDS. It is not anymore a death sentence.

Thank again Ewik. :)

Myk2ts said...

mapagpalayang kaisipan ang entry na ito.
mga dapat sundin at dapat gawin.
mga dapat isipin.

bago mahuli ang lahat.

practice safe sex :)

Kiks said...

a man asked me for sex this morning. he told me he was partnered and thought that would make scuttle away.

when i didn't, he said: "sex is just sex."

i answered him, i am poz. you need to know whether you're partnered or not.

that made him stutter a bit. at least in chat.

i answered back: "sex is not just sex."

boying said...

"live life to the fullest."


"live life to the foolest."


joaqui_miguel said...

I wouldn't mind being stricken with a disease and be aware of my terminal existence if only to start living my life meaningfully. Crazy, right? But I guess most people take for granted their time here on earth because the concept that they too shall pass is something they don't wanna think about thus the mind set that they will live forever. They then postpone the chance to start really living their life in every sense of the word.

There are some people who drastically change when they know they are terminally ill. They start being nicer to people and start spending time with their loved ones and doing things they haven't tried before. Do we really need to be terminally ill first before doing all those?

Every moment that passes by is opportunity to live a meanigful life. Not necessarily boring but appreciative of the things around us and enjoying it while we can but still in the confines of resposibility and respect.

mel beckham said...

Come what may.

Cum what may.

That's all. =p

harmonie said...

Great article. Kaya dapat pinapahalagahan ang buhay. Think of the consequences. Life is short, we may not know kung hanggang kelan lang tayo tatagal sa mundo.

Lance said...

you guys are helping the society a lot.. Kudos (big) to all of you in your HIV awareness campaign.

the menace said...

yeah, darnwith fubus and casual meet ups. love naman wag lang lust


maarte noh?