Saturday, May 3, 2008

the wizard of us

"everything is entirely different from what most people thinks and dreams about love. there are times when i wish that i was tinman from wizard of oz. atleast, he doesn't have a heart to feel this."

i was stunned and put into deep thoughts when a friend told me this line. we never talked something as mushy as this. thus, the rareness of such conversation would actually tell me that it was something serious.

he confessed to me that he tried being more experimental into new things when he went here in manila. he swinged from one relationship to another. he hooked himself not only to one person among parties and gatherings that he have religious attended every night. he broke his girlfriend's heart, which happens to be a close friend too, in exchange of all these. but it didn't take him that long, before he have realized, and to quote him, that he made his life more miserable.

now, another person has offered love to him and asked him to move in. he accepted the place. but he still didn't give his commitment.

i asked, why?

he answered, he no longer have any love to give. thus, he cannot promise anything anymore other than friendship.

i wanted to make an arguement with him. but i thought probably i am not the only person he have talked to about this. his friends might already argue, advised and persuaded him about the same things that i am going to say to him. then thats when i've realized that probably he only needed somebody that would listen to him. somebody that would respect his decision and still accept him whatever happens.

without another word from his lips, i told him that i just wish him all the happiness he is ought.

a week ago, a friend called me from abroad that lasted more than a couple of hours. by the time i heard the tone of her voice, i knew that she is in it again, depression.

she frequently gets depression attacks and already taking medication for it. but sometimes even the strongest dosage wouldn't take its toll for somebody who is living alone in a country, in which most of the people, would just answer her, yes or no, without completely understanding what she've just said. she was craving for a sensible chat.

along the two hour talk, i learned that it was not only the lack of conversation that made her depressed that night. like the previous one, it was about lovelife again.

basically, she couldn't commit herself to another guy because of various considerations. although she admits that she do like(love) the guy, she just couldn't because of the consequences she foresees.

i told her that she might be over analyzing things again, like she normally does. although they are indeed sensible, logical and very intellectual, sometimes those realizations are too soap operish and melodramatic to happen in real life. thus, it hinders her (or us) to make one bold step forward and to take a risk in commiting in a relationship.

oprah once said, "the smartter the people is, the more likely s/he will have a relationship." well in a way, she might be right. because in thinking to much about commiting we tend to eliminate the importance of our own instict, which for most people is the basic point of this emotion we call loving.

after the conversation, i was trying to thrust out in me the question of who is better in love? is it the tinman without a heart or the scarecrow without a brain? or probably the lion who has no courage that i failed to relate a story with?

some may come up with the lamest arguements such as the reason why the brain is put above the heart is for us to know that it is better to rationalize than to follow your emotions. some would even contest it with even lamer ideas such as it is the heart that should be followed because it symbolizes love.

but for me, to top it all, when i fall in love, i make sure i am lying flat. so atleast both the brain and the heart is on the same level. well, talking about the lamest idea. huh?!


mikes said...

nakarelate ako..

takot din ako.

takot na tako.pwede ring pagod na pagod.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes we just have to take risks.

Everything are investments. And investments have risks. It's up to you to decide how much to invest and if the risks are worth it.

♥nova-san said...

Ahhh... love... it's one of the eternal mysteries of life. We long for it, find it, lose it, then want for it again. It's a never-ending cycle of happiness, then pain. I had found love before, but lost it, because my brain was telling me other things. I think that if one works, then mysteriously, the other stops functioning. It's like the heart and brain cannot work simultaneously, or they give each other conflicting messages.

I think there is no wrong or right answer, or that there is an even answer to the question of who is better in love. I think experience and learning to be happy in love is the best we can do.

amicus said...

i used not to believe in love. then i found love. i am never letting go.

nice. :)

Ely said...

Nice post. Mahirap gawing same level ang utak at puso. And because its hard, rest ko muna sila pareho. hehe

red riding odin hood said...

hahaha uu nga no when you're laying flat the heart n mind is on equal levels.... like when you're in bed with him? hehehe

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Anonymous said...

emo? wapak!

Toilet Thoughts said...

Joe D' Mango? Is that you Dr. Love? hehehe.

"when i fall in love, i make sure i am lying flat. so atleast both the brain and the heart are on the same level" ---- SO LOVE THIS LINE. hehe unga naman. :)

Love? San ba yan napupulot? lol

bananas said...

like most pained people, i would say that ive already been there and basically done that--left and right, and in between.

but still, like most pained people, learning the way out of the complex maze called relationship is no easy. it could depress one or worse, kill one. Perhaps this is the reason why many pained people would choose not to go out but stay--maybe not in relationship with others but in relationship to the pained self.

and still, many pained people seem not to learn at me.

Mugen said...

Kasasabi ko lang kahapon sa isang kaibigan, of all the things a person
should protect, it should be his emotions.

Mahirap kapag iyon ang tinamaan.

wanderingcommuter said...

mikes: hmmm...mamili ka na lang takot mapagod o napagod matakot.hehehe

bino: i must agree. risk spice evrything an makes you feel the importance of something.

novasan: I think that if one works, then mysteriously, the other stops functioning.

i think this is the biggest mystery of love...

amicus: wow, naiinggit. hehehe. biro lang!

ely: naku, pano kung hindi na sila magwork kapag kailangan mo ng gamitin?

odin: hahaha.wala akong sinasabi sa bed! ikaw ang nag isip nun. hahaha!

anonymous: pa-anonymous ka pa davenport.

toilet thoughts: buhay pa ba si joe d mango? hahaha...ang pag ibig hindi napupulot kasi kapag yun pinulot, may bayad. hahaha!

banana: ang lungkot naman ng comment mo. mas malungkot pa sa post ko. kaya mo yan!

wanderingcommuter said...

mugen: sana meron din binebentang herbal tablets para sa mga tama sa emosyon. tsktsk!

Toilet Thoughts said...

@Wandering Commuter: Sige gagawa ako ng herbal tea para sa mga natamaan sa puso. hehehe.

O sige na nga. Kung masamang pumulot kasi bibilhin mo un, saan naman ako hahanap para naman magandang klase makuha ko? hehe kiddin. (ang cheesy, kasi ba nmn Love ba nmn pagusapan).

wanderingcommuter said...

hindi yun binibili, inuupahan yun...hahaha... naku, kung alam ko lang din. malamang, wala ng taong single ngayon including me. hahaha!

bananas said...

hindi malungkot yon. reality yon. sadyang ayaw lang talagang matuto ng mga tawo. hindi dahil sa hindi sila natututo kundi dahil ayaw lang talaga nila.

sabi ng tuesdays with morrie ni mitch albom (altho di ko pa talaga ito nababasa at hindi ito verbatim)--"sana sa susunod, ibang feeling naman..."


hay.. i hope what i have now is forever.. i might double the dose of my diazepam if i fall out of it (again).

the donG said...

in thinking to much about commiting we tend to eliminate the importance of our own instict, which for most people is the basic point of this emotion we call loving>>> i agree. but it was good that you made yourself available on that day.

Kris Canimo said...

gaya ng sinsabi ko dati, ano nga ba un?

bulitas said...

ang pag-ibig, kapag nalanghap mo na at napasok ang sistema mo, kahit gaano ka pa katatag, ka-tapang, ka-talino, o ka-laki ang puso, magugulo ka. susubukan ng pag-ibig ang tatag mo, ang talino mo, ang tapang mo, at ang laki ng puso mo. matira matibay sa lahat ng bigwas na idudulot ng pag-ibig. patibayan sa kabila ng mga galos, ng mga sugat, ng mga sakit.

whew. nakarelate naman ako sa entry mo

red riding odin hood said...

hahaha o sige na malibog na ako hahaha

Lawstude said...

love is such a complex word. i have been hurt (abused even) pero keep on moving on. iba pa rin kasi feeling ng may mahal at nagmamahal.

Kris Canimo said...

ano ba yan. kinikilig naman ako kay toot. ampf

*kasunod ko pa siya tlaga. hahaha

chase / chubz said...

the smarter the people are the more likey they suck at relationships. yun lng.
sabi ng friend ko.