Tuesday, May 6, 2008

when even trust and maturity fails

past sleep rejoice, ink and paper, 05/05/2008

is there something going on that i was not informed? how come i have a growing list of friends informing me that they have love problems? is it because of the summer heatwave? is it because i am bum? or is it because breakups are in trend?
now, i am beginning to believe that i was indeed a sponge in my past life.
although i am not complaining, don't get me wrong. its just that how come i don't have something like this to tackle about. hahaha!
i was shocked when i read a multiply post of a close friend living abroad. then there was a picture that basically gave me the gist of what was happening about her. but it was just yesterday, when we chatted that she explained to me what was going on. she is thinking of breaking up her boyfriend for more than two years. i was seriously affected because in a way i saw how she grew up with him. how she became more mature not only in the aspect of love, but how she views life even more. they even became my inspiration when it comes to relationship.
i asked if it was because of somebody.
she answered, not really. but in a way the guy she just recently met, confirmed her the growing doubts she has about her boyfirend or atleast the relationship they have. she told me that she thinks that everything between them is entirely different now. seriously, i got more depress than what i thought i could be upon hearing this.
then i thought, is it because the idea that they don't see or feel each other that weakened the bond of their relationship? is it because of the inevitably of meeting someone else along the way? or is it always a matter what is at present? is it simply a matter or loneliness? or probably i am just speculating so many things without really understanding the real deal.
i have been in a long distance relationship when i was in college. but the kind that i have back then was something different. because we never really have any commitments with my "partner." so i really don't have the idea about the pain, the considerations and the doubts one has to invest in such relationship.
now, i just felt bad of what i missed. it left me speechless and dumbdead when a friend needed my say about it.
i always have silence to answer whenever i am asked what i think about long distance relationships. because for me, nobody could really tell if indeed such is possible or not. probably the least i could answer, like most people would say, it would basically depend on the people involved: their trust to one another and the maturity they have.
but after hearing what my friend has to say, i realized it is not always the case. trust lacks because it needs more than assurance to be sustained. while maturity fails because it doesn't only consider one context. and if love is already complicated then the idea of long distance realtionship complicates it more.
the entire thing made me restless last night.
but then i thought, if there is one thing i am confident that i have shared to my friend, that would be assuring herself that whatever she takes just always make sure it is a win-win situation. and no matter how selfish it looks, as long as it would make her happy, do it. because everything would just return back to her for she is the only one who lives her life, afterall.


Mugen said...

"i am just speculating so many things without really understanding the real deal."

- Perhaps... :)

Anonymous said...

"love doesn't end when we don't see each other.."

-the end of affair

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red riding odin hood said...

where do broken hearts go? k wanderer hahahaha

ako rin galing break up! woohoo count me in hahahahaha at masaya pa ako hahaha

♥nova-san said...

I personally don't think long distance relationships can work. Initially, it can be exciting, as the two lovers make constant plans to travel to see each other, but after too much time and and too much distance from each other, it becomes a burden. People need to be with someone they can rely to be there for them, whether's it's an emergency on a Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. or a bootie call on a Friday night at 11:00 p.m. It can get old waiting around for someone who is never there.

Plus, as you said, love is already hard. Distance just makes it even more so.

Long distance relationships can work, provided there is no real commitment, and there is basically an unsaid agreement that you have non-committed lover in another part of the world. Then, that would be exciting. :P

dabo said...

...hmmnn..pati mga comments mo parang mushiness ahh.. i knew it.. in denial ka pa.. lol.

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Nash said...

In reality your girl-friend holds the last decision about their relationship.

All you have to do is to encourage her as much as possible to fix things between them.

Whatever decisions she'll make in the end, accept it whole heartedly. And besides you've done your part as her friend ryt? ^^,

gerrycho said...

hmn... now im wondering if the wandering commuter as a wandering heart as well nyaha!

eniweys... can we exchange links??
included you in my site :D

an ode from thee junkie said...

naiyak ako

salamat ewik, i love you

wanderingcommuter said...

mugen: sabi ko nga din...huhuhu!

dabo: ang ironic ng quote saka ng title. hehehe!

odin: teka, diba kamakailan lang yung relasyon niyo?

novasan: cheers to non commitals!@ hahaha...

dabo: :.... (eto sa iyo)

nash: i couldn't agree less to what you've said...

gerrycho: yun na nga iniiwasan ko eh ang matag na mushy..hahaha!

an ode: hahahaha.. dedicates sa iyo ito.

Turismoboi said...

hay naku!

been there done that!

i knw where ur coming from

dabo said...

hanap ka ng away?

amicus said...

ewan ko. i'm in a long distance relationship for the last 23 months. yes, we have problems as normal couples do. plus we haven't seen each other since god knows when. pero ok lang. eto, buhay pa naman. ehehe

chase / chubz said...

love is about compromises. heheheh
yun lng. wala akong maxadong masabi eh. heheh

Dakilang Tambay said...

yung kaibigan ko long distance relationship din siya. pero ok sila at going strong din :)

the donG said...

what's good about this is that they realized it at this time when they are not yet committed for life. it will be very different when they are already married.

long distance relationships rarely works. it needs a deeper and strong foundation for it to be able to grow and not be idle.

Anonymous said...

i have friends who surpassed long distance relationship...trust and patience lang daw, kaya naman...

nice template bro!

thanks for visiting mine.care for x-link? i just added u anyway.


Coldman said...

for me, LDR never work. I've been there. =)

Ely said...

I always advise my friends to follow their instincts! In fact, i'm the one who gives them the idea of "getting out" of the relationship if it seems to be not working really well... LOL! I thought, why waste time crying when you could be single and happy again...hahaha. Basta i'm single and oh so happy!

pen said...

as for me, my almost 2yo long dist rel is going smoothly. i was able to see the difference between the me-before and the me-now. i've grown a lot, not just personally but also my outlook in life. and that also worked for him in return. you see, it's not the distance. but it is how you keep the relationship; of course fully reinforced w/ trust, constant communication and understanding. he completes me.. (awwww mushyness! ahahaha!)

the one that i had, he lives close to where i live. but no matter how constant we see each other, no matter how near he is, i'm still empty. good thing "we" ended already..hehehe!