when even trust and maturity fails

past sleep rejoice, ink and paper, 05/05/2008

is there something going on that i was not informed? how come i have a growing list of friends informing me that they have love problems? is it because of the summer heatwave? is it because i am bum? or is it because breakups are in trend?
now, i am beginning to believe that i was indeed a sponge in my past life.
although i am not complaining, don't get me wrong. its just that how come i don't have something like this to tackle about. hahaha!
i was shocked when i read a multiply post of a close friend living abroad. then there was a picture that basically gave me the gist of what was happening about her. but it was just yesterday, when we chatted that she explained to me what was going on. she is thinking of breaking up her boyfriend for more than two years. i was seriously affected because in a way i saw how she grew up with him. how she became more mature not only in the aspect of love, but how she views life even more. they even became my inspiration when it comes to relationship.
i asked if it was because of somebody.
she answered, not really. but in a way the guy she just recently met, confirmed her the growing doubts she has about her boyfirend or atleast the relationship they have. she told me that she thinks that everything between them is entirely different now. seriously, i got more depress than what i thought i could be upon hearing this.
then i thought, is it because the idea that they don't see or feel each other that weakened the bond of their relationship? is it because of the inevitably of meeting someone else along the way? or is it always a matter what is at present? is it simply a matter or loneliness? or probably i am just speculating so many things without really understanding the real deal.
i have been in a long distance relationship when i was in college. but the kind that i have back then was something different. because we never really have any commitments with my "partner." so i really don't have the idea about the pain, the considerations and the doubts one has to invest in such relationship.

now, i just felt bad of what i missed. it left me speechless and dumbdead when a friend needed my say about it.
i always have silence to answer whenever i am asked what i think about long distance relationships. because for me, nobody could really tell if indeed such is possible or not. probably the least i could answer, like most people would say, it would basically depend on the people involved: their trust to one another and the maturity they have.
but after hearing what my friend has to say, i realized it is not always the case. trust lacks because it needs more than assurance to be sustained. while maturity fails because it doesn't only consider one context. and if love is already complicated then the idea of long distance realtionship complicates it more.
the entire thing made me restless last night.
but then i thought, if there is one thing i am confident that i have shared to my friend, that would be assuring herself that whatever she takes just always make sure it is a win-win situation. and no matter how selfish it looks, as long as it would make her happy, do it. because everything would just return back to her for she is the only one who lives her life, afterall.