Wednesday, May 21, 2008

what talk shows dont tell you about job interview tips

its been a while since i last did this. so i thought of posting another to get back with all of my responsibilites in this blog. hahaha.

disclaimer: no offense to HR personnels. you have my highest and greatest respect when it comes to the corporate world. hehehe

after my first day for a job interview, here are the things that i've realized and deeply regretted.

7. don't ever bring a brown envelope for your resumes.
although i felt so uncomfortable wearing long sleeves, black pants and leather shoes that day, i really felt that i already look like an executive and gained 2457854123 pogi points as i walk the street to the interview venue. i was beginning to own the entire ortigas as my fashion ramp. i could even see people staring at me on my silhoutte as i pass them by.
god! i am so gorgeous that day or so i thought.

then i noticed that they immediately retrieves their attention by the time they see my brown envelope. i could already hear them saying in their heads,
" hahaha..walang trabaho. nag aaply pa lang!"

all i wanted to do from that point was to throw away the brown envelope together with my resume and personal documents. then go home and cry on my bed. and drown with myself with frustartion and blame the world for being evil and cruel.

6. the most intimidating interviewers are those who are so nice and smile a lot.
nice HR personnels are angels from hell.

my interviewer was a pretty looking lady probably in his mid-20s. she reminded me of kara david, the gma7 reporter. probably if i didn't know myself too well, i could have probably fall into her spell. but on second thought, i think i actually did.

i forgot what i was supposed to do and say the moment i entered the room and saw her. damn! if she just knew how i carefully foresaw and studied every minute of that that interview. i even created a character sketch of the person that i am going to portray: a very corporate, serious and knowledgable person of course. and i also retrieved and acted my notes for proper techniques in conviction and internalizing a character when i was in theater.

but just because of that nice face being radiated with the room's gentle fluroscent light, gentle and fragile voice, and that conscience-fishing-and-guilt-sprouting-smile everything, was put into waste. my thoughts went black empty. my tounge and grammar were already revolting and chanting ANARCHY!!! inside. and even began asking what is the meaning of the word "confidence?"

so be very careful. the moment you stepped in the interviewer room, look and study your interviewer. if the person inside looks like your old-maid elementary librarian and gives you the brows. REJOICE!!!

5. online job search sites are convenient and very accessible. but don't depend on it too much. remember: the more convenient it is to the public, the more competitions you will have.
just for the record, based from my online account in jobstreet, i already have 2584 (pending) applications. 5 failed , the rest are in process and the oldest one is february 22 of this year and its still in process. beat that! i can imagine how difficult a HR's job could be with all these competition. hahaha!

4. be firm on your expected salary, when asked. especially if you think that you deserve it. there is such a word as non-negotiable. but always think that this answer would either consider or break you. don't ask for 50,000 as your basic pay in an entry level job. "hindi ka artista, ate?!"

3. wear your lucky underwear or any object that you believe is lucky. although there is no scientific claim, it still provide a facade confidence to a person. if i only knew about this sooner. atleast i have a pangotra to that interviewer from hell. tsktsk!!!

2. always prepare for the most dreaded question in a job interview: why did you leave your previous company?
based from my HR friends, this is the reason why 75% of applicant didn't make it is because of their answer in this question.
and since i am a very generous person and an advocate for the elimination of unemployed in the country-although i myself is still unemployed, i'll tell you the best answer for it that would lead you to the position.
plain and simple. no more, no less. it should always be for career growth, not world peace. hahaha!

1. in every job interview, don't ever as in ever show any, even in the slightest way of hesitation or intimidation. oops, a 3 second dead air is already a sign of intimidation, my friend. because HR personnels are vicious power trippers. they would drain even the most minute ego you have for their entertainement. no wonder i wanted to be a HR personel as well. too bad i don't have the working experience...

11 comments:

Aracir said...

wow interviews. i'm so bad at this. that's why i don't get the job if i have to go through one. i know i'm very transparent so i give straight to the point answers. have u ever experienced the workers laughing at your answer? or maybe one panelist asking you if u could change ur attitude? i have. =)

Mugen said...

Haha lesson learned: Job interviews make an applicant meek and humble.

When I finally got a job, asus, ang hangin ko. It feels like "Hell, I don't need you, so why do I have to bow to you, you HR thing!"

Marck said...

Ah, brown envelopes... :D

Bino/Geno said...

Haha. Power trippers kami?

theTripper said...

yes, never hesitate. so when an HR of a highly respected corporation asked me what changes i would make for their corporation, i told them i would change their corporate logo. can you beat that? who is this guy? the HR might thought. they did not hire me of course. hahaha.

after 6 months, they did change their logo. they listen to my idea. jerks. :)

jericho said...

i think i'm better at interview portions of beauty contests than in job interviews.... ;)

Vera said...

pag babae ka, wag ka masyadong paganda pag interview na.

hanep yung HR na na encounter ko..
"pls elaborate more" tapos sabay "we're not getting anywhere, pls limit your answer" mga 10 times paulit ulit. so inuulit ko lang din yung sinasagot ko sakanya.

call center 'yon. yeah.

after a month they called back. 1 JOBLESS MONTH. i said no thanks.
in my mind i was telling her: "i dont need a job because i have a career now"

James said...

Great post - I want to second #1 & #2.

It's a shame how so many people fowl up "Why did you leave your last job?" They trash their former employer, complain about something silly such as axing the company Christmas party or find other ways to tell the prospective employer that they're a bad employee.

Good advice,

James
blog.jvf.com

wanderingcommuter said...

aracir: hahaha. ganitong-ganito dina ko. nung nagugutom na ako dahil wala pa rina kong work. inisip ko ng magpakaartista at gumanap ng isang corporate character. try mo din baka makatulong. hahaha!

mugen: ang tawag jan, kaplastikan. hahaha! ang sarap siguro talagang maging HR noh? kung may alam kayo opening ng ganitong position, sabihan niyo ako ha?! hahaha!

marck: yes, marx! its the f*&^*& brown envelope! thanks for the company, btw!

the tripper: they might already thought that if they're going to hire you there will be a drastic and continious changes in the company though in a positive level. so they just thought of not hiring you and go with the changes one at a time.

jericho: so you mean you already joined a beauty contest before?

vera: wow! naks! may ere na sa career niya. hahaha. good for you, vera.

Niel Camhalla said...

i always fake a smile during interviews. i also try to inject a little humor once in a while. umm... make that "i usually become awkwardly funny when i'm nervous." it slightly covers up tension and it can lighten up the mood sometimes.

i also look the interviewer in the eyes to project some sincerity. sabay ngiti na halos mapapapikit na yung right eye na mukhang kumikindat na. in short, pa-cute!

basta i make myself likeable kahit na alam ko na ubod ako ng suplado. sa interviews lumalabas ang plastic powers ko!

and i don't answer any questions with just yes or no. elaborate. elaborate. elaborate!

Ely said...

hahaha. First job interview ko dito sa Manila, naka-long sleeves din ako, slacks at bagong Kiwi na shoes. Tas yung nag-interview saken, naka jeans, tshirt and sneakers lang., LOL. Ayun, we intimidated each other. Siyempre panalo siya, hindi niya ako pinasa!