Wednesday, April 16, 2008

the kuya instinct


latak, paper and color pencil, 041408

last night, i met my sister for dinner in gate way to celebrate her recognition day.

two days from now, she will march her way out of college and get her degree in physical therapy at up manila. well i just can't wait to welcome her in the world of un(der) employed.

i was almost half way there, when my sister informed me that she will be with somebody. then i thought of her best friend from mindanao which is always with her whenever she goes out. although i've met her best friend for quite sometime, i am still not really comfortable meeting with her or my sister's friends. probably because i am really having hard time reaching out to people who i really don't know--- personally. nonetheless, it was my sister's night, so i just have to bear with it.

then, my sister told me it was not her best friend rather her boy friend.

i was shock. it was mix emotions.

probably because it was my first time to hear from a sibling that she is already in a relationship and being the eldest in the breed of four, its something really unexplainable. this is the the time where your blood rushes to your head and floods your rationality.

i know, it is inevitable. because sooner or later my siblings will have the family of their own. i also want to see them happily married and with children of their own. but this came unexpectedly. (although love indeed, comes unexpectedly...ewww, cheesy! BANG!)

probably this is what they call the kuya instinct, where you tend to be very protective with your younger siblings. this is the time, when you see every man as a cunning wolf waiting to attack you're vulnerable baby sister: and the state, where you don't have anything to think of than to hit every being that would approach her.

my imagination that time was so concrete and morbid. as if you are watcing a quentin tarantino or an eli roth's film. i have the urge to see somebody being beaten up to death. but without blood of course, since i am hemaphobic. i want the word "torture him" to be embarked on that man's forehead. i want to see him drying his tear ducts out and begging to stop. oh, the sound of him screaming at the top of his voice was a delight to my ear drums.

then, there they were. my sister smiling back at me as if nothing really big is happening. then she reached another person's hand (WHATTA!!! THEY"RE HOLDING HANDS!!!). she introduced me to her boyfriend, calvin.

calvin was short, dark and typically looking. at first glance. you'll know that he was the silent and shy type. i am probably almost a foot taller than him and i can just feel the power gathering inside my forefinger where i could just flick him and the impact will just fly him wherever the hell he came from.

he offered me his hand. the initial thinking was: crush it! crush it! but i gently reached it, gave him a type of smile that you can buy in a hobby shop and introduced myself.

then i went back to my sister and gave her something. i just told her my congratulations and excuse myself because i'll be needing to meet someone. from the tone of my voice, she already knew what i meant---it was something urgent. oh! i am such a good actor.

but i promised her that i'll be at her graduation and make it up there. i waived my goodbye to her and to calvin. he asked why i am not coming. my alter ego wanted to shout back: the hell you care! but i told him that i need to go somewhere else.

while i was my way home, i felt that it was indeed a weird experience. the feeling, the thoughts flying in my mind, everything.

then i thought is it really the kuya instinct that is making me feel this? or is it the fact, that i am just envious that my sister currently has one while i don't? hahaha.

well. whatever that be, i still think that it is something worth to post.

23 comments:

mink said...

i like your reaction system:

CRUSH IT!! CRUSH IT!!

so classic

;)

cedeux said...

hahaha. si kuya naman. protective masyado. pero nakakatuwa yang ganyan. isa lng babae samin 4 din na magkakapatid. kahit mas matanda sya sakin, ayoko ng ginagago un.

ingats kuya ha=] mas matanda nga pla ko sau. hehehe. teka nagbday knb?

blackdarkheart said...

jos ko day, baka nga inggit lang yan. Di naman masama mainggit paminsaminsa dava?

emoterang nurse said...

if it is is kuya's instinct, i envy your sister for having a kuya like you...coz i don't have an older brother that's y...

if it is envy coz ur single, your surely find one in God's time...:)

WHITE said...

though i don't have any younger sibling (i am bunso), i experienced such feelings with my niece. she introduced her boyfriend to me before anyone else hehe

Mugen said...

There's a possibility we would bump into each other on Friday. :)

Abou said...

mawawala lang ang inggit pag meron ka na din ha ha.

Anonymous said...

hahaha grabe nakaka-relate ata ako... hope you don't mind I featured you on the whatsikat blog, whatsikat.com/blog/

Bino/Geno said...

Haha. I see even gay guys have the kuya instinct. Pano kaya kung ikaw ang may kadate? Hehe.

♥nova-san said...

This post had me laughing. I wonder if my older brother ever felt like this when we were growing up.

It's so true though, that we always feel that no one could ever be good enough for our siblings or family members. But oh, do I pity the boy that would dare to cross your sister! Then there would definitely be a lot of crushing going on. Hahahaha!

Oh, and congratulations to your sister! =)

wanderingcommuter said...

mink: its a natural response i guess.

cedeux: hidni pa...my birthday is july...teka bakit mo natanong? may gift ka ba? hahaha.
naku, kuyang kuya talaga ako... hahaha.

blackdarkheart: may palagay nga ako na inggit nga ito kahit ayaw ko'ng aminin. ma-shock na lang kapatid ko kapag ako ang nagpakilala sa kanya ng karelasyon ko...hahaha.

emoterang nurse: naku. you would feel the same way too kapag nagkaroon na ng kani-kanilang karelasyon mga siblings mo. balita ko mas grabe ang instinct ng mga ate. hahaha.

white: di ba iba ang feeling..tsktsk. ganun talga siguro kapag tarantado ka. galit ka sa kapwa sa tarantado..hehehe

mugen: bakit aattend ka rin ba ng graduatin???oh ikaw mismo ang gragraduate?

abou: palagay ko din.. pero bakit ang tagal naman? unfortunately, my sister has tro bear with it. hanggat wala pa ako. hahaha

whatsikat: salamat sa pagfeature...ang galing naman. hahaha.

binio: maloka na lang ang kapatid ko kapag ako ang nakipag date...pero feeling ko iiyak yun,.

novasan: definitely, he had. hehehe. makakarating aunt...hehehe.
naku, siguro kapag alam mong tarantado ka, ayaw mong tinatarantado ang kapatid mo...

Ely said...

that must be a kuya instinct indeed. or maybe your just jealous. hehe

Mel said...

we have our elder and only sister 4 years ahead of me. nagkataon lang na mas bata siya tignan at magisip, yet me and my brother would like to see her get a boyfriend tapos...

CRUSH IT! CRUSH IT!

haha solid na expression yan! haha!

next time, practice na ako ng aikido para kung sakaling may magkamaling manloko sa ate namin! haha

apir!

regarding my latest post: thanks for your comment, never really occured to me that what i have inside my head affects people in some ways :)

KRIS JASPER said...

worried ka lang yata na nagkakarelasyon na kapatid mo... meaning, nagkaka-edad ka na. (joke lang kuya) lol.

amicus said...

pupunta ka sa univ grad ng upm? baka may makita kang isang sinto sinto dun na ang pangalan ay amikus. hehe. :) -although they know me in my common name, michael-

Anino said...

Ako din ganyan.Kaya lang walang karapatan dahil ako ang bunso.

Mugen said...

Gra-graduate utol ko eh. Heheh. Problema ko pa nga paano babangon ng 6 am bukas.

Keitaro Hanazawa said...

nasa gateway ka rin kagabi? Bakit di kita nakita?

red riding odin hood said...

wala ako sister pero i have a girl cousin who's older, at lahat ng nakikilala ko na nanliligaw sa kanya di ko type. so sobrang dami nanligaw sa kanya wala pa tlaga ako nagustuhan kahit isa. im sure di ako jealous.

hahahaha naalala ko din ung one and only time pinakilala ng kuya ko yung gf niya... NOBODY in the family liked her kasi sobrang pangit ng girl (exagge ang haba ng baba, malulula ka!haha) at hindi rin maganda ugali! at may anak na rin kasi yung girl kaya sobrang inayawan tlaga ng parents ko. hahaha

acey said...

hahaha. you're funny, kuya!

Eben said...

kuya instinct nga yan, ganyan din ako sa mga younger siblings ko na babae(ako'y panganay din). tuwing tinatawagan ko sila para kamustahin lagi ko sinasabi saka na muna yang mga boypren boypren na yan mag-aral muna sila. haha! kung mang-sermon daw ako daig ko pa parents namin. :D

an ode from thee junkie said...

sakin ba may kuya instinct ka???



miss na kita hehe

dabo said...

i never had a kuya.. and im proud of your protective instincts!