why rent?

lately, i kept on ranting to dabo* and kuya joms how i hated going to work. dabo's usual reply and famous line would always be, "work pays the rent."
then just tonight, i remembered this commercial from the national housing authority, where a woman asked her husband, who was furious with their landlady because of frequent house rent increase,"habambuhay na lang ba tayong mangungupahan?"
although, i am not really a strong believer of the government's endless promises and hypnotic junks, the question moved me in a way.
i remembered a period in my life, where i was so hooked into this business-oriented show in rpn 9, go negosyo, where i would literally wake up before the show begins. sometimes its even out of will. the obssession was not only because of its charming hosts nor the fact that its not favorable to sleep under a hot manila afternoon, but also because the show is really engaging and inspiring.
they have this one episode that i will never forget, where they interviewed a successful filipino entrepreneur (i forgot the name though). the man said that one reason why there are only a number of successful businessmen in the country is because filipinos are "culturally not risk takers". they are more comfortable being employees. since being one, would only require them to work their asses and then just expect their salary every 15th and 30th day of the month. in a way, what he said is actually true and has a point. i thought, probably the riskiest and most common thing that most filipino venture, is opening up a sari-sari store.
for most of us, we are scared of failures and even more afraid with the idea that we may not be able to stand in our feet anymore once we fall, atleast financially.
i would not deny the fact that i am one of them. honestly, i would probably be one of the most unconfident person that you'll ever meet. but please don't give me your alms--- yet.
i eat, drink, and live with "constructive" criticisms all my life, that i already forgot how to accept compliments. this eventually reared me, unconsciously, to be a perfectionist, as much as i want to deny it. i do appreciate the things that i have done. but by the time i would compare it to another person's work, that is the time that i am bombarding myself with the mistakes and flaws. then insecurities will just follow.
a year ago, a friend manage to see the compilation of my art works and liked it.
then she asked, "are you selling your pieces?"
i said "no."
she asked, "why?"
i told her, "would you sell a piece of your memory that already became a piece of yourself?"
she didn't answer my question. but told me that her fiance's family business is into art exhibits. she offered me a venue and equipments for free. but i didn't answer her (as well).
now, burnt out of the things i do at work, i am already considering the invitation. i realized that i need to stop being sentimental about things of my past and begin creating new ones from the things that is ahead of me.


*i don't know why i don't call him kuya? baka kasi offending saka compliment sa kanya yun. since he's older than kuya joms... HAHAHA! its back, DABO, ITS BACK!!!