Sunday, October 26, 2008

another gloomy sunday evening

the moon was already at its peak. but i could tell from the looks of it, it would be a gloomy sunday evening.

we were walking along ayala avenue, bearing the moment of not touching hands---afraid of being caught by someone who knows us and most importantly those who don't. its one of those devastating feeling, if you ask me, the feeling of being vulnerable.


source


at that moment, all i could do is to surrender myself to the luring serenity of the place and walk silently until we reach our destination. then, LB finally broke the silence and said,

"the place is barely deserted as if we own it."

i wanted to affirm the thought, atleast to believe that we really do and put a smile on our faces and attached it with sweet words, saying how romantic it was. but i couldn't find any way to express it, from which my heart will agree. i realized that it was the only thing in this world not worth owning--- the feeling of loneliness despite you are with someone.

how can i say that we own the place, if both of us could not even feel each other's hands? if we are both paranoid about so many things that might come ahead of us? i know that we have the option of not minding whatever will come our way.

but i guess, it is indeed, easily said than done.

17 comments:

Mugen said...

I read between the lines Ewwwik. This time i'd get serious. If you wish to talk to me about your uncertainties and anxieties, you know that I'm just a text away.

Always be well.

amicus said...

i am currently thinking about "times are changing" and "next generation", but i can't seem to link it together as a reply to your post. is it about the hands really? or the "you/me and me against the world" drama that people love-hate-love-hate all the time? mm?

Mel said...

i know exactly how it feels...

gillboard said...

im wondering how the night would be gloomy if you're with the one you like.

touch/no touch.. as long you feel the same way, ok na yun...

RONeiluke, RN said...

"i realized that it was the only thing in this world not worth owning--- the feeling of loneliness despite you are with someone."

being an inch close with the person you love and not be able to touch him/her is the most ugly feeling. it's like you're itching somewhere and there's no way to scratch it...hays...

is it possible to love and be not afraid???

PROSETITUTE said...

cheer up. at least, may LB ka. :P

no, seriously. i was thinking bakit gloomy ka that night to think na magkasama naman kayo... yung nga lang hindi kayo magka-holding hands.

or. baka naman holding hands is just a metaphor.

the spool artist said...

i am transported back to makati on a sunday evening with your post! do that again during holy week... siguradong you will be the only souls left in makati! lol.

the donG said...

i say these feelings is quite normal to the many people still seeking for genuine love.

Jinjiruks said...

buti kpa may LB eh ako wala nga. kahit gusto ko man makipag-HH, wala namang hahawak sa kamay ko. *sigh* kung alam mo lang pakiramdam na nag-iisa sa loob ng ilang taon na. maswerte kapa kung tutuusin. ^^;

nova-san said...

I guess then, it's a matter of finding someone who will make you feel not afraid to do whatever is in your heart to do, to be with that one person for whom you will forsake all fear and all vulnerability, and really surrender to that moment and just be with one another.

Kyogre said...

this affirms my previous statement.

emo ka talaga pare. but of course, who isn't when confronted by the situation you just painted.

very serene, dry, lonely picture.

but be happy, you have somebody by your side.

~Kinesics said...

Sometimes, you guys have just to let go and enjoy your moment and never mind the rest. The more you pay attention to others (or what they might say), anxities add up. I am pretty sure you guys find your own time, in your own world, where you guys can be whatever you guys want to be and do whatever pleases you both.

Find more time doing that "you and him alone" and going to that "place" where you can find your true selves. And I hope it makes you both happy. :) You two DESERVE it.

And you know what? You have him. You should be smiling :)

~kinesics

Niel Camhalla said...

Things are just waiting to be resolved. Waiting for you I guess.

Denis said...

dropped a tear- well almost


nah kidding. hey ur not that young, kiss the gurl and make her cry hahah

i dont know wat im saying.


nice dramatic ending.

Looking For The Source said...

don't think of what others would, they'd only make you miserable.

be happy. you have LB!

RJ said...

Nice!

I really can't comment because I haven't read the prequel of this post, should there be any. But yes, I appreciate the way you tell this story. I could really feel what you felt that night!

joaqui_miguel said...

I know it is a little bit difficult but at times, when you are with someone you love just relax and enjoy the moment together even if it means to hold hands while walking.

People who don't know you will forget about it and their memories will be filled with other things, but in your memory that moment will remain and will be cherished for a long time.

Just my two cents. :)