10 signs para malaman mo kung may boy/girl friend na ang crush mo (o babastedin ka ng liligawan mo)

10. mas updated at lagi siyang unang nakapanuod ng sine kesa sa iyo. pero kapag niyaya niyo naman, madami siyang excuses.
matapos ka'ng magnobena at humingi ng tulong kay sta.clara, st.jude at kerubin, niyaya mo ang crush mo manuod ng sine. banat mo pa, "napanood mo na ba ang ______?"
sagot naman niya, "oo, ang galing ng efex nun."
"eh yung __________?"
"oo, okay lang naman. mas dvd watching siya eh.
""aaahhh... yung pinakabago, yung ______________?"
"yup, nung rest day lang."
kulang na lang talaga tanungin mo, "bakit hindi ka nagyayaya?"
"gusto mo ba'ng manuod ng sine buklas? kahit ano'ng hidni mo pa napapanuod?"
"naku, super busy ako lately eh...."
ewan ko na lang kung hindi ka talaga mapamura.

9. kapag naging (mas) maporma at nagpapabango na siya ngayon.
kung isang araw, may naamoy ka'ng mabango, tapos first time mo pa'ng maamoy ito, at lalo na hindi pa naman malapit ang pay day, hanapin mo kaagad ang crush mo. kapag nakita mo siya na nakapower dress at malayo sa typical look niyang tshirt, jeans at rubber shoes o tsinelas. kabahan ka na, tsong!

8. kasama na sa expression niya ang linyang: "hindi ako pwede eh. may gagawin/pupuntahan ako".
kapag narerealize mo na lang na alam mo na ang pangalan ng tatay at nanay niya, mga kapatid niya, pet niya at lolo't lola niya o basically, alam mo na ang buong family tree niya kahit hindi mo pa sila nakikita. naku, wag ka'ng maging feelingero, hindi ka niya ipapakilala sa kanila. ginagamit lang niya, sila as an excuse para hindi sumama sa iyo.

7. hindi sumasabay umuwi, laging nauuna o iba ang dinaadaanan.
isang oras ka ng naghihintay sa labas. wishful thinking na pwede mo siyang sabayan sa pag uwi at maihatid man lang sa kanila. first move itong ng panliligaw kapag nagkataon. pero huli na ng malaman mo, kanina pa pala siya lumabas. at infact, mas nauna pa pala siyang lumabas sa iyo. the next day, gusto mo'ng kornerin. sinigurado mo ng mauuna ka'ng lumabas. nung nahuli mo na at inalok sabayan sa pag uwi, biglang nagtawag ng taxi at natatae na daw siya.ayun! dugo ang puso, durog ang first move...

6. Kapag may sudden change ng routine at hindi niyo na siya madalas kasama.
kapag madalang niyo na siyang nakakasama: sa ibang lugar na siya kumakain, sa ibang side na siya ng building nagyoyosi at iba na rin ang brand ng yosi niya---hindi ito simpleng pagbabago o make over lang, may nag iimpluwensiya sa kanya. believe me!

5. kapag patay na rin ang kanyang friendster, multiply, facebook at iba pang social networking site> last log in more than 3 weeks ago.
kasama sa panliligaw strategy mo ang pang-iistalk. at isang efecktib way ay anonymous viewing sa mga profiles niya sa internet, para malaman mo ang kanyang interest, favorites at madalas puntahan. pero 3 linggo ka nang nag oonline, ubos na ang pera mo sa kakarenta sa netopia, hindi pa rin siya nag uupdate at nag oonline. ang masaklap pa, nakaprivate viewing siya at hindi pa niya inaaccept ang invitation mo. haaay, sayang pera!

4. hindi o madalang na siya nag tetext. kahit lagi mo naman siya nakikitang nag tetext mag isa.
nagising ka isang araw at narealize mo na namimiss mo na ang mga text messages niya kahit na group forward messages pa ito. tapos isang araw, matutuwa ka dahil nag "goodmorning" siya. pero nang rineplyan mo naman, hindi na siya na nag reply back. minisscall mo pa pero wala pa ring epek, wala talagang reply.pero nang biglang pasuko ka na, biglang tumunog ang cellphone mo. magmamadali ka'ng iopen ang message tapos madadagdagan lang ang inis mo dahil globe advisory lang pala. argh!

3. kapag pumasok siyang naka turtle neck kahit hindi naman malamig o may band aid sa mga weird part ng katawan with the excuse na nakagat ng malaking kulisap.
matapos ang mga serye ng biglaang pag popower dress, magugulat ka na lang dahil papasok siya ng naka turtle neck kahit naknakan naman ng init sa labas. kung hindi naman talaga kaya ang init, nag baband aid pero super last resort na ito. panahon pa yata ng lolo at lola ko, ganito na ang mga style ng mga nagtatago.tip naman sa mga crinu-crush-an, pasalamat ka at uso ang mga scarf lately. kaya pwede mo'ng itago yan, kung ano man yan, gamit ito. kaya hindi magiging ganun ka obvious. *sorry dude, ayoko lang maging bias sa mga readers ko. its a subtle way of saying, i understand what they are going through. naks naman!

2. biglang bawal na mag overnight o mag inuman sa kanila.
ang bahay na pinag uugatan ng lahat ng nararamdaman mo. ang lugar kung saan mo siya unang nakilala: ngayon ay close na. kahit makailan ulit kang magyaya at kahit back up-an ka ng mga kaibigan niyo, hindi na raw talaga pwede mga visitors dun. siyempre classic na excuse dito ay nagagalit ang land lady, ang mga kapit bahay, ang mga askal at pusakal.

1. kapag may sun cellular na number na siya.
talaga nga namang hindi ka pa talaga sumusuko at natatauhan noh?!last resort na talaga, tatawagan mo na siya kahit below 20 pesos na lang load mo. kaso kahit ang pagpapaulan ng mga chummy at personalized messages ay walang epek at unlitxt na ang sumusuko, wala pa rin response. kungkaya't tawagan mo na. pero kung biglang nag out-of-coverage area, naku, isa lang nag ibig sabihin niyan mayroon siyang sun cell na tanging karelasyon niya lang ang laman sa phonebook. sa kasalukuyan, habang ikaw ay nagmumukmok sa kinalalagyan mo, sila naman ay nagpapalapnos ng tenga sa pakikitelebabad sa isa't-isa.

living in full connection

*as requested by bino/gino

life is too short not to be lived to the fullest. but life can also be shorter for those who don't practice precautions.

in the life that we are living today, most of us, one way or another, have opted living beyond the typical social conventions. one example is regarding our views when it come to our sexual behaviors and practices.

our society has lived with the concept of sex as constrained within the conditions of marriage and religious belief over many generations. sex has/had become more of a priveledge rather than a human right or instict.

source

but within the folds of modernity, liberal thinking has emerged and slowly but drastically changed this view. for most of us, especially those who are living within the urban setting, sex has slowly coming out of the shell of being tabboo and even from being exclusive and private. it no longer even talks of greater weight and sensitivity for some.

one manifestation of it, is the wide presence of various venues in which we could find and practice sex even without the permission and constrictions of marriage. we have the cyberspace, bars, cinema houses, bath and spa houses and even inside public vehicles for crying out loud. inshort, sexual space has become borderless and transgresses beyond the four corners of our private rooms. in effect, men have also reinvented human relationships.

but like any other things that come along with change, risks and disadvantages are also inevitable. for this case, the emergence of HIV and AIDS have become one of, if not, the greatest threat to mankind. although there are still great numbers of diseases that science haven't come out with a cure yet, these diseases have become one of the leading burdens to us due to its unimaginable rapid spread around the world, and as mentioned, these don't excempt any country. in the philippines alone, it is believed that there is a higher number of unreported cases than the reported ones: making it more alarming. thus, i believe that educating and reminding (for those who already know this) people about it, is men's greatest weapon against such.

source

cris is married to a loving wife and a father of two. he is living a typical life as a family man: he is a good provider, he takes his children to their school early in the morning before going straight to work. he goes home laying in bed together with his wife and plan the future of their family before they go to sleep, etc. he is a hard working supervisor in a well-known real estate company and about to get another promotion in a couple of months time. but when everything about him is about to be ideal, cris later confessed one flaw: he was having multiple extra marital relationships. most of which, are from women in beer houses and "sin" places, that he frequently visits after work.

he went ill and later diagnosed positive of aids. his life crumbled down and affected his family and work. later on, his wife went positive as well. after knowing it, the wife still decided to be with him. she believes that there is no more sense of crying over spilled milk: what happened has happened. atleast, they are doing this for their kids. they want to be with their kids in almost everything that they do and then latter planned to send them to their relatives by the time their moment comes.

source

joseph is good-looking, middle aged yuppy. he has a secured job, a nice place and living his life as a well-off non-committal lad. during his past time, you would probably see him picking up people in the internet. he is straight forward especially when it comes to dealing with people. he immediately lays his cards down whenever he is about to meet someone: and even if the cards only spell A, J, Q, K and the rest are numbers, these people could apparently read is as sex---and just plain sex.

source

for him, sex should always be unsafe sex. if it involves wearing condoms, it is no pleasure nor fun, thus, it is no sex at all. later on, when he had his annual general check up, he learned that he was positive with HIV. nonetheless, he declined medication and just continued the life(again) he has but in a more "meaningful perspective".

indeed, we live our lives entangled with another person's life and so is he to another and to another until we find ourselves connected to the last person of the same thread. basically, whatever we do affects the entire web and so are they. thus, following the logic, if one decides to put in something in the flow, can you imagine, how much it will affect us all? we may never know cris or joseph. but if we have been hit with the same mishap, can we say that we were able to live our lives to the fullest already---now, that our life already has its own deadline?

for me, life is always a matter of choice. regardless what the decision may be, as long as you live it together with the responsibilities it entail, act upon it to yourself and with consideration to others.

but don't get me wrong, folks. i am not blaming anyone for what has happened regarding the issue because to begin with, there is really nothing to blame. everything that happened to this very moment is a natural thing. and as part of the process, we, as human beings are also entitled to commit mistakes regardless if its intentional or not. what matters is, as long as we have gained the gist and the morale of the experience and apply it on how we live our life the next day, then we could say that we have indeed living our life to the fullest.

source

i actually admire these people because for them, it is no longer a matter of how long they live anymore. its more of the appreciation and how they are valuing their life each day after everything that happened. in addition, we should never isolate or discriminate those who have it, just because of the fear that we might get infected by mere talking to them. hiv and aids may be the two of the most uncurable and dreaded diseases, but they are not easily pass from one person to another. we should look at their life not through what happened in the past but what they are at present. in fact, you'll might be surprised of the lessons they can give to you such as those that we have often taken for granted.

i must admit, before, i usually went into tears just reading and watching these kind of stories. probably because of the fear inside, that what if it happenened to me in the future or what if i even have it now (knock in the wood), is there enough time for me to be able to catch upon those things that i want to do and i want to become?

but after writing this post, i have realized that life is not a matter of thinking what is ahead. it is actually how you live your life at present. it is not only enjoying and living every second of it. but most importantly appreciating and valuing it through just precautions.

lunch talks

when a person had an affair to another person after getting married, is it called cheating?


yes.


but what if, a person had an affair before getting married to another person and still continued the affair to the former, is it also called cheating?


it depends.





***remember allan? he is my officemate that has a boy friend, who is married and has a son.





when he opened this to us during our lunch break, one of our male officemate reacted, "home wrecker!"


no one from the group actually reacted nor contested back: a subtle way of affirming the remark. when allan realized this, he reacted, "it was not really my fault when in fact, i came in the picture first before my boyfriend actually got married."


jonathan answered,"even so. if you already knew that your boyfriend got married, you should have avoided him already. in consideration, atleast to their son."


"he just impregnated his wife by accident, than, that is why he was forced by his wife's family to marry her."


"marriage is marriage. regradless, if the marriage is a cause or a product of something else, we should still respect it."


from that point, i felt that the conversation is already beginning to create a friction. so i decided to butt in. i told jonathan, "you need to consider the condition that allan has because in the first place, he doesn't have any option for marriage. eventhough he or they wanted too, he simply can't. since there is no same sex marriage in the country."


on the other hand, i told allan that, "it is no excuse who comes first in the relationship. what matters is where the mutual decision is coming from and in consideration with the consequences and responsibilities it entail."


i added to allan, if only his boyfriend was probably there, i would have told him, "here's my phone and try calling taiwan. your hair might be being stepped on and run over by the people there right now. but seriously speaking, "make up your mind, dude! you can never have them both at the same time without hurting another person's feelings. not unless, your wife would agree to the set up that you three will share. because as of the moment, you are playing with somebody's feeling behind her back."


then all of us,became silent. we paused for a moment and then continued eating our lunch. then, i just realized how intellectual the conversation had been and i also felt that probably my officemates also freaked out with the realization. it also came to me that not all my officemates were pigs. i was lucky enough to have another set of individuals who i can strike a good conversation with. i learned that it is indeed just a matter of finding the right group in the right time and right place.


then allan spoke, "well, i just can't imagine his wife's boobs brushing on mine nor her catching my load. its just way over my imagination."everybody grossed out and "eeeewwww"-ed. then we all laughed. i even had goosebumps just imagining the picture. so jonathan just called for smoke and everybody stood up, except allan and i, and followed him. i thought, how soft stomached this guys are for losing their appetite as quick as that . but it didn't actually took allan that long to stood up and excused himself to smoke as well. when i went back to my plate to finish my meal. i found myself having difficulties finishing my meal as well. i just realized that all of us were actually having an over cookedmiso soup on the side.

source

when i went out the building, i saw them all laughing at me. then jonathan asked me if i were able to finish my soup? i just then smiled naively.

contentment

you wake up bathing with sweat. even with your eyes still half close, your hand automatically reaches your phone. it already knows where your cellphone is, even if it already roamed your entire bed while you were fast asleep. you checked for some messages and missed calls. then reply to them with some sense. after realizing you are no longer dreaming, you get out of your bed and head to the toilet. after you're regime, you go back to your craddle and turn the television on. you scan for any interesting show in a typical noon. once settled, you open your laptop and check for any emails. you surf for a number of websites until your tummy pleads, thats your queu.you then decide to put in your slippers and hit the streets. you drag yourself in search for a place that you haven't eaten yet. but the choices are thin, especially if you are living in a place for most of your years.
after taming your stomach for a moment, you then return back home. while walking, you'll calculate how many hours left (like you usually do) before you need to go to work again. once you have determined it, you'll squeeze yourself out for something worthwhile doing. but the prize is as scarce as a diamond in a pile of broken glasses. so at the end, you find yourself forced to watch either a movie that you have already seen for the sixth time or daisy siete when worst comes to worst.by the time you need to prepare for work, that is the moment that you'll start bargaining for another 15 minutes with yourself. chances are, if the diligent ego wins, you will have an extra 30 minutes to smoke before going to work. but if the stubborn-you wins, you'll lose another 200 php for the taxi fare.then after a long day of work, you'll find yourself exhaustingly walking and commuting towards home alone. nothing in mind but to lay down on your bed and sleep until you never wake up. until you dream a small house infront of a beach, frames and frames of colorful canvasses, rolling terrains and two hands holding one another. but before you know it, you will open your eyes again and realize that you are bathing with your own sweat. there, the same cycle continues. you'll tell yourself that your routine seems to be endless.
***contentment is probably man's missing other half. almost everybody keeps on searching for it through material wealth, bodily pleasure, emotional stability and even intellectual satisfaction. but sometimes, once it is achieved, we will then realized that this is not the true contentment that we are looking for. thus, we look again.everybody is endlessly chasing it: without knowing that the path that we are taking is actually our own routines. nonetheless, everyone will agree, that not all of us have the same form of contentment. it may vary from one another. and for some of us, we even find our own contentments in the very routine that we are taking.
well, i just wish that i am one of them, who can live and loves their routine.

colonel

seriously my officemates are driving me nuts. after what happened to ryan, another officemate crack another story that drive me rolling over the floor. allan is a cross dresser gay probably in his late 30s to early 40s. but unlike, the general perception against them, he tags himself as more conservative, demour and tend to shy away from the stereotypes. he is currently living with his boy friend. whereas, his partner also has a wife and a son. not to mention the fact, that the wife was actually my officemate's former student when he was still teaching in the province. and up until now, she still doesn't have the slightest idea that they are together (i felt that some may react upon this, so i have thought of having a different post to it---watch out). anyhow, the actual story is this: one day, after having lunch, me, allan and another officemate decided to smoke outside. we spent the remaining time before going back in again, talking. the conversation went really interesting and funny, especially when we have managed to convince allan to open up his wild side.among the stories he have told us, the one that really gave me the laugh, was when he was in high school. he narrated that when he was in his senior high, he and his other gay friends attended a camping event as part of their CAT class. "living gay during my time was difficult," he said, "most of the time we were ridiculed, isolated and beaten up. as much as we want to fight back, we can't. for it was the rule of the game."but among the people who discriminated them, it was coronel who catched their attention. all of his gay friends happen to have a hint that coronel is actually gay too. but because of lack of evidence and fear that they maybe discriminated again or worst beaten up hard(er), they chose not to push the suspicion.then one night, after the officer-in-charge called for lights off, he and his gay friends thought of a very naughty plan. (i think, probably this is their own way of getting even.)when they've felt that everyone was already asleep. they individually sneaked into their lower batch's tents. my officemate went directly towards his crush's tent and lied beside him. his prospect was lying on his side. so allan tried turning sideways as well. when there was no act of refusal made by his crush, he carefully put his hand to his crush's tummy and gently slip into his penis. then the cadet whispered, "colonel?"allan was extremely surprised of what he have heard. caught with the moment, allan pretended to be the colonel and gave out a soft moan as a sign of affirmation. the cadet didn't move and continued pretending to be asleep. so my officemate continued pretending he was the colonel as well and followed the original plan. when the plan was consummated, he immediately went outside the tent and proceeded to theirs. he was laughing all throughout that evening until the next day. knowing that, the cadet just confirmed to him their suspicion against colonel and made his plan to his crush a success. i was really laughing hard after hearing it. although, it frightened me at first, because of the idea that what he did was actually harassment. but then he confirmed to us that it was him ages ago. when his libido was at the peak of his teenage life, like any other people have gone. where acceptance and mere tolerance for them were not an option for their gender.now, he claims that he is a more mature person, who believes that sex is not the only thing that should revolve within one's life. he learned that sometimes especially in his context, being more practical and rational should always be above any sexual drives. for a moment, i felt like i am talking to myself. but after the idea sunk in, i found myself laughing hard again to the picture of the cadet whispering, "colonel?"
hahaha.

the mysterious sanitary napkin

disclaimer: the following post should be treated academically and with an open mind. **i have thought that it may be deemed offensive to some. but this disclaimer is used to give each reader a heads up that no offensement or in any way, was intended.

ever since i was a kid, i always have these fascinations with sanitary napkins. not because i want to wear them. but because i never really understood what they are for and how come they are being handed so discreetly and by women alone. i wondered how come my mom, aunts and older cousins would actually hide it from view. they would even ask the store to wrap it with brown paper.

so being the curious kid i was, one day, i climbed my mom's cabinet and reached a box of napkins to have a close look at it.i pulled up one from the box and it has an odd shape that reminded me of the bath soap we were using. it was also made of plain cotton that reminded me of my baby sister's diapers. but there is no belt nor strap: it was just there lying flat.

"nothing special," i thought.

then at the bottom part of it, i felt and saw a sticker cover. so i excitedly peeled it off. after determining it was indeed a sticker, i immediately went downstairs and stick it to our refrigerator, that was already filled with mostly lion king and pocahontas stickers (those that came in free in maggi noodles before), that my siblings and i are religiously collecting. my mom went hysterical when she arrived home and saw the napkin hanging on our refrigerator's door. she immediately ask us who put the napkin on there. no one was admitting it. my siblings didn't actually saw me. so they can't seriously blame me as well. then my siblings started crying and i was about to cry as well. so i raised my hand and bursted to tears. my mom gave me a spank or two and immediately peeled the napkin out from the metal box and threw it to the bin.
i cried the whole night, not because of the spank but because my mom never told me the reason why she spanked me or atleast, explain to me what the sanitary napkin is really for. ever since that moment, i never asked myself anything nor gained any interest/curiousity about it anymore. until i grew up, i have associated napkin with something forbidden. a thing that should never be discussed: like the character of lord voldemort in the harry potter series. in other words, napkin for me spells trouble. i was already in college when i came across with it once again. i lived in a coed apartment in baguio, which was basically consist of friends and org mates from school.
one morning, while i am waiting for my turn for the bath room. i saw camille, one of my housemates, infront of me in the line. i remembered i was drinking coffee and observing her while she was fixing her bathing stuffs: her undergarments, her tooth brush, her soap, facial cleanser, shampoo and conditioner. i even remembered she was just wearing a towel wrapped around her and it seemed like she woke up on the wrong side of her bed or probably she was already late for her class. then she gasped, she forgot something. she immediately ran to her room and even shouted at me, not to cut before her. ofcourse i didn't, being in an apartment were girls over numbering the boys, pissing them off is the last thing that you would do. there were even times while i was living there, that i actually no longer believe that our society is patriarch. just kidding!
anyhow, it didn't really took that long when she came back. she was carrying a small plastic box that was pretty familiar. i have just realized what it was when i saw the brand name, it was a napkin. she pulled a piece out of it and unwrapped it. she peeled the sticker cover at the bottom and carefully placed it on her underwear. i was amazed!
she saw me with the face and gave me a frown. uh-oh, i think i totally pissed her off. "what are you staring at? is this the first time you saw a napkin?" then the bath room's door opened and another housemate went out, his lips were deep red and trembling. smoke was even coming out of his mouth (from that moment, i figured out that heater was broke again). camille gathered her things and immediately went in. i was left there sitting on my chair, amazed and mesmerized with the fact that i have finally discovered what the napkin is for and how it is use.
four years after, i was standing inside the lrt-purple line station in cubao, waiting for the train. good thing that they have this jollibee board to give their passengers a heads up when the train will arrive. after 30 seconds the train arrived in a very odd paintcolor. it was a combination of blue, pink and what have you. there were also flowers and lady cartoons that accentuated the entire puv. then a huge brand name passed by me. it was the same napkin brand camille was using before.
the picture of the train was truly jaw dropping. the entire train was covered with the actual wrapper design of the napkin brand.
i was even quite hesitant to go inside at first. for even the inside was designed with various icons and designs: there were various women icons that were making up, biking, reading book, drinking coffee etc. from the moment i rode the train and dropped off from my station, the ambience made me realized what a napkin is inside its container. i have became a napkin for 15 minutes of my life.
there were so many things going inside my head after that ride. basically, with regard to the question, why women are discreet when it comes to buying and using napkins?aside from the practical reason that they don't want other people to know that they are presently having their periods and what have you. whats to hide? is it to hide it from people so that they won't know that one has her monthly period? well, i may sound pa-naive but i really don't understand? does somebody have an idea? is society has something to do with it again?
then i realized, my fascination to sanitary napkins seemed endless and i just can't stop asking for more. i thought if only i was in this gender class when i was still in college, where all the boys in the class were required to wear a napkin for one whole day and they discussed it afterwards, probably i now have an idea about this things.
but let me try. here is my thought about the subject in a social anthropological perspective. across some societies, menarche are often deemed as something unpure, dirty and even bringer of bad fortune. click here.

this concept mostly lived among societies of extreme patriarchy. although such belief is not applicable in the country, there are some that still believe that menarche symbolizes a woman's weakness and vulnerabiltiy. well everything that is deemed to be feminine or feminine in character in a patriarchal society is always deemed to be such. hence, menarche is not an exemption.
sanitary napkins, on the other hand, is an object that has a direct association with a woman's menstrual period. subliminally, a woman sees herself vulnerable and weak (especially if her period comes with dysmenorrhea for that matter) whenever she has her period. she is unable to move much and conscious in every movement she makes. thus, having or carrying a sanitary napkin can be deemed as something that shows her vulnerability and weaknesses on such occasion.and again, this is just my thought.

only in movies or so i thought

one of my closest girl friends is planning to go to south korea again together with his current boyfriend. for the basic but most complicated reason that her mother and his ex are coniving in separating her from him.

to start with, i never saw her this happy. for the longest time we have been together, she never left her ex because of the fear that she will never find anyone that will ever make her happy and feel special again. despite her ex blatanty cheating and taking her for granted.

well, we both know that this can be the lamest reason of all reasons before. but in a way i have understood her for its really easy to say otherwise, if you are not in her shoes.

when i graduated, she left the country for spain. she felt too pressured about things around her : her mother, not graduating, her citizenship and moreover because of her ex. although she knew that leaving the country is more of an escapism and not really facing the problem, she still pursued going abroad.

two years after, she met a long lost friend. everything came too fast that the next thing she knew, was they're already with one another. i've met the guy and he has been the most wonderful person that she have met. ofcourse, next to me, that is why my all support is into him. he was the complete opposite of her ex.

he is very caring, passionate, understanding and extremely patient to her severly bratly personality. in a very brief span of time, he have put down his walls and introduce his self without any hesitations. something that my friend and i consider very rare nowadays. in addition, i never thought of someone that could be more patient that could match her brattiness than i am, until he came into the picture. because of him, i realized that there are still hidden personalities about my best friend that i haven't unravelled yet: a very naive, complete, happy, contented and even naughty her.

now, she discovered that her mom is against their relationship and so is her ex, ofcourse. her ex is coming in the country from singapore and about to meet her and try to fix things up again to their already obliverated relationship.

even the image should be movie-like

the guy on the other hand, is very worried that he would even text me asking me for my ears and advise. something that i have never experienced from her ex before. and most of all, something that convinced me that she really love my best friend--- as mushy as it may sound.

***

for the past days, i have closed myself from thinking too much. i treated everything as light as possible: no more rationalizing, no more philosopizing and especially no more emo moments. probably because i have already reach my limit from being an emotional sponge. its more of a self preservation really, if i may use the word. its just that there is too much things going in my mind that are not even mine in the first place. these are the things that makes you realize how you have been spending your life with so many irrelevant and unimportant things lately(atleast in my context). a part of me is ranting and pushing me to realize how pathetic my life has been. while the other side, is appraising me of being such a good friend. now, i am beginning to be confuse with the things happening around me, as if i don't know myself anymore.

yeah it is easy to blame the rain again and even the milk my mother fed me when i was little. but everything is irrelevant now. what is impotant is the lesson i have gained from the experiences and this story i have heard.

my best friend is really torn. she love the guy too much that she is willing to give him up, just for him not to get hurt with the complications of her life or they can both move to another country and start a new life there. but either way, she knew that whatever option she choose, it will still make thingsmore complicated. then out of the story that i have heard and my ow realization in my life, i told her:

"it is alright to commit mistakes sometimes. but it is the biggest mistake not to choose your own happiness."

in a way, although we are only conversing behind our monitor screens, i felt her smile.

they are planning to leave for south korea soon and continue their relationship there, away from all of these complications. they even asked me to join them, atleast for me to enjoy my life with another kind of adventure. but i declined. i told her that i have my own priorities and considerations not because of my family, work and even my studies, but because of my own sanity and fulfillment. and i think i am happy this way.

after our conversation, i realized that these are the moments when i am about to say that: "i never thought that these things can also happen in real life... until to the sequel!"

sa loob ng restaurant

*ang susunod na post ay sequel ng sa loob ng tren.

hindi matigil ang tawa ko ng ikwinento ito ng isang kaopisina kanina. kahapon, nang maghiwa-hiwalay kami pagkatapos ng trabaho ay naisipan nilang kumain sa labas. matatapang ang mga loob dahil kakasweldo lang. tinopak at naisipan pang mag fine dining.

pagdating nila sa restaurant, nakakakuha daw kaagad sila ng mauupuan. iniaayos ang mga sarili sa mesa at agad na umorder sa naghihintay na waiter. nang makaalis na ang waiter, napansin kaagad ni ryan ang isang grupo ng mga babaeng kumakain sa kaharap na mesa.

sofistikada ang mga ito at ubod ng mga ganda.

"madalang lang ang makakita ng mga flock of birds with the same feathers sa panahon ngayon," naisip ko.

subalit para kay ryan, nangingibabaw sa lahat ang ganda ni dalaga. matangkad, bilugan ang mga mata, at di mapagkakailang magandang pinaputok ng make up at maayos na bumagay ito sa kaniyang mga pisngi at labi. at sa pananamit at kilos pa lang daw ng mga ito, halata mo ng hindi basta-basta ang magkakasama. subalit dala na rin ng namumukol na wallet sa bulsa, hindi pinanghinaan ng loob ang ating bida. bagkus ay na-challenge pa.

hindi daw talaga na namnam ni ryan ang lasa ng inorder niya. habang ang iba nama'y nagulat sa laki ng bill na siningil sa kanila. pero naging sulit naman ang lahat para sa kanya.

sabi pa niya, "kung ganito lagi ang view sa lugar na ito tapos andun pa siya, wala na ako'ng pakialam kahit maghirap ako at kumain sa supot supot na mga tira-tira na tinatapon sa labas, makita lang siya."

nang magyaya na umuwi ang iba, doon niyang naisip na minsan lang mangyari ang love at first sight. kungkaya't hindi na niya ito palalagpasin.

kumuha ng natirang tissue, kumuha ng ballpen sa bag at nag sulat. pagkatapos ay nag-ipon ng lakas ng loob at nanginginig pa'ng inabot ang tissue sa napupusuan. nagulat ang mga kasama nito. lahat sila ay nagtawanan.

bumalik si ryan sa kinauupuan at lalong kinabahan. natulala at sa labis na pag-iisip hindi na daw niya napansin ang mga kantyaw ng mga kasama. nakapako lang ang tingin sa magiging reaksyon at gagawin ng dalaga.

ang nakasulat sa tissue: i like you. can i have your name and phone number?

humiram ng panulat ang dalaga sa isa sa mga kasama at sinulatan. pagkatapos ay tumayo at binalik ang munting papel kay ryan.

ang sinulat sa tissue: bibigay ko lang yun kung mayaman ka, meron ka'ng kotse, bahay at 7 inches na tite.

nagbago ang reaksyon ni ryan. sa isang bigla nawala ang lahat ng impresyon at naramdaman niya para sa dalaga. kinuha muli ang bolpen sa bag at sinulatan ang tissue. pagkatapos ay tumayo ng wala ng pag aalinlangan sa dibdib. saka inabot muli ang kanina pa pinagpasa pasahan.

binasa muli ng dalaga ang nakasulat at biglang napahagikgik. liningon si ryan. subalit wala na ang mga ito sa kanilang mesa at umalis. duon siya humalakhak ng malakas at inabot sa mga kasama ang papel at sabay sabay rin silang nagsitawanan.

ang sinulat: hindi ako mayaman, wala din ako'ng kotse at bahay. at hinding hindi ko rin ipapaputol ang titi ko para sa iyo.

napatawa ako ng malakas. isa na marahil ito sa mga pinakamalupit na kwento ng hook ups na narinig ko.
pagkatapos ng halos walang tigil na tawanan, naisip ko, wala nga talagang tinatawag na love at first sight. at minsan hindi din dapat tayo maniwala sa nakikita at natatali sa ating mga impresyon sa iba. lalo na sa mga ganitong tagpo.

may kaibhan ang naunang post sa tagpong ito. dito, mukhang naglagay ang dalaga ng check mark sa i agree to the terms and conditions ng mga ganitong set up. at kung nagkataon nag fit in din si ryan sa mga qualifications na hiningi ng dalaga, may naloko na naman siguro ang globe, smart etc. sa kanilang unlimited text promo.
sadya nga'ng isang risk ang pangahasin gawin ang mga ganitong bagay. minsan, nauuwi ito sa inaasahan. subalit mas madalas ay hindi. siguro nga umiikot ang lahat, depende sa diskarteng gagawin: kung papaano lalapitan, paano makikipagkilala at higit sa lahat kung ano ang plan b kung lumihis ito sa plano. tingin ko, kung hindi umalis kaagad si ryan, ibinigay na rin siguro ng dalaga ang kanyang pangalan at number. kahit hindi ito tunay. ang mahalaga ay nagawa niyang basagin ang pader na una nitong tinayo.

ang interesante lang din isipin, kung paano nagbabago at lumalawak ang mga posibilidad upang makakakilala ng isang potensyal love. mula sa kapit bahay set-up, matchmaking ng mga magulang, kantyaw ng mga common friends, blind dating, cyber chat, at ngayon ay mga ganitong hook ups: mapa-bar, tren at halos kungsaan saan. pero nakakapagtaka lang na bakit madami pa din ang hindi nakakakita sa kanilang mga mr./ms right?

tapos naisip ko (ako din pala ang sasagot sa sarili ko'ng tanong- lakas tama), siguro dahil na rin sa dami ng mga options na nakapila, mas madalas ay nahuli pa ng gising si mr/miss right at napupunta sa dulo ng pila. tuloy madami ang nag eexperiment, nabibigo at hindi na nakakapaghintay.

men at work

in a society that we have, even jobs have their own gender. stereotypically speaking, jobs that require extraneous labor are dominated by men. while those that require nurturing and involves an eye to details and arts are perceived to be for women. but as time passed by, with the increasing demand of the market for specific jobs and the lack of it to others and probably even minute societal change, it is safe to say the occupations nowadays, are starting to be gender-neutral. take for example nursing, which was predominantly for women. there is already a large number of male nurses. we also have women laywers and justices who have successfully infiltrated the patriarchal profession. these just to name few.

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at work, i can say that we are dominantly males. there are only two women at the very least in a group. in my group, there is only one woman. so often times, she cannot jive into our talks. especially if we are drinking. in a way, i understand her for who woman can, if the cream of the talk is mostly about machismo and sex? although she doesn't talk much or minggle whenever someone ignites the topic of boobs, butts, relationship and sex, i can completely say that i can feel her silent agitation.
our boss is the type of man who easily get distracted whenever a beautiful woman passes by. and it would not pass without him giving a reaction about how he gets a hard on, how he fancies her and how he loves touching and smelling a girl whenever they are near him. well, its just been only a week since we were introduced and working with one another. administratively-wise, i don't have anything against him. though i am not expecting much from him. as long as he will not ask my personal opinion or impression about him, i think we will be able to work well.
rohann is one of my batchmate. he looks younger than his age. but unfortunately, i can say that his mentality and mature level is lower than a newly circumcized teenager. he will not pass giving an irrespectful remark whenever a woman pass his cube. he will whistle to them, give a gasp and even stand in his chair and stare to the poor woman until she disappears in the horizon. there was even a time when he intentionally bump himself towards a girl just to feel her boobs with the excuse that there were so many people passing the same corridor.
until one drinking night, he confessed to us that he has issues being with lesbians because his former wife replaced her for one. everyone felt for him. as if he was the most pitiful being alive. but i felt otherwise. although i know its mean, i think that he deserves it. in the first place, his wife wouldn't replace her with a woman if he have just work their relationship properly and i think i have a good idea what the reason is.
then, we have timothy. he would probably be one of the most arrogant airheads that you'll ever meet. he has this false mindset that if you'll keep on ranting that you're handsome to everyone, the universe will collide and will actually believe on it eventhough you are not. well, probably he haven't heard the line: everything should be in moderation. he treats every women as a display: an object that its only use is to please his carnal desires. when he sees one all he could think of having sex.
he would even boast his experience with a prostitute: that he paid only 1,500 for her. though she is physically worth it. the worst thing was he actually recorded it in his phone.
i am a very patient and understandable person. but if there are things that i could not tolerate those will be people who are sexists and chauvanist pigs. and by now, you'll probably know my impressions toward them. well, let's just hope that my fuse doesn't run out before i resign again.

kite dreamer

i never learned or experienced flying a kite. until it came to a point in my adult life that it became one of my greatest frustrations in life and must-do-before-i-die. as far as i can remember, my memory of flying kites is just a picture of my friends happily flying theirs. while i am alone staring at them and thats it. i never really knew why, up until i paid my uncle a visit the other day. we were sitting in his terrace, when we saw a kite flying pass across his roof, dived and soared up high. i was wowed with the scene and shared to him my frustration to fly a kite one day. then he told me, "you always had a kite when your were little. but you cry whenever your dad teach you how to fly it." "huh?...why?" "well because you're scared that it would never return back" then i asked myself, "was i already dramatic as such young age?" when i reached home, i wondered if such claim holds true. then i saw bunch of movie tickets, signed receipts, stained stones, used coffee paper cups and bunch more kept in my closets and all over my room since first year college. at first, i want to deny it. but i was caught off handedly. i want to insist that i am not a sentimental person because it just can't be. i am as tough and cold as a stone. then these things began moving and gave me a nod as if a person telling me, "yes, you are a very sentimental person, ewik. and we are the proof of that." in a blink of an eye, everything went still. as if i was returned back from an animated wormhole. its just that there are so many memories within those things that i can't simply throw away. and being my forgetful self, i have to have something to relive those moments. i think its beyond being sentimental and more of a self preservation. for me, without these things around, is like sleeping without your eyes shut. but in second thoughts, i realized that for me to know things that i want, i have to learn to let go off other things. sacrifice is inevitable. everything or everyone has to go for nothing is bound forever. i need to make a risk and not live with 'what ifs': if something got lost, i need to learn to accept it for i cannot get everything that i want. its just a matter of how you have lived with it or them and how they have marked themselves in you and vice versa.
having this on mind, i am now considering of having a general cleaning and throw away those things that my mom use to call "trash". then i will create my own kite afterwards. and hopefully i will finally be able to it the next day.


*this post is a subtle way of saying that we all need to move on. hehehe.

top10: buhay callboy/girl

kung nursing ang pambansang kurso sa pilipinas, hindi mapagkakailang call center agent naman ang pambansang trabaho nito.

nakakalungkot lang isipin na sa panahon ngayon hindi na ata uso ang salitang ambisyon. ang bawat isa ay kailangan ng lunukin ang demand ng market. basta maraming opening, mas malaki ang sweldo, at hindi kasing haba ng edsa ang kailangan mga qualifikasyon, swabe na.

pero hindi natin masisisi kung may mga taong kailangang isakripisyo ang kanilang mga pangarap. dahil sa hirap at kawalan ng tamang trabaho sa bansa, kailangang isaalang-alang ang maraming bagay: pamilya, gastusin at sariling tiyan. dito na papasok si pareng un(der)employed.

minsan gusto ko na ding maniwala na hindi lahat ng tao ay may choice dahil may mga sandali na inaagawan at nawawalan din tayo nito: dala ng mismong pagkakataon (chance) at sitwasyon.

pero bago pa man ako umiyak dahil sa makapagdabdab-damdaming mga litanya ko, na hindi naman talaga topic ng post na ito, ito na ang top 10 para masaya naman.

karamihan sa atin ay nakakulong lang sa impresyon na ang mga call center agents bilang may mga slang, haggard at nocturnal beings. subalit kung titignan mabuti hindi lang naman dito umiikot ang buhay nila. tulad ng ibang trabaho meron din ito'ng mga natatanging mga katangian.
ito ang sampumg natatanging katangian sa buhay ng isang call center agent.

10. naliligaw kapag nagcocommute ng may araw dahil di na sanay at nawiwindang na makakita ng madaming tao sa labas at mas natatandaan ang mga kalsada kapag madilim.

9. sa dalang nilang makita ng mga nanay at tatay nila, sinisingil na sila ng upa sa bahay at border na lang ang turing sa kanila. tinatahulan na rin sila ng aso kapag papasok o lalabas ng gate dahil hindi na sila kilala nito.

8. madalas kapag sasagot ng telepono bigla silang nag oopening spiel at para maging consistent mayroon din closing.

7. napraraning kapag nakakarinig ng beep sound. TOOT! akala'y may call sila.

6. kapag tinatanong kung saan nagtratrabaho, iexpect mo ang isasagot sa iyo'y either IT or BPO.

5. iniisip muna ko'ng paano iprpronounce ang mga sasabihin na tagalog. pinipilit rin na hindi magslang kapag bibili sa tindahan o magbabayad ng pamasahe sa jeep o bus. mahirap nang madiskrimineyt at masabihan ng maarte.

4. kapag kilala si AVAYA o kaya kapag nagtatanong ng oras ay "AVAYA time ba yan?"

3. kapag pagkatapos gumamit ng pc sa bahay ay nag CTRL+ALT+DELETE tapos magugulat kung bakit iba ang lalabas.

2. ang unang iisipin o gagawin pagkagising ay magtatanong ng "anong oras na?"

1. nagsasalita in english kapag tulog. sosyal! kahit sa pagtulog ay napapanaginipan ang pag cacalls.

bedsheet

disclaimer: this my ultimate emomoments.

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a lover is a mirror through which you can see yourself clearly.

-zhou yu's train

its been almost 8 months since we broke up. but the picture of you lying on my bed, watching my dvds and playing with my stuffs are still clear.there are even nights when i can still smell your scent lingering in my bedsheet. there, my arm will automatically move and hug the pillow beside me. it will squeeze it tighter and tighter as if its looking for any familiarities. then i will wake up and realize that you are no longer there--- and we're no longer together.probably as of now, just like me, you are still wondering the actual reason why we split up. the only thing that i can remember is the day before it happened. you were standing infront of the tv set, gathering all your dvds in my rack. it gave me a hint. but i rejected the idea. the next day you sent me a message, telling me that there is someone at your office, who is flirting you. you asked me if i am jealous and i answered the usual: no, i am not. then we talked about your ex. you told me the things that i have already heard before. but i still entertained it as if its the first time i heard it.
even without the exact words, i know at the back of my head, that you miss those moments: those moments that we both know, i could not do for you because my personality is not allowing me so. you asked me if you can date someone and i said yes. you were delighted. but when i told you that as long as i can date another as well, you went hysterical and withdrew the deal. i smiled.i know that your just making me feel jealous. so that you'll know how much i love you and confirm whatever doubt you have in yourself (or we can also say that i am assuming too much). but as i've mentioned to you on the onset of our relationship, i am not a vocal person. hearing me saying "i love you" nonetheless, i did the best that i can do to work this relationship out. but it seemed like you still demanded for more. probably whoever came up with the line, action speaks louder than words, haven't met you yet when he said this. you can now call me bitter.aside from the fact that it is my personality, i also want you to feel the real value of those three simple words, whenever i utter it to you. i am sorry if i cannot say this to you every minute just the way your ex usually do. but i just don't want to say it just for the heck of saying it. and besides i never really deprived you of those words. i just don't want to over use it.
i don't want you to hear it just because we are together. but because i really mean it. i don't want you to get used of it because i am afraid of the day that its meaning may no longer have any value to you. or probably, above all, i am just paranoid about everything between us.and now, 10 minutes before the exact 8th month we broke up, i decided that it is indeed time for me to put a dot to whatever we had. not because, i haven't moved on yet. but i just want to clear things out for the both of us. you may not read this post. but hopefully someday you'll stumble into it and if that will happen, i just want you to know that i am sorry for everything that i didn't understand and lack with this set up we had and thank you for the memories that would be forever kept underneath the scent on my bed sheets.

checking papers

last night, i volunteered in helping my friend in checking her paper loads, which was consist of her students' class paper reviews. she allowed me to do it. but just for the typographical errors and grammars. why?
basically she came up with this evil plot of subtracting the number of errors to her student's actual paper's score (0.25 per mistake), to teach her too stubborn students to reread and edit their papers before submitting it. well, it really takes one to know one, huh?!the load was unimaginable. there were piles and piles sitting next to each another on her table. i was already wondering if my friend will be able to check all of these and return it back on time. nonetheless, being the-ever-helpful-friend that i am, the picture of it didn't stop me.
while i was checking from one paper to another, i felt a part of me was fulfilled. i always wanted to be a teacher. aside from the fact that it runs in the family (both of my grandparents, aunts and an uncle are teachers), it really more of a persoanl passion.i remember before, my friends and i would actually play teacher-teacheran inside an unoccupied townhouse along our street. and i can't remember a time that i didn't become the teacher. it is the rule of the thumb whenever we play it: i should always be the teacher. in addition, since i am a foot bigger than the rest of my friends, the word bullying has always been a positive word for me to which no one dares to contest.

i never thought that checking papers was this time-consuming. it has been 5 hours already. but i haven't finish a quarter of the entire load yet. it was indeed exhausting. more exhausting than my work, if i may say. not to mention the fact that it is only a part of the entire job. but despite of this, i can say that i really enjoyed it a lot and realized time flies quickly. indeed, such happens when you love what you do. but as of now, as much as i want to become a teacher, i still can't ...yet. but i know someday, i'll get my share.

talking about the parts of the job, i think another thing a wanna-be teacher has to prepare is to get dismayed, not only with the salary that one will get. but also with the performance of your students.

i was really laughing hard in the entire period of checking their papers. i know i am mean. but it was ridiculously hilarious that it actually came to a point that i felt alarmingly sad, worried and frustrated to most of these students. primarily because i was a student of the same university as well. although in a different campus. for me the logic is: the content of the paper reflects its writer and the writers or students reflect their university. thus, the realization bounces back to me. ofcourse, there a lot of things to be considered: their teachers, curriculums and even their own social and personal contexts. but these are (only) acceptable if they are freshmen. unfortunately, these students are not. they vary from sophomores to seniors. so can anyone stop me if i ask," what happened?"

i always tell my friends who keep on ranting that the school is no longer the same as before, that it is generation to cherish. we already had ours and its up to the next what to do with their share. and probably i going to keep it that way. i chose not to dwell into the details of their papers anymore and will just focus on atleast their writing skills: that is in filipino.

what i like about my alma mater is the fact that it gave us all the freedom as a student or atleast from the last time i have checked and mind you it was not that long ago either. there freedom was overflowing that we are allowed to think, say and do whatever we want for the benefit of free flowing ideas, as long as it would not cross the boundary of respect and other people's rights.

in our campus, we are even allowed to speak/recite in whatever language we want, as long as the majority of the class and the professor can understand it. no wonder it was so easy for me to know in law school whether the guy reciting came from the same university that i do with all the uhms and the buckles. go figure!

anyhow, its just frustrating to know that most of these students are actually having a hard time writing a simple essay regarding a film and song review in filipino. even if you put the content aside, there sentence structure is untolerable. but i do understand them. the same problems go with me when it comes to writing in english. i rarely use periods. i tend to make 5 sentences into just one. my tenses are not consistent with my sentences and most of all i tend to use hard core jargons. but on the other hand, i realized that this is filiino, our native language for crying out loud. i even asked my friend if her students are phil-ams or what have you. but when she showed me their picture, they were undeniablly filipinos. then i realized that probably DECS and CHED should not only check on our students english proficiency. but also more with regard to filipino. just imagine, filipinos who don't know how to write filipino: that is more disturbing than a filipino who doesn't know how to write english.

sa loob ng tren

minsan ko nang narinig ito sa ilang mga kaibigan at akala ko nuon sa pelikula lang nangyayari ang mga ganitong bagay. pero iba pala talaga kapag nasa loob ka na nito, isang napaka surreal na palabas.

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padilim na nang ipinilit ko ang sarili ko makasakay sa tren. pero isang pisngi na lang talaga ng pwet ko ang nagkasya. okay lang naman sa akin kahit maipit at maiwan ang kabila dahil super late na talaga ako. pero ang pintuan na ng tren mismo ang umaayaw. bwaka ng inang tren ito napakapihikan.

no choice. nakakahiya man pero kinailangan ko'ng bumaba. at yun yung mga sandali sa buhay mo na makikita mo ang sarili mo'ng nakatayong mag isa habang tinitignan ang mga taong nakasakay sa loob at tinitignan ka din nila pabalik. dahan-dahang sasarado ang pintuan at saka aandar ang sasakyan papalayo. tapos iisipin mo na lang na isa na naman yun sa mga malungkot na sandali ng iyong buhay. kungsaan napag iwanan ka na naman. duon, kusang tutulo ang iyong luha ng hindi mo namamalayan---siyempre hindi totoo yun! ano ako emo?! iba lang talaga ang epekto kapag umuulan. kung anu-ano ang naiisip ng mga tao.
pero sinuswerte pa din pala ako dahil hindi ganun kasikip ang sumunod. may biyaya nga talagang naghihintay sa mga tao matiisin at may bonus pang mauupuan. saan ka pa?! sana nga lang walang matanda o babaeng sasakay at tatayo dahil alam ko'ng hindi ako lulubayan ng aking pagiging gentleman. buti na lang at boni na'y wala pa rin at kung meron man, may ibang mga lalaking agad na nag aalok ng sa kanila. nakakatuwang isipin na marami pa pala kami. naks!
marami-rami rin naman ang mga nakasakay. pero sa kabila ng dami, naging tahimik ang lahat, maliban sa isang lalaki sa kabilang upuan na pasimpleng nagfafalceto at sinasabayan ang kanta ni alicia keys sa kanyang mp3. naisip ko ang polite talaga ng mga pinoy, nagpapanggap na hindi siya naririnig para hindi mapahiya. pero sa kabilang banda, naisip ko baka naman nag eenjoy silang pinagtatawanan siya.
maya-maya pa'y nag umpisa ng lumikot ang mga mata ko. parang mga tipong mata ni terminator na kalkuladong naghahanap ng isang potential target. pero sa layo ng tinatanaw ko, hindi ko namalayan meron naman pala sa harapan. artistahin, makinis ang kutis at malakas ang ER factor. mukhang hapong-hapo ang bata, gumigiwang-giwang ang ulo kaliwa't kanan dala marahil ng sobrang antok. sa sandaling yun, pinangarap ko'ng sana'y katabi ko na lang siya nang maalok ko din naman ang balikat ko. para lang maging consistent sa pagiging gentleman. pero hanggang pasimpleng pagsulyap lang ang banat natin. mahirap ng mapagkamalang manyak.
subalit sa di kalayuan, nakaramdam ako bigla ng ibang tumitingin. aba, si manong na tatlong tao ang layo sa bata ay sumisimple rin. gusto pa akong agawan. gusto ko siyang sabihan ng "manong, possesive ako. first come, first serve. matuto ka'ng kumilala ng amoy ng ihi ng iba." pero ang conceited na manong, ayaw magpaawat kahit naka-todo corporate attire at mukhang kagalang galang. masama mang maghusga ng iba, pero nasa threshold na talaga si manong ng pagiging open minded ko. sa wakas nakilala ko na si mr. exception-to-the-rule. marahil kung krimen lang talaga ang pag-iisip ng masama sa kapwa, three counts of reclusion perpetua na ang napataw sa kanya. dahil sa titig niyang daig pa ang 41-in-1 na surigao scandal na nilalako sa gilid ng kamuning o baka naman malisyoso lang ako.

source

matapos ang dalawa pang istasyon, sa wakas, naramdaman din ng pobreng musmos ang pagtitig ni manong conceited. umayos ito ng pagkakaupo at pinako ang tingin sa malayo. halatang abot buwan na ang pagkabalisa niya. sa sandaling yun, nakaramdam din ako ng awa sa bata. naisip ko, kung talamak man ang eye-to-eye contact para magkaroon ka ng instant fubu (c'mon don't tell me kapareho din kita na lately lang nalaman ang meaning nito) sa panahon ngayon, sana maunawaan din ng mga lumalahok nito na hindi lahat naorient at nakapagregister. may ilan, at actually marami sila (kami, whatever!), ang hindi naglagay ng check mark sa i accept and understand the terms and conditions of this agreement checkbox at piniling hindi sumali sa crowd. nakakalungkot man isipin pero dapat isaalang-alang natin na hindi lahat ganito kabukas ang pananaw at hindi rin naman ito dapat itake against sa kanila. ito rin ay isang personal na desisyon na dapat igalang at dapat maunawaan at siyempre with special citation kay manong conceited.
tumigil ang tren sa guadalupe station. tumayo si manong conceited patungo sa pintuan na wala na ang bakas ng kung anuman meron siya kanina. habang si pobreng musmos naman ay nagiging conceited na din sa pagiging patay-malisya. maya maya'y may hinugot si manong conceited at inabot sa pobreng musmos. nagulat ang lahat nang nakakita, isang business card ang naiabot. pagkalabas ni manong conceited agad na kinuha ng pobreng musmos ang kapirasong papel at dali-daling sinilid sa loob ng kanyang bag na parang walang nakita at nangyari. balik agad si pobreng musmos sa pagpapatay malisya.
bumaba rin ang bata sa parehong istasyon na binabaan ko. hindi ko na siya tinignan hanggang sa dumaan siya sa gilid at palabas ng istasyon. madaming naglaro sa isip ko habang dinudungaw siya papalayo. subalit isang bagay lang nagtibay sa akin. at ito'y tapos na ang isa na namang bahagi ng palabas at ako'y mag aabang na naman hanggang sa susunod na atraksyon.

open letter for dabo

for dabo, remember this?

when i was so eager to keep it to myself and not tell anyone about it, you just have to spoil it with a snap of your fingers.

I was so into conceiling that day that i even change the details of it on almost all of my internet accounts and profiles (just to know who my real friends are and who are those who remember it) or probably it is just for the simple reason that i just don't want to feel special--- just for that day.

i was almost victorious. i was able to hide it at work and school. even most of my friends were having the time of their lives figuring out when was it. but then you posted this and there it went, the information spreaded like bush fire. some of my friends are actually reading my blog, you know, and they also read those who are reading mine.

text messages went crazy, my inbox got clogged and my phone almost ran out of battery because of the calls that were coming in. and most of it was because of that post.

then, at the end of the day, i realized that the entire event just took me some friends and your post to actually complete it and definitely be remembered. thanks dude!













so now, i am giving back the favor through this.

Congratulations DABO!!! Stay happy... I'll sure miss your emo moments!

hahaha.

buloy

call center industry is one of the growing industries in the country and among third world country. in metro manila alone, you'll not meet one who doesn't know of someone who works as a call center agent.
then i just thought, what if the world turned upside down and the philippines is considered one of the powerful nations in the world and the united states is the developing one? in addition, what if americans are the one who are taking our calls, adjusting to our language and accent? or can you even imagine it? i am actually having a hard time picturing it out as well, until i bumped into this video in youtube.

in fairnbess, to this guy he was very polite in the beginning of the video.



now, did this help you at all? hehehe.

*next post will be top 10 with the same issue (just for me to be reminded about it).

yo li'l sis

i woke up this morning with a message from my sister, telling me that she just passed her board exam. no, she is not a registered nurse. rather, she is now a registered physical therapist. for the first time, we have a manghihilot in the family as i usually kid her.
my sister is my closest from the rest of my siblings. probably because i am just a year older than her. ever since we were little, we were always together. when we were growing up, we're not that close with our brother (next to her) and so is he to us.
my sister and i almost went to the same school. except ofcourse, when we were in elementary and enrolled in different exclusive schools: i went to notre dame. while she went to olga (now, st. mary's). but both are just sitting next to each other. we were literally inseparable until my parents decided to send me off to bicol to study for highschool and to accompany my father, who got himself a job there. the next year, the entire family followed.
when i passed the UPCAT and went to baguio, she really worked her ass out to pass the exam the next year. she felt pressured in conquering it. since she came from the star section of our highschool. while i am from the regular class only. she pressured herself too much that she chose UP manila first than UP diliman, thinking that it is easier to pass the former than the latter. It was already late when she learned that UP manila requires a higher percentile. since the campus specializes more into medicine-related courses. fortunately, her naiveness didn't fail her. she passed the exam and got a 5-year quota course slot in UP manila.
five years after, i called her after reading her message. i congratulate her ofcourse, just for formality's sake (i am a harsh brother, i know). i asked her what her plans will be. she told me, she is considering getting a job. if not in a hospital, probably in a big fitness gym in the metro.
then i asked her, why not consider learning pagtatawas to complete her job title. she banged the call down and texted me that i am not invited to her TG dinner. there goes my evil laughter. hehehe.but seriously, i am proud of you, li'l sister!