realistic painting

for the rest of my restdays (which is the entire weekend), i really felt i was very productive. i was able to finish framing two of the artpieces. one of which was a portrait of a friend as a gift for her birthday. the other one was mine, a self portrait that i have sketched when i was still in college.
it was actually the first time, that i tried framing my works. i usually just store them on my sketch pads or on a folder and leave them there to rot. but since i needed something different and presentable to offer as a gift. i thought of framing it up and made a massive decoration on its border.
initially, i thought of sending it over to a framing shop, but i thought of the expenses that it would endure me. more or less around a thousand bucks was on my mind. so leaving my practical side to do the that thing for me. i went on the nearest national bookstore and bought one of those framed life quotations for 150 pesos. then jumbo size crayons.
when i arrived home, i was so eager in immediately doing what was on my mind. i disassembled the parts of the frame and then pull out the paper in it. i coated the white border with different colors as the first layer and then coat it again with black. after the entire border was already coated, i grabbed an inkless pen then make some etches that created a wonderful effect. it was actually thought to us when i was in kindergarten and called it etching.

it took me atleast two and half hours to finish my desired output. when it was done, i could just can't keep my eyes from staring it. i actually thought twice if i am going to give it or not. but since i have already gave my for it, i just simply can't keep it. so i have decide to create another one.
the next day, after finishing my groceries, i went to NBS in katipunan. i grabbed another set of glass frames, paint medium, couple of paint brushes, canvas and a new set of acrylic paints. i even grabbed a book of cris martinez titled, last order sa penguin. though it would be an entire different story.
anyhow, when i arrived home i immediately grabbed my sketchbook and tore the page of a self portrait laying in bed and holding a cigarette. on this piece, it took me almost four hours because of too many details i have to put in. thinking it would make it more aesthetically pleasing. but it turn out wrong. i think i have over articulated it.
i sighed.
when i was done framing both of my art pieces, i am stucked at staring on my own reflection over the glass frames. overlooking the art works, i over-ratedly saw myself changing profession. a profession i would love doing: no constraints, no deadlines, no need of counting how many hours more to stay in the office and especially no boss.
i wanted to be an artist. a matter of, needing to be one and not only mere wanting it. but the optimism on me that was once overflowing within my veins were beginning to fade away and become pure pessismisms poisoning my personality. i thought of the salary i am going to get, the expenses that i am due for, the lifestyle i have become, significant people i need to help with and many others. these immensely became a hole in me that i began doubting my own capabilities.

in life, it is very easy to be idealistic: to fight for what you need and want: to be able to enjoy life and achieve your dreams. but don't forget, in life as well, not everything comes the way you want it to be. the world will never revolve on you alone. while time will never wait nor compromise for your sake. because aside from you, life has billions of other people to worry and think about. probably that is why we have the word 'realistic' on our vocabulary.