Thursday, February 18, 2010

promises(?)

"never hold on to a promise," that was the last thing J said before the night completely took J away, again.

i grew up surrounded with people making all sorts of promises. and in a way, i've been fascinated with how it ensures certain uncertainties. how it pulls out hope and relief from indescribable distress. and how it pushes all means to make impossibles possible.

but i guess, not all promises are made to last nor done for the simple reason of humanity.

we hammer promises with our imperfections, we break them into pieces because of our shortcomings. but at the end, its our own guilt that eats us.
when J let go of my hand that night, i realized another promise has been broken. for a while, i doubted if it was J's imperfections or mine. if it was my shortcomings or Js.

but even before an answer is made, i just saw myself slowly folding: 'til my knees sympathized with my chest and the chilly night breeze wiped my face dry. it was a vulnerabling feeling i must say. too bad J didn't see it. but i thought, what for?

i guess, promise is the most treacherous thing man has ever invented.

when rousseau wrote his theory in social contract, he should have also warned about its possible outcomes to us, individually. the frustration, trust issues and all that. at least, it could have prepared us for its coming.

you see, for most of us, when a promise is made, we, as the person who receives it immediately build a certain extent of expectations that sometimes, or most of the time over boards to the actual promise itself. thus, when our expectations are not met we end up being frustrated.

but what if no promise was actually made? what if it was only beliefs drawn out from a built relationship? are promises and beliefs just the same?

when i "agreed" to have that affair with j, all the love stories and movies i have met started coming back to me. being my first, it was the most wonderful feeling for me that time. but i never expected it could be that tragic later on.

i know, i should have not expected. i should have not dreamed of those dreams. i should have put my hopes into its proper places.

but i guess, it was not that bad at all. instead of feeling miserable, i hold on to that experience and live with it. some people understood, while some just simply can't. nonetheless, i still took another step forward.

so now, after your messenger box popped up on my screen, asking me how i am and if we could still meet? i figured, i guess i could still take some chances (of friendship) but never will i hold on to any of your promises.

25 comments:

DN said...

never hold on to other people's words. most of the time, they're empty.

or i guess, wala pa ako nakikilala na ginawa (or at least tried to) lahat ng sinabi nya.

Anonymous said...

@DN Madami din naman tumutupad sa mga pangako nila.

Promises are not made to be broken, they are made to be fulfilled. *smile*

Be positive. there are a lot of goodness around you. *hugs*

- kiko

Anonymous said...

wiwik... sorry if up to here I'll be kinda makulit...

but you promised din diba? pwease. :)

*peace tayo kasi mahal kita*

- santino

DN said...

at sumulpot na naman ung kiko na yan.

Anonymous said...

sorry naman! sige na babalik na sa lungga!

kiko

Manech said...

They're part of a language game, I believe, these promises.

For example: when I say forever, I meant now. When I say I don't, I mean I do.

People are poetic sometimes, saying something and meaning something else, so I've learned to adjust accordingly. :)

lee said...

i sometimes say that promises are half-meant. it's a matter of knowing the credibility of the person saying it :)

Dagger Deeds said...

I always equate people promising something and breaking it to liars and thieves. But still, it depends. Gray areas and complicated situations are quite confusing.

PILYO said...

promise is uncertain. Dealing with uncertainties is dealing with promise.

Promise is made to be broken. Learn lessons from broken promises.

CHEERS.

ACRYLIQUE said...

"nonetheless, i still took another step forward."


- Naniniwala ako ka Manech. it's all part of a language game.

red the mod said...

I remember Alanis.

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

citybuoy said...

bad yan. di natin siya bati.

Chyng said...

^ haha nice Nyl!

never say promise nalang, ever. Ü

engel said...

sometimes words are just that. words.

line of flight said...

never say never

the geek said...

i wonder who J is...

typical me, i read differently.hehehe

Darc Diarist said...

basta when you find someone worth it, you'll learn to take chances again :)

wow @ manech

Aris said...

naisip ko tuloy ang mga promises sa akin na hindi natupad. from now on hindi na ako aasa sa promises. pramis. hehe! :)

Kane said...

Wandering Commuter,

Sigh. "it was the most wonderful feeling for me that time. but i never expected it could be that tragic later on."

My friends and I used to say, yang kasiyahang iyan, kapag natapos na, bayad na bayad, at minsan may utang pa.

Love is a risk, a game. I know that, and I guess, now you do too.

Hug,
Kane

Neil said...

the future is always uncertain and there lies the domain of promises..

sabi nga ng lolo ni pong pagong sa kung fu panda:

yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the "present."


let's just focus on the present, before it becomes history. ^^

- ninja boi

iurico said...

promises schromises

*hugs

thecuriouscat said...

buti hindi ako nagpopromise hihi

theLastJedi said...

certain uncertainties

- now that's a new phrase that shall become part and parcel of my vocabulary.
' at the end of the day, we can never really stop believing. we can never really stop trusting. for as along as we strive to look for happiness, there's no other way around but beat those "certain uncertainties". =)

kiel estrella said...

i think we resist the possibility of broken promises because of hope. and despite the possibility of pain, i believe keeping the faith, hoping for promises to be kept is more important.

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