Tuesday, April 7, 2009

the story

a few days back, i attended my best friend's thesis defense in diliman. she defended her master's thesis which was a compilation of lesbian short stories entitled naratibĂ´. while i was attentively watching her as she try to outwin her panelists, i remembered the times when we we would meet after our work shifts and rant our frustrations with our careers and lovelife over either cups of coffee or bottles of beer.
three years after, there she was, standing infront of us talking to a number of people, whose eyes and ears nailed to every details that comes out from her lips and presentation. along with her is a palanca grand prize award, two published books, an instructorship in one of the university's campuses and a large amount of personal savings.at my side was her partner for two years. infront of me are five famous and respected filipino writers as her panelists, who are considering to file her compilation for best MA thesis. while the rest were her friends who also have their own names on their respected fields. and me, simply ewik, still has the same rants and frustrations as before.
after her defense, we had the chance to talk to each other regarding the status of our lives. i could see into her eyes the clarity of what is ahead of her and in it, was the reflection of mine who up to the present is still blurry and vague.
i told her how i hate comparing my life to others. but i couldn't help myself from comparing mine to hers. she replied to me with a blank but calm face and a pat on my shoulder. she reminded me about the story she once told me. on how she had set an age of when she will kill herself. i remembered it was 24. but she is turning 26 this year but she is still alive and kicking.
then she continued. in a way, i realized that what she meant was not planning to kill herself rather than the frustrations that she kept within. the day after the last conversation we had regarding the said topic, she opened up a savings account. then widen her network, continued doing what she loves, which is writing despite the pressure of her former job and then when she felt she is already secured she quit her job and applied as an instructor in manila then managed to close a number of sidelines.
from there, when she finally felt everything was ready, she quit her job despite the promotion that was given to her and never look back. from there everything just followed.
i was silent all throughout that conversation and wrapped the day with a smile as we parted ways. now as i look back to that conversation, i can see that the path ahead of me is quite clearer than before. thanks to a friend who managed to pass that dark and confusing jungle with the same blank and calm face.


Herbs D. said...

how lucky of you to have a friend like her. there will always be those people who would guide you through the jungle :)

its like the part where you have to let go and trust someone even though you're already in the dark from Tuesdays with morrie.

Anonymous said...

Kaya pala you quit ur job. Hehe.

Chyng said...

Manager ko: I reag your blog, pati yung sa blogmate mong Ewik. Maganda.

O dba, bongga! nagvisit siyia ng site mo! :D

Jinjiruks said...

tibo ba yang friend mo ewik. hehe. me officemate kasi akong ganun. masarap kasama kasi alam mo na. hindi maarte at maangas rin. wala lang. sa totoo lang mas masarap siguro mahalin sila kesa sa normal girl.

Yj said...

reminds me as to why friends are essential.....

gillboard said...

it all boils down naman talaga sa kung ano ang gusto mo... regardless of the challenges, if you want something talaga, mangyayari yun...

kaya may doubts yung ibang tao, kasi masyado iniisip yung 'paano kung' or 'meron kasing...'

anyway, good for you.. and good luck.

parteeboi said...

this is inspiring. :-)
I wish there is success for us too.


Jake said...

I agree with what Gillboard said right up there ^^^.

Start with the simple question: What do I really want?

And everything will fall into place.

Ika nga ni Master Confucius, "A journey of a thousand miles, begins with a single step."

Apir. :p