Monday, March 30, 2009

its all part of the game

i admit, i too, still have a textmate.
its almost three years now since i have first met U from an online network. we were introduced because U happens to be one of my contact's friends. after exchanging a good number of messages, we just found ourselves exchanging our numbers too. surprisingly, up until now, i haven't met U.
at first, i thought, U will just be the same textmate that i had before, with the purpose of keeping me busy and gives me ample reason to keep on registering to those unlimited text promos. but later on, i realized that U was different.
in a way, the differences of our experiences binded us intact. no day has passed without us greeting and checking each other. yes, it was inevitable at first, that such bind could be interpreted as something romantic. but later on, we have realized that we were far better being friends and what we have now become the proof that we were indeed correct.
U narrated me the world that i have chosen not to venture. while i shared to him my thoughts and views about both worlds. we were like a tagteam lost in a dark and vicious forest, struggling to find our path together but separately.
the other day, i received a message from him telling me about another adventure that he was up to. he met a guy from an online chatroom and they have decided to meet up. in his surprise, what he thought to be a simple meet up ended up in a drinking session with some of the the guy's friends and inside the guy's place--- a very ackward situation considering it was their first meeting.
after reading this, the first thing i thought was baron geisler's character from the movie jologs, where he portrayed a gay prostitute and was picked up by a handome lad played by onemig bondoc. later, he found out that the lad happens to have a dirty and violent trick underneath his sleeves together with the rest of his pals.
i frankly told U about that movie and asked him to be extra careful. although i know this was not the first time he did it, i still believe that we couldn't really tell what will happen.
eventually, U started bombarding me with a series of text messages on what was going on on that session: on how the guy he met blatantly offended him infront of his friends and he couldn't do and say anything to fire back.
although no physical actions occured, the guy directly showed him how uninterested he was to him. he called a couple of his friends over the phone asking them to find him a date, spilling out most of the sensitive conversations they had among his peers and the worst thing of all, they were drinking, talking and laughing about U, as if he was not there.
i firmly ordered him to leave after reading his messages. but U told me that he was put on a very difficult position that leaving at that very moment would mean he was weak to the people he was with. knowing U, i understood what he meant.
luckily, it didn't take him that long to strike a good opportunity to leave. but he told me that the moment he stepped off the door, he was on the verge of crying. he never felt extremely offended before and the thing that worsten it all, was the fact that he haven't had the opportunity to defend himself because of the fear that he was surrounded by people he didn't really know.
i could feel from the tone of his messages that he was on the tip of breaking down. suddenly, he bursted all his angst and kept on ranting at me, why he keep on ending up with the wrong person? that no matter how he try to work things out or atleast make it work, he fails. why people can be so judgemental, superficial and immature? and he ended it by asking me, how am i able manage my own personal life?
there was a sudden pause. then, i answered, its a matter of looking in the right place, U.
there was actually no response from that message and it was already the next day when i received another message from U.
from the looks of it, it seemed like the messages were just like the usual. but then, i realized that his intentions were to look as if nothing really happened, but for me, it seemed like something defintely changed. hoepfully, for the good.


Eternal Wanderer... said...

Such soul breaking thing to happen to U.

My whole heart goes out to him :(

gillboard said...

minsan talaga, para matuto ka, kelangan mo pagdaanan ang mga bagay na masakit sa kalooban...

well hopefully, he did learn something from what happened...

Herbs D. said...

sigh. is is just me or is everyone else having heartaches lately?


*cheering fer U*

Mac Callister said...

oh,im really feeling this sympathy goes to him...too glad that it never happend to me since im a fan of meet-ups a few years back hehe

Mac Callister said...

lesson here:dont just rush in to a guy's place whom you just met at the chatroom for the first time,you never know that guy might be a gay serial killer...whoa scary LOL

Tristan Tan said...

There's a cruel world out there, unfortunately...

Hugs to U, oh and to you too.

Mugen said...

Nasabihan na ako dati bago yung threesome activity ko ng harap-harapan na "hindi ka namin bet." Cool lang akong lumabas nun ng kuwarto at matagal na nangyari yun pero it will remain as one of the darkest phases of my life.

Eben said...

naranasan ko na yan noon, at ayoko na yun maulit pa.

i wish you well U.

at kay ewik, salamat sa muling pagbisita sa blog ko. hehehe.

lazy john said...

hopefully everything turns out ok with U... at least katext ka nya non...