Sunday, March 22, 2009

if only contentment can be bought in retail

three years ago, i was like any college graduate, full of enthusiasm and excitement finally leaving the four corners of the classroom and entering the sophisticated environment of the corporate world. i will be able to pay my own place, make my own decision, buy my own things and above all, no curfew to think of everytime i go out whereever and whenever i want to.
ever since i was a kid, i always dream of wearing a coat, slacks, leather shoes and a bow tie (take note, a BOW tie) whenever i go to work. i even created a quite complicated signature, which i still use at present, to avoid other people from forging it by the time i start signing up piles of documents. i can't even believe that the idea is still clear in me.
after my 23rd birthday, i found myself still wearing the same shirt and jeans i have worn since college. i have no pen nor any documents infront of me to sign with. and above all, i don't feel the same enthusiasm and excitement blazing inside in my current profession(?). i have thought of resigning countless times but it always fail whenever the thought of getting a new job in such time comes in: recession, graduating period, no experience, degree mismatch etc. etc. I am just so tired of it.
eventually, i was forced to drop law school (for the meantime), which was the only thing that holds my sanity intact. as much as i want to drop work, the word 'independence' burdens me that i don't even have the guts to ask help from my parents anymore. but work is starting to drain the remaining in me. so one day, i have decided to enroll for a masteral degree.
almost six months have passed, i am still wearing the same attire that i have worn since college. i may have a new pen now but i still don't have any documents to sign. the dream is still a dream, in short. and now, as i wrap up my final paper for the last class i will have tomorrow, i thought, if only i knew that the sophistication of the corporate world is far more complicated than i thought it was and the word independence is not that pleasing as i supposed it to be, i should have probably atleast prolonged my stay in college and gather all the necessary and possible experiences i can have.
indeed, be careful of what you wish for and i am even aware that probably three years from now, i might regret writing this as well.
if only i can buy contentment even in retail

17 comments:

Maxwell5587 said...

if that's possible, i'd buy twelve. or even twenty.

Herbs D. said...

go for your dreams. don't lose hope. like what the Alchemist said:

"If you really want something, the whole universe conspires for you to achieve it."

they're just trials in life, you just have to keep on holding :)

*much love and support + big bear hug*

dabo said...

if you wear neck ties lagi or polo barong, soon you will acquire the idea of being an adult..

in short, it is good sa una pero, it will make you old, not look old, basta it will make old. sa tingin ko

Luis Batchoy said...

its good to be discontented at times... its a sign that your growing and pushing comfort zones...

Mugen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mugen said...

i thought it was and the word independence is not that pleasing as i supposed it to be, i should have probably atleast prolonged my stay in college and gather all the necessary and possible experiences i can have.

Never ever think that you will get the experiences you seek in the academe. My undergrad taught me that life, in order to be understood must be lived.

I was in fourth your college and life then was far more real than the life I am living right now.

If there are reasons why I try to squeeze myself in the halls of Diliman, it is to remind me that i am not yet consumed by my 8 hour job; That a part of me years to explore, still.

Yj said...

go for your dream and look back once in a while... at malalaman mong madami ang sumusuporta sayo....

pero pag nagkataon... ako din... per tumpok ang bibilhin ko....

Rain Darwin said...

Aim to wear your best executive attire then. Follow your dreams. But once u get there... i'll tell you,

jeans at tshirt pa rin ang pinakamasarap isuot sa lahat kapag nasa office.

Joaqui said...

Contentment can be overrated. And I think, it will pass. When that happens, it may leave a bitter tang and you'll constantly question yourself for allowing yourself to be stagnant.

On the other hand, somehow it will give you some sense of peace and probably even happiness. And for that, it may be worth it after all.

But then again, if you are happy and contented, then what next? Can someone really stay happy and contented until his passing. Sometimes the cynical in me is alive around this time of the day. :)

gillboard said...

mahirap din ang makuntento... kasi di mo na alam kung ano ang gugustuhin mo...

ayus lang na may mga pangarap ka pa rin na gawin... that's how you'll eventually live your life.

Fjordan Allego said...

actually, pareho pala tayo ng iniimagine when we were still kids. gusto ko rin ng pang corporate na attire. and since Im still in college, inienjoy ko na lang muna lahat. after nito, saka ko na susuungin kung matutupad ba nag mga pangarap ko o hindi.

http://fjordz-hiraya.blogspot.com

Turismoboi said...

nalokah ako dun sa bow tie

Denis said...

hmmm, i miss school but i never dreamed of wearing those that you mentioned hehe. id figured that most of the people who earn more are those who doesn't scrub in the white collars. hehe POV lang

amicus said...

hanapin mo kung san ka sasaya. kahit walang pera, at least masaya ka :) stp

MkSurf8 said...

sometimes, behind that corporate pizzazz is just nothing.

it's okay to dream but be appreciative of what you have ;-)

Chyng said...

wow ngayon ko lang nalaman na may background ka sa law! see, by having this dream, lamang ka na samen agad...

MakMak said...

I don't even think that contentment is your main issue.

Know what you really want to do, Wanderer and everything else will
fall into place.

Just my two cents.

BTW, I have to agree with a friend, nice entry title.

And, you'll learn so much more out here than in any learning institute. :)