three years ago, i was like any college graduate, full of enthusiasm and excitement finally leaving the four corners of the classroom and entering the sophisticated environment of the corporate world. i will be able to pay my own place, make my own decision, buy my own things and above all, no curfew to think of everytime i go out whereever and whenever i want to.
ever since i was a kid, i always dream of wearing a coat, slacks, leather shoes and a bow tie (take note, a BOW tie) whenever i go to work. i even created a quite complicated signature, which i still use at present, to avoid other people from forging it by the time i start signing up piles of documents. i can't even believe that the idea is still clear in me.
after my 23rd birthday, i found myself still wearing the same shirt and jeans i have worn since college. i have no pen nor any documents infront of me to sign with. and above all, i don't feel the same enthusiasm and excitement blazing inside in my current profession(?). i have thought of resigning countless times but it always fail whenever the thought of getting a new job in such time comes in: recession, graduating period, no experience, degree mismatch etc. etc. I am just so tired of it.
eventually, i was forced to drop law school (for the meantime), which was the only thing that holds my sanity intact. as much as i want to drop work, the word 'independence' burdens me that i don't even have the guts to ask help from my parents anymore. but work is starting to drain the remaining in me. so one day, i have decided to enroll for a masteral degree.
almost six months have passed, i am still wearing the same attire that i have worn since college. i may have a new pen now but i still don't have any documents to sign. the dream is still a dream, in short. and now, as i wrap up my final paper for the last class i will have tomorrow, i thought, if only i knew that the sophistication of the corporate world is far more complicated than i thought it was and the word independence is not that pleasing as i supposed it to be, i should have probably atleast prolonged my stay in college and gather all the necessary and possible experiences i can have.
indeed, be careful of what you wish for and i am even aware that probably three years from now, i might regret writing this as well.
if only i can buy contentment even in retail