Monday, September 1, 2008

relationship by benefits

*the followng is a reaction to mugen's post.

cultural marxism states that human relationships are anchored upon economic relations. basically, the individual's economic status creates, defines and reinvents his/her relationship/s to his society. one of the most popular and most deviant example of this, is relationship by benefits. the benefit which is dependent upon those brought about by material wealth.
in a relationship by benefits, we have the sponsor and the sponsoree. the former being the one who possesses the capital. while the latter is the one who commits in the proposed relationship in exchange of it. but unlike other economic relations, there is no definite exploiter and being exploited in this set up. although the sponsor may dictate how and what the relationship will be, he is ,on the other hand, alienated with his own capital. while, eventhough the sponsoree dominates how the capital will be spent, s/he is alienated with his/her emotions and at the very worst his/her being human.
both individuals benefit from one another. but the relationship is also not as securing as those relationships founded by emotions or to be more specific---by love.
after reading mugen's post, i have realized a clearer picture of this relationship, atleast in my perspective.
he narrates how he have employed the service of a masseur he met through a mIRC channel and then discovered another picture behind the facade of this person, he have long fantasized.
after the price bargaining, both decided to meet in the masseur's pad. there, while the massuer was giving mugen the service, he have opened himself out to him and confessed that aside from this job, he also has sponsors to provide his daily allowance and school expenses. unfortunately, they come and go. thus, he needs to do something else for him to be able to survive and graduate college.
everyone, who have employed such service, would probably say that this is one of their usual pick up stories, in order, to convince their customers to chip in a bigger tip or render additional service. (well, for my case, i have learned about it through the film, masahista.)
but the way mugen have narrated his experience moved me. especially when he said: As he was reaching for my chest, I looked at his chinito eyes. His gaze were steely and cold-blooded and no matter how he smiled, it felt like his heart was already drowned from cynicism that it could not distinguish a real kindness from a self-serving one.
for a moment, i felt myself in the masseur's shoes and understood how his experiences made him to be numbed with his emotions---to be as cold and hard as our pavement's stone and to believe that his eyes are already drained of tears. one of the worst feelings if you'll ask me.
but when i was about to blame and curse his sponsors and everybody who have used him, another picture came in.
i imagine a picture of a man, a very rich business man. but he is an old, unattractive, fat and lonely gay man. probably, the most feared and avoided picture of every homosexual i know.
aside from his wealth, the old man barely has nothing. so he needs to use what is left of him to buy those things that time took away: companionship, satisfaction, happiness, youth and even the feeling of being loved even if its just for a moment and most importantly, even if its untrue.
but despite all of these that his money can buy, probably, time also taught him, through experience, that anything bought out of wealth tends to be extremely hurting at the end. thus, to save himself, he also needs to learn how to make his feelings numb and never get attach to another person over a long period of time.
indeed, life is cruel and to quote darwin, it is survival of the fittest. man needs to maximize his resources in order to outlive his challenges: that is, to seek pleasure and avoid pain. and in the case above, both have exercised everything due necessary to achieve it.
but at the end of the day, they'll just realized that they have just returned back from where they have started. the sponsoree having to do his low earning profession again, to look for another sponsor. while the old man, still unattractive, fat and alone, looking for another sponsoree.
the vicious cycle will start turning its wheel over and over again until both realized that this is becoming endless, at worst for them.

sometimes it surprises me, how i am able to fabricate this kind of story. hahaha.


Mugen said...

Wow, this analysis amazes me Ewwwik. You were able to take each piece of my essay and understand its components. Looking at my previous entries about clubbing, you will realize that I'm in a head-on collision with cynicism. Had it not for the gift of writing, I won't be able to express the remaining humanity that still resides in me.

I don't know how the final installment would come out. But rest assured that for the first time, I saw clearly the stand-off between those forces who still maintain my compassion for others, and the newer opposition that claims that in all aspects of gay life, it is, in the end, the survival of the fittest.

As for you, no matter how life turns out worse that I have expected, you will always see the humanity in me.

Lance said...

aahheemmmm.. nag nosebleed ako..hehehe

Looking For The Source said...

life is indeed harsh.

being cynical helps. most of the time.

amicus said...

nosebleed, pare. haha :D

dabo said...

putsa ewikk.. hindi na ako makikipag-argue sa iyo hahaha!

wala na akong mga bodily fluids.. semen and saliva included...

ala na.. tapos na existence ko sa earth..

--- --

pero kung-i-explain natin ang kwento ni mugen base sa 2nd law ng thermodynamics.... yung nangyayari is obviusly a wahahaha :) hahha.. galing ni kuya ewikk!

Coldman said...

di ako maka relate. dyuk.

Bino/Geno said...

Haha. Sira ka.

I would never enter a relationship just for money. I have experienced how money can control your life. That's not what I want.

Kiks said...

minsan, the essence is lost in too many words.

this one caught it.


that rich old gay man should have spent his money with lipo, and all cosmetic surgeries he can possibly access.

that will make his life less miserable MAYBE.

RONeiluke, RN said...

bravo! i was able to read mugen's post. it was told in detail. pero having reading this post ngayon ko lang naintindihan what lies beneath mugen's words. wow... this is one hell of an insight. you're surprised? me too! astig!

harmonie said...

another informative article.GREAT =)

Keitaro Hanazawa said...

ang pangit naman ng ganitong relationship. Pera-pera lang? Pero, reality bites. Maraming relationships na ganito ang takbo.

Lionheart : Richard the Adventurer said...

For me ha, base on experience... Napakaselfish naman kung ang tinitingnan mo sa isang relationship ay ang benefits... Pero syempre tama ka rin.... Hehe!

Kaya siguro ako laging nasasaktan... No one knows! lolz! Hehe :)

xxxborgexxx said...

Trying to explain away a person's cynicism and cold heart works most of the time. We are assured that even the meanest people deserve kindness. But that isn't true all the time. There are people who won't feel for your emotions, who are cold by nature, and who will take advantage because they are moved just by instinct. It works anyway. There are people who aren't willing to be taken advantage of but they let it happen to begin with. The question then is, who's got a bigger share of the blame? Madaming gago kasi madami ring nagpapagago.

dazedblu* said...

reading this one, [I] remember my friend said, I have a friend.. best friend with benefits? watta?

Yes, friend for a long a time, partner for the mean time.