Monday, September 8, 2008

faith

a friend once asked me what i think my past life was.
although i never really believe in reincarnation, the same way i have with heaven and hell. out of nothing in mind to say, i answered, "i think i am a penguin in my past life."



she then gave me a 'huh?!' look and asked me, "why?"
"because i think i was a frustrated performer."
"how can a penguin be a performer?"
"because of its fur. if you'll look at it, it looks like a tuxedo coat. and if you'll ask for another question i'll be forced to bill you."

then i read a line from a book that states, the more man achieves knowledge and rationality over the things around him, the lesser his religious faith becomes intact.

although i am not a religious person, i can't say that i am an atheist. i consider myself more of an agnostic or a non practitioner. for me, as long as science still cannot answer everything about life, then my believe for a god is still there. but as i have mentioned about in my previous posts, my being agnostic is anchored more upon the very institution itself propagating its doctrines. it has been a long time struggle for me, not to believe that there are biases, alterations and even falsehood in the dogmas of it.

a year after, i found myself conversing with mugen regarding the same topic over a couple of mucho mugs. i told him that i really don't get the idea why there should be the concept of soul and past life, if you'll not remember or carry over anything in your succeeding life. so what if you'll know that you have known that you are an old soul and if you were a grasshopper before? how would this affect the way you live your life in the present? if live or soul is just cycling over various time and space, then what will our purpose be? where and what is the finish line?

for me, the concept of reincarnation is the same difference with the concept of heaven and hell. whereas, each individual is conditioned with rewards and punishments. if you do what was instituted as "good", you are promised to go to heaven or get a "better" status and body in your next life. if you live the otherwise, it is expected that you go to hell or have a more remorse condition from what you currently have.

excuse me for saying this, but in my opinion (only), i believe that this relation is the blood life of all religion: to condition and control their followers. and without it would mean the break down of the very religion, morals, mores and even one's culture, where religion is rooted.

nonetheless, one should distinguish religion per se from an institutionalized religion. religion per se is the nature of an individual towards his spiritual faith or to whatever he believes in in life. institutionalized religion, on the other hand, is the faith established in one self with the help of the social institutions around him. although both share the same impact to one's spiritual self, it greatly differs on how we relate ourselves to others.

but then i wondered, what if there is such a thing as a genuine faith? what if there is indeed truth in all of these? what if it is worth believing?

then i finally realized that my perception towards institutionalized religion clouded my stand towards religion as a whole over the years. i miss the picture of myself praying. for me, it is like talking to one self and igniting something inside (probably this is what they call soul---not necessarily something that are misty or what we see in the movies). i miss giving thanks to whatever i have achieved every night. i miss asking guidance and will to overcome hardships. and i even miss those days, walking along streets without the feeling that i am actually alone.

source

so the other night, before i put myself to sleep, i knelt down beside my bed and shut my eyes close just like the way i use to do it before. then everything went automatically. the next thing i knew, i was already talking to myself again. the feeling was nostalgic. it is as if you are unburdening a heavy pile of something out from inside.

source


the next morning, i felt that i just had one of the deepest and lightest sleep i ever had for a very long time. believe it or not, the first thing that i actually did when i woke up, was to smile. i was smiling because of the idea that nothing in my believe actually changed. but i was able to finally brought my faith back.

here, in me--- again.

16 comments:

Lance said...

A male/female pig reaches orgasm which lasts for upto 30 minutes....

If given the chance, I think would like to become a pig in my next life...

oink3x..


ah este...

He3x pala...


Good morning...

Sexymoi said...

i would like to be me again in my next life... probably by that time i'll know how to deal with life better... la lang hehe

lethalverses said...

faith, I believe, is most of the times consumed by the religion itself.


OFFT: very very well written, especially the sudden shift (from explaining your thoughts about institutionalized religion - or the dogma of it, to the realization that started with missing the picture of yourself praying - and seemingly igniting something deeper inside you) at the latter part of the post...

lupet mo parekoy! idol!

Aracir said...

that's nice to hear (or read).

White said...

i'm becoming more of an agnostic myself.

dabo said...

my stand on faith is that heaven and hell doesn't really exist, all there is universe..

like rewards and punishment, heaven and hell are objects of polarity and its all relative..

if a man stood in space, his concept of up and down would certainly be blurred.. but thanks to gravity we are all stuck on earth..

so if there is no heaven in my belief, most people, the religious would find me boring, however they would accused me of blasphemy silently, kampon ni ganito or would be promised a land title, a prime location in hell..one to be beware of

sigh.. belief in something specially somebody above you..i.e. gods, religions, elite schools or gov'ts are formed of labels and give people sense of security.. somehow it gives meaning to our existence.. and so we work a lot to prove to our selves and to the organized civilization that "I am Christian or I am muslim or I am a graduate or I was a product of this and that.."

but security is not a law of nature if i have to explain life based on chaos theory, nothing really matters.. but strenght of one's character as he glides in the universe, that is taking full responsibility of one self and not some silly acceptance of the role society placed for him.

God created us in his image and likeness.. we are not here to adore God, coz if I were God, I am everything I need..

we are also creators... we could choose to be happy or we could choose to be sad.. we could choose to be thankful or ungrateful..

and for most of us we choose to be in Hell, while waiting in line in Heaven for a miracle

--- --

btw: i think reincarnation is true, based on physical laws of conservation of mass and energy & Darwinian evolution..

Mugen said...

Somehow, my religion finally caught you. Bwahaha.

Seriously dude. I don't have any religion, what I have is spirituality. I don't want to believe in the concept of heaven or hell because it would be a great waste of eternity to stay there. What I cling on is reincarnation. Alam mo kung bakit?

,"Reincarnation is a story we tell; then in the end it is the story itself that is the reincarnation."

"But I don't want that to end," she said.

"No. And yet it does. This is the reality we were born into. We can't change it by desire."

"...The Buddha says we should give up our desires."

"But that too is a desire!"

"So we never really give it
up...What the Buddha was suggesting is impossible. Desire is life trying to continue to be life. All living things desire, bacteria feel desire. Life is wanting."
,

So there, I got that passage from the book, The Years of Rice and Salt.

Besides, it would be a great waste of human spirit, if we are bound to fade the moment we pass away.

Somewhere along the vastness of the cosmos, it is my desire to retain even a speck of my former existence.

Tama na, nosebleed na tayo. Ahaha.

But I'm glad your nurturing your faith back. Spirituality and Science, when you look at the bigger picture, never clashes, when someone who looks at it has an open mind.

Abou said...

nagdadasal lang ako kapag me malaking problema. kakahiya nga ke Lord.

joaqui_miguel said...

I have always thought of myself as an old soul. I like to believe in reincarnation because it's hard for me to digest that when I die, that's it.

PROSETITUTE said...

i dont know. i keep on believing that there is no god, but would end up praying at night.

PROSETITUTE said...

btw, already added you on my list :)

Niel Camhalla said...

the things we tell ourselves to help us sleep at night...

Bino/Geno said...

Hmm.. I don't believe in hell. :) But i do believe in purgatory. They say it's a bad place where you stay to do good and be better. It's sounds like life all over again. So my conclusion, purgatory is being born again in earth.

Coffee naman tayo. Chat. :)

harmonie said...

it doesn't matter what religion you're in, all that matters is how strong your faith is and trust in and loyalty to God.

GBY always!

Toilet Thoughts said...

I kinda agree with kuya joms with the two words he mentioned.

Spirituality and Religion. Though I think I have separate views as I am bound by a teaching of a Church.

For me, as a Christian ( as per spirituality/ lifestyle/ belief), religion does not save you (prevent you from going to hell), its more of your belief (spiritual sense) on God.

I guess faith is a hard topic when discussed by people of different culture and views in life.

But i stand by my faith. I am bounded by no religion. Religion was set mostly by tradition (that has nothing to do with faith, but more so distracts you to the more important facets of living out your faith).

Other topics discussed would be hard to comment on. Heaven and earth and even purgatory .... teachings on these differ per theologeans or other bible scholars or other religious leaders. So I would pass on these topics. hehe.

Toilet Thoughts said...

I kinda agree with kuya joms with the two words he mentioned.

Spirituality and Religion. Though I think I have separate views as I am bound by a teaching of a Church.

For me, as a Christian ( as per spirituality/ lifestyle/ belief), religion does not save you (prevent you from going to hell), its more of your belief (spiritual sense) on God.

I guess faith is a hard topic when discussed by people of different culture and views in life.

But i stand by my faith. I am bounded by no religion. Religion was set mostly by tradition (that has nothing to do with faith, but more so distracts you to the more important facets of living out your faith).

Other topics discussed would be hard to comment on. Heaven and earth and even purgatory .... teachings on these differ per theologeans or other bible scholars or other religious leaders. So I would take a pass on these topics. hehe.