today's open letter

to whom it may concern,

i never really thought that making the best out of your time is this difficult. when most of us say that we need to seize the moment for life is short, i think some of us fail to recognize how formidable time could be as an opponent.
everything now, is quite nostalgic: back to the game again. i am counting hours and allocating my time to everything that i need to do. its freakingshly exhausting. but believe it or not, i am incredibly enjoying it (my sado-masochist side speaking).
everyday, i need to wake up around 4 in the morning, to beat the traffic and the rush hour, from katipunan going to makati. my work starts exactly 6 in the morning and ends 3 in the afternoon. after work, i only have an hour to go to school, that is from makati to ubelt. for my classes starts around 5 in the afternoon and ends around 9 in the evening. finally, another 30 minutes lrt ride back to katipunan. and the same vicious cycle continuous.
normally, i study in between lunch hour at work, when i arrive early at school and before i go to bed which is around 12 midnight. thus, its a common thing to me make love with stress, caress lack of sleep and woohoo!-ly make out with exhaustion.
but there are times like today, where i failed to finish the required readings assigned: 6 article and 25 cases in a period of a day. so who could blame me if i am absent, sitting and typing infront of the monitor today?

guiltly justifying my absence,
ewik

You are The Moon

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

***

tsk.tsk.tsk.

i never thought tarot cards were these scary... i am no (big) believer of such, but i just realized that sometimes its nice to know something that is beyond our selfish rationale---just like what this moon card is telling me now.

the desperate move

a lesson learned, never accept challenges from desperate competitors. sadly, it was already too late when i realized this.
the other night we dine in with friends in illustrado inside intramuros. the food was great and freakinglishly out of my class. there, tin, confessed to me that the rest of the guys did something to make me drunk the last time we drank (in referrence to the previous post). i was surprised by the moment, i heardit from her.
i calmly asked," what?"
"they put vetsin (yes! vetsin as in monosodium glutamate aka ajinomoto) in your drink," she answered.
at first, i was in doubt if i heard it correctly. but tin affirmed, it was indeed vetsin.
***
vetsin, as we all know is a common food ingredient to almost all of our local dishes. but because of recent studies, where most scientist have linked it to cancer, some health pips stopped using the said ingredient.
***
unlike its effect to food, vetsin is way different when you mix it to your drink. since we were drinking brandy, which like all alcoholic drinks, is a downer: vetsin, is actually an upper (like gatorade, energy drink etc.): and the mixture of both is a very deadly drink. it accelerates your heart bit and makes the influence of the alcohol in a 250 km/sec speed. some would actually say that its quite deadly since it tends to disorient your body's normal reaction towards alcohol. no wonder i felt extreme difficulty in breathing, as if it was asthma.
***
so just be reminded and warned: kids, don't do this at home and even at your neighborhood! only professional do this! hehehe!

now, i am commuting makati

yup, i know. it has been a while since i last posted something. but believe me, sometimes long silence can tell us that something happened and changed.
all of us has our own principles in life. regardless, if this may be political, social, cultural or personal and even how we hold on to it, may also vary depending upon lots of things.
***
recently, i had a long four day off in school due to the typhoon, our professor not attending class again and the manila day celebration. but despite the typhoon that struck, this didn't slow me down. at the middle of hard rain and strong winds, i managed to get out of my place and went to patty's birthday party in a nearby restaurant, had coffee and talked until the break of dawn. this is how brave a law student could be after knowing there will be no classes the next day.

monday, i met some friends and accompanied them for a job application in makati. fortunately, we passed the first interview and scheduled us the next day at 8am for our exams and hopefully, our final interview.
after makati, i went to tomas morato and met some of my former blockmates for a drinking spree. before i realized that these guys were up to no good again.
in my former block, i was the only person who haven't gone drunk yet. thus, my blockmates suggested we drink hard after only-god-knows how many buckets of beer. as usual, i declined. for empoy or brandy never really pleased my alcoholic throat.
so one of them proposed a dare: if i beat the three of them first in a bottoms up round, they'll be my neophyte for a week. but if one of them beats me, we'll go for hard drinks. unfortunately, i lost after two rounds from a former schoolmate in baguio. so we went to another blockmate's condo in manila and feasted two long neck bottles of brandy. just imagine, the brandy shot was taller than the chaser. wasn't it dead fishy?
it was already 4am, when i already felt really dizzy and told them i have to go because of my job application by 8am. but they insisted me to stay. but i insisted more. until they decided to stand infront of the door and not allow me to go out. my persistence then became physical and then they retaliated with violence until it became brutal.
at the middle of the wrestle, i felt a bit of difficulty in breathing. then it became deep and loud. for the first time in my life, i experienced asthma. then my blockmates got worried. someone already carried me over to his car and insisted that he'll bring me to a hospital, since no one has a nebulizer that time. but i insisted that i am okay and all i need is a ride home. after a long breathless argument, i managed to persuade them.
everything was still moving by the time i stepped out of the car. i waived my goodbyes to them and approached the gate. on my surprise, i can't find my keys. even my earing was also missing. probably because of the wrestle. so embarassingly, i knocked, woke and asked my land lord to open the gate and door for me. by the time, i reached bed, everything went black and there's nothing else that i could remember.
it was already 11am in the morning when i woke up. in my surprise, there were almost hundreds of sms and missed calls from two of my friends, asking me where the hell i am?
i immeditely stood out of bed, even remembered feeling that i was about to fall because of hangover.
i took a cab that brought me to makati. i literally run inside the building. i told the staff in charge that i wasn't able to go to the scheduled exam and interview time because of some family emergencies. fortunately, they bought my alibi considering the bloodshots that i still have in my eyes.
i finished 8 long exams while struggling to carry two heavy eyes and breaking head. after the exam, the staff told me to come back again after an hour for my final exam. it was just then, that i learned that the two of my friends didn't make it.
then the final interview, while i was being interviewed, i noticed that everything went a pace slower: understanding the question, formulating an answer and even how i answer the questions was slow. nonetheless, i bagged it. a job offer was given to me after the interview. a job offer that made me awoke for a moment because of the pay that i am about to get. it was almost 80% greater than my previous pay plus the benefits and allowances were also unexpected.
the staff directed me to a cube to read the contract. although still amazed with the offer, something struck me at the back of my head.
***
then i thought of my principle and the word practicality. a clash between the two words began. both, in which, controling my decision to sign or not to sign the contract. i began to see myself when i was in college as my principles pull the templates of each slide. while my practicallity just triggered my brain to focus its senses into my buttocks and feel my thining wallet.
principle over practicality for me is not a simple issue. aside from the fact that i dont like the taste of my own pride, i feel that a part of me got embarass and/or died.
the pen never felt that heavier while i was signing the contract. my bumness status finally ended.
***
that night, i went back to patty's place to greet her again. despite the still not seizing hang over. in my surprise, she asked me, " bakit ganyan ang amoy mo? ang lakas, uminom ka ba?"




instead of answering the question, i felt worried and began asking myself as well!

tubero for hire

now, i understand why there

is an alarming increase of tuberos (plumbers) in the metro.

my hypothesis:

the number of tuberos in the NCR

is directly proportional

to the rate of un(der)employment.

honestly, as of the moment, i am beginning to consider

this job. as if i know how to plumb

and i have a six pack abs

as visualized in the movies

and in your mind!

hahaha!

soulmates: a mere thought myth(?)

once, there was an ancient myth that tells that when the first humans were created, they were of two heads, four arms and four limbs. they have lived harmoniously together with other beings that were created. then one day, they've became very curious about things and began to learn. the humans learned faster than the rest. until they became rationale about things and thus, assigned to rule over all creations.
unfortunately, being rationale has its own toll over those who possesses it.
the humans started arguing with one another for having two heads that have minds that think separately and differently. the arguements became endless and affected everything. havoc was first experienced by all.
to resolve the problem, the creator decided to split them in half. so that both minds were free to do what they think and want to. from there, freewill was given. but the moment it happened, they felt something they haven't felt before. they felt so incomplete inside. then they learned that the only heart they both share was also split in half. for the first time, they felt sadness and loneliness. it was miserable.
both pleed their creator to put them as one again and promised not to argue anymore. but the creator insisted that it was the consequence they have to face.

from then on, humans were of one head, two arms, two limbs and half of a heart and forever searching for their other half.

***

probably if there is one thing that is of no scientific basis that i can believe into other than an omnipotent being free of institutional chains, it will be soulmates.
it is hilariously mushy to think how most of us tend to invent ways in determining our soulmates. most of us, ask for signs, consult psychics and even pathetically light a candle infront of a mirror at midnight just to know our better halves. embarassingly enough, i am one of them (you).
after being in a number of relationships, i always asked myself, is this it? sometimes i even asked, if my other half has already passed or is it just about to come? how will i know if its already there?
some friends tell me that it will just come and you just have to wait. but then again, what if its already beside me and i am still waiting, will there be bells ringing above me telling me that it is already my better half?
well, probably nobody really can tell. its a matter of us really to find out.

last night, after class, i had dinner with my former blockmates in san beda in mister kebab.
in my surprise, what i thought to be a usual dinner, full of memories turned out to be a revelation i would never forget.
isko, one of my blockamates and happened to be a schoolmate form baguio as well, confessed to us that he is single again after a three-year relationship with her girlfriend. at first, i thought it was probably one of his antics. but when he told us the details in full conviction of sincerity, i almost dropped my jaw on the table.
after that night, it came to me that time no matter how long, will not always be the determining factor in saying if one already met his/her match: that it could only prepare us for what is still ahead. in addition, there are also situations that regardless of how one efforts and forces him/herself to work things out, if its not meant to be, it will never go through. its like pieces of a puzzle. no matter how you force a piece on a slot, if its not the right piece, it will never complete the picture.
probably, soulmates are one of life's greatest mysteries. a labrynth that everyone is oblige to enter, learn and unravel. that despite the time and effort you put into it there are still no assurance that you are heading to the right way. as of now, all of us are still drafting our own maps and this happens to be mine. from which, the only thing that i can hope for, is that the other half of my map is also about to lead its owner to its other part.

for the first time, let's talk about fashion naman

i have never tried writing an entry about fashion. in which, i find very appealing to most people. i notice a lot of people, even friends who would go to shopping sites and fashion blog and web sites.

i bet, you would probably have atleast two sites that you go to that is related with fashion.

unfortunately, like singing, fashion is something that i am not comfortable/confident discussing with. nonetheless, i am willing to take the risk. so for my first attempt, here is the fartherst i could get when it comes to the hippiest fashion trend in the country.

abner mercado (the trend setter)

friend: teka, teka, teka... di ba reporter yun? kelan pa siya naging trend setter?

ewik: eh di tanungin mo sa mga taong nagsusuot at nakikigaya sa scarf niya, kahit napakainit dito sa manila!

kung di mo naman kayang tanungin, imaginin mo na lang kung gaano ka moist ang mga leeg nila. hehehe!

i hope i made well for my first attempt. hehehe.

what the world needs: in celebration of our independence and my mum's bewtdey

"all we need is love to make the world a more peaceful place to live in," as the clicheic beauty pageant answer goes. but i believe, otherwise.

recently, i've received an email message regarding some of the topics on my blog. good thing, he identified himself as an acquianted friend at the end of the message for i thought that i am beginning to receive hate mails (naks!).
he asked me that if i (would) promote social deviances, am i not propagating criminal acts or even anarchy for that matter?
the question hit me hard and honestly, for a while i felt guilty thinking that probably in an unconscious or indirect way, i am indeed already doing it. but my defensive side never fails to surprise me.
i thought that although, illegal acts are not always immoral acts and vise versa, it could not be denied that most of these prohibitions and acceptance are anchored upon how a society establishes its morals.
morals are not universal. they are bound in-context of the culture of a particular society. therefore, social deviances like incest, homosexuality, abortion and the like maybe prohibited in one and maybe accepted in another. everything is in question of who and in whose interest were morality created.
probably you are already as lost as i am. so let's try breaking it down using one of the symposia (drinking discussions as literally defined in greek) i had with some friends.
a friend raised that, if abortion is accepted or atleast legalized and/or morally accepted, it is inevitable that the explosion of sexual diseases like AIDS or HIV may happen. such could even beat the bird flue pandemia. she even pictured an entire block holding a non-stop banging rave parties (how graphic). in which every house is competing for the record of last house banging or standing without even thinking of any additional baggage the next day.
(aside from broken hearts for some, ofcourse," i added.)
i answered, "if you'll think of it, such are sensationalized assumptions. for they will happen or already happening even without abortion, or homosexuality or incest or what not being legalized or accepted,

i believe that what the world needs is to learn how to respect free will. "

bringing out the prodigal christian in me, i rememebered one of the lessons in our cathecism class. our teacher once told us that the best gift that god gave us, next to his son, was free will. although ofcourse, we are bound to our own mistakes and it is inevitable to create one under the standards of morality again. i think that we are entitled to our own choices provided that we will not directly cross another's.
i know for some, its not easy to embrace because of various factors that they are reared and raised upon. but atleast for me that is what i think about life: living in and by your choices, learning to your mistakes and enjoying the lessons you have gained from it up until the end or if it would even stop.


*
hampey bewtdey MAMA.

my first and last day at work

i entered the building, on time, as usual. i was waiting for someone to entertain me. then came the hr staff, quite busy, as usual as well. she guided me to the conference room. i sat and she talked. she told me that she considered me to two positions. one was the position i have applied for and the other one was a moderator for a particular social networking site. since i did well in copywriting the exam, which was supposed to be a proof reading thing. hehehe.
then, with all the guts in the world, i told her that i am enrolled. i was already expecting, sorry we do not entertain students lines. then she told me that would not be a problem since they are linient with students in their company. but she told me that the position that i have applied for would conflict my class schedules and is shifting sched position. what a luck? considering that they gave me my expected salary. tsktsk.
then here came the moderator. it has a fixed sched, 6 am to 3 pm. monday to friday. wow... i just can't wait for the catch. when i asked for a petiks job, i never meant this super duper petiks. basically, what i'll do is just censor, rate and tag sms and chat conversations, images, audios and videos. slap me hard please is this for real.
the catch came, she told me the salary was way lower than what i asked, its only 12,000 plus performance bonuses.
then there were flashbacks. i thought of my rent, transpos, books, readings, photocopied cases, mister kebab, tomatokick. i felt as if my market value fell down really hard.
but i thought of still considering it. so i took the training without even signing the contract yet. darn! the job is too good to be true. if you're not going to think about the salary. then came the boss...ehem! huwwwwwaaaaaaaaawwwwww!!!
it was already 4 pm, when i excused myself to smoke. i smoked a stick and made a decision. i entered the building, claimed my id, rode a cab, went straight to home and then attended my first day in class!
as easy as that. well i just hope i won't regret it.

quarter life crisis

i really don't have plans of posting something today. but while i was checking at my site i received a message that made my entire system pump like never before. so i decided to post a brief icebreaker, just bare with me, my blog!

if you happen to read this site, you'll probably remember this post: the most unfortunate person. it was the entry where i told the story of how i screw up a job's application, in terms of the exam and the final interview. but hey guess what? they've actually just messaged me, saying that i got the position. wow after more than 2 weeks of waiting.
probably by now, you are thinking that i won't post this entry just to congratulate myself because i got the position. hey, you are now reading me. congratulations!!!
but here's the catch, when i applied for the position, i told them that i have nothing else to do but to work. but since i have been dismayed with what happened to my final interview and haven't heard from the company thinking that i didn't make it, i have decided to enroll for law school. now here is where the real problem begins.
the company is requesting me to start around 830am. counting the number of hours i need to work, uhhhmmm... wait this is math... it takes time, you know, i will log out around 530 in the afternoon. wait, my classes starts around 6 in the evening. so i am counting again, give me a sec. it means that i have only 30 minutes of traveling time from libis to recto.
i could take a cab from libis to katipunan then ride the lrt and dropped by either legarda or recto. but i think it would take more than 30 minutes, my dear, to get there.
haaay, now i am thinking if i would still accept the position or i could talk to them and inform them what happened to my life within the 2 weeks they didn't contact me. hoping that they could just give me a fix schedule that would fit to my classes. but if not, i still have another job application coming but there's a catch again. how come there should always be a catch? its boring! sigh!
this is probably what we call quarter-life crisis, my friend. i am just thinking that if somebody have came up with the term then probably i am not the only person who is experiencing this. i just wish that or those people haven't committed suicide yet.
anyhow, wish me luck!

do you know what a happy horse is?

if not, then you might not be as alcoholic as i am.

i am a very flexible person. but when it comes to preferences i rather go with san mig light. since i am still convinced that it doesn't make your tummy bulgy than the rest of the alcoholic beverages they offer among bars because of its claim of low calorie content.
but the other night, we decided to drink in one of the chiller's place here in quezon city. most of my friends are into red horse, so just not to be a killer joy and feel the redundancy of peer pressure, i ordered one too.
and guess what, i got a happy horse bottle.

the happy horse bottle is second from the left.

urban drinkers legend has it, if you happen to have one, it would bring you good fortune. it would make your alcohol tolerance way beyond your threshold. even make your mojos commanding every individual you lay yours eyes into in your command as well. some also claims that the beer content of it is different from the rest of the red horse bottles. it could invigorate you: make your muscles more visible just like the way you wanted them to be. it would make you stronger as strong as 3000 horses. some would even look for cases after cases for they believe that it could boost your sexual endurance.

but theres a catch, because before you could even notice it, you'll just wake up, unable to speak. there is only one weird sound that you could produce in your throat. a very familiar sound. but still unreconcillable. then you'll notice that both your hands and feet are raised as if touching the ceiling. the sight is quite blurry that you couldn't even see your finger toes anymore. then you try to stand up. but it seemed like everything became taller. you tried going to the bathroom like you usually do every morning and you'll be surprise by the time you look at the mirror.

you are now one of the happy horse club. atleast with pretty pink dyed hair. then a group of men will force to enter your house and will ship you to wright park, baguio city and forced you to work for them. together with the rest of the others, who were also deceived by the happy horse curse.

the end.

hahaha. i am just pulling your leg.

basically, i would just like to point out that happy horse bottles are rare. thus, they are cool. bow!

10 signs to an artist's starDOOM

june 05, 2008. 1100am.

phone endlessly ringing. i woke up. its che. che was inviting me to go to makati. she was persistent. i am still sleepy. she was still persistent. i gave up. i got up and fixed myself up.

i walked. i bought a bottle of purified water at ministop. i walked to lrt. i dropped at lrt cubao. i walked again. i entered gateway. there's a bridge. then farmers mall. i rode a bus. for mrt had a long line and the place was hot. so i decided to take the bus. but the traffic in edsa was worst. the driver won't just proceed without filling up his bus with passengers. its almost 30 minutes of waiting and we're still in ortigas. if i just knew this would happen. i should have just taken the train.

finally, i reached makati. hey, there something familiar about the place. i know the building. it reminded me of my ex---ex works here! i hope che and her friends are already here. oooh! there they are.

we went to cubao. need to accompany che to the bus terminal for her la union trip. she missed her flight again to south korea for the nth time. but i love the psp she gave me. it made me feel more materialist. but appreciated. i love her so much. but don't get me wrong. i am a materialist with a twist, whatever that be.

we went to the bus terminal. she bought a ticket. its still an hour before it leaves the terminal. we walked again. we saw a billiard bar. along the street??? we bought beer. a couple of bottles for each. we talked. we teased. alvin was already red and we're all talking nonsense and its just two bottles.

545pm.

che don't want to leave anymore.

615.

we rode a cab to sarahs in up diliman. we drank again. we saw lester, another friend from baguio. then another friend, then another and another. we ordered a round, another round, then another, until we stopped counting. theres a jam. but i only drink.

2am.

che already gave up. we waived a taxi to makati. i dropped at katipunan. i openned the door. took a bath and went to sleep.

i woke up the next day asking myself "was it a dream?" probably, because i have no hang over. but then i felt my tummy. it aches terribly. my body twisting, making fetus position. i rolled on my bed. i fell to the floor.

then i realized, i havent eaten for the entire day yesterday...and yes i drank. thus, it was not a dream.

but this wouldn't stop me from posting something. i decided to post TOP 10!!! its been a long time and i can't compose my thoughts. but here goes.

***

10 signs to an artist's stardoom.

10. most of them begin guesting to game shows.

9. most of them decide to pose for a sexy magazine or shift to a more daring or sexier image. and the worst part of it is, they claim they are doing it for "art's sake"

8. most of them try establishing their own business products ranging from whitening soaps to food items.

7. most of them claim that someone's stalking them, get into a bar fight, lover's quarrel or any "petty" crimes.

6. most of them have sex video scandals circulating among phones and pirated dvds, in which some came from them in the first place.

5. (although i hate to admit this) most of them begin doing independent films. but still are questionable whether or not its is really an independent film.

4. most of them have rumors of having DOM(dirsty old men) or rich gay lovers.

3. most of them confess and even hold a live coverage of their surgical enhancement.

2. most of them instantly become singers or form a singing band.

1. most of them begin to guest or become one of the mainstay hosts of kuya germ's walang tulugan.

*again, the following entry is just my personal opinion and does not reflect the opinion of the entire blogging community. hehehe.

the prize

"no one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

Eleanor Roosevelt, 'This Is My Story,' 1937

this would probably be one of the most powerful quotations I've encountered, if not the best. and it was just recently when i remembered and acted upon its essence.
I am seriously beginning to feel the toll of my upcoming semester. for i never thought that transferring to another school plus looking for a job that would not conflict with my classes or atleast, a day job was this exhausting. so i strolled inside a mall here in quezon city as a part of my usual regime whenever i am stressed out.
while i was walking and feeling the place, a chinky-eyed man, probably in his mid-30s, accidentally bumped against me. i knew it was nobody's fault since both of us didn't see one another coming. so out of politeness i immediately retaliated with apologies. but what i thought to be as a usual street bumps, was actually a nag from hell.
it was just that point that i determined that he was a foreigner (basing from the way he speaks) when he began shouting and pointing his forefinger to me. i've heard curses and prejudices in what was supposed to be an english litany. it was already just active listening and commonsense that was working in me to decipher what he was actually saying. but when i've heard the words: filipinos, stupid, dark-skinned and skin slugs, i knew it was already beyond the incident.

source

despite his attitude, i still allowed him to finish his monologue. i also noticed some passerbys pausing and sneaking in our lame commotion. but i didn't drop my ground. i remained silent and eyes directly staring at him. honestly, i was already thinking about more racist things inside my head, like i never thought your mind was more close than your eyes and etc. but i knew for a fact that i would not stoop down to his racist-ass level.
finally, he paused and before he could even open his mouth, i immediately owned the opportunity,
i even remember making a step forward and told him,
"from the way you reacted, mister, this would just prove to yourself and the rest of those who have heard that you are a hundred times worst than what you have foolishly said."
then i gracefully turned my back away from him and calmly walk away. i don't know if he just had difficulties understanding what i've said or did not at all. but he didn't actually chase me, as i have feared it to be.

i was already inside the train when everything began to sink in. it was a total disbelief for me, that i actualkly did that. considering i am not really the war freak or confrontational type of a guy.on the other hand, i knew from the moment he sounded racist, that iwas a major petpeeve that i wouldn't allow to pass.
i really felt good after the incident. i felt as if i have won the most victorious battle of my life: teaching someone that the foulest being is the one who throw foul things against other beings.

sponsor

since i really don't have anything in mind to discuss about, i just want to thank my sponsor: tshirt blahs for coming up such a wonderful statement shirt for me.

whatever!

why ewik?

when i was in college i tried carrying out my second name, erik. instead of my first name which i am more familiar with (as jeff), just for a change. at first it was pretty much successful. it sounded as if i am an entirely different person.

but what i forgot was that i can't pronounce "R". so people from college started playing with my tounge, not that figuratively. they would just ask me to say phrases like: congresswoman aurora herrera or pronounce ra-re-ri-ro-ru and all those rrrr-rrrrr-rrrrr! which i really hate. people seemed like having a blast playing at me.

until they started calling me as ewik. instead of ewik. ewik the short tounge.

anyhow, 10 more days to go and its classes again! i just wish i could finish the enrolment tomorrow.