are we just plain hopefuls, believing that in striving and repeating it over and over again, we can correct thise mistake? or are we just fed up with the same circles that we are already trying to numb ourselves and suck up our fate?
it is like a violent game, where everyone is trying to defend themselves but trying to have fun at the same time. we chase each other, feed each other with pretensions and images for the other to bite the bait. we feast the price. then we drop him/her off before s/he drops us. its ridiculously vicious but its reality, at least on this side of the fence.
it is not the first time, a friend told me he got broken hearted; that he fell for someone whom he had slept with; that despite of our hundred conversations about the boundaries of love and sex, he still falls for it--- he still gets hurt.
some call it being jaded while others call it self preservation.
but the real questions are, when is it going to stop? and when will settling in sinks in?
is it when time drains our youth? is it when desperation starts knocking on our door? or is it when we finally meet our most painful heartbreak?
i want to believe that we should not stop people from making mistakes, from getting hurt and from enjoying what he can but should not do because as raised earlier, it is where we learn and becomes a better person.
but whenever i see, hear and feel people dear to me, crying all his hopes out, i couldn't stop myself from thinking, is this really what they deserve from not or resisting what reality is teaching?
but then again, i realize, how do we actually define mistakes? what if this is just another product of another or larger mistakes? how will we larn and how will we handle it?
there are just too many questions and despite the urgency of answers, what really matters is our own individual calls.