as much as i want to deny this, but by experience, it seemed like the point actually holds true if i am going to compare the relationships between my gay and lesbian friends. i counted and named gay and lesbian friends inside my head and what i found out was these:
generally, among my gay friends, their usual relationships last as fast as overnight to 5 months. although there are still few, which last more than a year or so. but comparing it to the number of my lesbian friends, the fastest i could remember last more than half a year and there were even some, who i knew way back from college, that are still together. one of them is running more than 6years in the record.
sociologically speaking, men, compare to women, are socially reared to believe that virginity and sex is nothing to them, that the burden is all to women, since they don't really have anything to lose nor gain. having this (dis)advantage, men engages to sex more than women do. not to mention, the accessibility and today's mindset towards it, where it is as easy as picking down aratilis fruits all throughout the year.
i remembered, when i did my thesis, i told my adviser that i wanted my study to be emancipatory to my subjects. the first thing she asked me was, is your research indeed leaning to my subject's side? i answered her, no. she said, then, you can't.
but i found my own ways in order to explain such actions. first, repression is one of the factors that greatly affects this kind of behavior. when desire and drives are repressed especially by their own society, these craving intensify in great heights and these people will tend to look for various venues, no matter how unconventional and inconvenient it will be, just to fulfill it. but this is just one point of the entire realization.
last night someone told me that a gay man's life is actually dark. it is dark in order for it to show his humanity.
but i answered him, call me idealistic. but i still believe that its our decisions that turns it dark.
i realized that sometimes, as much as we want to be ideal and believe on people, we need to understand that we simply can't. their emancipation actually depends on themselves alone. there is nothing that we could really do than to show them the "harsh reality" that they too have contributed.
*hoping and believing that everyone deserves to be happy at the end, no matter what decision each one makes.