Saturday, January 31, 2009

the last trip

last night, as the car was dragging me back in makati, there were millions of thoughts radically rushing inside my head. and no, these were not the same depressing nor gloomy thoughts as i used to post in this blog almost every day, pestering you guys---hahaha.

for the first time again, i felt pure happiness, contentment and the simple feeling that i was reaffirmed of myself.

after i met an acquiantance in makati, with nothing else to do, i directly headed to cubao, where friends are waiting for me. it took me almost an hour because of extreme rush hour traffic, where i was forced take the bus, since the waiting line in ayala station was as long as the entire mrt route itself.

when i reached cubao, i immediately texted them and asked where am i going to meet them, che replied back, "stall 39."

i have waited for hours outside having just a stick of cigarette in my hand. the last stick from the pack i have just bought that afternoon, that started my chest to ache. *i never really had the chance to speak to the woman behind the white tapestry. so i just put and found myself in deep contemplation.

i was literally having a symposia within myself. probably the most intense dialogue i ever had.

i was thinking probably this is the best time for me to step up(?) from where i am currently at. feeling all the contentment and the reaffirmation i had from the past five days of my vacation from work. i asked myself,

if i am contended?

definitely i am.

did it served its purpose?
more than i thought it could be.

am i happy?

too happy that i felt that as much as i don't want to end it, there's just this need that tells me that there is no perfect time than now for it my flew away from me again.
then i remembered, kurt cobain.

i realized contentment and figured out the best thing in life comes when you start building courage, stepping up and turning yourself back from nostalgia and enjoying what you currently have.

probably, this is another phase of growing up--- maturing, as they call it. it is a concoction of bitter sweet memories and excitement.

then i thought,

as diaries runs out of pages,
as every trip reaches its destination,
as every road meets its dead end
then so is a commuter from wandering.

wandering not on the wonders outside, but basically on this page he have already called his sanctuary.

as much as i don't want to say this, but yes, my friends i am now, saying my goodbye to this page and giving out my sincerest "thank you" to all of you have spent time to read a part of what i call my life.

its been a wonderful, fruitful and well spent 3 and half years of blogging.

i have expressed a lot of myself, from which i thought i really don't have the courage to do so. i have learned more than what my life could actually offer me from other people's blog and comments. and most of all, i have gained friends out of the risk of unveiling my anonymousity, which i found to be one of the best decisions i made.
but sometimes there are just things that you just have to give up in order to achieve something else right?! nonetheless, i can say its all worth it. again, thank you!

and till we meet again at the crossroads,


ewik- "there are wonders when you wander."

45 comments:

gillboard said...

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

As much as I am happy for your finding contentment with life, I'm sad to read that this'll be your last post... You're one of the few people here who really write something sensible and smart.

Anyway, I think I'll still see you elsewhere here in the blogosphere.

dabo said...

i suggest you remove all your links. at gawin mo lang syang bare.

this is a blog and life well spent pare.

ang blog na ito ay umubos ng oras. oras na wala sa ibang bata, sa mga taong nasa hospital at naghihintay ng kamatayan, mga taong tumanda na sa bilangguan, mga inag nawalay sa kanilang anak.

hay nalulungkot naman ako. sabi ko gagawa ako ng eulogy na may pagka perya ng konti ang theme, kasi ang sarap okrayain ng blog mo eh.

pero sa pagtatapos nito, natutuwa ako na kaibigan kita at hindi lang basta reader mo...pero di din ako natutuwa kasi peste ka na, may pagka antibiotic ka sa buhay namin.
ganun yata pala pag ang isang blogger naging friend mo. best and pest at the same time. hehehe

until the next time pare.


PS: akala ko ala Kurt Cobain ang ending..hay ewik, just as expected.. boring.





Bwahahahaahah!

Bino/Geno said...

:(

Mugen said...

Much as it hurts to see you go, I bid you farewell and Godspeed. Like all journeys, the destination is just the beginning of another journey. The pages of a diary that run out of paper opens a new book to write our stories.

Whereever you find yourself, keep on writing. You have a talent to share to the world.

---

Just to let you know, Kurt Cobain struggled with drugs and with his popularity during his last days. He wasn't able to handle the pressures so he killed himself.

Do not adore such weak person dude.

See you again.

dabo said...

@mugen: but the author of this blog is on drugs. di ko sure kung shoktong or baygon..

Trip said...

langhiya. di pa nga kami nagkikita ng taong ito lalayas na. hehehe. pero tama si dabo, dont delete this blog. tanggalin mo na lang mga links. let this be an archive of life worth of experience.

see u somewhere, somehow, sometime ewik. hehehe

Lance said...

I will never forget that poem that you wrote..I'm glad that you like my translation..heheh

I don't know what to say.. I just basically hate to see you leaving..

adios amigo..

Lance said...

@ewik:
Great! Tagal na tong entry na to, ngayon mo pa nabasa???!!!! hehe

Anyway, goodluck sa iyong mga plans, dude.. wish you all the best.. thanks for the inspiration, honestly ikaw naman talaga nag inspire sa aking para mag start ng blog...

salamat..

seriously....

Bulaang Katotohanan said...

aaaw just when i was stirring myself from a hiatus...

i'll miss your insights and your lovely brain.

Jinjiruks said...

hayz kakalungkot naman na makita na aalis na ang isang blogger sa blogosphere. good luck na lang po. once a blogger will always be a blogger. till we meet again my friend. *sigh*

PUSANG-gala said...

"the waiting line in ayala station was as long as the entire mrt route itself"

----true----

a Korean student once told me she thought the teller is actually listing the names and contact infos of every passenger---keke

PUSANG-gala said...

"the best thing in life comes when you start building courage, stepping up and turning yourself back from nostalgia and enjoying what you currently have."

---again----makes a lot of sense---sorry for quoting you but I thing there's a lot of substance in your post---glad you feel happy. I guess it really is a state of mind~~~~

jamie da vinci! said...

it saddens me that i have another blog less to read...

nova-san said...

Awwww mannnnnn :(

Why do the good writers always have to up and leave???

Well... what can I say... do what makes you happy and what you think is right for you (even as people like me are saddened by your decision to stop writing).

Okay.. did I make you feel guilty enough to change your mind??? :)

But in all seriousness, I wish you the best always. Don't be a stranger! I'll hunt you down in the Philippines! hehehe

odin hood said...

hay nako!nakakainis. ayaw! ewik no huhuhu please dont go... im back na e, tapos na hiatus ko. gumagawa na po ako new post e huhuhu

ewiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikk!!!!

Yj said...

one never stops wandering.... unless you wana stop learning....

thank you for all the witty tips... your time... your words...

ingat lagi....

odin hood said...

cant help but feel na parang nawalan ako ng friend huhuhu

parang may friend na nag-abroad na..

haaay

Toilet Thoughts said...

Mahahanap pa din kita sa kadulu-duluhan ng mundo... o mababangga sa glorieta... hehe.

Sad that no more interesting reads will continue to spurt from this page, I am grateful that at one poin in my life, I was lucky enough to stumble on your blog. Keep in touch.

:P

lucas said...

tsk... nalungkot ako pramis.

you're actually one of the few bloggers that really captures my interest. but anyway, the blog should first serve the author right? so i guess it had lived up to its purpose...

God bless you, mate :)

RJ said...

Whew! Ganu'n ba? =,{

Hindi ko masyadong nakuha ang kwento kasi madalang lang ako rito, pero nakakalungkot namang iiwan mo na itong Wandering Commuter.

Aethen said...

EWIK...NO!!!

I been wandering with you since then. Hay, this blog is a good read. I am happy for you, ewik.

All the best for you.

Fjordan Allego said...

waaahhh!! seryoso? aalis ka na nga? tsk tsk...

kung kelan ako nagbabalik ngayong taon para magbasa-basa sa mga blogs na madalas kong bisitahin noong nakaraang taon, aalis ka na pala.

Kung sa bagay, ang lahat ng bagay ay may katapusan. Pero, kasabay nito, may bagong simula. Para sayo, may panibagong magbubukas na bahagi mo kasabay ng pagsasara ng blog na ito. Another blog? Hehehe...

http://fjordz-hiraya.blogspot.com

Najua Scribbles said...

Curtain Call.

You've been a wonder, wandering commuter.

*applause*

Denis said...

hay i hate goodbyes.

i like ur blog, its organic yet articulate.

tsk

no re-thinking?

muka kasing ur firm about it and seems like ur happy. hmmm well, catch u at YM, i hope

Chyng said...

Seriously?
Well, want to let you know isa ka sa unang nagPRESSURE saken na magsulat at magbloghop. PREMIUM kasi ang dating ng blog mo saken.. Until now naman.

See you sa FACEBOOK! (--,)

the geek said...

i still wish that someday, am going to meet the great wanderer...when the geek will have his wanderlust...

i am sad, but there is happiness in letting go...

God Speed....

amicus said...

oh, wait. i was enjoying this piece then the mood changed. binasa ko uli mula sa simula. hay.

:(

~Kinesics said...

Good luck, Ewik! I will surely miss your posts :) But, I know you'll do great! It was nice sort'a meeting you here...

Here's for you:

You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life and then go out and live it. :)

See you around,
~kinesics

JP aka handyman said...

i don't know you personally, but from what i have read in your articles, you're a sensible and colorful being... it may not seem to you that way, but it is to us.. ingat wandering around!

an ode from thee junkie said...

wander your way back to me. hehehe

i miss you erik

bulitas said...

All the best saan ka man mapapadpad at dalhin ng tadhana!
Salamat sa mga kwento at karanasang ibinahagi mo dito sa blog mo! apir!

bulitas said...

All the best saan ka man mapapadpad at dalhin ng tadhana!
Salamat sa mga kwento at karanasang ibinahagi mo dito sa blog mo! apir!

Mac Callister said...

waaaa bakit aalis ka na?sad naman

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This is a collective effort of several Filipino bloggers located both
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and feel free to express your thoughts and opinions.

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Gardiniere di Cristo said...

I was here!

danielyuson said...

BOMBERO KING:

goodbyes...
are not the end...
but...
see you later..!

Looking For The Source said...

goodluck sa lahat!

i will miss your posts. your stories. your views.

have a great time blogmate!

ingat lagi.

hope to see you sometime!

:)

kalansaycollector said...

dead flowers are for the dead...

sa mga pamamaalam, may pagsisimula rin di ba?

yas.tolentino said...

kung maalala ko, ikaw ang unang nakakita sa blog ko...that was two years ago. i did not expect you will read my thoughts for they are too feeble.i was so young then. ngayon pa din naman. haha

well well well

blogspaces well spent.
journeys well trod.

kudos!
till your road will pave another turn. we're just over the bend. ;)

[Yas]

utoysaves said...

found my way here from Elayas's blog. Too bad youre leaving this blog na. i hope you'd change your mind. or your heart.

God bless!

xxxborgexxx said...

hold it! i'm just getting back to blogging again tapos you're leaving naman? whoah. you don't really have to give up something to get into another thing. most of the time it isn't as complicated as it seems. but yeah, it is your decision after all. wish you all the best, man.

Lawrence said...

well thats a good story! ;-]

- tnx for visiting my blog. nagbago na buhay ko lalu na pati lovelyf ko..... :-[

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