and i am not even 25

when i decided to take social sciences, i never really considered what will i become after graduating. it didn't occur to me if i wanted to be a lawyer, an artist, a teacher, an ambassador or a corporate person. i never thought if this degree will promise me a house, a car or a business of my own. basically, what mattered that day was just to follow what other people and i say, to pursue what i love. and so i did.

while i was in college, i was able to nourish my talents and acquired some other skills that i didn't even know i have. i was able to develop my passion in visual arts and also discovered my caliber both in writing and theater works.

despite the academic loads and extra curricular responsibilities, i can actually say that i really had the time of my life, for each day gave me a sense of fulfillment before i went to sleep. i even remember telling myself that i couldn't wait to continue this in a larger picture, outside college.

so after four years of cultivating the soil of my interests, packed with confidence knowing i have all that it takes (or i thought i was), not to mention that i came from one of the prestigous universities in the country, i decided to go back to the lowlands to practice what i finished.

source

here, i saw myself holding a copy of my three page resume stating all my accomplishments while standing along the busy side walk of ayala avenue. but unlike some fellow graduates that day, i was pretty much confused of where to go: first, for i am not familiar with manila and second, because i just don't know where to try my luck.

so i decided to go online to check for any job openings. i signed up and filled all the necessary information required. by the time i hit submit, the website gave me a list of job openings associated with my references. there were in the fields of education, human resources and call centers. yes, call centers. at first, i never really understood how my degree is associated with the BPO industry. so i crossed it out from my options and went ahead with the first two fields. i even tried advertising and marketing just to have more chances of getting hired; that basically means, more options of which job contract to sign. see, i was really that optimistic before.

one by one, i patiently click every job positions in the list. i thoroughly read the company information, nature of the position and most importantly, the requirements. but as i move from one page to another, i realized that after opening probably a hundred job positions, only a good quarter of it, was i able to send my application. and out of those, only one or two replied back. now, i consider myself lucky if i get three.

afterwards, you'll undergo mindwrecking screening processes, endless interviews, and exhausting long waits, just to know, that you weren't able to make it. tattered and frustrated, you finally realized that you just ended up on the same option that you've actually crossed out--- being a call center agent.

i've worked as a technical support agent for almost three years. ofcourse, the pay and benefits were good. incentives were simply exceptional and i can say that i've learned so much about the corporate operations because of it. aside from these, i was able to send myself in pursuing another degree, buy things i always wanted, go to places i've never been and ofcourse, pay my rent and other dues. basically, i was terrifically starting a life of my own.and eventhough my degree is no way related to my profession, suprisingly, i was considered among one of the outstanding agents of our account.

but despite all of these, i was always the quiet one at work, contrary to who i really am outside. sitting away from other agents, never befriended any coworkers and turned down a number of promotions. for the simple reason, i just don't see myself here, not because i have something against it, but because it was different from what i picture my life will be after college; dynamic, free spirited and fulfilling.

well, i guess life doesn't really give what you want. but still, i chose to pursue it.

i thought, it would be easier for me to move out if i don't have any friends from work. however, it didn't occur to me, that this was not the only reason that would stop me from resigning. it also included giving up the lifestyle i have already adjusted myself into. that is why it actually took me almost three years before i could actually file my resignation. i call it, my complete detachment from taking calls and graveyard shifts.

now, i am free. six months and counting. financially broke, stuck at my room, eternally waiting for my pending applications, but humanistically happy.

but sometimes, especially during my lows, i can't help to catch myself, still wondering and asking: did i actually make a wrong decision of following what i want? if i aspired to much than i should have been? or if i should need to drop everything i was before and face the harsh reality ahead of me, for this is no longer college, that this is actually what life really is?

nevertheless, whatever the answers maybe, i chose to believe that i'll have my own share of life someday and that what really matters is that i took the risk of opting to be happy.