Sunday, November 8, 2009

pangamba ng pag-iisa

ni nestor de guzman

paano sasagutin
ang pangamba ng iba
sa aking pag-iisa?
kung malalaman lang
ang di-lantad kong buhay.
nakalima nang asawa;
ngayo'y limang ulit nang separada.
di kabilang ang nakasintahan
nang kung ilang oras, araw, linggo.
sinamba na't kinahumalingan;
itinuring na ring basahan,
laruan, kasangkapan.
Naging maybahay, kalaguyo't puta.
Ilan nang giliw at muhi,
luwalhati't lumbay
ang isinilang at inaruga.
Kung nag-iisa man ngayon
ay dahil alam na,
at tanggap,
ang uubra't di uubra.
At di na kailangan ng isa
para maramdaman
ang kagandahan ng sarili,
ang kabuuan ng pagkatao,
ang kabuluhan ng buhay.
Kung malalaman lang
kung gaano kakulay
sa dilim at kasukalang nilandas
sa pag-unawa ng pag-iisa.
Ang mahalaga,
natutong magmahal,
nagmamahal ako
at magmamahal.
Ito ang katuturan,
kahit nag-iisa.


note:

that day, after finishing this book, i said loneliness goodbye.




Galing Cine Cafe
Nestor De Guzman
Lambana Press, Quezon City

8 comments:

Dhon said...

> I like! :)

Yj said...

ayan.... para yan sa mga mahihilig!!!

bwahahahahaha

Boying Opaw said...

ang mahalaga ay may natututunan.

odin hood said...

ahmmm

mikel said...

sweet lemon? haha. sige na nga.

citybuoy said...

di ko gets. paexplain.

dabo said...

ang defensive ni boying. lol =)

red the mod said...

It's that fear of waking up one day defeated, conceding to that eventuality that a fate of solitary confinement awaits its mallet's downfall, and the sentence awaits servitude.

That previous transgressions, and the failure to learn what needed to be acknowledged, have led you to this point. Beaten, soiled and utterly broken.

But choice remains, like a conceited ray of egotism struggling against the obvious and self-apparent. Masking the pathetic and sordid with an optimism that, although well-meaning, is a tad too tardy.

At least you learned.

Optimistic despite the absolute. Refusing to succumb to a depression of his own conception. Cold, barren, warped by memories of the lost and the stricken.

Time is the singular companion.