Tuesday, July 13, 2010

who cares?!

finally, i decided to take a walk that night--- alone.

avoiding the thoughts that my room maybe brewing agaion for me. i just find it difficult, nowadays, to digest all the things flying inside my head. its depressing and at the same time paralyzing.

i miss so many things.

i miss my innocence and anonimosity. i miss watching movies, reading and commuting alone. i miss appreciating small and taken for granted details; wondering and weaving stories behind them. i miss talking to myself over a cup of coffee or tea. or probably, i am just missing the old skin that i am currently shedding.

while walking, i just then realized that i have been living here in katipunan for almost four years now. its surprising for someone, who stayed under 12 roofs in baguio during college. i never really stayed in just one place that long.

but over the years, i just noticed how i am fascinated with the oppositions of the place. that despite the long march of high rise buildings and fancy restaurants, its always the shadows behind these luxuries that always grab my attention.

you see, theres no day that i pass by here that i do not cross a taong grasa or vagrant. in fact, i already loss count of their faces. I have already forgotten the names of men and women; old and young; silent and cheerful that i have assigned to each one of them. Unfortunately, just like me before, they've never stayed that long for me to remember them specifically. for they just simply come and go, without any concerns if they will be remembered or not. Thus, there faces eventually molded into a mere solitary figure.

the row of abandoned establishments at the end of the stretch, under the fly over going to katipunan extension, has always been their sanctuary. the place was as dark as their skin and drenching with this distinct musk coming out from their pores. but despite these, the place, most especially them, have remained invisible to everyone. no one was really braved enough to face the pity in their faces.

i remember, one day, seeing random things written in charcoal on each of their sanctuary’s walls. some were numbers, while some were unended stories about various things in this universe. yes, universe. Sometimes, i just catch myself surprised with such big words written there.

i wondered what they really meant. if they were about things they’ve met along their ways, or if they were just mere fragments of their memories or even the sanity that have long forgotten these people. well, it just break my heart to picture them finding their way back to this place again, claiming the only thing that they can call their own, already been washed away.

now, while back reading some of my past entries and writing this post at the same time, i then realized how lucky i am to have these means of keeping my memories. something, that they never really had. if only they can, i bet they can tell us one of the best stories ever been told to man, rather than these petty juvenile concerns that swarm us everyday. oh, if only they could be heard.

but who does? if in this selfless world, people would just refuse to listen, believing that the only things that matter and important, are there own lives revolving around how many times they’ve got laid and how much they have in their accounts.

if only these vagrants can read these notes. i bet, their immediate reactions will also be, who cares?!


paci said...

"voices" often heard are those that are loud. just loud. of course no one would hear a gentle hiss of a snake over a trumpeting elephant though both voices should be heard. i hope more people are listeners.

jace said...

Maybe if you can make them share one of their stories then perhaps you can immortalize it through this. It'd be great, I bet.

wanderingcommuter said...

paci: exactly, thus, we should listen more to those who are not often heard. hard but possible.

jace: actually, im starting to write a chronicle of them. can't help this fascination to them.

davidrockens said...

today is July 13, 2010 and you leave me mesmerize.

nice words. real nice words.

(kapg tinuloy ko pa yung comment ko, maaakusahan mo na naman ako na emo)

wanderingcommuter said...

babe, of course not... huwag mong hadlangan ang sarili mo sa pwedeng sasabihin ng ibang tao. lalo na ako. :)

red the mod said...

An empty barrel makes the most noise. [English Proverb]

orallyours said...

oo nga, what draws you to them? di ba medyo frustrating na you couldn't hear their thoughts

soltero said...

or maybe, u can delve further, work on a mini project, say a documentary of those people :)

iurico said...

This, I think, is the third time you've posted an entry with a theme that circles on "vagrants."

Baka ang calling mo talaga e maging kapalit ni Mother Teresa. you think?! Echos!

canonista said...

I miss being alone too. I miss my melancholic, solitary self. I guess some people are rather happy, alone. I am one of them.

Niel Camhalla said...

I guess if somebody really cared, they would have acted on it and not just word about it.

davidrockens said...

pero babe.. you've been an "antibiotic" to my microbial life.

luckily my resistance keeps up to date when it comes to you.


ןıuǝ oɟ ɟןıƃɥʇ said...

during college, i would also piss in this one particular stall. i wouldn't close the door or touch anything. then, in my senior year, i decided to avoid someone by hiding in that bathroom and i locked the door and low and behold... pages from a porn magazine where glued all over the back of that door. and they had been there for some time. i am still perplexed.

the geek said...

i think the rain brings out the best in you, wiki...

Yas Jayson said...

and the wandering commuter preaches. lol

i could imagine you saying hear ye, hear ye bloggers! stop nonsinsible writings! haha :D

on a serious note, we all have our ways to remember. vegabonds, travelers, gypsies and wanderers alike, be it on walls, barks, papers and internet.

terse words. and as like Anton Ego puts it, Suprise me!

Yas Jayson said...

ponyeta. sinsible kase. haha!

erratum: sensible. teehee

wanderingcommuter said...

red the mod: makes sense, exactly.

orallyours: ewan, i guess, the fascination is drawn out of my personal fear na maging katulad nila. who knows di ba?!

soltero: madami na din kasing gumawa ng docu about them. pero if i will pursue it perhaps i'll be carefully think of a different attack.

iurico: hahaha! sinabi mo pa. actually, its more than three. madami pa. hahaha! mother teresa ka jan! dalai lama naman!

canonista: loner. but the question is 'til when.

niel: NIEEEEEELLLLL!!! i guess the act is defined relatively. and for now, this is the only act i could do so far.

david: nyahahaha! huwatever?! aba. aba at may profile pic ka na din talaga! lol.

lon: i can imagine. nyahaha!

the geek: i guess so too.

davidrockens said...

teh..masyado ng malaki ang tyan ko hehehe..hindi na truth in advertising yung isang pic

wanderingcommuter said...

babe: tsktsk. pareho kayo ng roommate mo, nagpalamon na sa capitalism. hahaha!