Tuesday, July 8, 2008

call me selfish

i hate saying goodbyes to people i am close with, especially when i am forced to do it. there are times when i can't help myself from blaming others: the government, other people and even myself, why someone close have to go abroad. i want to blame the government for putting up such effective advertisements and reinforcements about how nobel being an overseas worker is? i want to blame our society for painting into our mentality, a picture of a greener pasture outside our own. i want to blame our own family, who kept on comparing the lives of other people who went abroad to our own household and how some expect us to go overseas.
but in reality, i can't really blame them since its a decision made by their own volition or worst even forced by the circumstances they are at: poverty or what not.
a couple of days back, i received an invitation from a friend inviting me for dinner. he also informed me that the rest of our peers were also invited and expected to come. and to top it all, it will be his treat. it was quite intriguing since he never threw one before. i even tried checking if there was a special occasion that i have forgot about him. but i don't really remember his birthday being near to mine.
when i arrived at the venue, late as usual, he was already there together with her girl friend (who also happen to be my bedmate way back in college). then the big surprise came in and me being caught off guardedly. he is leaving for dubai on tuesday and i didn't have the chance to persuade or atleast advise him about it. probably. they already know what i am going to say.
yes, i know, my words wouldn't really matter and its only there to widen their idea about things that may come. but as i usually say, its always there call.
i just can't help myself from getting frustrated and furious about the idea.
call me selfish.
but admit it or not, its really hard to lose a close friend or even a relative for that matter over a job abroad. it seemed as if everybody is rushing to go out. while there is a little or close to none who wants to go (back) in. probably before we know it, we're the only one left.
for the record, i already lost more than ten of my closest friends over such promises. some left for singapore, in the middle east, in korea and most in the united states. and what is more aggravating is the fact that, when they promise you that they'll just save up sufficient money and return, its usually the other way around. because the saddest part of such is, once they are already settled with their life, thats the point when they will decide to stay there for good, processed everything and be a citizen.
probably i am just scared of the idea that eventually all of us will be forgotten and left still waiting and holding on to the promise of returning back.

today, someone asked me if i have plans of going abroad.
i smiled and said, probably for vacation. the country is too full of memories to be forgotten.

25 comments:

Mugen said...

Let's build the country together. I don't have plans of leaving.

odin hood said...

id hate to leave this country... pero gusto ko rin maranasan ang buhay sa ibang bansa...

my mom and dad both used to work sa middle east, dun sila nagkakilala at na-inlab... they saved lots of money and went back to pinas, got married at nagtayo ng pamilya... and lived happily ever after sa pilipinas hehe


so maybe someday id leave, but id make sure id come back home, pramis. :)

KRIS JASPER VAN DYKE said...

is it already belated? Didnt knw twas ur bday.. Bad me.. Bad u 4 not telling me in advance as well. Lol.
Anw, i thought b4 that 2 yrs of workng here in the uk would b enuf, and that i'd go home for good.

blackdarkheart said...

yah, mee to im not going anywhere and im not patriotic nor nationalistic pero I feel that kung lalayo ako sa pilipinas, wala kong utang na loob sa bayan naten!
ang resources nten dito ay enough para ipunyagi at i nourish, pero enough nga ba?

Lance said...

I always wanted to go overseas. Many of my relatives were already there. My sister took up nursing and she is, of course, expected to go abroad like every nursing graduate does. But I just wanted to work and experience the rest of the world, and go back here and put up a business or something....

Keitaro Hanazawa said...

I, too, cannot leave the country despite the numerous opportunities that were offered to me. I can't. I just can't. Some of my friends too are in other countries and they are loving it there.

Sad as it may seem, we can't help but be happy for them because they are fulfilling their personal goals. We too have our own personal legends that we need to accomplish be it here or abroad. So, we should try our best to be happy na lang for them.

Isa pa, there are no goodbyes. Only see you later.:D

♥nova-san said...

I don't think it's being selfish. It's more just that you have a hard time letting go of people. I know how you feel. I tend to want to hold on to people for as long as I can, and I hurt badly whenever I feel as though I have been left. But everyone has their own life to live, and we have to respect the paths that people choose. As for the Philippines... I wish I could go back! If money were no factor, I'd be back in a heartbeat. All my immediate family is there - I am the only one here in the States, and it's extremely lonely.

I have found that most people that leave there do eventually come back. It's just a matter of time and how much money that they have saved to go back.

amicus said...

i do not really hate saying goodbyes. what i hate though is being left behind (or leaving someone behind).

gawa tayo ng organisasyon ng mga ayaw umalis ng pinas! :)

and happy birthday. masiyado nang late.

--hug--

mel beckham said...

Ok lang maging selfish, for the right reasons. Lalo na kapag ikaw naman ang directly affected. Think of yourself first. Hihi.

Ang selfish ng comment ko.. =P

dabo said...

you got a lot of comments repa!cheers!!


-- --

Being left behind is really sad, so sad yet people do come and go. Lucky if they left footprints in our hearts.. and they usually do.

Anyway those who go away for reason of money alone should not lash out our country.

If ever they lived or work abroad, make sure they speak highly of our history.. how the young and the old die fighting for Manila, Bataan or Corregidor.

I think imagining Philippines being rape during the necessary but unwanted foreign occupations, blood shedding, arms and heads being amputated, hearts and souls falling to knees while staring at sky are enough reasons why we should be proud being Filipinos.. Wherever they go.

If not for those who die here the landscape of America, Australia, Europe and the rest of the world would be different.

Niel Camhalla said...

Hmpf! Baka mauna ka pa umalis ha.

Dapat walang iwanan...

cobe said...

I always ask people why did you want to leave the Philippines and I get the usual, "life's better over here" or "there are more opportunities here." As for me I can't wait to leave for the Philippines.

the menace said...

i feel for u

Josh of Arabia said...

iunderstand your emotions, i was just like you till i live my life abroad for 10 years..and my overseas experiences has changed me. (im in dubai right now)

ps: cant see my name in ur roll, i am wandering if i am removed..

jst give me a buzz, and rgds.

dazedblu* said...

If our government only knew.. we have the resources here, but those ppl doesn't support our own.

How I wish we grant the luck para makatulong sa bansa naten, in fact iilan lang naman tayo nakaka-appreciate sa bansa naten because of this.

But on the othr, i don' think naman na kawalan ng utang na loob ang pag-alis sa bansa. It just happened na yun na lang ang natitirang opportunities ng ilan sa aten... :)

Anyways, sometimes i feel tht also, di nman selfishness yun eh, mahirap lang talagang mag-let go sa mga taong mahal mo.

Gush, drama noh! :)

Bino/Geno said...

Awwww. I was saddened too when my ex told me he wants to go to Saudi. sheeesss.

jericho said...

working with OFWs I can say that they are one of the most selfless people I've ever met. Everyone dreams of coming home for good. Many say it so many times until ma-realize nila na isang dekada na pala sila dito. May iba na for good na talaga. Marami din ang for good lang for a while. Hay ... an endless cycle.

my-so-called-Quest said...

having the same situation as well.
most of my high school friends are living and working abroad now. at 2na lang kaming naiwan dito.
mas masakit when my best buddy and my best friend muning went abroad. umiiyak ako nun habang pauwi ng dorm. drama diba? haha

partly selfish kasi things could have been easier for me kung nandito sila.

pero naisip ko naman, babalik rin sila dito and when that day comes for sure it will be one of the best days. tama ba? and imagine ung sacrifice nila dun while tayo are having little benifits of staying here.

nga pala, di rin ako aalis ng pinas, magbabakasyon din lang=]

CaleB said...

All i can say is to never lose hope that the philippines will one day be one of the most progressive countries in the world.. at magbabalikan yang mga yan para umuwi at dito magsettle.. at makaka-apekto ito ng matindi sa buong mundo.. titigil ang mundo sandali.. pwamis.. hihi..

wanderingcommuter said...

cobe: well good for you dude. probably, its just inate for people to fancy or desire things outside what s/he is currently at. in addition, probably man is indeed uncontended by nature.
or its just really the circumstance that pushes one to do so.

niel: i promise...wala talaga...

dabo: siguro nga leaving is a fact that we need to start accepting. it is an evitable thing anchored with change and our perpetual quest for development.
i must agree. people should not always carry out the reason of money in leaving. but probably like any other event in our lives. there will come a point that we'll be faced with the reality of practicality over principle.
i just hate it whenever i realize all of these after reading your comments guys. but don't get me wrong i really appreciate it.
don't you consider being a historian as well, kuya dabo?

mel: oo nga pero in a way it indeed justify selfishness. hahaha.

amicus: hmmm. thats actually another good thing to look at it. hahaha. naku, amicus, hidni pa man tayo nakakapag organisa, nalusaw na agad tayo ng poea at ng gobyerno.. hehehe.

novasan: i am actually expecting that comment from you, nova and i am indeed recognizing that fact in me. probably, its just this behavior how people to tend to look for reasons and things to associate their frustrations toward the nearest factor possible to justify an emotion. nonetheless, you are absolutely correct its a matter of respecting and at most supporting whatever decision one will take, especially if its someone near to your heart.

keitaro: Isa pa, there are no goodbyes. Only see you later.:D
you have basically sum it up, dude! kudos

lance: probably its just that some people forget about returning back. and this is something that we need to accentuate.

blackheart: thats the big question nga lang. dagdagan mo pa ng tanong na praticality or principle?

kj: and how long have you been there again?

odin: yeah me too but probably just for travelling or studying... uy, maghahanap ng lovelife sa ibang bansa...hahaha! goodluck!
pwamis yan ha?!!!

mugen: looking at it in a different perspective, its actually a good thing as well aside from the dollar remittance, its also helping us in the country's population explosion problem. just imagine if there are no OCWs, there will be a massive food shortage problem, poverty etc.

enrico said...

makiki-epal lang khit stranger ako dito. Abt the second or third to the last line of this blog, you said that you might eventually be forgotten. People may not call or see you but I'm sure there is always a time that they think and remember you. Every person we meet leaves a mark in our lives. It's true that it's hard to leave memories behind. But memories are not stored in pictures or actual landmarks. These things or places may eventually perish. But the memories remain in the hearts and minds of the people who experienced them. Baon nila yun pag alis nila. And if you think nkakalimutan ka na nila, kaw na yung mag reach out. :9

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Ely said...

well, 9 out of 10 friends of mine are already working abroad, and i wanna join them very soon. can't wait to leave the Philippines too!

Rio said...

kakalungkot nga talga isipin kung may mga aalis na malapit sa ating buhay para lamang guminhawa ang buhay...tsk tsk tsk...cno ba tlga ang dapat sisihin??
ako din ay may balak mag ibang bansa pero kailanagan ko pa ng matinding rason sa buhay kung dapat ko nga bang ituloy...=)

the donG said...

i think you are just proving them of how valuable they are to you.

i also have plans to go abroad but not for now. im happy roaming the philippines.