taguanpung

naala ko noong bata ako, hari ng tagu-taguan ang turing sa akin. ako kasi ang pinakamahusay sa aming magkakaibigan kapag naglalaro kami nito. kung di ako nagkakamali, madalang lamang akong nagiging taya. kundi lang talo sa pompyang, marahil di ko man mararanasan ang maghanap at lagi lamang ako'ng nagtatago.

naging kilala kaming magakakaibigan dahil sa larong ito. kadalasan, maraming mga bata ang dumadayo pa mula sa iba't-ibang phase at kalye ng aming subdibisyon para lamang hamunin kami. walang isang litrong coke o pera-perang pustahan. sa murang isip, na ngayon ko lamang napagtanto, batid na rin pala namin ang ibig sabihin ng kasikatan at karalangan ng mga panahong yun, social prestige ika nga nila.

sa mga larong ganito, hindi lamang iisang tao ang taya. isang buong grupo ang sama-samang naghahanap at isang pangkat rin naman ang nagtutulungang magtago. habang ang grupo ng mga taya ay buong tiyagang ginagalugad ang bawat lugar na pwedeng pagtaguan, ang kabila naman ay pilit na sinisiksik ang mga sarili sa kaliit-liitang espasyo na makikita nila. siyempre kapag ang kalaban ang taya, ako ang kadalasang pag-asa ng aming grupo upang hindi makita at makarating sa base ng kalaban. mula doon, nagkakaroon na naman kami ng pagkakataong magtago muli. laos ang kalaban.

kalimitan, inaabot na kami ng gabi sa kalalaro. madalas pa nga ay sumusuko na lamang ang mga humahamong grupo at umuuwi. may mga pagkakataon pa'ng hindi man lamang sila nakapaghanap at buong oras na taya.

isang araw bago nalaos ang tagu-taguan ng taong iyon at nauso naman ang teks, isang grupo ang nakipaglaro sa amin mula sa kasunod na phase. kilalang mayayabang ang mga magkakaibigang ito. siyempre pinaunlakan namin. sa sandaling yun, naramdaman ko ang pagkasabik ng bawat isa na lampusin ang mga hambog na grupong ito. yung tipo ng pakiramdam na napapanood mo lamang sa tv, tulad ng slam dunk at eyeshield21. sa sandaling yun, sinabi ko sa sariling dapat hindi ako mahanap ng mga taong ito.

kungsaan saan ako nagtatago nuong araw na iyon. sa mga lugar na hindi maiisip ninuman pagtaguan. umaakyat ako sa mga matataas na bakod ng aming mga kapitbahay, sa ilalim ng mga silong ng imburnal, sa tuktok ng mga puno ng aratilis hanggang sa mga sumusunod na subdibisyon. dahil dito nakabisado ko na rin ang mga pasikot-sikot ng aming subdibisyon tulad ng aking mga palad. sa likod ng clubhouse ng kabilang subdibisyon ang uling lugar na aking pinagtaguan. doon, matiyaga ko'ng hinintay ang mga taya o mga kaibigan ko. nanatili lamang ako sa ganung posisyon sa napakahabang panahon. hindi ko na nga matanadaan kung gaano ako katagal naghihintay doon sa ganong posisyon.

inaabot na ako ng gabi sa lugar na iyon. subalit walang bakas ng kahit sinuman na aking mga kalaro ang dumating. nagsiuwian na rin ang mga bata na naglalaro sa clubhouse ng subdibisyong aking pinagtataguan. sa sandaling yun, naisip ko na lamang na ako na lang mag-isa ang natira. tanging ang nakakabinging at walang patid na paghuni ng mga kuliglig ang kumukulit sa aking pandinig. biglaan ang pagbabago ng kanina'y matao at maingay na lugar hanggang sa isang malawak na parang na kahit ang pagkilos ng hangin ay hindi gumagalaw. napawi ang tingkad ng mga magagalak na liwanag at napalitan ng mga nagmamadamot na mainit na ilaw.
doon, sa kauna-unahang pagkakataon, nagpakilala sa aking ang pangungulila.

umuwi ako ng bahay mag-isa ng gabing yun. walang kasamang kahit isang kaibigan na pwedeng pagkwentuhan ng mga lugar na aking pinagtaguan. kung paano ko nagawang hindi makita ng isa sa mga taya ng muntik itong napadaan sa lugar na aking napagtaguan. at kung ano marahil ang itsura ng mga mayayaba at talunang mga bata.

nang marating ko ang aming kalye, wala ng mga batang nasa lansangan. maging ang mga kaibigan ko ay nagsiuwian na rin sa kani-kanilang bahay. naisip ko'ng marahil sumuko na ang mga kalaban ng hindi nila ako natagpuan. at siguro kinailangan na rin ng mga kaibigan ko'ng bumalik sa kanila ng hindi na nila ako nahintay.

tuluyan akong tumamlay sa aking pagkakatayo sa bungad ng aming kalye. pakiwari ko'y unti-unting nalulusaw ang galak na kanina ko pa tinatago at gustong sabihin sa aking mga kaibigan. sa sandaling yun, tuluyan ko ng inalis ang pagkasabik sa paglaro ng tagu-taguan. sinabi ko sa sarili na hindi na muli ako magtatago, dahil malungkot magtago.

kinabukasan, natutunan ko'ng maglaro ng teks. hindi man limang dangkal ang akin tulad ng mayamang bata sa kabilang kalye, naging masaya pa rin ako dahil nagkaroon ako ng maswerteng pamato na may larawan ni goten at trunks na nagfufusion teknik sa loob.

(today, i thought of writing a post in filipino)

grab a copy: kuliti

'kuliti'

an intriguing compilation of short stories,

that tackles about the narratives of filipino life,

religion, incests, homosexuality,

romance, sex and modernity.

such mental treat.

leave me a comment on how to get one

brainstorming a script

i've got these pictures from a mall in quezon city. while there was an ongoing mall tour or event. on the second floor, the security personnel swarmed the entire floor.
since i can't think of something to write about, just for fun, lets play a game.

below are the pictures i have taken. simply, fill in the dialogues to create a wonderful conversation. its that easy.

well, i have ideas of my own. let's see if most people are thinking the same thing i am thinking about these stolen shots.

scene: (fill in a narration)

scene2: (fill in a description)

manong1 (left guy): (fill in dialogue)

manong2 (right guy): (fill in dialogue)

manong1: (fill in dialogue)

(fill in ending line).

let's see how creative your mind could be.

mrt mania

before, i have never understood how vicious riding the MRT could be until i was transfered in another work shift.

there would probably a million and one complaints and stories i have heard and read among my friends and blogs i have visited about riding the transit.

commonly, it would be how busy, irritating and compact things could be inside those carts, especially during the peak hours. one good example was what my land lord informed me the other day; that my housemate, jasper lost his mobile phone inside of it. and the surprising thing about it was the cart was half empty and it was even not within the peak hours. i thought, probably he lost it somewhere else. but if he claims that it happened inside the MRT. then i am thinking probably nothing is impossible inside it.

among the blogs that i have read, the titilating stories on how people could be so adventurous, risks and opportunity takers among their MRT rides: being sexual stories would be the top of the list (no name dropping guys. don't worry) would probably support my assumption.

but so far, among the around 8 in the morning rides i have had, the experiences like my arm almost being detached, the struggle of stepping out a station just to know it was a station after the intended station and the dignity-wrecking-standing/riding positions are just the things i have to offer.

i have never thought that the entire MRT experiences and stories i have heard are these brutal. since before, i usually ride the MRT between 2 to 3 in the afternoon going to cubao and early morning going to quezon avenue. thus, the volume of passengers going to cubao isn't that big becasue it is not the within the rush hours. while the same principle applies coming from cubao since the mass volume of the entire MRT passengers generally go off on this station.

it is also the very reason why i am more comfortable working within quezon city compare to areas of makati and ortigas. the mere thought of struggling against hundreds of passengers as if trying to escape a burning building was beyond my league. in addition, the traffic jame and/or the taxi fare that would cost is really unbearable. but now, because of my new schedule, it is preparing me to finally experience and equip myself with the appropriate attitude in order to survive the busy and snobbish metropolitan life.

i miss baguio.

drinking spree

for the past days, everything seemed to be in slow-mo. i am beginning to be so stubborn in going out, meeting friends, going to the gym or basically the usual things i used to do before.. there were times when i wish i am back in school again. despite being a stress sponge that time, managing both law school and work, i could firmly say that i am missing it. simply because of the very idea that atleast i am doing something worthwhile. the feeling of being so unproductive is killing me right this moment. thinking that days quickly pass with me just watching tv shows, dvds and surfing the net (in which i still can't manage to update my blog). thus, the fear on the question that if i am going to go back to school again while working, will i still be able to manage my time and self better? better, since the very reason of filing a leave for school was to have a break and better perform once i go back: without thinking that i might get used of just working.
friday, 11:00pm

last week, i had a weekend-long drinking marathon. first, it was with my best friend with his girlfriend here in tomas morato. the challenging part of it was i have my shift that time. i just logged in at work and then went straight to them. we finished a bucket. then decided to call it a night. the sound of termination if i am caught was haunting my ears. fortunately, the roll of mint candies that i kept on chewing saved my ass from the suspicious nose of my boss.
saturday, 5:00am
after my shift which ended up early morning, my officemates decided to drop by a nearby bar. and being the polite and ever-friendly me, i joined them. only the cashier knew how many buckets of beer and pulutan we had. we ended with our eyes closing and alcohol kicking us hard.
saturday, 3:30pm

i already woke up around late afternoon when one of my blockmates reminded me that we'll have to meet by 5 in the afternoon for our blockmates' birthday party which was in south bay, paranaque.
i forcely bragged myself to get up and fix. since it had been a long time since i met these folks, i could not convince myself to say 'pass'. what i didn't know, it was actually an over-night party and i didn't bring anything with me: just me and my aching head because of the last night's hang over.
knowing these guys, it would be another drinking up to the last man standing.since, i had already brought them down during the previous sessions. everybody was aiming in bringing me down that night. they wish!
after the party's dinner, which was extremely tasty and fabulous (thanks rich and charles!), we had overflowing cases of beer, unlimited packs of cigarettes, bottles of vodkas and a box of black label proudly towering in the middle of the table.
the night went through and bodies began to drop. but the cases of beer keeps on coming unendingly. a number of my pals were really acting and behaving weirder and weirder each time. good thing nobody cried and ask 'pangit ba ako? bakit wala pa akong boy/girlfriend?' but people began dancing oddly for the first time. some were blubbering and walking in a very strange manner. sounds of crashing bottles and glasses echoed the place once in a while.
but despite all of these, no one would want to surrender.
sunday, 11:00am
the next morning, tension and confusion of everyone was felt as consciousness and rationality slowly subside to everyone. as usual, i was one of the few who have become the storytellers of what happened the other night (as usual---yabang!).
sunday, 4:30pm
it was already late afternoon when everyone decided to go home. but we went first to big apple to grab a slice of pizza.
sunday, 6:00pm

and by the time i arrived home, i remembered it was that night that i have promised a friend from baguio a favor in exchange of a drinking spree blow out together with other baguio friends who were already here in manila. again, being a man of my word also, i just took a bath, waved a taxi and went to a place along up village.
in the place, i said to myself i am only going to have two bottles for that session. but my being kaladkarin pushed me to have three, four, and more bottles that i eventually became numb in the effect of the previous intake i had.
when the night ended, i realize two things: first, the feeling of having companions and the moments we have shared on those drinking sessions as well as the memories it entailed, push me more in going back to school again by the next semester. for now, it would not really matter how stressful or demanding things could be again nor sacrificing nice sleep. for the value of having companions in which you could fool around or talk about deep and serious things was something more precious than having unproductive days and nights.
lastly, no more drinking for the moment. atleast for the rest of the week.

introspection

everything is not a matter of default
we live with our choices
of who or what we are and fancy
of when and where we stand

no one could tell us what is right or wrong
for excuses of fate or tradition
because we are all opt for change
and rights equipped on our wombs

we are tenants of the moment
of a time that would never be ours
of a world that would never wait
and a life that costs us a lot

we live for ourselves to others
and not for others to ourselves
in which, we strive like a battle of spiders
suspended in thin sheet of air---
blown by the wind most of the time

it would not really matter,
if you were knocked hard down the ground
for the struggle always begin
when you begin crawling back up

so take the strike for nobody knows
when will everything stop

snapshots

i have tried taking some shots in up diliman out of boredom. these are by the way long and stolen shots.

waiting

fashion deviance

fucking the norm

cat fight

nadaanan-nasalisihan

huli ka!

boy and car

tambayan

huh?

celebrating(?) childhood at jollibee

last night, while thinking of a place to have dinner, i have decided to savor my childhood days by going to jollibee in katipunan. i remember when i was a child, i always thought that toy shops were torture chambers. while jollibee was the delightful heaven for little children. a wonderful haven, that it was my childhood belief that no child haven't been to jollibee once in there life and jollibee should always be a part of everyone's happiest childhood memories. but it was just tonight that i realized i was wrong.
before, it was always a dream to celebrate my birthday in class and for me, it should always be JOLLIBEE. but the very reason why it was a dream is because it really never happened.
however, i still had my own taste and wonderful memories of jollibee in me. whenever i get a star from my teacher, it would be automatic for my mom that we stop over jollibee first before heading home, as a form of reward.
jollihotdog was always my favorite and up to now, i really find it weird for kids to love chicken joy. what's with the gravy that some would actually dine it with rice eventhough the chicken is already through: or is it aga muhlach? i don't know but i am not really a fried chicken person.
anyhow, that night, the so thought childhood reminscing dinner was strucked and changed with a hard, heart-aching realization that not all children had their share of such memories.
since i was alone that time, i have decided to take the only available table along the windows. eventhough i am not really fond of eating while other people are passing through on my side and i find it really uncomfortable, i've still placed my tray there. then, i saw a little girl holding what i believe was her younger brother sharing a handful of plain rice wrapped in a jollibee paper wrap.
no gravy. no chicken--- just plain rice.

i just thought if eating outside with a handful of plain rice probably given by one of the crew or a generous(?) customer being shared to a younger siblings to go through the entire day's meals, a pleasant memory to reminisce once these kids grew up? it actually breaks my heart staring at them. those innocent eyes staring to you was beyond being cliche. it is something no research or literature could ever describe to you. it is something that speaks to your heart, shakes your ideology and crumbles your conscience.
unfortunately, our initial tendencies to these are to blame the situation to others.
blame it to their parents, for bearing them without planning if they could cross them to a better life. if they could give them a warm and secured home, noursishing food or atleast a good education.
blame it to the government, for being negligent to their people. by not giving or supporting them a better life based from their rights as secured to them by the very constitution the goverment is ought to follow.
blame it to technology for being so expensive. in which, many people could not afford it. hence they opt to something more convenient and cheaper.
but have you ever thought of blaming yourself because of lack of any initiatives of acting unto the problem? have you ever thought of doing things on your own capacities to atleast minimize such? have you ever thought os stopping the blames and start doing something for it?
after dinner, when i was about to pass the door and hand over a meal, they just disappear from the spot where i saw them.