Monday, August 27, 2007

dilemna

countless times that we have experienced falling in love with our friends or heard it to almost every person we knew. some stories ended up more than our notion of a happy ending story. while some close up with a heavy sigh and deep regrets.
almost everyone, once in their lives, experienced this dilemna. how would you know if it is really love? or how would you find out if its pure friendship? is there really a visible boundary between the two? and what are you going to do if you have failed to recognize it?
personally, i really think this is just normal as seawaves crossing and slashing nearby seashores. sometimes emotional investments attached into deep friendships have the natural tendencies to be misinterpreted as something romantic or sexual in context or could be a strong foundation of probably one of the best romantic relationships any man could have.
it begins with questioning one self, starting with the WHYs: why is it i feel unexplainable and overwhelming happiness when i am with him/her? why is it i feel so comfortable and at ease with his/her company, as if i could not hide anything from him/her? why is it i always look for him/her at times when i need company? why is it he or she is at the top of my priority to call to?
then it all leads to the question of WHAT IFs: what if i push our friendship into something romantic? what if she would s/he accept my proposal? what if she would not accept it? what if i couldn't contain the emotions that i am feeling toward him/her anymore? what if i take the risk?
at the end, it all goes to the final and the hardest question to answer, WHAT WILL I DO?

first, know yourself. on this situation, looking for you're worst enemy would only lead you to your self and the best tactic to overcome it is knowing yourself thoroughly. reminiscing and understanding your past romantic patterns would really help. it would also be necessary for previous infatuation and flirtation experiences. in order for you to know and understand the feeling that you are experiencing.

second, clearly define the boundary of friendship and love. at first, it would be natural to feel difficulties to identify, enumerate or elaborate each elements. not to mention the abstract nature of both friendship and love. but


third, think ahead. try imagining the both of you ahead of the time. then ask yourself if it would be better for you picturing it the both of you as friends or as lovers. there are only two possible endings for this story.

*the 'martyr': you maintain your good friendship with him/her. but with a discontented heart.
**the 'lucky one': you remain as good friends and you were able to push your friendship romantically. then you'll live happily ever after.
***the 'kill me, please': you lose your friendship with him/her and you're chance of expressing your feelings to him/her. but you still remain civil, atleast.
****the 'i'm dead!': you lose the friendship. then you're friend begins moving away from you.

fourth, test the friend. the best method to know the outcome is to experiment. try teasing the subject by giving hypothetical situations with not really exact premises. just for him/her not to get any hints about it. from that it would be a good launching point of what to do next.

and lastly, gather enough luck and acceptance as you could get for any outcome that may occur. sometimes it could be the best weapon for these kinds of situations.

8 comments:

blogadikted said...

i plead "guilty"........

wanderingcommuter said...

huwag ka mag alala reigh, hindi ka nag iisa. hahaha

theTripper said...

huwag kaya pumatol sa kaibigan. "kaya" talaga iyan hindi "kayo". hehehe

Nice said...

ouch! tinamaan naman ako... hahaha! nakarelate ako. know why? kasi lahat ng WHYs, WHAT IFs and WHAT WILL I DOs na yan eh napagdaanan at nagawa ko na yata. Hmmmm... but I failed. But I'm glad the friendship remained.

One thing's for sure, "This, too, shall pass."

wanderingcommuter said...

thetripper: "kaya" nga...

nice: hehehe. i am happy to hear that lahat naman siguro tayo napagdaanan ito.

redlan said...

nakarelate ako sa post na to. mas stronger ang friendship keysa akin. but it's better pag friendship to lovers than lovers become friends.

.: jackie :. said...

guilty din. nyahahaha

wanderingcommuter said...

naku andami naman palang guilty. pasensiya na. wala naman po akong intensyon patamaan kayo. hehehe