Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Falling (In/Out of) Love

*disclaimer: this post is not related with my personal life... defensive?! hahaha! i thank you!

recently, i have realized that falling out of love is probably the most difficult reason in breaking up. it is hard to explain since words fail simply because you can't concretize your reasons. there is even no perfect analogy to bring it up for the thought of it is as abstract as the origin of the relationship itself. some even wish that is caused by another person, a fatal mistake or lack on either party. for such it is easier explained than elaborating something that you have already lost or even haven't acquired in the first place.

You were the dream I hoped to see whenever I wake up before.

imagine. you waking up one morning, thinking that things are no longer working out for the both of you anymore. we could actually atest to this, for atleast once in our lives, somehow this had happened. you are no longer happy neither growing with your partner. and worst, you see your relationship more of a burden rather than something you enjoy and value. it can happen so fast that you don't even have the chance to prepare yourself for it.

We promised to break barriers and to make a difference. It was a smile of relief.

but the point of the matter is, how would you bring it up to your partner? would you think s/he would clearly understand the idea if you'll just simply lay your cards on the table and say that you don't love him/her anymore? would you even consider this as a fair game between the both of you? because of the simple reason, that such thing happens and feelings can abruptly fade away?

yes, there is such a thing as falling out of love. and sadly, this can also happen to anyone of us especially at times when expectations are not met or the spice, challenge and even the thrill is no longer present in the relationship. inshort, no one is excempted. it is only us who creates either the prevention or cure for it.

Ganun lang ba talaga kadaling bumitaw?

i believe that the mind works in a very complicated way and so is our emotions. usually, when the emotion is confuse, it is actually our rationality that attends to it: identifies, elaborates, interprets and even decides. on the other hand, when it is our mind that fails us, we resort to our instincts in order to come up with a decision. but what if both shut down in the middle of nowhere, is there a part in us that serves as a back up for them?

this is where the problem arises.

Alam ko'ng mahirap din ito para sa iyo.

all species copes in order to survive regardless how sensible or harsh the means could be. but in this case, most of the times, the ends don't necessarily justify the means.

for some, they resort in engaging with other people in order to suffice the need. ontheotherhand, realizing the value of his/her partner or perhaps to truly discover one's self.

while some don't have the guts to be honest. so they are force to hurt their partners in order for them to cultivate anger, making detachment much easier.

but for most of these people, the process of composing and verbalizing the actual thought of falling out of love is very difficult that they usually end up either paralyzed or short tounged with the idea of confessing: for the feeling of absence is abstract.

to wrap things up, falling out of love is nobody's fault. just like any unexpected things in our lives, it emerge at times when we least expect them: when our guards are down and we are in our most vulnerable state. thus, it is more hurtfully difficult.

for me, it is inevitable for someone to get hurt once s/he entered a relationship. if you don't want to inflict or get hurt, then its better not to fall inlove at all.

such actions will never be enough to define who or what a person is. people will always have their own judgement over others simply because of a certain story, from who and how they've heard it. thus, making it their story.

Salamat at Sayang...

at the end, all of us are slaves of our own motivations, desires, dreams and happiness. but the saddest part of it, is when we realize we are actually serving no one.

32 comments:

Tristan Tan said...

Oh.

the geek said...

*sigh*

Doc Mike said...

ouch

wanderingcommuter said...

wait, uso ba ang mga one word comment lately? nyahahaha!

line of flight said...

facing life's sufferings honestly and completely is the antidote to the bondage of autonomous complexes running our lives.

lucas said...

sulit na sulit ang pagbabasa ko nito. walang nasayang na salita, mr. ewik! whew! i'm recommending this one to a friend (and to myself?hahaha!)

Knox Galen said...

When our partners fall out of love, we should be mature enough to let go and move on.

A love lost, is a love gained, maybe in a near future.

gillboard said...

Thats the sad truth about loving, minsan magugulat na lang tayo wala na yung unang naramdaman natin sa partner natin.

DN said...

Love moves in mysterious ways...

Theo Martin said...

yeah. that's all i can say.

Yj said...

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahm.......

Kiks said...

i digress.

i think when someone falls out of live, may dahilan.

and if that (sh)it happens, he has to be honest with the partner and tell that there is something that they need to work out.

being a relationship newbie, i know how it feels to lose that touch after the honeymoon stage is over and done with.

is the 3month thingie just like any other one-hour stand?

both have to be mature. and things need to be done quite maturely.

and walking out of the door after saying you have fallen out of love, simply, is not.

Turismoboi said...

hay!

♥nova-san said...

I had a relationship once where he broke up with me out of the blue. I kept beating myself up, thinking of all the different possible reasons why he broke up with me and if I somehow did something wrong. I even asked his friend about it, and his friend simply said,"There is no rhyme or reason to love." It was such a simple statement but it hit me so directly.

Just like there is no rhyme or reason when you fall in love with someone, there is similarly no rhyme or reason sometimes in falling out of love.

The heart just does what it wants, and the head (reasoning) just has to figure it out.

MkSurf8 said...

i agree with Kiks.

"falling out" emanates from something. it just doesn't happen at a snap nor you just wake one morning and the love is lost.

sa ganang akin lang po ;p

Jake said...

'Tang ama.

cb :: 林偉文 said...

how sad. it's true but it's also sad. there's an aqualung song called falling out of love. really reminds me of this post.

i think if it has some to the point where neither you nor your parnter are happy, it's time to let go so you can both find your bliss. and if you're really meant to be together, there's nothing that will stop you both from running back into each other's arms afterwards.

wow. keso.

Luis Batchoy said...

I agrre with kiks... we dont just falkl out as much as we don t just fall in ... there has to e a compellin reasos. So much so, that falling out is actually more complicated ecause of the presence of an 'US' as compared to falling in, where's there's only the 'YOU' that you need to deal with. I further agree, that when this happens, we need to asses and work things out with our partners, dealing with the real reason of love's withering, as much as we give thought and treasure it's blossoming. that's the ideal and mature thing to do, but then again, there's a world of difference between ideal and real. That's just me perhaps, but in a world where hearts are broken every now and then, says Regine, it all boils down to emotioal maturity and EQ.

Whatever which way, much like falling in love, falling out is a wonderful wonderful phase avid process too...

chong go said...

hays.. kelan kaya magkakakalyo puso ko sa mga ganitong isyu. sana pwede bilhin ang indifference..

angel-o said...

.,haizzz PAG-IBIG!... :)

Chyng said...

LIKE! (parang sa FB)

I dont think someone will be surprised about waking up one day na wala na yung love. Of course, you'll see the signs.

share:

I would like to share with you, my favorite breakup line of all time, delivered to me when I was dumped: "It's not you...it's not me either! It's just a mismatch!"

Sure it's funny but there is a lot of truth in that classic breakup line. Im sure you are both wonderful individuals. It's just that you are not wonderful as a pair. 1+1=2, that's logic but 1+1=1, there's your miracle.

(--,)

KRIS JASPER said...

Im sure you've learned from that experience. You're still young, who knows, later on it might be that same person still...

line of flight said...

I agree with cb.

<*period*>; said...

kaya love kita sobra..nakuha mong isulat ang gusto kong sabihin..lam mo, sapul yang post mo,,yan ang nararamdaman ko,,,kaso, hindi ako yung na fall out of love..ako yung idinump...ninamnam ko rin ang sagot ni kiks, kaya medyo nagigising na ako sa katangahan ko

[dazedblu] said...

panalo, emo award of the season.. lolz, but these words does says a lot, as in a lot. :)

[sigh]

[dazedblu] said...

Hey ewik, heppy 4OJ. xD

kiel estrella said...

gusto ko yung idea ng saluhan ng heart and mind. well said.

problema lang sa experience ko, nagco-compete sila palagi, haha.

pero what's with the disclaimer? surely something so heartfelt comes from a personal space?

Victor Gregor said...

uh, i dont know. it actually is easy to let go. for me. the rush of vertigo, you know. then once i hit the ground, that's when everything starts to break into pieces.

Dagger Deeds said...

Wow. I've never broken someone else's heart before. This is really interesting.

Anonymous said...

Love is such a strong energy. It can never really be destroyed, only transfered. Minsan multiplied, added, divided etc.

So when someone falls out of love, I'd say, they'll move on soon, and find that new person to love again.

Love is everywhere.

Smile!!!!!

--- care bear

Kane said...

I think there is a need to differentiate "falling in love with someone" from "loving someone".

Falling in love is an emotion, while to love is a decision. Which means that even if the emotion has dwindled, you can still choose to love your partner.

Emotions are volatile; they grow, expand, change, bloom, die. But what should be unwavering amid all those changes is your commitment to love your partner. Easier said than done, true, but it can be done.

Unless, as you point out, you choose to be a slave. After all, a slave is a slave because he is not free. We are free.

Muffie Shannen said...

falling out of love is a decision, you will never come to that point unless you had made that..

sad nga lang for both parties pero you have no choice to tell it kaysa nman both of you will suffer..