deeper mark

it was that night,
when i thought that the silence
between us will be clearer
but when you stood up from bed the next day,
without looking back,
i then realized that it was still a dream
i kept on believing

the picture was clearer
than any of the illusions,
of any dreams that i ever had

my arms at the back of your head
while my right hand on your proud chest,
my cheek hiding on your strong back
as my lips were stealing chances

then i suddenly felt your grip
stronger than i ever thought it could be
it guided my arms and slip on the widest of your body
as it began to beg for warmth

if only it could leave a mark on my arm
so that i could prove to you that,
in the most vulnerable moment of your life,
you held on me
during your darkest and most fearful hours,
i was there

but by the time the sun rises,
the most selfish part of me ends.
you'll lit a cigarette,
dressed up and left the room

no words,
no gestures,
no goodbyes

the way it has always been

all that you had left of me,

a deeper and hidden mark
that means nothing to you
but everything for me


if only you could see that mark.