i BARE it all

basically, bare is your typical highschool musical, "gay"-er version. it is composed of more or less 11 songs and around 20 characters. the play was first shown in the us and was adapted by the ateneo blue repertoire.
for me, the play was not simply your typical coming-of-age story of two teenagers loving each other and how tragedy struck their illicit affair, nor how each of them were intertwined with each other's issues, it was the story of how dogmatic some of us are in interpreting our religion. how most people keep on putting themselves above the rest and most of all, how we keep on denying to ourselves the life and happiness we ought to live.

as one of the line goes, "each of us has a bender inside."
we bend upon to other people's wishes, restrictions, rules and beliefs, that we fail to recognize our own. indeed, no one can be deemed to know everything but atleast we are expected to live who we really are. we are encouraged to express the truth and ourselves and be the best person that we could be. but who said that life is easy, right?
sometimes we need to bend things as much as we don't want to, in order to conform to what other believe as right, good and best. we bend to the limit of ourselves to satisfy other people's expectations. we bend to the rules even if it cost us even our own happiness. but the saddest part of it all is that regardless how we keep on bending, we are still unaccepted and considered as deviant.

the play reminded me of a person i knew three years ago. I was spontaneous, passionate on what he is doing and have a good sense of fulfillment. but what we didn't know was he was actually hiding something behind his warm smile and frolic antics. he was struggling to forget something, something he regreted venturing into. he fell inlove to a wrong person. he believed that kisses were promises of affection, hugs as assurance that they have their backs and sex as a security that they are into this together-- as starcrossed lovers. thus, he waited for those promises to be fulfilled. he remained his eyes and ears shut whenever he see that person with someone. he bear all the blows in his chest and kept his dreams as colorful and vivid as they used to be.

but one night, after their limbs fell down on each others' body, his lover confessed that it will be their last. he hold his tears with all his might just to keep it from falling until the moment his lover would walked out of his room. he never figured out that it was plain lust and not love. but who can blame I since both words starts with L and 4-letter-words? if only someone has warned him. if only he was an expert with signs.

up to this moment, i haven't heard from that person since i went down to manila. i even thought, he will follow us here. but he never contacted us and have chosen to be just a memory for all of us.

remembering him gave me an easy grip to the play, which gave us two kinds of people inside a relationship: the coward and the fool. the coward who is scared of expressing what s/he really feels and decided to keep hidden behind the facade of what his/her audience want to see, denying himself of himself as well. while the fool, on the other hand, keeps on believing and hoping despite the obstacles and challenges that await them. optimistic that eventually they will achieve contentment and happiness. but both of them will just keep on moving on the same circle, chasing each other and if fortunate will meet in the middle. but most of the time, don't.

as the curtain closed, actors bowed to their audience, walked our way home and until this very moment i am writing this, the story continues inside my head as if the play never ended, as if it continues to search for a better ending as it relives a clearer picture of I in me again, wondering when will I meet him again.