going down the queen

"packed your things. you'll be leaving for cebu today."

then the line dropped.
immediately, i opened my cabinet, sort fresh clothes from the laundry and stuffed it inside a small shoulder bag. no more time for second thinking of what i still need to bring.
in a matter of 5 minutes, i already caught myself hailing a cab and riding inside it.
two hours later, i was already walking along mactan international airport looking for my contact, where she later brought me in a hotel in cebu city.
***

i must admit, it was my first time in cebu. actually, it was my first out-of-luzon trip. alright, it was also my first AIRPLANE ride (roll eyes to geek and toiletots).

***

cebu doesn't have much difference from manila. if not for the language, i can wake up there believing i am still in makati or in quezon city. your manila signs obviously are there: the heavy traffic, rows of commercial establishments, fast paced commuters and of course, the ayala mall.

***

a friend once advised me, never ask in filipino/tagalog in cebu because most of the time, they would answer you in bisaya (he believes, it is cebuano's way of getting back to manilenos prejudices against their accent). he added that i should rather ask them in english. but being me, i still insisted in asking in filipino. luckily, i understood the language eventually.

***

other than food and hotels, the three major businesses in Cebu are:

1. water vending machines; 2. spas; 3. foreigners.

water vending machines

i guess, "ice tubig for sale" is already long gone. in cebu, water vending machines are almost everywhere, especially among busy streets. the concept is you get a sheet of plastic bag, located on the side of the machine; open it right below the water funnel, then drop a peso. then, water will just automatically pour and stop once it reaches it serving level. you then tie a knot above the plastic and bite a hole on the side. then the rest is just gulping.

massage/spas

like, water vending machines, spas in cebu are crazy everywhere. almost every street has one. they offer a wide array of services from full body massage to facials and foot scrubs, and it doesn't even costs that much. usually, it ranges from 150-250 php/hour.

if you try checking online and compare your results to other key cities in the country like manila or davao, you'll learn that the number of cebu masseues and masseurs are winning by miles.
now, it makes me wonder if either it is indeed stressful to live in Cebu or the people are just...

fond of relaxation.

it was also in cebu that i have heard (note: heard, not learned nor found out) the linggam massage.

foreigners

at first, i always believed that the huge number of foreigners are concentrated in Cafe Havanna in Greenbelt 3. but when i went to cebu, it appeared as if the entire Cebu islands were the main branch of Cafe Havanna.
unfortunately, for some of us, it seemed as if whenever we see a foreigner, they automatically register to us as stacks of cash; or whenever we see a foreigner together with a Filipino partner, we immediately connote that that the Filipino is a milker.

you can understand this by observing how aggressive and assertive certain subjects are towards foreigners, especially among malls and bars (particularly in Mango Square).

i guess, this is another part of colonial mentality that we failed to look into in our history and sociology classes.

***

when riding jeeps, people from cebu don't rely on the signage. they rely on the number-letter on top of each vehicle: 13C, 4B, 12L etc. as if they are map coordinates.
there are also cases, from which, when you ride a certain jeep going to a certain destination (for instance, 4C). but you will be needing to ride a different jeep (12L) to go back. or that was just me being dumb with directions again. hahaha!

***

after almost 4 months of no rice diet, operation: no rice diet was suspended in cebu. who can resist their presentation? and it only costs 2php.

but i guess, the bottomline is, you cannot fully enjoy cebuano food without rice along with it.
especially the cebu lechon and POCHERO aka BULALO (don't expect Cebu's pochero with tomato sauce).

***
looking for popular place to eat, friend suggested this place, where they serve the best grilled and raw food. so i hailed a cab and told the driver,

"manong, SHOOT-TO-KILL po tayo!"

i swear, i saw him laughing at me (eto pala ang feeling nang nadidiscriminate dahil sa accent). ***
i really enjoyed going to Cebu. infact, the supposed to be 5 days stay was extended to 13 days. i consider it as a working vacation, since our job there is to pose as a tourist. and they are planning to send me their again for a 2-3 month project. but if offered, im thinking of declining. for me, the time frame is just too long.
personally, cebu is for vacation, not for work.

but then again, kung malaki ang food allowance at may prospect love life baka ma- 'let me think about it ako.' hahaha!

BUSted

recently, i am fond of riding buses.

i love how it slows down time. how it tells so much about life in and outside of it, about people that ride and pass by. and of course, about me sitting alone in my cold seat.

how an old, fragile and petite woman, probably in his late 40s, can be so freakingly frightening as she argues with the bus conductor over a peso or two during the entire trip. how men nowadays, redefine chivalry by just remaining seated right beside a lady standing. while whispering the words "women empowerment" over and over again. how even i could also be surprised realizing that i've hold on to my bus tickets 'til i dropped on my destination. probably the longest thing i have kept so far.

then suddenly the bus stopped.

a guy in his early 20s climbed inside the bus and struggled his way along the moving aisle. despite the sunlight behind him, you could still see how the movement of his eyes struggled in making a decision of what to take. typical, but not on situations like this.

then he saw this other fellow, sitting in front of me, and their gaze met. as if they were trying to recall where they have seen or if they know each other. but no one actually gestured or said a word.

the guy took the empty seat across the other fellow and still exchanging glances. for a moment, the guy would look away. while the other would try pretending he was looking at something or someone else. then again, their eyes would meet.

suddenly, the guy pulled out his mobile phone. now, this is something familiar. then the other would pull out his too. now, its only a matter of minutes before something will be confirmed.

public pick ups/hook ups are the things that always amazes me. how can someone make that huge and indefinite risk without the fear of its possible consequences? where do they pull out that courage? how can they be so sure? or is there a manual for this that i have missed?

i always wanted to try it. but never really have the guts to do it; not even the motives. its just plain curiosity with some excitement embellished on it, i admit.

then the guy shouted "para po!" as we were fast approaching techno hub. when he stood up, he made a last glimpse to the other fellow, who i've heard earlier would be dropping off in city hall. i swear i saw an exchange of brief smiles.

later on, the guy will receive a message, asking for his name and age.

the other fellow would reply back with, "who is this?" although he was already expecting it.

"the guy in the bus." it briefly reads.

"hey whats up. im adrian, 24. you?"

"cool. james, 23. do you have a place?"

"of course i do." (but isn't he going to ask what does the other party do, or some brief profiles, or if he has some serial killer tendencies?)

"can i drop by your place later?"

like the bus, the ride of the conversation was too fast that made everyone confused of where to call for a halt. scared of either missing their destination or dropping off way too far.

"no, i dont think so. but it was nice knowing you."

then the guy sent a couple of messages more. but "I" no longer made any response to any of it anymore.

call it curiosity, boredom or just plain power tripping. but there was something in me that moment that made me pull my cellphone too. i turned my bluetooth on and quickly reedit my device name to "0917 (my number)." and if my instincts were correct, it was that fellow in front who bit my bait.

its funny how our resourcefulness, regardless of how petty it is, proves how many of us device ways and send means across to others without any direct communication. as if we are indeed thinking alike. how our repressions blur out our rationality as well as our hesitations and creates a common psyche.

but i guess, in this case, its all a matter of motives and outlook differences. something that i should have not meddled into in the first place. but although i knew it was coming, i still didn't regret it. for i know i will still continue riding buses until i finally reach my own destination.

pampanga: sino naman kasi may sabing mag leather shoes ka?

there i was sitting on one of the many vacant bus seats, nervous of whats going to happen on my first day of work. still without a descent sleep, i took the earliest trip to olonggapo city with the plan of dropping off in lubao, pampanga as my first destination. surprisingly, i didn't feel the one and half hour trip, probably because i busied myself in rehearsing the lines i have in mind. for if there is one thing that is scarier than talking to your supervisors, that is talking to other people.

people can be very unpredictable. they may throw out behaviors, words, and actions that may be way beyond what you can imagine. thus, you need to be very careful in talking and relating to them especially if you are the one who needs something important from them. believe me, i know this, for i have lived with it for almost three years from my past work.

"PAAAARRRRAAAAA PPOOOO!!!"

i have already passed my first site. but it was just then when i stepped out of the bus that i've felt bad for the leather shoes that i am wearing. i was almost two kilometers away from the site, walking underneath the scourching heat, sweeping lahar dust and literally without any shade in sight. i should have brought an umbrella or atleast wore sunblock that day, instead of shining my leather shoes the entire night.

when i reached the sight and greeted the manager, i literally ate the words of the lines i have rehearsed earlier. i even noticed the slight smirked on her face and the suspicions inside her eyes. i was already on the verge of stepping outside and quit the job because i messed it up. but fortunately, i was able to push it when i had the chance to composed myself for the second try. then eventually the nervousness just gradually subsided when i felt that we were already joking around. i stepped out and waved them goodbye with the first set of information i needed. they even wished me goodluck for the so called "thesis" that i am doing.

then from there, i started hopping from one site to another and felt i am already having the hang of the project. but then again, i still reminded myself once in a while, not to be very lax about it for i am still dealing with different people. until finally, i met ana, the cashier-bitch from hell. she was probably younger than me and already whiter than me by that time. though i must admit she was pretty, which i believe is common in the gene pool of pampanga, i noticed their was something different from the way she looked at me. i already knew she knows she's pretty and that i was up into something unexpected.

like her stare, the tone of her voice was also way different from the other people i have talked to. she didn't even notice that she was already raising her left brow at me. despite the my extreme politeness. i was already beyond the limits of my patience. but i still held the remaining of it, for the hope that i'll still be able to get what i needed. until she finally dropped the bomb, "tingin ko hindi namin pwedeng ibigay yan, kasi PRIVATE (with much stress in the word) kami e. PRIVATE (darn, she even repeated the word)..

thats it, she was already into my nerves. i looked at her with a very innocent but annoying look and said,

"ay ganun po ba? bakit? saan po ba may PUBLIC (exagerrately stressing the word too) gas station?"

i felt and saw the sudden silence and change in her face. she was already red when she saw that her co-employees were looking at us. then she softly said, " saka na lang kayo bumalik kapag nandito na boss namin."

i gave her my contact details, asked her to hand it to her boss and walked out of the room with my head up and with a slight smile on my face. i never received any message from them. nonetheless, it was still fine for i knew she deserved such embarassment from a person who also know what a bad customer service is all about.

luckily, from the 22 outlets i have interviewed in pampanga, they were only two people, who refused to participate. but the second one was still politer in giving me the bad news.

it was already getting dark and i have to look for a place to stay. until i saw myself standing infront of a popular motel aka hotel. seriously, i was smiling while standing infront of it. it was my first time to enter this hotel, which is known for... you know. but still, i pushed myself to believe that such establishments are not only for that reason, that they are also for motorist/ wanderers like me.

i asked the cheapest but longest room rate. then jolly hopped my way to my room. checking if there are any people i could bumped into. but it seemed like privacy was really the thing that people are paying here for. though the place was fully booked, i didnt see a single shadow along the motel's correigdors, aside from the hotel's staffs who chose not to notice you at all. perhaps its still part of the privacy thing. then here came my room, i gently turned the knob and looked for the main switch.

WHOAH!!!

an eye-aching bright red light greeted me. it felt like i was flashblinded and entered a dark room. when i have already settled myself inside, i then noticed the channel guides on the top of the small tv set. at the top most of the list, channel 108 asian porn and 110 US/European porn. oh okay, so much for being openminded, i thought.

then i tried checking it out. i turned into the said channels. 108: oh okay, japanese. then turned to 110: OH OKAY EUROPEANS! then i suddenly noticed something in the upper right part of the screen, it was a timer counting.

WAAAAH! i was really alarmed with that thing at the top of it. i thought that they may charge me for this. that they are actually monitoring it, that i am actually watching these instead of the reasons i told them, that i am doing a research. what if they charge me for these? what if its separately? i don't have enough cash that moment and only have enough for my next trip the next day. but what alarmed me the most was the fact that they might know that it was very pathetic for a first timer like me, checking in alone just to watch porn and gratify his pathetic sexual life.

the next day, it was a relief when they cleared me out without any additional bill. embarassed with myself for thinking of such things. but hey, atleast i learned something knew: that watching porn in motels are actually free. i bet some of you also don't know this (O! huwag gaya-gaya! huwag ka'ng pa-virgin!).

i continued the remaining sites to be covered. and at the end of the day, i bumped into sussie's restaurant in the heart of angeles city, near nepo mall. as advised of one of my friends, i tried their pancit luglog, which was to die for. there local version of halo-halo, which was definitely special even without the ice cream, gulaman and sago. i ordered dinuguan and relyenong bangus to go for my relatives which i thought of paying a visit. and just like the other two, i was not disappointed at all. all for 240 pesos! (pictures to follow)

att he end of the trip, there are 4 things i have realized.

top 4 signs, na malayo ang pupuntahan mo.

4. kapag ang sakayan ay may terminal at kung may dumaan man asahan mong sabit ka o topload.

3. kapag may electric fan sa harap ng entrance ng jeep.

2. kapag puro matatandang may dalang sako, karton, bayong etc at mga batang uhugin ang kasabay mo.... BATA! TUTULO NA SIYA SA BAG KO!

1. kung may babaeng nagfrofrontal exposure sa tabi o harap mo... nagpapadede ng bata!

now, off to tarlac...

summer feeling

you remembered the scene but you forget how it felt. 

its quite hard to posit yourself on such situation. for me, its quite paradoxical to know that the same memory that makes you happy is the same feeling that makes you sad. 

last night, i hopped inside a bus on my way home, struggled to look for an empty seat and ended up sitting somewhere on the far end of the bus. when i have finally sat down, my sweat continued to pump non-stop. i can actually feel that any moment now, heat stroke will attack even in the middle of the night. i immediately reached the aircon nossles and directed them both to me. but its emission was still not enough to lend me any comfort or relief. even i gave up. then suddenly, i just realized that it was the same seat that A and I used to take.

alone, i recalled how we touched each others' hand, how i worried about things that happened before i start my day and laughed to the things that passed as A's day ends. 

i held my hand with the other, thinking if it would give out the same feeling, but it wasn't. i surprisingly remember A's hand to be rough, that it tickles mine even in the slightest move. the lines were prominent and deep, that it usually pinch some parts of my palm. A's fingers were big, probably twice than mine and sometimes it hurts when mine goes in between A's fingers. i remember the shiver, the sweat, the butterflies in my stomach. but none of those appeared last night. 

i also remembered that it was always a long ride. but despite the time it takes, we were always glad that it took that long. sometimes we even wished for the bus not to reach its destination. we were fine having that moment, sitting beside each other, holding each other's hand and thinking of the road ahead of us---silently. 

but the absence of how it exactly felt lingered in me as if it was haunting my spine. that no matter what i did, no matter how i convinced myself, i still couldn't bring back the same feeling i used to crave. 

in short, i remembered the scene but i forgot how it felt

then suddenly, the first rain poured heavily in the middle of the summer heat and continued until tonight. i finally felt what it partially felt, at least in a way.

the son

this year's summer is terribly horrible. it reaches the point that i would wake up in the middle of my sleep soaked with sweat and forced to hit the bathroom and take a quick shower. i haven't had a decent sleep lately because of it and seriously, its driving me nuts.

but i didn't think that day would be hotter. i was riding the train on my way to work, still dripping with sweat, when suddenly i felt someone staring at me. i tried looking around to find where its coming from and in my surprise, i saw those pair of eyes not far from where i am standing at. 

those eyes were full of expression and probably one of the most attractive eyes i have seen. if it was not excitement, then i couldn't think of anything else inside it. i looked away and tried checking it on my periphery but it seemed like it was still staring. i tried making a glimpse and there it was still locked on my direction. the feeling was starting to be uncomfortable. probably, because i am not used to this situation.

the train stopped and doors opened. people hopped out while some moved in. most of the passengers are pushing and struggling their way inside. in my surprise, those eyes were already beside me without my notice. we were looking at the same direction, outside the window. staring the setting sun behind those towering buildings at everything swiftly passes, as fast as the adrenalin crazily rushing inside me.

i am quite familiar with the situation from the blogs and films i have seen. but its indeed different once your ass is into it. all i have to do now, is wait. if those eyes are really into me then it will make the first move. i even catched it staring at me thrice. so i know, i am the game. but no move has been done yet and were fast approaching my station. when the train reached my drop off, it was mix emotions. i was grateful for nothing happened but on the otherhand, the frustation and regret were annoying me. 

i was already standing in the escalator when the same feeling started again. i looked back and in my surprise, saw the same set of eyes still following me. in a way, i found myself slowing down.

why am i slowing down? i panicly asked myself, what if it does catch me? am i ready or even game for it? skipping work for that day was already out of the question. what bothered me was where to go, what to do, and how will everything end up? 

then suddenly, i felt a weight on my right shoulder. i turned around and saw those pair of eyes glaring with excitement more than before. 

"jeff?" the thin lips below those eyes uttered.

i was surprised, its been ages since i last heard someone called my first name. only my parents, relatives and friends before college call me that. everyone i met from college to the present know me as erick. 

i looked at those eyes carefully, searching for any resemblance or familiarity. but nothing came up. 

"aren't you vice's son?"

then it hit me. the eyes know my dad. i carefully nodded.

"ekso!" he exclaimed.

ekso is a bicolano term referring to godsibling or kinakapatid. my dad happens to be a politician in bicol and you would be surprise to know how many weddings and baptisms he had been as a godparent. 

"i know it was you when i saw you inside the train. you look exactly like your father."

i am unsure if that was a compliment or not. i smiled but no words came out of my lips. i don't even know his f*&$%$ name.

"you probably don't know me. my name is _____. i have been in your place a couple of times before but never had the chance to meet you since you studied in baguio. so i suppose you graduated now. are you working here in makati?"

yes, finally a word came out of my mouth. 

those eyes accompany me to my office and talked a lot of things over. mostly, about my dad. but my attention was elsewhere. i suddenly noticed that it gradually became just a regular pair of eyes as we walked our way. when we reached the front of my building, i looked back to it again. but despite its smile and how it arched above those prominent cheeks, i never saw even the slightest resemblance from earlier. we waived our goodbyes and parted ways. as i walked inside the office, all i could do was to release a heavy sigh.

it was damn close! i almost got busted. then suddenly, my phone beeped. its my dad. 

so you've met your ekso?

i just hate being a politician's son.

can we blame them? chronicle: a holy week presentation

Can you actually blame them?

be the first person to cast the stone,

if you don't believe that this is love

rather its a sin.

tulad niya

tulad niya,

minsan dahil sa sobrang tagal makakatulog ka na lang sa paghihintay. pero kapag dumating na ang hinihintay mo at tulog ka pa, wag mong aasahang may tatapik o gigising sa iyo dahil tiyak maiiwanan ka,

tulad niya.

we must attempt to be captains of our own ships, if not masters of our destiny.

-anon

gets mo yun?

so, anong next step mo?

-tanong ko sa sarili ko.

hindi totoong emo ako!

isang araw habang nakasakay sa bus, ako'y nakatingin sa labas at nagpapakain sa kawalan. madaming bagay ang naglalaro sa isip ko ngayon---bumabagabag, namumuo sa loob ko at nagpapabigat ng pagal na kaluluwa. gusto ko'ng umiyak. sa matagal na panahon, ngayon ko na lang din mararamdaman ang pagtagas ng mainit na luha sa nanlalamig ko ng mukha.

kumukuha na ako ng bwelo ng biglang, nakita ko ito.

naisip ko, napaka anti-climatic ng mga ganitong eksena na hindi mo alam kung iiyak o tatawa ka ba. kaya naisip ko para iwas pacheeseburger, dapat maging masaya... buti na lang nakita ko ito. halina't mag payaman ng bokabularyong tagalog.

baktol

ang ikatlong lebel ng mabahong kilikili.

kukurikapu

libag sa ilalim ng boobs.

mulmul

buhok sa gitna ng nunal.

burnik

taeng sumabit sa buhok sa pwet.

alpombra

tsinelas ng mga nagtitinda ng yosi.

bakokang

higanteng peklat.

spongklong

estupidong tao.

weneklek

buhok sa utong.

barnakol

maitim na libag sa batok.

bultokachi

tubig na tumatalsik sa pwet.

kalamantutay

mabahong pangalan.

mcarthur

taeng bumabalik after mong iflush.

may mga karagdagan ako:

cachichas

nagnanaknak na sugat sa pagitan ng mga daliri.

yung hindi mo na mabuka at halos magkadikit na ang mga daliri mo.

punlay

isperm o punla ng buhay.

takluban

vagina o pekpek.

alipawpaw

eroplano.

eh, ano tagalog ng chair?

salumpuwit

eh ng BRA?

salung-suso

ng panty?

salungguhit

eh ng BRIEF?

salungganisa

ano tagalog ng wheel chair?

salum-po

hahaha... kitams, funny kaya ako?! at hindi po totoong emo ako. black propaganda lang yun... hahaha!!!

ayus! tipid walang cheeseburger!!!

maraming salamat din po pala kay kiss the bitch para dito!!! asteeg ka! you made my day!

naisip ko minsan hindi rin naman masama iboost ang ego, kaya pinost ko na lang din ito. walang kukontra, ang kokontra sasarado ang butas sa pwet!

another mrt boo-boo's

i was 20 minutes late than the usual when i arrived at the mrt station. good thing, i still have my stored value card which saved me from the edsa-long pile of passengers waiting to buy a ticket ride. when i stepped on the escalator, i saw people starting to swarp up on the other side above. this only means one thing, the train already arrived.
i then immediately rushed up to catch it. i forgot how many people i boxed-out off my way. i really didn't care anymore. i was scared that if i will miss this trip, i'll be late for work----again.
then i heard the train doors' buzzer giving its ear-wrecking alarm. but i was still half way up. when i arrived at the end of the stairs, the door already begun closing.
my adrenalin rushed. my thoughts were then just focused on getting inside the train before the door completely closes. my feet flew faster than i am actually pushing it. but the door was almost half close.
NOOOOOO!!!!
voices began to appear telling me, "you can't make it, ewik! stop it now! the door is almost close and you might either get crush between the doors or crash yourself at it." while the other voice is telling me, "of course, you can make it. just believe in yourself! you are almost there. run faster! RUN!"
time was not enough for me to come up with a decision. so choosing the best out of two evils, i opted to push myself in. i didn't really care what might happen. all i could think of was i need to get into that train or else i am doomed!
then i felt the thick metal flooring beneath the sole of my right shoe. i checked if something hit my sides and there was none. everything seemed to be okay. when i have confirmed that both of my feet are now stepping on the aisle of the train. i cried "SUCCESS!"
i made it. i was able to catch the train by almost a second. i felt so proud of myself that i wanted to raise both of my arms and make a graceful bow to my watchful audience. i thought, probably, i wow-ed them with my stunts. but when i turned my eyes to them, i felt something weird. there was this unsual feeling in me telling me that something was wrong.
it actually took me almost 20 seconds standing in the middle of the train before i have realized that all the passengers looking at me were women: darn, i got inside a segragated cart.
although there were still available seats left, i slowly walked away from the aisle and chose to stand up near the door and pretended nothing really shameful happened.
from there, i beared the embarassment while thinking that i still have 6 stations more before i could step off of this awkward situation.

lesson learned: don't rush into things too much. hhhmmmm...

sa loob ng tren

minsan ko nang narinig ito sa ilang mga kaibigan at akala ko nuon sa pelikula lang nangyayari ang mga ganitong bagay. pero iba pala talaga kapag nasa loob ka na nito, isang napaka surreal na palabas.

source

padilim na nang ipinilit ko ang sarili ko makasakay sa tren. pero isang pisngi na lang talaga ng pwet ko ang nagkasya. okay lang naman sa akin kahit maipit at maiwan ang kabila dahil super late na talaga ako. pero ang pintuan na ng tren mismo ang umaayaw. bwaka ng inang tren ito napakapihikan.

no choice. nakakahiya man pero kinailangan ko'ng bumaba. at yun yung mga sandali sa buhay mo na makikita mo ang sarili mo'ng nakatayong mag isa habang tinitignan ang mga taong nakasakay sa loob at tinitignan ka din nila pabalik. dahan-dahang sasarado ang pintuan at saka aandar ang sasakyan papalayo. tapos iisipin mo na lang na isa na naman yun sa mga malungkot na sandali ng iyong buhay. kungsaan napag iwanan ka na naman. duon, kusang tutulo ang iyong luha ng hindi mo namamalayan---siyempre hindi totoo yun! ano ako emo?! iba lang talaga ang epekto kapag umuulan. kung anu-ano ang naiisip ng mga tao.
pero sinuswerte pa din pala ako dahil hindi ganun kasikip ang sumunod. may biyaya nga talagang naghihintay sa mga tao matiisin at may bonus pang mauupuan. saan ka pa?! sana nga lang walang matanda o babaeng sasakay at tatayo dahil alam ko'ng hindi ako lulubayan ng aking pagiging gentleman. buti na lang at boni na'y wala pa rin at kung meron man, may ibang mga lalaking agad na nag aalok ng sa kanila. nakakatuwang isipin na marami pa pala kami. naks!
marami-rami rin naman ang mga nakasakay. pero sa kabila ng dami, naging tahimik ang lahat, maliban sa isang lalaki sa kabilang upuan na pasimpleng nagfafalceto at sinasabayan ang kanta ni alicia keys sa kanyang mp3. naisip ko ang polite talaga ng mga pinoy, nagpapanggap na hindi siya naririnig para hindi mapahiya. pero sa kabilang banda, naisip ko baka naman nag eenjoy silang pinagtatawanan siya.
maya-maya pa'y nag umpisa ng lumikot ang mga mata ko. parang mga tipong mata ni terminator na kalkuladong naghahanap ng isang potential target. pero sa layo ng tinatanaw ko, hindi ko namalayan meron naman pala sa harapan. artistahin, makinis ang kutis at malakas ang ER factor. mukhang hapong-hapo ang bata, gumigiwang-giwang ang ulo kaliwa't kanan dala marahil ng sobrang antok. sa sandaling yun, pinangarap ko'ng sana'y katabi ko na lang siya nang maalok ko din naman ang balikat ko. para lang maging consistent sa pagiging gentleman. pero hanggang pasimpleng pagsulyap lang ang banat natin. mahirap ng mapagkamalang manyak.
subalit sa di kalayuan, nakaramdam ako bigla ng ibang tumitingin. aba, si manong na tatlong tao ang layo sa bata ay sumisimple rin. gusto pa akong agawan. gusto ko siyang sabihan ng "manong, possesive ako. first come, first serve. matuto ka'ng kumilala ng amoy ng ihi ng iba." pero ang conceited na manong, ayaw magpaawat kahit naka-todo corporate attire at mukhang kagalang galang. masama mang maghusga ng iba, pero nasa threshold na talaga si manong ng pagiging open minded ko. sa wakas nakilala ko na si mr. exception-to-the-rule. marahil kung krimen lang talaga ang pag-iisip ng masama sa kapwa, three counts of reclusion perpetua na ang napataw sa kanya. dahil sa titig niyang daig pa ang 41-in-1 na surigao scandal na nilalako sa gilid ng kamuning o baka naman malisyoso lang ako.

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matapos ang dalawa pang istasyon, sa wakas, naramdaman din ng pobreng musmos ang pagtitig ni manong conceited. umayos ito ng pagkakaupo at pinako ang tingin sa malayo. halatang abot buwan na ang pagkabalisa niya. sa sandaling yun, nakaramdam din ako ng awa sa bata. naisip ko, kung talamak man ang eye-to-eye contact para magkaroon ka ng instant fubu (c'mon don't tell me kapareho din kita na lately lang nalaman ang meaning nito) sa panahon ngayon, sana maunawaan din ng mga lumalahok nito na hindi lahat naorient at nakapagregister. may ilan, at actually marami sila (kami, whatever!), ang hindi naglagay ng check mark sa i accept and understand the terms and conditions of this agreement checkbox at piniling hindi sumali sa crowd. nakakalungkot man isipin pero dapat isaalang-alang natin na hindi lahat ganito kabukas ang pananaw at hindi rin naman ito dapat itake against sa kanila. ito rin ay isang personal na desisyon na dapat igalang at dapat maunawaan at siyempre with special citation kay manong conceited.
tumigil ang tren sa guadalupe station. tumayo si manong conceited patungo sa pintuan na wala na ang bakas ng kung anuman meron siya kanina. habang si pobreng musmos naman ay nagiging conceited na din sa pagiging patay-malisya. maya maya'y may hinugot si manong conceited at inabot sa pobreng musmos. nagulat ang lahat nang nakakita, isang business card ang naiabot. pagkalabas ni manong conceited agad na kinuha ng pobreng musmos ang kapirasong papel at dali-daling sinilid sa loob ng kanyang bag na parang walang nakita at nangyari. balik agad si pobreng musmos sa pagpapatay malisya.
bumaba rin ang bata sa parehong istasyon na binabaan ko. hindi ko na siya tinignan hanggang sa dumaan siya sa gilid at palabas ng istasyon. madaming naglaro sa isip ko habang dinudungaw siya papalayo. subalit isang bagay lang nagtibay sa akin. at ito'y tapos na ang isa na namang bahagi ng palabas at ako'y mag aabang na naman hanggang sa susunod na atraksyon.

bayanihan

how far more?

02/20/2008

i remember during our sibika class way back in elementary, my favorite teacher, miss santillan, discussed to us how filipinos are unique from other societies. she said with her mellow well toned voice, that filipinos are hospitable (no wonder, we were so easily colonized), respectful because of the use of "po", "opo", "ate", "kuya" etc. (that is why most of us are afraid to express our opinions), god-fearing (we believed there is salvation for all of our hard times) and very helpful to our fellows which is portrayed with what was known as bayanihan.
it just came to me earlier the word, bayanihan. its been a while since i've heard of the word. basically, we imagine a group of people carrying a nipa hut whenever we heard of it. but come to think of it, we're you able to see an actual bayanihan before? because i really never had the chance.
i came up with the picture of bayanihan from movies, television shows and paintings mostly of galang's. as far as i could remember, the practice is usually done among families who need to relocate their house form one location to another. the people who participate it are usually friends and neighbors of the respondent family. they would cooperatively carry and move the house to its destination. after which, no compensation is expected in return. sometimes, the family would just offer food and drinks to the participant as a sign of gratitude.
but not in one chance that i was able to see an actual one. i even remembered before whenever we go to the province of my mom, i always asked if there would be bayanihan that would pass my grandmom's house. my uncle usually tell us that it is seldom happens during those days. because most of the houses in the barrio were already in concrete. there are only a few people left who prefers having nipa huts and most of them lives in the middle of the ricefields. ever since then, i lose hope of seeing an actual one.
i just realized, how does teachers or parents, nowadays discussed bayanihan to the younger ones without them actually witnessing it on their everyday life? is bayanihan only already a part of history and could only be seen among history books?
ofcourse, the absense of bayanihan would not mean that filipinos are no longer helpful. i think being helpful is innate among filipinos because our culture and traditions reared us to be one (bragging aside). but i just noticed that most of the time, people will either help and expect a compensation in return, would not help unless asked or would not help at all.
basically, the reason why i came up with this topic is because of what happened earlier. while thinking of something to post with inside a jeepny, a woman was trying to pass her fare to two passengers who were infront of each other next to her. the woman was struggling to hang her arms to reach the next person and saying 'bayad po! bayad po!" but the two people: a boy and a girl, pretended as if they were not hearing and seeing anything. they were expecting the next person to them to reach it instead. but what was really annoying about this two people was, the girl turned her back on the old woman and stared blankly outside the window. while the man pretended to be sleeping. i really can';t believe that was happening. i even thought that i was in wow mali or noypi and throwing a big joke on me that time. i was really anticipating that any moment somebody will just knocked me and spill the spoof. but nobody did.
i slid my butt against the bench and made the initiative to reach for the fare eventhough i was sitting on the other end. i checked out the girl and the man. but they are still on their act of ignoring the other passenger of the jeep. i was really on the verge of kicking them out, i swear.
for me, riding a jeep is like our modern version of bayanihan. you help each one for you to be able to reach your destination. if you don't want to cooperate then its better you stepped out of the vehicle and get yourself a cab so that no one will bother and asked you to pass the fare. it just give me the temper.

mp3 zombies

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while I was riding a jeepny back home yesterday, I tried observing the people together with me. it was so silent inside the PUV except for this one guy. this guy was a large man probably in his mid to late 20s wearing a headset probably from his cellphone or his mp3 player. there were also around 6 people inside who has one, which includes me. but this guy was different. the problem was this person was actually singing on the top of his falcetto voice which was really really god! I swear! adding-up-all-the-annoying-adjectives-you-can-think-of to describe him while singing that what goddamn song he was listening. not to offend anyone, but honestly hearing a big guy singing regine velasquez's songs would probably be the most ackward moment of your life.
everybody was already staring at him that time. but the guy seemed to be so clueless of how loud and screechy his voice was and the torment of his voice scratching our ear drums.
I am really not fond of discriminating a person because of his features or what not, but darn it was really unbearable. infact, there were two girls sitting beside me, who at first was giggling at him. but the next time I twist my head on their side, they've immediately transformed into foul mothed bitches cursing him to the extremes. they were also already making 'parinig'. but the guy was still blankly looking outside and singing in his mind ALOUD, as if he was all alone and making his own mtv or videoke scenes inside the jeepny. I swear, I could even see him in black and white that time.
it was a torture chamber being inside the jeep that time. it actually went worst for me and the rest of the passengers, because it seemed like we were sharing this telepathic feeling that all of us including that man are dropping at the same place which was the end of the route---the jeepny terminal.
then when we reached philcoa, people began to dropped off. but all eyes where actually on the man, anticipating for the slightest movement that would tell us it was his stop. but the man didn't moved into his seat. but he paused from singing. the jeep went off after all philcoa passengers were already gone. it was silent again. from that point you tend to really appreciate the pleasure of silence. but when we thought it was already over, the man released something that was sharper, more thinner and more annoying pitch, trying to hit a high note on regine velasquez' song palasyo. it was extremely terrible! believe me, its not something that you want to encounter everyday. I just have my share. I just hope somebody would soon have theirs. hahaha.
by the way, to whoever do the same thing please be considerate. if you want to follow the song being played on your players, please sing with it silently and close your mouth.