demons and wonderlands

"why don't you face your own demons, erick?"

"because i think if i do i will be miserable."

this is my own way of dealing my issues. hearing and thinking of others' stories as an escape from mine.

basically, i tend to clutter my thoughts. tire it 'til it goes pitch dark, 'til it gives out white noise. i may not be totally victorious, but atleast i have burried them down for the meantime. though they kept on casting stones at my window last night, leaving me sleepless.

thinking is something very tiring to do, especially these past few days. its like looking for something that you haven't met before though you feel its presence. its exhausting and its draining. while some say its liberating. but can someone really claim his total freedom?

for me, facing your demons is like standing on the edge of a deep dark well. either you jump over it and walk forward or you surrender yourself in an eternal free fall.

everyone has their own demons in them, regardless of any classifications. these are those things that keep on itching inside you and struggling to go out. but we keep on pushing them back, trying to hold them as perpetual secrets. we repress it for we are scared of its possible outcomes like acts that may go out of control; feelings that may overcome rationality; and even lust that may lead to addiction.

i admit, i am not that brave to face nor conquer my own. and admitting this is the only brave thing i could do so far. but if this is the only thing that will keep me intact and sane, can you blame me for it?

for in a world full of vicious and conniving wolves, where all are hidden underneath deceiving sheep skins, its really difficult for one to look and join his "real" flock. but the thing is, if one keeps on rubbing about his lays and petty talks of superficiality as if they are the only things that actually move life, will you expect people to take him seriously? can he blame the universe for not giving him the other half of their soul? or can he even point others for always being left behind?

sad to say, but i guess, the definition of machismo has already reached its universality and this isle of desolation; expressed by the number of sex, depicted by rounded off inches and measured by face trophies. and the worst part of it is that it already made the game borderless and endless, to the point that everybody is already trying to play alice, just to justify things through their own self-built wonderlands.

at the end of the day, i can say that i am no preacher nor moral thrower. but if these are the demons that life had set for me, then perhaps, not facing them is "my" right track.

BUSted

recently, i am fond of riding buses.

i love how it slows down time. how it tells so much about life in and outside of it, about people that ride and pass by. and of course, about me sitting alone in my cold seat.

how an old, fragile and petite woman, probably in his late 40s, can be so freakingly frightening as she argues with the bus conductor over a peso or two during the entire trip. how men nowadays, redefine chivalry by just remaining seated right beside a lady standing. while whispering the words "women empowerment" over and over again. how even i could also be surprised realizing that i've hold on to my bus tickets 'til i dropped on my destination. probably the longest thing i have kept so far.

then suddenly the bus stopped.

a guy in his early 20s climbed inside the bus and struggled his way along the moving aisle. despite the sunlight behind him, you could still see how the movement of his eyes struggled in making a decision of what to take. typical, but not on situations like this.

then he saw this other fellow, sitting in front of me, and their gaze met. as if they were trying to recall where they have seen or if they know each other. but no one actually gestured or said a word.

the guy took the empty seat across the other fellow and still exchanging glances. for a moment, the guy would look away. while the other would try pretending he was looking at something or someone else. then again, their eyes would meet.

suddenly, the guy pulled out his mobile phone. now, this is something familiar. then the other would pull out his too. now, its only a matter of minutes before something will be confirmed.

public pick ups/hook ups are the things that always amazes me. how can someone make that huge and indefinite risk without the fear of its possible consequences? where do they pull out that courage? how can they be so sure? or is there a manual for this that i have missed?

i always wanted to try it. but never really have the guts to do it; not even the motives. its just plain curiosity with some excitement embellished on it, i admit.

then the guy shouted "para po!" as we were fast approaching techno hub. when he stood up, he made a last glimpse to the other fellow, who i've heard earlier would be dropping off in city hall. i swear i saw an exchange of brief smiles.

later on, the guy will receive a message, asking for his name and age.

the other fellow would reply back with, "who is this?" although he was already expecting it.

"the guy in the bus." it briefly reads.

"hey whats up. im adrian, 24. you?"

"cool. james, 23. do you have a place?"

"of course i do." (but isn't he going to ask what does the other party do, or some brief profiles, or if he has some serial killer tendencies?)

"can i drop by your place later?"

like the bus, the ride of the conversation was too fast that made everyone confused of where to call for a halt. scared of either missing their destination or dropping off way too far.

"no, i dont think so. but it was nice knowing you."

then the guy sent a couple of messages more. but "I" no longer made any response to any of it anymore.

call it curiosity, boredom or just plain power tripping. but there was something in me that moment that made me pull my cellphone too. i turned my bluetooth on and quickly reedit my device name to "0917 (my number)." and if my instincts were correct, it was that fellow in front who bit my bait.

its funny how our resourcefulness, regardless of how petty it is, proves how many of us device ways and send means across to others without any direct communication. as if we are indeed thinking alike. how our repressions blur out our rationality as well as our hesitations and creates a common psyche.

but i guess, in this case, its all a matter of motives and outlook differences. something that i should have not meddled into in the first place. but although i knew it was coming, i still didn't regret it. for i know i will still continue riding buses until i finally reach my own destination.

bitchesa experiment vol.3: si dabo ang tunay na echoserang froggy!

mahirap maging bitchesa ng wala lang. lagi itong may pinaghuhugutan.ika nga ni engel, marx at ni gramsci, dapat laging may dialectics.

tulad mo, hindi din ako mahilig makialam sa buhay ng ibang tao. pero isa sa mga bagay na umuubos ng mitsa ko ay kaCHEAPan, kacheapangagahan, o kachipipayan. alam ko, hindi ako mayaman, pero napapamura talaga ako sa kacheapan!

so dear dabo aka Echoserang Froggy,

as much as i don't want to do this, but i guess kelangan may magsabi sa iyo nito...

for you can never claim that you didn't see this coming, since simula palang gusto mo ng makita ka bilang MASA... ang laging API. bigla kong naalala. si politoad with matching clap clap and "politoad, politoad!" naimagine mo? good! cute noh?!
so ito na ang kontrabidang hinihintay mo. kaya dapat hindi ka mapikon o magalit.

dont worry kasi surprisingly, hindi ako nakastillettos, naka LV, o chanel. nakatsinelas lang ako, binabacon ang SUNJOY na brief at suot ulit ang tshirt na sinuot niya two months ago.

believe me, i tried, i really really tried to understand. and you can even ask my gynecologist about it.

but dear, you just crossed the line of intolerable kacheapan. daig mo pa ang piratang dvd ng WAPAKMAN!

you see, appreciation and friendship are two of the things in this world that you acquire. they are not something you push or beg from others.at lalong lalo na, at the expense of other people ( especially of they're my friends).

kacheapan man na matuturing ang pagpatol sa kacheapan. atleast nalaman natin na my levels din ang kacheapan. and kelangan nating matuwid yun para sa isang ideal kacheapan world. nahilo ka ba sa dami ng salitang kacheapan!

kacheapan, kacheapan, kacheapan... ayan, magsawa ka sa kacheapan!

KACHEAPAN!

hindi ko lang talaga magets, kung bakit ka pa VICTIM... alam mo yun yung pelikula ni judy ann santos na "pa-victim! pavictim! pavictim!"?

minsan, may nagsabi sa akin,walang biktima, kung walang nagpapabiktima, at funny kasi IKAW ang una kong naisip. napicture out ko na nga din kung ano ang itsura mo kapag ginawa kang emblem: right hand on the chest tapos nakatingin sa langit...may liwanag! o di ba? glamour shot ng mga api.walang sinabi ang pag amen ni santino sa kuha mong ito.

anyhow, hindi mo pa din ba nagets? its not about exclusivity, its not you not passing a qualification for friendship because in the first place, walang qualifications sa pagkakaibigan. nagdedeliryo ka lang, nasobrahan marahil sa dose nang pinaghalong pang aapi mo sa sarili at isang kutsarang tinunaw na mothballs.

believe me, madami akong kaibigan, may pangit, may gwapo, may maganda, may mahirap, may mayaman, may streetsmart, may mahina, may manginginom, may bookish, may tamad lang mag aral at maging "pariwara." at lahat sila hindi ko naging kaibigan lang dahil sa facebook o anumang social network. dahil hindi lang sa facebook ang paraan para makipag kaibigan.

sa mundong ito, importante ang space o ispasyo kaya may value ang anonymity lalo na sa mga blogger, lalo na sa mga PLU.

isang indikasyon na mataas ang importansya ng anonymity sa isang blogger ay ang kanyang profile. kapag nakita mong wala siyang picture, iba ang kanyang litrato o hindi siya nagpapakita ng isang parte ng lanyang pagkakakilalan, halimbawa ang kanyang mukha ay dahil gusto niyang maging anonymous. dahil duon nakakapagsulat siya ng mas malaya. nasasabi niya ang kanyang mga gustong sabihin ng hindi nag aalala sa maaring maging bias sa kanya ng ibang tao o ng makakabasa.

at sa oras na may nakakakilala sa kanya kaibigan man o hindi, kakilala man o hindi, in a way, nawawala ang kakayahang iyon. nasesensor na ang mga bagay na gusto niyang sabihin o isulat.

magkaiba naman ang kaso ng facebook, in a way masasabing isa itong online resume ng isang tao. nakapaloob dito ang ilang impormasyon tungkol sa kanya at dahil sa impormasyong yun, minararapat ng marami na ilimita lamang iyon sa mga piling tao, sa mga kaibigan, sa mga kamag anak at sa mga taong kaya niyag pagkatiwalaan. kaya hindi mo masisisi ang isang tao kung hindi ka niya inaccept dahil desisyon niya yun. again, respect begets respect. and the same logic goes kung di ka respectful.

so bago pa man maubusan ng semilya ang kontrabida mo, mag conclusyon na tayo, lagpas na din ito sa primetime at inaantok na ako.

basically, simple lang ang CONCLUSION.

hindi ka api, dahil hindi naman sinasabi ng mga api kung papaano sila inaapi. kusa itong nalalaman at nararamdaman ng kanyang audience. hindi niya sinisigaw sa buong set kung paano siya pinapahirapan ng paulit ulit.
(sinasampal ako! sinasampal ako! binubugbog ako! binubugbog ako1 nag sakit! sakit!---di ba ang weird?)

at lalong hindi siya gumagamit ng iba para magtagumpay.

so hindi ka api, hindi ka din si rubi dahil hindi ka pwedeng maging bida sa eksenang ito--- echusera ka lang! ECHUSERANG FROGGY!

P.S.
tanggapin mo man o hindi, wala na din akong pakialam. at wala din akong pakialam kung hanggang saan ang kakayahan mo. wala akong pakialam kung ikaw ang hahalakhak sa huli. at lalong wala akong pakialam kung magsarado ka ng blog at magsimula ulit ng panibago... kung ako sa iyo, panindigan mo na lang kundi mo kayang tanggapin or make it a lesson learned kung narealize mong mali ang iyong pagtingin.

and yes, may karapatan akong magbitchesa dahil kaibigan ko ang tinalo mo!

(this is so mean girls, i love it!)

yun lang.

now back in aiming world peace!

bye-bella!

mmwwwwaaaaahhhh!

itchy to be a bitchy spider!

ang gabing hinimay ko si dave: laglagan time

10. daig pa ng mood ni dave si cinderella pagdating sa curfew. sa unang tingin, mas perky pa sa utong ni jepoi at butt cheeks ko ang energy level ni dave.

pero once na tumahimik na siya at pumungay ang mga mata, sign na yun na close na ang anumang invitation ng lakwatsa. any attempt ay makakatikim ng litanya ng hybrid ni jackilyn jose's facial expression at katarayan. best in 21K walkouthon din siya kapag may out of town pafiesta.

9. one day, nakita ni dave si bea. sabi niya, belo is so overrated. while me, only perla touches my skin and so is our class christmas tree.... connection?! basta! mahirap mag explain! hahaha!

8. may absurd definition si dabo sa salitang talent partikular sa singing. mahilig si dave kumanta, pero ang kanta, o kayo na magtuloy nito para naman may audience participation din kayo.

likas na mapagbiro si dave kaya naman nung una kong narinig siyang kumanta, akala ko talaga nagbibiro siya. kaya mangiyak-ngiyak ako sa kakatawa. pero lumipas ang madaming birthday parties at mga videoke nights, duon na ako nagtaka, nagbibiro pa din kaya siya?

7. tatlo lang ang pinapanuod ni dave, maliban sa porn; national geographic, discovery at animal planet. kaya naman hindi matatawaran ang appeal niya: kinky nerd, ika nga nila. dagdagan mo pa ng mga CR mishaps "daw" niya. hahaha!

pero madalas kinatutulugan niya ang mga ito. yes, mantika kasi siya matulog at madalas sa sobrang mantika niya matulog, umaapaw ang laway este mantika sa bibig. hahahaharrsssshhh!!!

6. madaming nagsasabing hot si dave. ikaw ba naman ang may daan-daang portfolio ng body shots sa kwarto, sa sala, sa banyo, sa dressing room ng mall etc. ewan ko na lang talaga?!

sabi ko nga sa kanya minsan, kung nasusuot lang ang katawan mo siguro may show at sariling line ka na para sa fashion week.

paano nga naman siya hindi magiging hot. ako nga na bikolano na, naweweirduhan pa sa tuwing nakikita kong inuulam niya ang hot sauce. at minsan hindi lang inuulam, sinasabaw pa.

5. masarap kasama si dave kumain. masarap siyang kumain. ay mali!!! rephrase. rephrase. rephrase. masarap siyang tignan kumakain. best in rice ang kaibigan kong ito. may palagay nga ako na dahil sa kanya kaya wala ng eat all you rice sa tokyo tokyo. well, theory pa lang naman yun. mahirap nang mademanda ng libel.

guiltless din kumain kapag kasama si dave. hate niya ang mumo. dapat walang tira sa pinggan, walang laman ang balde, walang bara sa lababo, kaya wala din siyang pet na pusa o aso.

4. basta ako alam ko, kundi laway at luha, pawis ko pa lang ang natitikman ko galing sa katawan ko. si dave nag more than three... HAMAZING!

*aminin mo nagbilang ka din ng iyo? hahaha!

3. kung si superman ay may kryptonite, may sarili ding kahinaan ang ating bida. at ito na marahil ang pinakamalaking revelation/ scoop tungkol kay dave. siyempre liban pa yun sa sex life niya. ayaw ni dave ng anumang nilalang na may higit pa sa apat na galamay.

pagdating sa pagkain, sumusuko ang tiyan niya sa pugita/ pusit. para itong gatas sa isang lactose intolerant. pero hindi naman siya allergic sa seafood. infact, siya pa nga ang nagsuggest mag halloween party kami na under the sea ang theme. siya daw, ang sirena. ako naman black shirt and pants lang na may glow in the dark spots. tanong niya, e ano ka? sabi ko naman with conviction, PLANKTON! hahahaha!

in relation sa number 8, may mga pagkakataon din namang nakakahit ng mga high notes si dave. tipong makabasag pwit ng baso/ pero yan ay kung hagisan mo siya ng gagamba. yes, gagamba. kahit anong gagamba tinitilian at kinikiligan ni dave. malaki ang phobia dito... pero siyempre iba na ang timbre ng tili at pagkakilig niya kung si peter parker na ang nakita.

source

2. at sino ang makakalimot sa classic line niya na nagpatahimik sa lahat ng scandal. one night, while we were driving along serendra para maghanap ng makakainan (legitimate term for cruising), naisipan nami siyang tanungin. dave, how do you find sex? may panginginig at kagaralgalan pa sa aming tinig.

ang sagot niya, finding sex is so easy that IT ACTUALLY BORES ME.

naglactate kaming lahat ng dugo sa loob ng kotse!!!

1. kapag natrap kayong dalawa sa isang isla. kawawa ka! humanda ka na sa mga kung *blank* questions niya. eto tip, madalas niyang tanungin, kung bibigyan ka ng isa pang etits saan mo gusto ilagay sa noo o sa gitna ng ilong mo? o kaya naman kung ikaw bibiyaan ng malaking boobs saan mo gusto ipalagay sa earlobes o sa armpits? o di ba, mind boggling?

at ito na ang inaabangan ng lahat, ang tanong na: ano ba ang tipo ni dave sa isang partner, romantic o sexual man.... mahilig si dave sa...




ay 10 nga lang pala noh?! sige next time na lang yung ika 11th. hahaha!

weekend pebbles

something came out from the back, crossed above my shoulder and reached my hand. i heard a name despite the beat pounding music. while a wide and warm smile illuminated against the flickering darkness as i turned for its source. it was one of the shadows that were seating infront of our table that dragging friday night.

so i gave a name as i reached for that hand.

"hey kirby, my friend actually wants to meet you. i hope you don't mind?"

surprised but still calculating, i turned to my friends to ask them for their opinion. and with their approval, i excused myself for a minute and followed the shadow as it made its way to its friend.

compare to other people of my age, i must admit i am a newbie when it comes to this kind of acquaintanceship. perhaps because i can't get along with other people that easily. for me, if i am already having a hard time talking to my friends' friends, then what more to people you meet inside bars. or probably i still haven't outgrown what my parents had taught us when we were kids, to never talk to strangers.

but i realized in a place like that, any gesture of politeness is the best response to any act of appreciation.

J was older than me. but J looks younger than i am, and definitely more fit. i offered my hand and gave the same name i gave earlier. but J didn't greet me with a smile. instead, J grabbed my wrist and pulled me toward its body and gave me a tight hug, one of the tightest hug i could remember. then that was the time, confusion began to sink in.

this was not the same response i used to read in knoxx's entries, nor the same scenes in tristan's tales and definitely, not among the perfect moves of THE tripper.

i might missed something, i thought. but what?

being the paranoid me, the first thing that came in mind was to check for my pockets. but it seemed like everything were still there, and that made me more confused.

J didn't talk that much and neither do i. most of the time, i would catch J just staring at me that made me really conscious. there were already a number of things running inside my head: and most of them were fruits of my own paranoia, meaning, its not good.

after three dances or so, i felt i had to go back to my friends, so i had to excused myself to J. but even before i left, J then grabbed my hand and gave me a tightier hug. and i don't know if it was just me, or i didn't really feel any malice from it.

it was warm but at the same time it felt very lonely.

as we made our way to my friend's place, i have realized two things that morning: one, that appreciation is so rare these days for it seems like everybody keeps on striving it for themselves, that they have already forgotten on noticing and giving one to others; putting so much effort solely on how they look, act, behave and even to their works. call it a pick up move, but receiving one from others is such a precious and wonderful feeling. and by saying this, i also realized that perhaps for most people, appreciation is also one of those simple things that keeps them from going back to such places.

***

going out the next night was not in my list of how to spend a saturday night that day. but because of my rampant reputation of being kaladkarin, it didn't take a sweat from another set of friends to convince me to accompany them.

but honestly, i am really hesitant with the idea. not because, i am only wearing a simple gray shirt, a pair of jeans and hiking shoes, but because of many virtual memories of the place. not to mention the fact that aside from my friends, A also tagged along.

the place was filled with a concoction of expensive perfumes, decorated with moving sophistication, and gorgeous smiles. never thought that my eyes would dance that intense than my body.

but when the crowd started to clear the ledge to give way for the special acts, faces emerged and all the virtual memories began to materialize. the hesitations became regrets and the rest of it left me to become as hard as a rock.

i remember a friend, who once asked me, how do you manage to keep them?

i answered him, i don't. i just try.

sometimes you just have to bear the hurt in order for you to keep what is left from it. and at the end of the day, you just hope that you'll forget it, eventhough, you know it will be difficult.

i admit, i over rationalize things, to a point it over boards to the negative side. i lack spontaneity when the situation needs it. i shut down my emotions eventhough its just about to ignite. and above all, i pretend to be brave just because i know i am scared: scared of doing the same mistakes again and getting hurt. but what i didn't realize was that those impulses, mistakes and fears can also come up with good things, right decisions and timely actions, because that affirms other people that one is still human, capable of loving and being love.

thus, as we left the bar, i allowed my impulse to finally embrace me. an act was made not to restore anything from the past rather to come up with an answer for the next day. until the answer stood infront of my window, waived me goodbye and ran as fast as it could until it disappeared for the second time--- again.

picture sources: www.loupiote.com

how to get rid of a very annoying sister

one day, my sister was annoyingly watching me while i was playing this game in my laptop.
she said,

"kuya, bakit ang hilig hilig mo dyan sa pokemon, halos hindi ka na matulog at kumain kakalaro niyan, e ang old school-old school naman?"

i paused the game, looked at her and said,





"kapatid, masarap lang kasi yung thought na may nakikipaglaban para sa iyo --- kahit sa isang laro lang."



she walked out upon hearing it.

hahaha!

tres panalos

a few weeks back, i posted something regarding a newly launched movement called TXTMATES. the group advocates equitable mobile market for cellular service consumers.

recently, the national telecommunication committee acted upon the ongoing issues of mobile carriers by extending the effectivity period of phone load credits. in addition, smart already launched its unlimited call service, which is considered as one of the good starts of the movement.

soon, globe and other mobile carries will also launch their counterpart for this one, as part of the market competition, an act that they should have done way back.

something i could be proud of for in my own ways i have been part of this movement.

all you need to do is to show your support guys. click here!

***

free theater play ticket. make a review. win zenzest gift packs, sinta and rene villanueva books and bilog cd... what more can you ask for?! salamat gibbs! you're the man, zobrah!

***

me: what would you suggest for someone who has colds?

JL: have you tried irish latte?

me: not yet. alright, give me a large one.

JL: pause... sir erik?

me: *blush, speechless* yes.

JL knows my name! HAHAHAHA!

but wait there's more...

thanks for giving your heart/s to me, JL!

hahaha!

peace ODIN!!! hahahaha!

three victories to start my week, not bad! keep them coming please!

para kay lamberta makipot

aka dabo:

salamat sa pagpapakilala kay leah dahil kundi sa kanya ay hindi ko matitikman ang arroz valenciana aka fruit cake.

salamat sa pagtitiyaga sa ka-OChan ni jepoi para sa kanyang graham cake na sadyang may flower/starfish sa ibabaw.

salamat din sa marinara pasta mong sadyang napakasarap for a beginner's luck at crinave ko bigla paggising ko.

at siyempre sa pagiging clara (mara clara), angelica (marimar), celina (mula sa puso), valeria (rosalinda), pirenha (encantadia), amor powers (pangako sa iyo) at miss minchin ng buhay ko!

kaya aside dito,

at

isang namamasa, namimintog, bumubulwak, nangangamatis, nanghihimahid, at tayong tayong,

HAMPEY DEBUT SA IYO!!!

kahit every year ka nag dedebut! welcome sa bagong stage ng buhay mo, balitaan mo kami how it feels like para mapaghandaan ko!

HAHAHAHA.

nagmamahal ang bitter-na-cook-ng-paellang-pinagkamalang-tuyong-kare-kare-kaya-gumaganti,

ewik!

*naisip ko, ang babait ng mga tao kapag bewtdey nila. pero since ako si ewik at ikaw si dabo, deviant tayo.

**pero in a serious note, salamat. alam mo na yun!

the real road shits

today, I woke up 25 minutes before my shift. but on a usual day, i used to wake up atleast 2 hours before, in order for me to have ample time to commute from katipunan to makati. just imagine the panic that struck me when i saw my unreliable alarm clock. i immediately stood up from bed and prepared for work. it surprises me how my adrenalin cut my preparing time to 5minutes form the usual 30 minutes or more.

when i stepped off our gate i hailed a cab, believing that it would save me from getting scolded again by my supervisor, for it sometimes does the trick. taking the cab would just take me 15minutes to my office, if the driver senstive enough to realize that i am rushing, while 30 or more minutes if i got an lpg driven taxi and a very lousy driver.

fortunately, i was able to get a regular taxi with a very sensitive and friendly driver. but when i thought that i am about to make it, i saw a big traffic build up ahead, along c5 road. its such a big hassle, especially for commuters, whenever politicians start to build up their names foir the upcoming election. even the roads that doesn't really need some would be dig up and be reconstructed, behind the excuse of widening it for better roads, better lives, as they say it.

what is more annoying is the fact that the road they use to reconstruct are the busy ones, those that most people pass but don't really need to have major repaired: and to worsten it all, reconstructing a 300m road takes god-knows-how-long. take for example, the f*&#$^% C5 road! while those roads that are remote and really needs total reconstructions are being ignored and left out. they just have to show off their name to the people passing, still believing that name recalling is always a good thing.

i reached work almost an hour ahead of my supposed shift. still upset of the traffic that i struggled to pass through. i immediately headed to my station. hoping that my boss did not notice me. but when i felt his presence coming near me, i hurried setting up everything and pretended busying myself with work.

"after that one, go to my cube, okay?"

i just gave him a nod.

i know, its me to blame for being late. but if not for the road construction they keep on digging up, i could have catch it up.

oh well, its just me ranting. now, back to regular emo programming. hahaha!

when poverty kicked me hard

blessed are those who can still see poverty. - mugen

just like any other things that is too prevalent in our everyday life, poverty has already been considered as something that we often taken for granted. it is too visible in almost everywhere and in everyone of us that most of us would just not want to notice it anymore. probably, it is one of our innate response into something that we could not find ways in resolving, a form of escapism, away from something that some of us already considered as hopeless. but last night, reality kicked me hard and i have noticed poverty once again in the most least expected place and moment--- inside one of those fancy restaurants in mall of asia.

the other night, a blockmate from san beda invited me over for dinner. my initial thought was she might have a problem with her boyfriend again. but she told that it was just a simple(?) block get together. the initial plan was somewhere near katipunan since they have considered that i still have work in makati. then it was moved to diliman. then to quezon avenue. on their way to quezon avenue they decided to return back to mendiola because of the traffic in welcome rotonda and haggled if i could just take the lrt and decided where to go from there. by the time i arrived, we immediately headed off to mall of asia for dinner. from there, one of my blockmate suggested we get steak. all agreed. we went to this fancy steak house restaurant. when everyone settled down, the waiter handed each of us a back to back sheet of menu list. our initial reaction was, "wtf?!" the cheapest dish on the list was around 680 and it was a thin slice of roasted meat marinated in rosemary and some herbs.

i was indeed hesitant in choosing what i am getting eventhough i know that i am not the one who will pay for my meal. for me, i just find it too much for a dinner. i thought, it could already feed a family of 5 in a slum area in manila for a week or even more in the province. but my blockmate insisted since we were already there. i just asked them to choose one for me atleast just to lessen the guilt i was feeling. they've ordered me a jesse james steak, which i don't have the slightest idea what kind of beef part it was. it took me a while before i have answered, "well done!" when i was asked by the waiter how i wanted it to be cooked.

i am not really a fan of fine dining. i usually get off my guard whenever i dine in to such establishments. because compare to other food establishments, fine dining usually requires too many considerations and restrictions on how you use the the exaggerated number of utensils, how you sit, how you chew, and even how you swallow it. i know, its all about dining ethiquette but there are times in which these standards, which by the way are just borrowed from other societies' standards don't really apply on our own context.

but going back to the food, by the time it was served and had a taste of it. i really tried hard in looking for anything special about it to justify its price. but it seemed like the too salty gravy was intended to make taste to the almost dull and tasteless beef. for that, i didn't even finished my food and regreted for dining in into this place. but the big surprise was just yet to come. i was surprised when i saw our bill. it was totalled 11214.20. the tax alone was a whooping 1103.04. but when i thought it was finally over, i saw another line that says service charge with 919.20 printed on it. it just made me fell on my seat.

then, i realized how decandent people can be whenever they stop noticing poverty around them and even to themselves. sometimes we are too occupied with things that we want to buy, experience and lavish that we fail to realize that there are actually other people, more people to be exact, that needs these means more than we do. i thought probably if we have donated just a quarter part of the money that we have paid, probably by now, we have made an entire family smile and survived another day.

but as the conflict theory arguement goes, every society needs to have a social strata that is composed with the more advantaged and the less advantaged groups in order to create conflict that will serve as the impetus for a society to survive.

well, i just hope that one day, if possible, we no longer need to have these nor any conflicts in order to appreciate our lives--- that is my idealistic self speaking.

as i end this post, i am thinking, did we leave any tip?

the unveiling

based from what i have observed, blogging could be considered as the new chatting. it is becoming so popular these days that often than not, most of the blogs that i have hopped into are just plain mediocres.

oh no, if you got offended, don't think that i am claiming authority about it as a backfire. because i am still open with the possibility that at the end of all these, i may still be eating my own words.
so why is blogging the new chatting?

some would claim that it is an escape from the superficiality of chatting just to know someone from cyberspace. if you are looking for romance and/or even sex but you always get rejected in the chatting scene because of ... you know. these people think that if it looks (oops!) is not an option for them. then trying or even sounding "intellectual" might probably do the trick. thus, blogging is the best place of building one's ego and image.

how?

unlike chatting, blogging would not really require you to use any pictures in order for you to get some readers. though some actually do (spare me the video blogs please. hehehe. peace!) thus, you tend to build an image out of the entries that you posts. some are successful, some are not.

its just like packaging sharon cuneta or kc concepcion. its not really necessary to have awesome talents. you just need to know the right strategies and techniques in order for you to sell yourself and have, not only good readers, but also established audience and even friends.

the fisherman

when confucious said, give a man a fish and he'll live for the day. but teach a man how to fish and he'll live for his entire life, he didn't think that it can create an overpopulation of fishermen in the seas that fishing has transgresses itself to land and even in cyber space.

how can someone fish in cyberspace?

simple, you just have to hook a "pa-naive," "pa-humble" and self pitiful image as a bait and then throw it on your post. then if someone sympathizes and kisses your ass--- then there goes your catch.

the ackward

just to make things straight i have nothing against body exposure and infact, i believe that appreciation to body proportion is always a relative thing and i myself doesn't have a good one as well. but the existence of the word ackward made everything quite differently. it set boundaries and the moment you utterly expose your body in a general audience that doesn't appreciate such, then the word pops up.

i never believe that there is such thing as art for art sake because if you are going to thoroughly understand it, you create art not for art itself. for there is no such being. you create either for self expression or for other people to appreciate. thus, it should have a purpose rather than associating it to art alone. its a lame excuse, if you'll ask me.

the "E" maniac

ofcourse, blogs are created to jot down something about yourself. something personal from which you want to share to the public. but reality will tell us the anything in excess is bad. thus, we need to know that we have to avoid getting an impression from our readers that the world doesn't revolve on us alone. but if you just keep on rubbing in things about yourself, readers may think that you are just one of those ego maniac roaming around this planet. advertising yourself like a cheap product in tv shopping.

ICCCEEEEE BBBBBRRRREEEEEEAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKK!!!

narealize ko lang lately siguro in demand sa states ang mga ganitong mukha.

charice pempengco

arnel pineda

BILUGAN...

in second thought, MAGKAMUKHA SILA!!!