free (boys) will

the other day, i was riding a bus on my way home. as usual, the traffic was as slow as molasses, especially around that time. but i am not complaining.

if there is one thing that i am looking forward, it is that part of the day--- going home. but it is not the actual part of being home that i am fond of rather it is the commuting that keeps me want to leave work early. for it is the distance between my office and home, where i could have a silent time for myself; contemplating--- thinking of random things.

then while i was looking at the window, i saw a group of kids in the middle of EDSA in front of robinsons pioneer. they were standing beside a slowly moving taxi, looking inside. the driver tried shooing them away. but in a snap, they immediately opened all the doors and tried searching for something. the passenger panicked and grabbed all his possession. perhaps, without anything to be picked, the kids ran and scrambled away from the vehicle.

(days after, they were identified as the hamog boys, a part of the bukas-kotse and salisi gang.)

from there, i wondered, where their parents could be and how they became a part of this.

***

a little over a year ago, i came to realize that there is no sense of arguing when it comes to religion. beliefs are just not easy to rationalize nor be bend since this is something that we carry on from the day we could remember and passed by our generations. thus, i always opt in avoiding such discourse. gradually, i have realize it is just a waste of time, not to mention that i am self confessed agnostic.

as cliche as it may sound now, i never allowed myself in losing my faith on a higher being. for me, as long as science has not yet overcome its limitations, i will still hold on to that single reason why we are all here. but my doubts and uncertainties lie on the institution that claims to represent it and from here i refuse to elaborate further.

i grew up strictly catholic. brought by catholic schools. raised by prayers and molded by the teachings of the bible. and if there is something that i learned and still hold into, right to this very moment, it is the concept of free will.

Thus, today, i am making an exception. for the simple reason that i value my freewill more than my default religion.

i believe that free will was given to us, not by any whimsical reason nor as an outcome of being rational. it is there for us to write the distinct tales of our lives regardless of what the ending may be. it is our choices, options and even the circumstances that weave each strand of our individuality.

source

to conclude, free will is bounded by the options one has, and to deny that option is simply to deny free will. thus, above everything else, denying that very choice is denying our very own faith.

a dandelion's story

probably, sometimes this just what we need. something unexpected. something that would break the monotony of everything and cast you from the routine of everyday living.

yesterday, was the last meeting we had for my creative writing class. it actually feels good when one of the best filipino writers in the country appreciates and loves what you came up with for her class. but it seemed like if you find pure happiness in what you have achieved, it is also easier for frustration to succumb you and this was the feeling i was struggling to overcome as i made my work after that class.

early this morning, after my work shift was moved again for the nth time, my mom gave me a call. when i was about to tell her about my plans of resigning, she butted in and told me to go back to law school full time. it was mixed emotions that sprung from three thoughts: first, i was extremely excited for i could now easily quit work and find myself focusing in studying again. but i was also hesitant, knowing that i have to give up something that i am starting to like and go back to the life draining law school again. and lastly, it was just a pain in my ego.

now, this is what i am afraid of. it was just a post away when i said, i might regret things that i keep on asking and now its already here standing on the tip of my nose and yet, all i could do is look at it and could not even come up with a decision. i told my mom, i am going to think about it.

and now, i am still thinking about it and probably it would take more time to come with a decision.

here, if there is something very personal i could share to you guys (since i tend to avoid writing too private things about me), that is i could probably be one of the most mature person you'll know in handling personal and relationships matters as well as giving aside, modesty aside. on the other hand, i am the wimpiest worm you'll ever meet in terms of career matters. up until now, i still find it difficult to come up with an answer, what do you want to do in life?

in otherwords, i am the complete opposite of kris aquino three years ago, for lack of better ways of expressing it. go figure na lang!

hahaha!

marital rape vs. religion

"freedom"

paper and ink

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indeed, the state should strictly observed the separation of the state from the church. but what if the law being implemented crosses one's religious belief or vise versa?

yesterday, while doing some research over the internet, i've decided to take a quick break and talked to one of my officemate, kat. she would probably be the most reserve person at work. you would seldom see her talking or if she will, it would be near the threshold of silence. she came from an exclusive catholic school for girls in quezon city. so she is quite religious as well. she, like her faith, is religiously attending masses and bible study almost everyday. despite the hectic schedule of our work.

our talk eventually lead us in discussing about religion and gender. she told me, before, when she was in highschool, they have a priest mentor who told them that it was actually a sin for a woman to refuse sex, whenever her husband is inviting her. i was actually surprised hearing that rule. she said it was actually in the bible. although she forgot the exact verse of it. well, i couldn't let myself not to believe her, considering that i think she knew the bible more than i do.then suddenly i thought of the concept of marital rape.

Marital rape is any unwanted sexual acts by a spouse or ex-spouse, committed without consent and/or against a person's will, obtained by force, or threat of force, intimidation, or when a person is unable to consent (ref: by sheri and bob stritof).

in the philippines, it was just in 1997, when the country have finally recognized the existence of marital rape through R.A. 8353 or the the anti-rape law. although this law did not specifically identify rape between married couples, it was somehow structured to cover up generally all kinds of relationships, as long as a man had carnal knowledge to a woman through force, intimidation, and violence: when the offended party is deprived of reason or otherwise unconscious: by means of fraudulent machination or grave abuse authority or when the offended party is under twelve years of age or is demented, even though none of the circumstances mentioned above be present (ref: chan robles virtual library).

then i thought again, what if it is the other way around. strictly following statutory construction could a woman still be charged with rape if she had carnal knowledge with a man under the same circumstances? how about man to man? or woman to woman? or probably this is for another issue.

on my research, i found out that catholicism is not the only religion who recognizes the refusal of a woman to have sex with his inviting husband as a sin. such action is also considered as a wrongdoing in islam. basically, both religion argues that when a woman enters the contract of marriage, she is expected and obliged to serve his husband, in which sexual intercourse deemed as a religious duty. second, both religion is also dominantly patriarchal in nature. in which women or the wives are expected to submit to their men or husbands. lastly, both religion advocates marriage as a venue of procreation which is also supported by our law. thus, any refusal coming from one of the party especially the woman is recognized as a refusal for the growth of the family, which is the life blood of every society.

nonetheless, come to think of it, marriage is a consensual agreement between two parties that is also arranged with mutual respect. both have duties and obligations to one another. if one is forced to do something outside his/her consent through violence and intimidation, then it is no longer consensual and a violation of the agreement. basically, the loss of respect could also be considered the loss of the foundation of the agreement. but not necessarily the effectivity or validity of the marriage.

on the other hand, if a man is charged with marital rape and used the religion clause, in which the “constitution commands the positive protection by government of religious freedom -not only for a minority, however small- not only for a majority, however large- but for each of us, ref: Concurring Opinion of Justice Stewart, Sherbert v. Verner, 374 U.S. 398, p. 416 (1963), to protect himself against the charge, it might change the flow of the case.

but in the case of estrada vs. escritor, the supreme court ruled that benevolent neutrality, does not mean that the Court ought to grant exemptions every time a free exercise claim comes before it. But it does mean that the Court will not look with hostility or act indifferently towards religious beliefs and practices and that it will strive to accommodate them when it can within flexible constitutional limits; it does mean that the Court will not simply dismiss a claim under the Free Exercise Clause because the conduct in question offends a law or the orthodox view for this precisely is the protection afforded by the religion clauses of the Constitution, i.e., that in the absence of legislation granting exemption from a law of general applicability, the Court can carve out an exception when the religion clauses justify it.

in conclusion, a man charged with marital rape could not used the arguement that his religious belief protects him from the law of the state because such might be detrimental to the equal protection to women particularly among wives. in addition, couples should understand the true meaning of love first even before engaging into marriage. it would work on both parties. a wife who understands love would be rather compasionate in understanding the needs of his husband, regardless if this is something personal or for the purpose of raising a family. while a husband who truly loves his wife would understand her considerations and respects his wife with reverence.

today, after writing this, i am going to discuss this post to kat. excited and full of enthusiasm i woke up and came at work earlier than the usual. then when i came in and look for kat, i just remebered, today was her off. darn!