Monday, December 6, 2010

a time traveler's letter

dear jeff,

honestly, i really dont know how to start this for i am not fond of writing letters like you do. for i know its rare for someone to send you a letter too. not to mention the fact, that this maybe the weirdest letter you will ever received to date.

i know that by this time, you are wondering who i am? how did this letter get to you or how did i know these things?

but as crazy as it may sound, i want you to know that i am YOU--- 11 years from the time you are reading this. in short, im writing you (myself) from the future. but before you go ballistic and hysterical or think that this maybe one of those crazy prick your classmates usually throw at you, i want you to hear me out first.

i know that you are going through a very difficult time right now. i know its difficult because you always keep it by yourself. you always tend to handle it by your own. but i want you to realize that its normal. thats what teacher sandy in your grade 5, T.H.E. class is telling you about--- puberty. you should have listen more to her rather than thinking of what cartoon character you're gonna draw that day.

puberty is tough. its like a snake shedding its skin for the first time. confused and anxious. always thinking of what s/he will become just to realize that at the end of the day s/he is just the same. s/he just grew bigger and wiser in order to survive another day.

i know you have good friends who are always there for you. so never hesitate to open up to them. if in case, anything change and they started moving away, just brush it off. for i am telling you, you will meet more acceptable friends along the way, the ones that will always be there for you through thick and thin.

do not also try to think about things too much. its not that i am telling you to completely shut your system down and move purely by your instincts. you just have to loosen up a little. everyone is entitled to commit mistakes because its on those mistakes that you become a better person. you might have probably be wondering now, what you will be reading after these, but its beyond the point.

you will do a number of stupid things on the days ahead. but by knowing this, never try to stop yourself. i want you to enjoy its superficial and temporary happiness then linger on what it seems to be its endless pain afterwards. i want you to experience all of these for i want you to know that i never regretted a single stupid thing that you have done and will do. because it is on those acts that i became stronger and wiser.

do not let yourself be defined by just one big incident. i want you to remember that despite life being one big incident, its still composed of small (good and bad) incidences and it will always up to you on what small incidences you want to fill it in.

hhmmm.. by this time i know you are already convinced and knowing you, you have probably just skimmed all the things that i've said above and just immediately jump into something about love, right?! hahaha!

im not gonna say that im committed as of the moment because that will be lying. and what is the sense of writing you from the future if i going to lie. but you don't have to worry, you will be fine. you will have a relatively deeper sense of love out from the relationships you will have, which some may neither understand nor appreciate. but this will equip you for your journey to finding that true love. fine! i admit you'll also gonna be a mushy lad in denial. probably because of some friends you'll gonna meet that i think it will be best not mentioning.
you see. its a big crazy world out here, my self. you have no idea. so do not rush, take your time. life may be full of uncertainty but remember that its on those uncertainties that will keep you going-- that will make you strive more. so whenever there will be days that you feel empty and lonely, just sketch what you feel and always remind yourself with these things i told you.

and NO! i am not gonna say how many partners you'll have. you have to find it out by yourself. hahahaha!

sex is not the only thing that you should look forward to when you reach your legal age. besides, you will lose your virginity even before you hit 18. alright, i think im saying too much now.

im sorry for being straight forward but i bet you will also be surprised on how i manage to get here--- being me now. and don't worry about your morals. there are still intact. im taking good care of it, at least from the last time i checked. but just in case, if this letter somehow moved you, please, remind yourself that your "future you," was also a bit late in accepting the fact, that he also has to loosen up and realize that setting his pride aside can also do him good sometimes. and that he should also realize that he should stop fighting himself; that somewhere in one's life, regardless how wise one claims to be, his/her libido will always be smarter in overcoming his/her rational. its just a matter of how you own such responsibility.

nonetheless, please remember that regardless how depressing life maybe, sometimes, never chase for happiness. try lessening your expectations. so you will never get frustrated. try embracing contentment but always challenge yourself with everything that you do. life is so short for regrets and depression. just enjoy riding the tide but at the same time, be wise in deciding where to start and stop. never limit yourself and always keep an open mind. try to talk more especially to those whose voice are unheard because its in their life stories where the real gems are.
4 years from today, you will be opening up a blog. yes, a blog. an online journal, where you will try to collate all your thoughts in english. do i have to repeat that again? hahaha!

so do not be scared on venturing to another skill other than sketching. you will learn a lot of things there and know a number of friends that will mold the person who is telling you all of these right now.

your future self,


*right! somewhere after graduating highschool you will then decide to live with your second name as a sign of a fresh start. again, best of luck!


Spiral Prince said...

This letter had a good feel to it, but I *think* I sense the slightest hint of wistfulness? Still, it made me smile. :)

Anonymous said...

save this letter for your future son...

just in case.


Désolé Boy said...

for some reason, i feel light after reading it.

Dori and Auj said...

surreal! :) one of the hardest letters anyone of us would find difficult to write.. and sending to ourselves.

Mu[g]en said...

I remember writing a letter to my future self. It was meant to remind him that even though I was experiencing the backlash of puberty, I will prevail eventually and laugh at my inner struggles.

Nice post wiwik!

Tsina said...

Wow. Maybe I should also write to my future self. =)

engel said...

why feel the need to write a letter to your past self ewwik?

wanderingcommuter said...

spiral prince: hahaha. no comment. lol! but you have a very good interpretation of things.

geek: i never had that relationship with my dad. so probably if i have mys on in the future. i will definitely just write him a letter than talking to him.

desole boy: hey thanks! nakarelate ba? lol

dori and auj: its like looking at yourself in the mirror and admiting everything that is wrong about you.

mu(g)en: hey i havent read that yet... thanks kuya joms!

tsina: its a nice theraphy, try it. lol

engel: me reminding my past self is my form of reminding my present self what my future self will remind me... gets? hehehe

ZaiZai said...

nice read :) natouch ba ang present self mo from the letter from the past?

kalansaycollector said...

sana nababasa talaga ng past self natin ang mga isusulat natin sa kanila no?

pero narealize ko na mas magandang ngayon na nga lang mabasa ang future letter kaysa noong past. at least natuto siya on his/her own hanggang sa sulatan niya ang kaniyang past...

teka magulo ba yung comment? haha

somelostboy said...

I do the reverse! I write to myself in the future! I guess I may want to reminisce ten years from now.

I use just in case.

Aleph's id said...

somelostboy, thanks sa link, ok yung webservice na yun ah.

mga humans talaga, we have this complicated relationship with our body which unfortunately is temporal, haha

Xprosaic said...

Galing naman... ano kaya sasabihin ko sa old self ko? hmmm... pakabait na lang... ahahahahahahaha