an open letter: dating a friend's former date

warning: the following depicts strong languages and ideas that are not suitable for idealists and hopeless romantics. read at your own risks.

catching yourself in between two good friends and another man is not always my frame of a scene.

honestly, i am really having hard time writing this post on top of my difficulties in catching up with my blog responsibilities over the past weeks. but i have decided that today, i am up for the challenge.

undeniably, in what seems to be a dogs-eat-dogs lifestyle where everyone tends or will try to know everyone, it’s not surprising for two friends to meet in the embrace of a common romantic (or even sexual) interest.

but what happens next is a trickier picture to be in.

source

though there don't seem to have a clear rule or guideline on such, i believe that like any common-sensical knowledge, it doesn't need any direct affirmation. its should be clear that no one is worth losing a good friendship.

but if the urge, want, need or whatever you may want to call it is unavoidable, there should be some things you may want to consider.

first, make sure its really and finally over. as cliche as it may sound, trust is the building foundation of friendship. and as we all know it, its something that is not easily given or acquired. sometimes it takes time and even solid proof for it to be shared. hence, if the feelings of a friend is not yet resolved then we should at least know and show to whose our loyalty is serve.

second, ask courtesy not permission. be mindful of your friend's gestures. for most of the time, "its okay!" doesn't necessarily mean its the truth. there will always be that awkward feeling on the friend's part looking at you and a former date at the back of his head (unless, he is truly and completely over). hence, being polite is the least possible resort he can dwell into.

third, know both the real score. it will always be helpful to know the reasons. it is within these reasons that set someone free either from his fantasy-like infatuation or from his "friendship-eating" guilt.

if the guy claims to your friend that he thinks he is not yet ready in this kind of relationship, then either he is just looking for a polite way of dumping him after a couple of good booty call or he really means it. either way, you may want to opt back in contemplating with item number one.

fourth, open yourself into ALL possible consequences. don't let this chance of someone liking you, overrule your capacity of being rational. most of the time and i guess its also safe to say that base from everyone's experience, such strong opportunities (reluctant in calling it as feelings) have the tendency to block our thoughts and make us just jump on that "exciting turbulent of fantasy rush." making us a bit looking desperate and selfish.

think of what will happen to the relationship you have with your friend, analyze the reputations it may entail on you and even how will it affect your other friends.

fifth, never think that you will be missing an opportunity (again). you are smart, good-looking and most importantly good-hearted fellow, whose characteristics are a bit rare to be seen in just one package. we would rather see you miss this "chance," but maintain the friendship and eventually meeting your match than taking this "chance-without-assurance" and start everything all over again.

and lastly, never think this is all about you being on the misunderstood-but-just-being-the-hopeless-romantic-me-side and your friend being why-is-always-about-him-being-on-the-good-side-while-i-am-on-the-other-side-side (whew! so many sides) because we all know that, at the end of the day, regardless of what happens, as a good friend, my only concern will always be on both of your welfares and of course, to our good friendship.

cheers!

para sa bewtdey boy

para sa taong mas mabilis pa sa mga motor ng edsa kung magcut at change ng topic.

para sa taong nagtratransform pagpatak ng 10PM kahit hindi full moon.

para sa taong mahilig magsulot ng pekpek short na ang slit on both sides ay 2/3 na buong haba ng tela.

para sa taong may nakakarimarim na poot sa kapitbahay na mahilig magvideoke buong araw.

para sa taong nag-maMATURE INVESTMENTS na sa pagbili ng kama, washing machine at iba pang appliances.

para sa taong naging kaibigan ko noong 21 pa lang ako habang siya ay 25 naman at ngayon, 25 na ako habang siya ay bumalik sa pagiging 18.

para sa kaibigang laging may baong mahigpit na yakap at "namiss na kita" kahit noong isang araw lang kami nagkita.

para sa kaibigang hindi natakot sabihan akong papansin sa text noon. HAHAHAHA! ouch!

para sa kaibigang laging nanlilibre ng YAKIMIX...hehehe!

para sa kaibigang lubos na maasahan sa paglilinis ng bahay kapag lumilipat (hindi tulad ng ibang nangangako dyan---hahaha!)

para sa kaibigang laging bukas ang isip at... ay! sige ISIP na lang muna pala...hahaha

para sa kaibigang napakatamis at STABLE ng ngiti ngayon,

at para sa (toot!) years old na pinakamamahal ko...

HAMPEY BEWTDEY DABO!!!

love with passionate sex,

kabitchesa

the men of the old house

it felt it was just last month, when a young boy fresh from college took all his courage and decided to find life in the city.

without any family, relatives nor friends with him, he saw himself renting a small room in katipunan together with an old landlord.

for almost four years the two men stayed under the same roof. but they managed not to divulge into a conversation. there relationship was constrained with brief nods or small talks whenever the boy pays his rent. there were even times when the boy catches the old man just waiting for him sitting on an old dusty couch as if cornering him to finally know who his tenant was.

but the boy, though as polite as he can, would always excuse himself with alibis of something important to do. then he will just catch the old man's dismay through his eyes. He will then feel loneliness radiating on his face.

It seemed like the boy just cannot stand the gloominess and coldness of the room. it was as if he was watching a very depressing film. hence he would always just stays inside his own space.

one time, the boy woke up realizing the landlord was not in the house. there was no coughing down stairs. no radio turned on. it was just plain silence. so he finally went out of his lair and decided to explore the entire house. then he realized, it actually took him a year before he have done this.

ang maarteng kurtina

in general, it was old enormous house, where dust already covered its elegance and time already stole it from being a home.

there was an old piano dead waiting on the corner. above it were frames of blurred old photos; of people who the boy have never seen before. but somewhere among the frames, he managed to identify his landlord. a young radiant man who was laughing while hugging a woman carrying a baby. the boy figured it must be his family. and no, he no longer attempted asking where they are now? he just left his curiosity inside boxes of piled stained letters, post cards and peeking photos. the mere thought made him really down and was even magnified when a cold smooth breeze brushed his arms.

it had been over a month since the boy learned his landlord was back. surprisingly, he was no longer waiting for him downstairs, sitting on that old dusty couch and listening to a struggling radio box. however, he noticed a woman, probably in her 40s, cleaning and bringing food to his landlord's room. she was also silent. eyes blank and lip tucked.

when the end of the month came, someone knocked on the boy's room. it was the woman. she said the landlord wanted to see him.

so the boy hurried, dressed up, took his rent from his pocket and went downstairs. when he opened the door, he was shocked. the old man was look entirely different. his frail body seemed way weaker than before, his swollen eyes sunk deeper towards his face. cheekbones almost vanished and skin paler than the cream blanket covering him. the boy almost did not recognize the man. pity started engulfing him.

the boy also barely recognized the old man's voice. though the message was clear. it was almost over. he wanted the boy to find another place; afraid that he can no longer maintain his house. he just wanted to rest and go back to another waiting. At least thats how the boy understood it.

the words struck him. he (boy) was speechless. there was just that automatic response of handling over his rent and go out. guess, he just can't bare the feeling or perhaps the conscience asking him why he cannot give the old man very small amount of his time before, just to make him forget or at they very least alter his routine.

but before he even made his second step, the old man stopped him. he refused to take the payment and advised the boy to use it for his next space. then he smiled. the boy almost surrendered to his own tears. he thanked the old man and left.

when he arrived in his room, he just stood in front the closed door and looked at the space he called at that time called his home, along with the things that he have brought inside; all the memories that he have met for the past four years.

goodbye has never been his thing probably because he always has difficulties of starting over. but if theres one thing he have learned from the old man, its simply waiting in between is far more worst than starting or ending something.

now, after four months of checking ins and sleeping overs, the young boy had finally moved over to his new place. brewing a new line of stories. and hopefully, this time, he will have the time to spare for other people to share their own stories with him.