pay day

so how does someone suppose to start his week?

with a smile on his face and happiness in his chest.

two days before payday, i met some friends despite the lack of means to do so, financially. i told myself that money should not hinder me from doing the things that i want to do and things that will make me happy. so i met up a friend in magallanes that morning, accompanied him in touring chinatown and had the best noodles and steamed dumplings in town.
afterwards, we met a couple of more friends for dinner in this fancy restaurant in a popular mall. the night ended with one of the best conversations i ever had, enjoyed one of the best food i have eaten and heard one of the best stories that could ever be told. then i said to myself that the decision was indeed worth it.

a day before payday, with only a hundred bucks in my pocket, a friend asked me to meet him up to hear his problem. so i used the remaining value in both my lrt and mrt cards. later, i knew that was the last time i'll use those cards again.

we talked and talked as the day went by. fortunately, my mere presence uplifted and cheered him up. the smile that i drew on his face was something that made me feel an overwhelming appreciation to the small things i have done.

then payday came, i withdrew all my money in the bank and paid my all my dues: my rent, my credit card, laundry, and some debts. it was just now that i have realized that i only had a couple of grand left. i havent even bought some groceries. then, i accompanied my brother in UP and treated him for lunch. then later that night, i met up with another set of friends for a brief dinner and coffee. then decided to go to pasay to fulfill another life list--- WENSHA!

honestly, i am a massage parlor virgin and that i am proud of(hehehe). so all i did was to follow my friend as we make our way inside the place. we went to the shower room (separately ofcourse), the sauna and steam room--- and yes the steam room also looks very suspicious. until we reached the massage room. at first, i was quite hesitant in doing it since i know that i am big moaner when it comes to massage. but what the heck, i did not pay 600 something just for the splash parts.

the massage was hard and when i say hard, it was really hard. i even got bruises in my arms and legs and there were also a number of times when i needed to control myself from having a hard on because i felt that the masseur's hand navigated too much on my body. but it was all worth it and the harrastment paid off. i felt that there were already more gaps and spaces for stress to fill in again. but when we thought that it was the end of the package, it seemed like the establishment has still something more in store for us and decided to put it as the finale--- a buffet!

it was already 4 in the morning when i reached home. but 5 hours after, i found myself making a kite for the first time. what for?

ever since i was kid, i was always envious whenever i see a kite flying in the sky. i always wish that i am the kid who is flying it. this is the part where you will ask, how's your childhood?

we didn't grow up with our dad around since he worked abroad. while my mom only knows how to cook and take care of us. so i never flew a kite before nor made one.

so, a day after payday, together with another friend, we ate breakfast in UP first, jog around the oval and decided to fly the kite i made. despite the day just being so dull sunny with no wind tagging alone, i still tried and ran probably more than what ive jogged. there were numerous attempt but i was already satisfied seeing the kite 15 feet above me.

there was this cheesy feeling, about the kite while it was above my head. it was as if, i am attached with it, that i also wanted to fly and just for a time be above the entire place and moment. it or both of you are free.

later that night, before i went to work, i have recalled all those things that i have done and realized how happy i really was during those times. then i thought all the things that i have missed. all the precious moments that seemed to have been stolen from me.

a friend told me, to think about it first and don't rush too much with my decisions.

but i answered him, its been almost three years since i first thought, if this is the right place for me and i think its enough for me to come up with this decision.

another said that i should have atleast another plan or a back up.

i answered, its difficult for me to look for another one while i am in here. so i believe that in order for me to find the fulfillemt i am looking, i need to go outside the box first to look for it.

well, i have realized how we need to do the things that will make us happy first in order to remind us what we really want or need in life.

thus, although i only have more than a grand in my pocket, i gathered all my courage, hope and wishful thinkings and finally made it official after a very very long time.

its already been five hours now since i have set my heart loose and my lips to smile again. while i bid farewell to my last pay day.

i'll survive. i know, i will.