the last trip

last night, as the car was dragging me back in makati, there were millions of thoughts radically rushing inside my head. and no, these were not the same depressing nor gloomy thoughts as i used to post in this blog almost every day, pestering you guys---hahaha.

for the first time again, i felt pure happiness, contentment and the simple feeling that i was reaffirmed of myself.

after i met an acquiantance in makati, with nothing else to do, i directly headed to cubao, where friends are waiting for me. it took me almost an hour because of extreme rush hour traffic, where i was forced take the bus, since the waiting line in ayala station was as long as the entire mrt route itself.

when i reached cubao, i immediately texted them and asked where am i going to meet them, che replied back, "stall 39."

i have waited for hours outside having just a stick of cigarette in my hand. the last stick from the pack i have just bought that afternoon, that started my chest to ache. *i never really had the chance to speak to the woman behind the white tapestry. so i just put and found myself in deep contemplation.

i was literally having a symposia within myself. probably the most intense dialogue i ever had.

i was thinking probably this is the best time for me to step up(?) from where i am currently at. feeling all the contentment and the reaffirmation i had from the past five days of my vacation from work. i asked myself,

if i am contended?

definitely i am.

did it served its purpose?
more than i thought it could be.

am i happy?

too happy that i felt that as much as i don't want to end it, there's just this need that tells me that there is no perfect time than now for it my flew away from me again.

then i remembered, kurt cobain.

i realized contentment and figured out the best thing in life comes when you start building courage, stepping up and turning yourself back from nostalgia and enjoying what you currently have.

probably, this is another phase of growing up--- maturing, as they call it. it is a concoction of bitter sweet memories and excitement.

then i thought,

as diaries runs out of pages,

as every trip reaches its destination,
as every road meets its dead end

then so is a commuter from wandering.

wandering not on the wonders outside, but basically on this page he have already called his sanctuary.

as much as i don't want to say this, but yes, my friends i am now, saying my goodbye to this page and giving out my sincerest "thank you" to all of you have spent time to read a part of what i call my life.

its been a wonderful, fruitful and well spent 3 and half years of blogging.

i have expressed a lot of myself, from which i thought i really don't have the courage to do so. i have learned more than what my life could actually offer me from other people's blog and comments. and most of all, i have gained friends out of the risk of unveiling my anonymousity, which i found to be one of the best decisions i made.

but sometimes there are just things that you just have to give up in order to achieve something else right?! nonetheless, i can say its all worth it. again, thank you!

and till we meet again at the crossroads,

ewik- "there are wonders when you wander."